Fifty
Luke was conscious his time in Pelican Crossing was drawing to an end. There were only two more weeks before he’d be finished here and heading back to Sydney.
On the one hand, he’d be glad to leave. It was agony knowing Rachel was living just a short distance away across the bluff. She might as well have been on the other side of Australia for all the good it did him. Their paths hadn’t crossed since that fateful morning when she’d told him she didn’t want to see him again. She hadn’t put it as bluntly as that, of course, saying they could still be friends. But despite sharing a beach, she and Molly had never been there at the same time as him and Nelson. He suspected she was deliberately avoiding him, and perhaps he didn’t blame her. It saved any awkwardness.
On the other hand, he wasn’t looking forward to returning to Sydney, to seeing his family home being turned into a nursery. Each time he spoke with Josh on the phone, his son reported one more item they’d bought for the baby. The house must be overflowing with baby paraphernalia by now, and soon there would be the baby itself. While he had always looked forward to becoming a grandfather, it had never occurred to him he’d be sharing a house with his grandchild and its parents.
He’d miss Pelican Crossing too. While he’d been hesitant to return, he’d discovered he enjoyed the peace and tranquillity of the coastal town where he’d grown up, the place which still held so many pleasant memories. And he’d developed a renewed enthusiasm for the beach and surfing. Nelson liked it too. It would be difficult to return to walking on concrete paths on a busy thoroughfare, or in the confines of the park, instead of enjoying the freedom of a deserted beach, to breathe in car fumes instead of the scent of the ocean. His old schoolmates, led by Troy, were already planning a farewell for him. He didn’t think he could stomach it.
Tired after a busy day at the clinic, Luke was considering his options, one of which was his proposed trip to Italy. He was actually checking out flights and accommodation when an email from Bob dropped into his mailbox. This was nothing new. Luke and Bob had kept in constant touch since Luke arrived in Pelican Crossing, Luke reporting on local and clinic news, and Bob providing effusive accounts of life in the States which he was enjoying. Luke wasn’t exactly in the mood to read another of Bob’s diatribes about how wonderful life was in the United States where everything seemed to be bigger and better than back here in Pelican Crossing.
He fixed himself a coffee before reading it. The first section contained all the usual bluster about the weather, the food, the people. Then Luke’s eyes widened as he read,
I know how much you appear to be enjoying being back in Pelican Crossing so, although this may come as a surprise to you, I’m confident you’ll agree. To my great delight and I must confess, surprise, I’ve been invited to become a visiting lecturer with the faculty here. It would mean I’d be staying for another six months, possibly longer. I’m hoping you’ll see fit to continue your good work at the clinic for that period. Can you get back to me as soon as possible as the Dean needs to know if I can accept his kind offer?
Luke didn’t read any further. This was the last thing he’d expected. If only he and Rachel were still close, still speaking even, he could discuss it with her. But as things stood, could he bear to stay?
*
The sun was peeping over the horizon when Luke went down the steps to the beach with Nelson next morning. After reading Bob’s email, he hadn’t been able to sleep. If he accepted the offer, it would mean he would run the risk of seeing Rachel every day, of being reminded of what might have been. The thought of what it could be like for her to have become a permanent part of his life sent his heart racing. But what about his plan to travel to Italy, and Josh and Abby back in Sydney? It was all too hard.
Leaving Nelson to wander down to the ocean, Luke sat on a grassy tussock, his hands round his knees, staring out to sea, his thoughts in a whirl.
‘You look very pensive this morning.’
Luke looked up to see old Agnes gazing down at him. Although the dog beach had reopened, he’d noticed that some of the old guard were still bringing their dogs here. Agnes was one of them. ‘I have a lot to think about.’
‘Sometimes a worry shared is a worry halved.’ Agnes pulled up her long skirt and sat down beside him. Her spaniel had joined Nelson in the surf.
Luke managed a chuckle. It was something his grandmother used to say too. Maybe it wouldn’t hurt to speak to old Agnes. Who was she going to tell? ‘I doubt you can help me,’ he said.
‘Why don’t you try me? There’s not much I haven’t heard over the years.’
Luke stared at the old woman for a few moments, then he began, telling her about Rachel, about Bob’s offer, and about his indecision. ‘It’s crazy,’ he said as he finished. ‘I’m not a kid. I should be able to make up my own mind. I don’t know why I’m dithering like this.’
Agnes’s eyes met his, and Luke saw a world of wisdom in the old, lined face. ‘Rachel’s a good woman. She’s had a tough life. It wasn’t easy for her when her husband got sick, but she rose to the challenge. Then she set up her B&B business while taking care of her grandchildren. Now, I hear her son has presented her with another grandchild to take care of – on a permanent basis. I can understand why she might be cautious about forming a relationship with someone like yourself whose life and family are interstate. And you’re about to become a grandparent yourself, you say?’
‘Yeah.’ When she put it like that, Luke could see Rachel’s point of view. ‘But…’
‘How do you feel about her?’ The old woman didn’t mince words.
‘I love her.’ It was the first time Luke had said it out loud.
‘Have you told her?’
‘No, she…’
‘Don’t blame Rachel. How can she know how you feel if you haven’t told her? She’s not a mind reader.’
But you are?
‘So, you’re suggesting…?’ Luke’s pulse raced.
‘Here’s your opportunity.’ Agnes rose to leave. ‘Don’t waste it.’
Looking down the beach, Luke saw Rachel walking along the edge of the water, Molly prancing at her heels.