Chapter 13
Phoebe wasn’t sure going to the diner constituted a date. It was really just repayment for what she had done for Tillman. She didn’t feel like he owed her, but she was starving, and supper at the ranch would be long over.
He held the door while she walked in the diner, and they chose a booth along the side.
There weren’t too many customers and they were able to order their food, which was brought out in a short amount of time.
“I wondered how long it would be before the two of you were dating after I heard that you two were working together. Ezra is quite the matchmaker. Not like Sweet Water needs any more of those. We certainly have enough to go around,” Maisie said as she set the food down in front of them.
Phoebe had her mouth open to refute what she had said, but she didn’t get the words out before Maisie left. She turned horrified eyes to Tillman.
He looked a little shocked, a little amused, and a little annoyed.
She was not going to apologize, although the words I’m sorry were on her lips. She had not done anything wrong. Not a thing. He was the one who had suggested they eat at the diner, and she had actually wondered if it was a date. Not seriously, but the thought was there in her head.
“I didn’t realize that was the way this was going to look,” he murmured softly, a thoughtful tone in his voice.
“I guess I should have known. I’ve lived here longer than you.”
“I grew up in a small town too. I know how it is. I just...wasn’t thinking. I was appreciative of what you did and hungry. That’s all that was going through my mind. I promise.”
“I was hungry too. And that’s exactly what I was thinking about. Although, I suppose I did think when you said it that it sounded a little bit like a date, although I laughed and dismissed that immediately. Because I knew that was not what you meant.”
He picked up a French fry and dipped it in the ketchup that he squeezed down on his plate. “I determined in my heart when Nicole did what she did that I was never going to trust another woman again. I was done, completely and totally, with women.”
He kept dipping his fry in the ketchup, moving it around, belying the fact that he said he was hungry, acting like he didn’t care if he ever ate.
She didn’t know what to say, other than that was exactly what Priscilla said, and she was in a very similar situation as to what Tillman was. Phoebe could understand why he would feel that way.
“I hadn’t counted on meeting you.” He looked down at his plate, then he looked back up at her. “Don’t read anything more into that than what there is. You’re just a nice girl. A nice woman. Nice, and that makes me feel that maybe the way I feel about women wasn’t entirely fair. Then maybe, maybe if I had enough time, like you gave me those two hours of silence in the truck, but a lot more time, maybe I might not feel that way about all women forever, if that makes sense.”
She thought she understood what he was saying. He wasn’t interested in a relationship. And wouldn’t be for a very long time, but that wasn’t an insult against her.
“I think sometimes when we go through bad experiences, we feel exactly the way you do. That might be a bit of a survival mechanism. Kind of the way after a food makes you sick, you don’t ever want to eat that food again.”
“Women and food. Every man’s downfall.”
“I don’t think so. Truly. I know that my opinion has to be biased, since I am a female, but I really don’t think that all women are what Nicole seems to be. And maybe, maybe it’s just a matter of her needing to grow up. Or something else.”
She couldn’t make excuses for Nicole. There were no excuses for blowing up a person’s family just because she wanted something different. Especially when the person that she was married to wanted to work things out and she refused. It was hard for Phoebe to find it in her heart to excuse that in any way, but only God knew Nicole’s heart.
It wasn’t really up to her to judge, although she wanted to.
“Thanks for understanding,” he said, and then he put the fry in his mouth.
“You know, we need to say something to Maisie when she comes back, or the entire town is going to think we’re dating. I don’t really care. Small towns are going to talk, but it might be good to just put the effort into trying to nip that in the bud before it gets spread all over town.”
“So you don’t mind being linked with me?” He grinned a little, although there was still the effect of the day in his gaze, the tiredness and the weariness, which made her think he was tired of fighting, tired of the effort, and that made her sad. “After all, I’m the new guy, and you know how small towns are about new people. Do you really want to have the reputation of taking up with someone that nobody knows anything about?”
“They are going to talk, and I don’t really care what they talk about. I guess things that aren’t true bother me, so I’ll want to correct it for that reason, but beyond that, what people say isn’t going to get me worked up. I’m more interested in what God thinks of me than what others say about me. He knows my heart.”
“And it’s a good heart,” he said, with more confidence than maybe she thought he should have felt for all the better he knew her.
“Sweet Water’s a good town. And Maisie means well. I wouldn’t trade my small town for anything.”
He pressed his lips together, like his experience in a small town was slightly different. “I really like the way you think the best of people. I probably should be more like that.”
“Maybe you have reasons for not.”
“I feel like I do, but a lot of times, we feel like we can justify our actions, but in reality, we’re just taking the place of God. Instead of allowing God to work and allowing Him to make judgments, we do it ourselves.”
She couldn’t disagree with that as she speared a piece of broccoli and put it in her mouth, chewing thoughtfully. He had said it all. That was the bottom line. God was in charge, and everything they did should show their faith that He was a righteous judge and would work things out the way they should be worked out.
