Chapter Twenty
I switched my phone off early so that I would resist the temptation of sending any drunken messages to Tomas. That certainly wouldn’t look good, plus Milena would probably strangle me and sit on me with her strong muscular thighs. So, when I finally get around to looking at my phone, I find a message that Tomas had sent shortly after he said goodnight. Perhaps he didn’t sleep well after all.
Hope it’s okay if I pick you up at nine-thirty instead? I have to
visit the bar later, so will be busy in the afternoon.
It is already 9 a.m.! Yikes. I find myself panicking as I look around the room for something to wear. I am in such a rush to get ready that I throw on some jeans with my Christmas jumper. I would prefer to look my best for Tomas, but I don’t have time to iron any of the stuff that got crumpled in the suitcase. Besides, my Christmas jumper might help cool down the passion between us.
I rush downstairs to meet him and only just catch my breath when I see him. I immediately see that look again. His eyes light up, the smile he gives me seems to radiate from the heart, and he greets me happily by kissing my left cheek. I kiss him back. Every time I see him, it gets harder to ignore all these signs.
‘So, how was last night?’ asks Tomas.
I could ask him the same, but I am not sure that I want to hear what he says. So, I tell him all about the dinner and the performers who kept me entertained whilst I sat there alone. Of course, I don’t admit that I banged my head on the table and made a right fool of myself with the magician. I would prefer him to think I am a bit cooler than that.
Back at Albert’s apartment, Tomas holds the entrance door open for me like the true gentleman he is. ‘Lift or stairs?’
I hate that claustrophobic lift, but it is also my one chance of being close to Tomas. I tell myself to take the stairs, but it just doesn’t come out like that.
‘Lift,’ I smile.
Since we can only just about stand side by side in it, our hands brush each other’s as the lift jerks upwards. I wish my body would stop automatically wanting to press closer into him. The lift moves slowly, and my hand smacks Tomas on the bottom as he shuffles around. Oh my gosh. I swear that was not on purpose. I stand there sweating. What do I do? Do you ignore something like that or come clean and apologise? My mind is in overdrive as I think about what to do. It is not like I can blame someone else in here for the terrible mistake. Do I acknowledge it? Or is it better to hope he doesn’t notice? Oh no. I am horrified. Of course, he noticed.
‘Sorry,’ I say.
‘Sorry for what?’ asks Tomas.
I knew I should have pretended nothing had happened. I can’t say out loud that I have just touched him accidentally and inappropriately.
‘Oh, just sorry I banged into you. It’s a bit cramped in here, isn’t it.’
Tomas smiles politely, and I begin to wonder if he has any feeling in his bum. Perhaps he didn’t notice after all.
When I see Albert, all thoughts of Tomas and his numb bum are soon banished.
‘Good to see you,’ he says. Albert seems to be in a very good mood today, and I become curious about last night. What if Tomas had some kind of final row with Milena and she is never coming back and now it is all sorted as he says? I imagine that would certainly please Albert.
‘I hope Tomas has told you about his New Year’s Eve party. Please tell me that you’ll still be here for it?’ says Albert.
‘Yes, I’ll be coming. Maybe I won’t be able to stay too late though. I’m normally in bed early on New Year’s Eve.’
‘Nonsense. You’ll have to stay until the early hours with me in case nobody wants to talk to the old man.’
‘Of course, they’ll want to talk to you.’
Albert shrugs his shoulders and smiles.
‘It will be great to have you there. It’s the one night of the year that Albert dresses up in his black tie,’ says Tomas.
‘I like to make the most of it. You never know when it will be your last,’ says Albert.
‘What have we said before? You’re as strong as an ox,’ says Tomas.
‘Well, I shall look forward to seeing you dressed up, Albert.’
‘I’m so happy you stayed on for it. You’ll have a chance to see my new bar before you fly home. I don’t quite have everything I need, but I’ll try and make it look okay for the party. That’s where I’ll be this afternoon. I have to start cleaning it out and getting it ready.’
‘Oh, if I can help, I’d be happy to.’
‘No, you’re my guest. That wouldn’t be polite of me.’
‘I don’t mind. It’s not like I’m doing anything.’
Then I think what if Milena is there? What if things were sorted with Tomas to her favour? Three’s a crowd and all that. For all I know she could be trying to make amends for the last business she ruined and doing her utmost to help him.
‘I want you to enjoy the sights of Prague. You’re our guest here. You shouldn’t be working and helping me.’
I would very much like to be working beside him, but I try to bury any salacious thoughts.
‘Well, I’d love to see your new venture. After my last tourist excursion, I had considered doing a ghost walk this evening; but I don’t think I’ll bother now.’
‘A ghost walk! You don’t believe in all of that, do you?’ says Albert.
‘Well, I don’t know. Some things can’t be explained.’
‘Like what?’
‘Like the fact that we’re all sitting here now, brought together by death,’ I say.
‘That’s not a ghost, is it? Your aunt sent you here,’ says Albert.
I want to tell him about the robin who appears from nowhere. It is comforting to believe we are sent messages, especially at Christmastime, when we miss those who have passed on more than ever. Albert seems as though he is the type to put it all down to nonsense, though, and I certainly don’t want to fall out with him over our different views. So, I don’t mention anything further and turn my attention to searching in the box for the next letter and open up a random envelope. I notice that this letter is six months after they first met.
‘2 January 1994
My dearest Marek,
It was wonderful to celebrate Czech New Year with you, even if it was from what feels like the other side of the world. I am sorry I had to rush off the phone, but Elsie was shouting and kept asking who I was on the phone to. You’d never think I was a woman in her fifties, would you!
After I put the phone down, Elsie and I had a game of dominoes together. I’m quite sure she cheated. Sometimes, I do wonder if she is quite as ill as she claims to be, but I know she loves living with me since Harry died. Do you know dominoes? If not, I’ll show you when we finally meet up. Although, somehow, I don’t think we will be playing dominoes together.
Did you mean what you said on the phone? That this will be our year? Wouldn’t that be a lovely thought. It would be wonderful to see you again.
Your mention of an engagement so soon was a beautiful thought, but it took me by surprise. A lovely surprise, and something I would very much love. How about we wait until it’s been a year together and then commit to each other? Please understand that I need a little more time because of all the family commitments. I know you said that life is short, and I can’t argue with that, but what if we spoil the magical thing that we have? I couldn’t imagine how awful that would be.
We were so busy talking about us that I forgot to ask how your family are? How is young Tomas getting on at uni? I do hope he’s enjoying some Welsh hospitality in Cardiff…’
As I see what comes next, I stop reading the letter. ‘That’s it, then, it just says the usual, “ With all my love, forever ”,’ I say.
I keep the letter in my hand, making sure nobody reads the rest of it. I quickly glance down once more, checking that I really did read that correctly. I look over the words that shock me to the core as I read it the second time around.
I have to confess, I wish Tomas could have bumped into Olivia. From what you tell me about him, they’d be perfect for each other.
Trying to compose myself, I think how I can hide this letter. I don’t want Tomas to see it. Things are complicated enough between us as it is.
‘Did you want another coffee before the next letter?’ asks Tomas, getting up and heading towards the kitchen.
‘Oh, yes, please. My mouth has suddenly gone very dry.’