Chapter 31
I was a nervous wreck.
Belle didn’t seem nervous at all as Essie urged her into a trot, letting her stretch her legs in the warm-up ring before their event. She was curious and energetic as she took in her strange surroundings and—to my great relief—not fighting the bit. Essie, too, was totally calm and collected, even when another rider in the ring cut her off, causing her horse to kick dust in Belle’s face.
“You got wipes, James?” Adam asked. Calmly, because he was another person who apparently had nerves of steel.
“Of course.” I was about to puke up my breakfast—pancakes, courtesy of Adam, with a side of chocolate chips, courtesy of Ben—but I was still a professional. I had a full grooming kit in the trailer, plus emergency supplies in my bag.
“Let’s go make her pretty again.”
“Why aren’t you nervous?” I demanded. “I’m literally sweating right now.”
“Everyone’s sweating. It’s almost August. And I’m not nervous because there’s nothing to be nervous about. Honestly, I never truly believed we’d be here. But we are. Because of you. You got Belle here. Of course I hope she’ll do well, but you know as well as I do that we can’t control that outcome. Doing well requires both training and luck. You did the training. Now we have to wait and see if our luck holds. If not, there will be other shows. Your training made sure of that.”
“Oh.” I blinked. I had worked myself to the bone, hoping to hear those words from my dad. They never came. And here was Adam, spouting them off, easy as pie.
He was a step ahead of me, scanning the crowd for a way through, and his hand bumped against mine as he reached for me behind him. A voice inside my head told me to push it away. It wasn’t professional to hold hands. I had to prove I was good enough to be here all on my own, without anyone else helping me. No one would take me seriously. I wasn’t enough. That voice sounded a lot like my dad.
But there was another voice that whispered to put my hand in his. I did my job well. My proof was in the horses I had trained. Holding hands couldn’t diminish that. I was enough right now.
And that voice sounded like mine. So I listened.
I watched as my hand, so much smaller than his but just as calloused, was engulfed by his. He glanced over his shoulder at me like he was seeking reassurance. You okay with this? I smiled and nudged him forward with the toe of my boot. I’m okay. Like we had our own private language that consisted of eyebrow twitches and lip tilts.
It was the right choice, I realized, as he led me through the crowd. Wherever this man went, I wanted to follow. And when I was in the lead, I one hundred percent knew he had my back. That was how it worked with us.
And that was why I was ready to puke pancakes while he was cool as a cucumber.
I wasn’t nervous for myself. I wasn’t nervous for Essie. I wasn’t even nervous for Belle. I was nervous for Adam. More than anything—even more than proving myself to my dad—I wanted it to go well for him. I wanted Belle to be so awesome today that it lifted some of the weight he carried on his shoulders. I wanted her performance to launch Lodestar Ranch back into the spotlight where it belonged.
Adam wasn’t worried about any of that. Because he trusted me to get it done. If not with this show, then the next one. He believed in me.
Damn.
It felt good.
“How does she feel?” Adam asked Essie as I produced a packet of wipes from my bag and gently cleaned the dust from Belle’s white star.
“Good.” Essie leaned forward and gave Belle a firm pat on her neck, right below her cream-colored mane. “Ready.”
“How do you feel?” I asked.
She tilted her head. “You know how sometimes before a show, a string of little things goes wrong, one right after the other, and it’s a sign? Like, this isn’t your day. You should have slept in instead.”
I nodded slowly. Off days. Nothing you could do except laugh and try again next time.
“Today is the opposite of that. Everything is easy. Belle has the right amount of energy and focus to do the job and look at how beautiful she is today.” Essie grinned. “I have a feeling this is going to be a good ride. A really good ride.”
“Don’t say that!” I twisted frantically, searching for wood.
Adam snickered. He squatted low, snagged a woodchip off the floor, and handed it to me. I rapped the knuckle of my index finger against it, and he tucked it into his pocket.
We left Essie to finish her warmup, making it back to our seats right when her number was called.
I held my breath as Belle pranced into the ring. If there was a ribbon for the prettiest pair, Belle and Essie would have claimed the blue. They were gorgeous together. More importantly, they worked beautifully together. Essie cued Belle with nearly imperceptible commands. Belle complied eagerly, as though she had been waiting her whole life for the opportunity to do just that.
When it was time for the circles and spins, some of the flashiest and hardest moves, Belle made it look effortless. Both horse and rider were having fun out there and it showed.
Adam squeezed my hand. “My mom would have loved to see this. God, she loved this horse.”
I squeezed back.
When the score lit up the board, I jumped to my feet. First place! With a score that would be damn hard to beat. There were only two riders after Essie and Belle, which meant that at the very worst, we were looking at a third-place ribbon.
Over the applause, I heard a familiar voice call my name. “James!”
I looked up, stunned to see the last person I expected. “Dad.”
