Chapter 25
The truth sucks hard.
The bright sun smiled at the billowy clouds, and the crowd gathered to watch NFL hopeful Carter St. Patrick in his last homecoming game.
He’d been a starter since his freshman year after being heavily recruited from his high school in Dallas.
He had been treated like a God by the administration and by the coach.
He’d generated sales for the athletic department.
He brought new attention to our football team, which will remain strong next year once he graduates.
I never felt prouder to be his girlfriend than during a game.
Not for bragging rights that I landed the man on campus who hadn’t claimed anyone until me.
Carter’s talent and heart set him far apart from his teammates and seeing him in action was a sight to behold.
I’d always loved and understood football because of my father and brother.
One of the reasons I noticed Carter before we took a class together.
Watching him today as the crowd cheered when he stepped on the field, handsome with his hair tamed into my cornrows, proud, I could almost forget that tomorrow might be the last day of our relationship.
The worst thing I could imagine is that he cheated, and maybe Grey caught him.
I could see Grey pressuring Carter to confess rather than to tell me himself.
I’d just asked Chelsea if she could forgive her ex, and I should be asking myself the same question.
Could I forgive Carter and move forward?
The way my heart swelled with love when he held the peace sign up, and against his chest, our special sign when his gaze found me in the crowd, I believed I could.
Especially if we were having a baby. I touched my womb, already embracing the possibility.
I missed a period, which wasn’t unusual for me when stressed.
But my stomach seemed to churn with very little provocation.
I’d taken the Plan B pill after my wild birthday weekend.
Most of the time, Carter and I used condoms. We had a few spontaneous moments, and he pulled out.
I had a birth control appointment this week, and it was probably too late.
We’d been careless, and now we were facing parenthood before we were ready.
I sat between our mothers and potential grandmothers, who seemed to get along.
Mama would be supportive of my pregnancy because she exuded positivity and light.
Ms. St. Patrick would probably think I trapped her son, and my mother might be the only one who could get her to accept a grandchild.
If Carter’s mother could resist Mama, something was wrong with her.
My father and brother would be upset initially since they still didn’t see me as a woman.
Danielle might be harder on me than my mother because she’d so often taken that role with me over the years.
Before I told anyone, including Carter, I would get tested and have all the details.
The game finally began, and we won the coin toss.
The stands were packed at a sold-out game.
Our families were all together in the stands, right behind the bench.
Neither Grey nor Chelsea showed up for the game, though they’d been invited.
I hadn’t seen or heard from either since last night.
Maybe they were together, sexing and discussing whatever Grey knew about Carter.
Both probably wondered what I saw in Carter, who didn’t hide that he didn’t care for my closest friends.
A fact that bothered me more than I cared to share with Carter.
I also couldn’t erase the image of Grey and Chelsea having sex.
The constant self-talk did not stop my obsessive thoughts of the two as a couple.
What if he fell for Chelsea and gave her what he wouldn’t give me?
Chelsea was the kind of woman who fully expected and got what she wanted from men.
He’d known Chelsea since our freshman year, and he’d also been a good friend to her.
Could I genuinely support their relationship if I knew they were happy?
My mind resolved that I could, while my heart screamed a resounding no.
Suddenly, everyone around me jumped up, screaming.
I belatedly stood up, trying to decipher the scene unfolding before me on the field.
I finally spotted Carter running down the field with five opponents fast on his heels.
One of the men managed to grab his waist, and with sheer force, Carter continued to run as if he didn’t have a two-hundred-pound weight attached to him.
He fell in the endzone, the ball still intact as the men piled on top.
The crowd went wild as Carter completed the touchdown.
While everyone celebrated, I grabbed his mother’s hand when I realized he didn’t move when everyone finally got off him.
“My baby.” His mother cried, and she lurched forward, ready to run across the field to him. Her maternal instinct kicked into overdrive. Chase, his brother, quickly grabbed his mother into a big hug before she left the stands.
“Mama. He’s not that boy anymore. We have to wait.”
Tears streamed down her face. “Why isn’t he moving?”
