Forty-nine
Rachel didn’t know how she’d made it through the last two weeks, only seeing Luke in the distance, and avoiding times when she knew he and Nelson would be on the beach. She could see them from her window, his tall figure, the large dog running by his side. He seemed to do a lot of running these days, running or surfing. Both activities which would keep his mind occupied.
Could he be missing her as much as she was missing him? Rachel thought of the sleepless nights, the times when she dozed off only to wake again in the early hours, the times when she picked up her phone to call him, only to drop it again. Now Verity was sleeping the whole night in her own bed, Rachel’s felt empty again. Only two more weeks and he’d be gone back to Sydney, and she wouldn’t have to face seeing him on the beach and wonder what he was thinking.
But today was Verity’s birthday, and last night Alexander had made good his promise to arrive before her big day and had surprised the excited little girl. It had taken two stories from Alexander, and Rachel agreeing to allow Molly to stay with her, for Verity to go to sleep.
‘She seems back to normal now,’ Alexander had said when he joined Rachel in the living room where she’d poured them both a glass of port. ‘It was a hard decision, Mum, but the only one I could think of at the time. I’ve missed her.’
Rachel hadn’t replied, remembering the tears, the sleepless nights, the times Verity had crawled into bed with her. But he was right. He was in no position to bring up a child on his own and, no matter how much Rachel loved her son, she knew how thoughtless he could be at times. A young child needed security, and Rachel could provide that. There was always Jess, but with three of her own…
‘It’s my birthday!’ A little whirlwind flew into Rachel’s bedroom and flung herself onto the bed, followed by Molly who jumped up too.
‘Happy birthday, my darling,’ Rachel said, hugging the wriggling little body.
‘Daddy’s still asleep,’ Verity said in disgust. ‘Can we have breakfast?’
‘Let me get up, shower and dress. Your daddy had a long flight yesterday. He must be tired. Can you dress yourself?’
‘Can I wear my party dress, the one I got for Christmas and wore to the twins’ party?’
‘Of course. It’s your birthday. You can wear whatever you want to.’
‘Yay!’ Verity slid down from the bed and, went off to get dressed, Molly following, like her shadow.
Alone again, Rachel smiled to herself. It was Verity’s birthday. They were having a party. She’d put on her happy face, and no one would guess her heart was breaking. She hadn’t realised how much it would hurt when she told Luke of her decision, assuming it would be a bit like pulling off a band aid – hurt for a moment, then the hurt would gradually lessen till it was gone completely. But that hadn’t happened, at least not yet.
She’d tried to make light of it when she met her group of friends for lunch, saying it had been one of those things, never meant to last, and had brushed off their sympathetic comments. But it had hurt. Without meaning to, determined to keep her heart intact, she’d fallen hopelessly in love with Luke Findlay.
There were no guests to worry about today, so Rachel made banana pancakes for Verity and Alexander as a treat, then set to making the special birthday cake Verity had asked for, while Alexander took Verity – inappropriately dressed in her party dress – to the beach with Molly who rarely left her side.
The party started with the arrival of the twins who were as excited as if it was their own birthday. Verity was showered with gifts, but the one she liked best was from her new friend, Sandy, who had brought his dog, Bluey, with him. It was a pair of shorts, a tee-shirt and a water bottle, all based on the Bluey cartoon character. ‘He chose them himself,’ Adele, Sandy’s mother, whispered to Rachel when Verity opened the parcel, her eyes shining with excitement.
As the party progressed, Rachel was pleased to see Alexander take an active role in organising the games and appearing to be enjoying himself. She also noticed how he and Adele often seemed to be standing together, either watching the children play or chatting. She wondered if this might be the start of something but was too afraid to hope. Finn’s daughter had lost her husband in a drowning accident over a year earlier, and Rachel knew Finn would love to see her move on and provide Sandy with a father. She remembered Verity telling her how Sandy had said she could share his mother and thought how wonderful if it could really happen, and he could share her father too. She mentally crossed her fingers. Maybe it wasn’t too farfetched , she thought as she watched Alexander laugh at something Adele had said to him.
‘Wow,’ Rachel said to Alexander, when the last guests had left. ‘It was fun, but I’m glad it’s over. I may be getting too old for kiddie’s parties.’
‘You’ll never be too old, Mum,’ Alexander said fondly, giving her a hug. ‘I thought you were wonderful.’
‘Thanks.’ Rachel glowed. Alexander wasn’t normally so fulsome with his praise. ‘But those twins… they’ll be the death of me.’
‘They are a bit much,’ Alexander agreed. ‘That Sandy kid’s nice, and he’s very gentle with Verity. She seems to adore him.’
‘His mum’s nice too,’ Rachel risked saying.
To Rachel’s surprise, Alexander blushed. ‘We spoke. She told me about Sandy’s dad. She understands.’
Rachel gazed at her son in surprise. Had she been right in thinking there was more to his relationship with Anthea than he’d told her? She thought it best not to comment.
‘She’s invited Verity and me to tea tomorrow. Sandy wants to show Verity some tricks he’s taught Bluey,’ he added by way of explanation.
‘That’ll be nice,’ Rachel said, feeling tentatively optimistic. It was probably too soon for both of them, but perhaps in time… Especially if Alexander kept his promise to come back frequently to see Verity.
Rachel was exhausted by the time she fell into bed that night. As she relived the events of the day, she took comfort in the possibility of Alexander and Sandy’s mother finding common ground and forming a relationship. It would be good, not only for them, but for both children who already seemed to have formed a bond. And, of course, there was the possibility, if that were to happen, that Alexander might return home for good. As her eyes started to close, Rachel acknowledged how much easier it was to plan for the future of others than to make good decisions for herself. She wondered what Luke was thinking right now, if he ever thought of her, of what might have been.