My parents had planned to stay at a hotel in Aspen Springs, but Adam, probably thinking he was doing me a favor, insisted they take Brax’s cabin at Lodestar Ranch. No matter how much I glared, sending telepathic words with my eyeballs, he refused to read my mind.
He dropped a kiss on my furrowed forehead. “Go get them settled in. We’re all going to the big house to celebrate. You can meet us there.”
It only took a minute to get them situated for what I dearly hoped would be a brief stay. But then Mom wanted to see my cabin, and of course I agreed. She wasn’t the one I was mad at.
“It’s beautiful.” She was as smitten with the view of mountains and horses as I was. She wrapped her arm around my waist and squeezed me against her side. “You must love it here.”
There was a question in her voice, one I didn’t hesitate to answer. “Yeah, Mom. I love it here. I wake up every day and I honestly can’t believe this is my life. I get to do what I love in the most beautiful place on earth. I know I’m lucky.”
Dad huffed. “You used to say Blue Skies was the most beautiful place on earth.”
“They’re both beautiful, in different ways.” Mom laid a pacifying hand on his forearm. “You look happy, James.”
“I am happy.”
“Hm.” Her expression turned coy. “And does a certain handsome rancher have anything to do with that?”
I had known she would ask sooner than later. That forehead kiss wasn’t subtle. I shrugged, like it was no big deal, even though I couldn’t stop the warmth from spreading through me at the thought of him. “Maybe.”
I glanced at Dad and found him frowning. Unsurprising. Well, that was his problem. I wasn’t going to let him cloud my sunshine today.
But then he decided to make it my problem.
“I expected more from you, James.” Parental disapproval laced every word.
I sighed heavily. Apparently, we were really going to do this. There had been a sliver of hope that maybe he had come here because he loved me and missed me. But no. Of course not. He had driven the thousand miles from Blue Skies to Lodestar for the joy of lecturing me on all the ways I had failed, both as a daughter and as a horse trainer.
“Expected more than what, Dad? More than taking on a horse that everyone else had given up on and turning her into a success? More than earning the respect of the trainers and riders I work with every day? More than falling in love with a good man?”
“In love?” Mom squeaked. She clasped her hands like a prayer. Visions of grandchildren danced in her head, no doubt.
“Hypothetically,” I said, because no way was I going to tell my parents I was in love with Adam before I told him. “My point is that he is a good man, the kind of man I could see myself building a life with someday.” If he let me.
The divot between Dad’s brows deepened. “Blue Skies is your life, James. You were born there. Raised there. It’s in your blood. Blue Skies is where you belong. It’s time to come home.”
Like I was a child who had run away from home, rather than a grown-ass woman who had taken a job. “You’re not making sense, Dad. I can’t just leave. My job is here at Lodestar.” A direct result of choices he had made, but I wasn’t going to point that out.
“That was a mistake,” he said, to my utter shock. “And I mean to rectify that now. You’ve proved your point. Everyone is talking about Belle’s performance today, saying she’s one to watch for next year. You’ve done what you came here to do. Now it’s time to come home.”
What the heck was happening right now? I couldn’t wrap my mind around it. “And do what? I already told you I’m not going to run the woman’s program for Blue Skies. I’m the head trainer at Lodestar. That would be a step down for me.”
“I’m not asking you to take a step down, James. I’m asking you to take the position that should have been yours already. Come back to Blue Skies, where you belong.”
I sucked in air. Was this really happening? Was my dad seriously offering the one thing I had wanted my whole life on a silver platter?
My eyes narrowed. Carl Campos had never once offered me anything on a silver platter. I’d had to work twice as hard, only to be constantly told I still wasn’t good enough. In high school, I had skipped parties and hangouts for barn chores. I had chosen a university close to home so I could continue working and my major—farm management—was chosen with Blue Skies in mind. When he told me I needed a wider experience, I went out and got it, even though it broke my heart to leave. Everything he asked me to do, I did it. It was never enough.
And now suddenly it was enough? Yeah, I was a little suspicious.
“What about Eli Stanford?” I asked. I had left California for Colorado the day before he had arrived at Blue Skies to start his new position as head trainer. Mom hadn’t said much about him in our weekly phone calls, but I assumed he had settled in fine.
Dad rocked back on his heels and pondered the mountains. “Eli is a little greener than I had reckoned. He doesn’t have your way. Not with horses. Not with people. He could use your guidance.”
“So…you’re demoting him? Firing him?” My forehead crinkled.
“He’ll stay on. As I said, he could use your guidance.”
“That’s not an answer.”
“You’re my daughter.” He crossed his arms over his chest. “That’s all the title you need.”
I stared at him. That had never been true. He had never allowed it to be true. Which would have been fine if I had sucked at my job or acted like an entitled brat. But I was good. One of the best, even. And I worked damn hard. The only thing that had stood in my way of being accepted as a boss and trainer had been him.
“Dad—”
“Don’t answer me now,” he cut me off. “Think on it some. Your mom and I will be here through the weekend.”