“He’s been playing for years and probably got the wind knocked out of him,” I reassured, trying to quell my own fears. Injuries were part of football. He’d been blessed that he’d never been seriously injured in his long career. I prayed that his streak continued. “He’s going to be fine.”
The crowd quieted, watching the paramedics rush onto the field.
The coach fell on his knees, his face close to Carter’s, speaking to him.
The coach nodded, and I squeezed Ms. St. Patrick’s hand.
“Carter must be talking. The coach is probably telling him not to move until the medical staff tells him to do it.”
My mother’s comforting arm went around me from the other side. “He’s going to pull through.”
I rested my head on her shoulder, grateful for her presence.
I understood his mother’s desire to be near him.
It hurt that we couldn’t run to the field and check on him.
That he may have needed her. Maybe even me.
And we couldn’t be there with him. If we were scared, I can only imagine how frightened he was.
For the first time, I understood why he didn’t want to play anymore.
And maybe we’d all been selfish and made him feel that the only gift he offered to the world was his athletic talent when Carter was so much more than a football player.
Finally, the staff carefully removed his helmet and placed him on a stretcher.
As they carried him away, he lifted his helmet to the crowd’s supportive, thunderous applause and loud cheer.
His mother clasped her hands in front of her in prayer, and she looked at me.
“Do you have the code to his place?” When I nodded, she continued, “Can you pack him a bag? I want him with me. He’s coming back with me to the rental once they release him or if he has to go to the hospital. ..” Her voice broke.
I nodded. “Either way, he’ll need a bag.”
Then, his mother and brother rushed to the locker room, and the game resumed. I encouraged my family to stay, and Danielle, who came to the game with her husband, offered to bring me home.
The minute we were alone in her car, my emotional dam exploded. I wailed as I unleashed everything I’d seen and felt about Carter, Chelsea, and Grey. She listened patiently as she maneuvered out of the packed parking lot.
I took a deep breath before I concluded, “And I’m pregnant.”
My sister slammed on the brakes, and we both jerked forward. “What?”
I nervously looked around, making sure she didn’t cause an accident, and repeated, “I’m pregnant.”
She popped my arm hard. “How could you be so careless this close to graduation? You’ll be waddling across the stage, and what if Carter doesn’t want the baby? Then what?”
I rubbed my arm. “I don’t need a lecture right now, okay?
I feel bad enough for not knowing what the fuck is happening with Carter.
What if he’s seriously injured? We worry about him playing, but what if he can’t do something as simple as walking?
Then he was supposed to tell me tomorrow, whatever the fuck happened, that’s got him spooked, that I could leave him.
He’s probably not coming home tonight, so I have to wait even longer.
I can’t worry about whether I’m pregnant. At least not yet.”
Danielle resumed driving as she asked, “Darren, are you pregnant or not?”
“I haven’t been tested or taken a test, but I’m positive I am. My period is late by almost two weeks.”
“You do know it could be Grey’s. It’s only been six weeks since you first had sex with both.” My sister glanced at me as we rode down the interstate.
“Shit.” I covered my face with my hands.
“That thought didn’t occur to you?”
“No. I took Plan B after that weekend. And Carter and I...” I let my words trail off. Danielle and I were close. Still, she was my big sister, and telling her that we’d been fucking like rabbits for weeks didn’t seem appropriate.
She patted my knee. “It’s probably Carter’s, but you'd better be prepared if it isn’t.”
I shook my head vehemently. “It has to be Carter’s. Grey doesn’t want children. He’ll be pissed and resentful. Carter might be pissed, too, but at least he wants children and wants to marry me.” I started rocking. “Oh my God, if it is Grey’s, will Carter still want to be with me?”
Danielle quipped. “Stop all the worrying. I’m tired of women having to go through this alone.
Scared to say anything. Scared that the man would be upset.
Fuck both of them. They should’ve wrapped it up every time if they didn't want babies. We get so concerned with their feelings that we can’t even focus on how we feel. Do you want this baby?”
“Abortion is not an option,” I said firmly.