30. Kieran
THIRTY
KIERAN
I blinked awake slowly, and the memory of the night before came rushing back. The conversation. The tears. The confessions. The I love you’s. A smile tugged at my mouth before I could stop it.
Thane’s face was buried against the back of my neck, his breath stirring my hair with every exhale. His arm was draped across my waist, heavy and possessive. Sometime during the night, he'd apparently decided personal space was optional.
Honestly? I wasn't complaining. I shifted slightly. The arm around my waist tightened immediately. A sleepy grumble sounded behind me.
Then lips brushed the back of my shoulder. "You're awake."
The roughness of his voice made my smile widen.
"Maybe."
A kiss landed against the back of my shoulder. Then another.
"Definitely awake." I rolled onto my back so I could look at him.
His hair was a mess. His eyes were still half closed. I'd never seen anything more attractive in my life.
A slow smile spread across his face. "You're staring."
I brushed my fingers through the hair falling across his forehead. "Maybe."
"Good."
His answer made me laugh.
He caught my hand before I could lower it and pressed a kiss into my palm. The simple affection of it nearly undid me. It felt like he'd been doing it forever.
His thumb brushed over my knuckles. "There is something I wanted to ask you."
Something in his expression immediately caught my attention. It wasn't nervousness... more like hope.
"What?"
"We have a home game on Saturday."
For a second, I simply looked at him. Then realization dawned. "Oh."
His smile softened. "I want you there. Would you come with me?"
I looked at the man lying beside me and realized this wasn't really about hockey. It was an invitation. To his world. To the people who mattered to him. To being seen.
The thought was terrifying. And wonderful.
Thane must have seen something on my face because he simply waited. Giving me space to choose. The same way he'd done last night. The choice was mine. Not fear's.
Mine.
"Okay."
His eyebrows lifted. "Yeah?"
I laughed. "Yeah."
The smile that spread across his face was worth every ounce of nerves that immediately followed.
He rolled onto his side so he could look at me properly. "I'll introduce you to everybody."
"Oh, good."
His grin widened. "That didn't sound terrified at all."
"I'm choosing not to panic until at least Friday."
"Very mature."
"I thought so."
He laughed and leaned forward to steal another kiss.
By the time we finally dragged ourselves out of bed, we'd spent more time kissing than talking. Not that I was complaining.
As Thane pulled on his shirt and pants, he glanced back at me.
"You know you're getting an Orcas jersey."
I narrowed my eyes. "That wasn't a question."
"Nope."
"What if I don't want one?"
His expression suggested he found that possibility deeply amusing. "You're getting one."
I pointed at him. "Bossy."
His grin only widened. "Wait until you see whose name is on the back."
I groaned.
A few minutes later, I stood by the window and watched him cross the parking lot toward his SUV.
Halfway there, he looked back. When he spotted me watching, he smiled and lifted a hand. Then he climbed inside and drove away.
The apartment felt quiet after that. I sat down on the couch and let the reality of Saturday settle over me.
An NHL arena.
Thousands of people.
Cameras.
Teammates.
The whole world Thane had spent years building. The thought still made me nervous. But beneath the nerves was something new.
Excitement.
The realization caught me off guard. For so long, fear had been the loudest voice in the room. Maybe it didn't have to be anymore. My gaze drifted toward my phone on the coffee table. I stared at it for a moment. Eventually, I reached for it. There was one conversation thread I needed to open.
Janelle. The name sat there on the screen.
Familiar.
Complicated.
For years, we'd existed in this strange space between strangers and family. Birthday messages. Christmas texts. Occasional check-ins to make sure the other person was still doing okay.
Enough to stay connected.
Never enough to move forward.
My thumb hovered over the screen. I thought about everything that had happened over the last twenty-four hours. About finally telling the truth. About Thane refusing to let fear make my decisions for me. About saying yes to Saturday.
Maybe it was time to stop saying no to other things, too. Before I could talk myself out of it, I opened the message thread. My fingers hesitated only once. Then I typed:
Me: Hey. Do you have time for coffee sometime?
I read the message twice. Then I hit send. The screen went still. There was no taking it back now.
For a moment, I sat there staring at the text.
My pulse was moving a little faster than normal. Not because I knew what would happen next. Because I didn't. And for once, I wasn't letting uncertainty stop me.
I wasn't waiting for somebody else to choose me.
I was choosing too.