“I heard there’s a rodeo going on at the Sweet View Ranch,” a voice said beside their table, causing Phoebe to turn.
She recognized one of the Powers brothers. They owned Powers Trucking company and feed mill on either end of Sweet Water.
“You heard right. I sure hope you’re planning on coming.”
“What day is it? I just heard, and I haven’t gotten any details.”
“Six weeks from Friday,” Tillman said while Phoebe grabbed her phone and pulled up the calendar, counting out the six weeks and giving him the date of June 10th and 11th.
“Wow. That’s fast.”
“We’re hoping it’s not too fast,” Phoebe said, maybe being more honest than she needed to be.
But it made him laugh. “That’s the way to do it. Make a plan and hit the ground running, doing it with all your heart. That’s the best way to live life.”
Phoebe’s eyes met Tillman’s. She couldn’t know what he was thinking, but she wondered if it might be along the same lines as what she was, concerning their earlier conversation. The one where he wanted to be careful that he didn’t get hurt again. It seemed to be the opposite of jumping in and living life with his whole heart.
From the look on his face, she got the feeling that might be exactly what he was thinking. She wanted to smile, but she didn’t.
“Just want to let you know that Powers Trucking is behind you. My whole family has been excited about it ever since we heard it at church on Sunday. If there’s anything we can do to help you out, just let me know.”
“That’d be great,” Phoebe said immediately. “We really appreciate your support.”
“And you know, I’m not the only one with an attitude like that. There are a lot of people who would like to see this succeed. I’m sure you’ll have help wherever you need it.”
“I appreciate that. Thank you.”
He nodded, jerked his chin at Tillman, and then he said, “I think I saw Billy around here somewhere.” He winked before he walked off.
“Billy? What was that about?” Tillman asked, with a furrow in his brows, as Phoebe felt her cheeks heat even though she tried to keep them from it. If only there was a way to keep her cheeks from turning bright red every time she was embarrassed.
“Well, before my family moved in, Sweet Water used to have a steer that ran the streets.”
“Like a wild steer? How did he castrate himself?”
“Yeah, that’s a good question. Actually, Billy has an origin story which I’ve heard, but I don’t know if I remember well enough to share the details. I just know he had a reputation in town for being a matchmaking steer.”
“You’re kidding? A matchmaking steer? I feel like I’ve heard everything now.”
“You probably have. But there are people who actually swear by it, and there are at least ten couples who say Billy is the reason they got together. It’s kind of hard to argue with people who say that they wouldn’t be together except for Billy.”
“I suppose one couple might be stretching the truth a little, but ten? That does seem like overwhelming evidence.”
“That’s how I feel about it too. But that was years ago, and the Sweet Water veterinarian, Lark, took Billy so he could retire on her farm. She and her husband, Jeb, have given him a nice home in his old age. Although, being a matchmaking steer wasn’t exactly the most notorious thing Billy was known for.”
“Really?”
“Yes. Some people said that he was in love with a pig. Munchy, I think her name was.”
“This town just gets weirder and weirder, if that’s possible.”
“I think it’s cuter and cuter. I mean, what’s not to love? A matchmaking steer? A steer in love with a pig? And a town that loves them all. Plus, couples who got together because of Billy definitely have a fun story to tell their children and grandchildren.”
“I see. And he was warning us...or maybe he was basically saying the same thing that Maisie was, only he was saying it like a man.”
“That’s a really good deduction. I would have to agree with you.”
He grinned at her over the table. “Well, I told you, I like you. So maybe, you should be the one who’s concerned with all the warnings. If you’re going to run, looks to me like you better get started.”
She was going to say something funny, give a smart retort, but then she remembered about Priscilla and needing to move to Wyoming, and she closed her mouth before any words tumbled out. She might end up running, although not on purpose.
“Hey. I wasn’t trying to push you. We’re friends. That’s what I was thinking anyway. I mean...mostly.”
“No. It’s not that. I was going to say something about me running, just in a smart way, but then I remembered that Priscilla, my twin, might be moving to Wyoming, and maybe I really will be running away. I don’t want to, but I can’t say no to my twin when she needs me.”
“I wouldn’t want you to.” He said the right words, but there was a sadness to them, almost a depression. Like he never expected to have anything more than dregs from the bottom.
She hated that he thought that way, and she hated that she might be making that thought come true in his head.
“That’s not a bridge I have to cross right now. She is not going to Wyoming until after the rodeo. At the very earliest. She just... She can’t stand being away from her kids. She’s in a similar situation as you are.”
“Then I feel bad for her.”
Phoebe nodded, and they finished their meal in silence. The banter that had been between them, and even the little smile and the glimmer of hope, had been crushed. Phoebe didn’t even know if it would be right for her to try to fan it into any kind of flame again, since it might just be false hope.
He paid for their meal, and they drove home in silence, both of them deep in thought. What neither one of them were probably thinking was the fact that man couldn’t see what God had planned. Things would have felt a lot different if they had.