Chapter 24
CHAPTER 24
S ix months had passed since Belle and her children left Sweet Mountain and moved to Denver. Though they visited the Sweet Mountain Ranch when they came every weekend, Aaron was rarely there. Maybe that was a good thing. It kept her mind on where her help came from. Did Aaron sense that, too?
Each weekend, she drove the kids the two hours to her parents’ cabin on Sweet Mountain—first to oversee the construction of the cabin, which went quickly. Once the cabin was built she took her children to Sweet Mountain to enjoy some family quiet time away from the city’s bustle.
Aaron called occasionally to ask how she and the children were doing. Her children were excited to get his calls and wanted to hear news about the horses—especially the new ones. Aaron remembered the names of every horse and told them what it was like to help them adjust to their new home.
Belle relished his calls and was glad to hear the voice that made her heart beat quickly.
Each Sunday, before they returned to the city, Belle took her children to church at Sweet Mountain Community Church.
Aaron hadn’t been at the services.
He was working on a project in Florida, but he still returned to Sweet Mountain—though not when she was in town. He would call and tell her how sorry he was that he missed seeing her. She still couldn’t ignore the doubt that crept into her thoughts. His voice was comforting and light and made her miss him more.
Last summer, it was with regret that she told him she would leave Sweet Mountain. Teaching positions were plentiful along the Front Range. In Denver, she found the perfect rental house near a park and the school she wanted her children to attend.
Her parents didn’t want her to be so far away, but she couldn’t pass this opportunity to trust God. Someone had always taken care of her. Now she would turn to the One Who would do His perfect work in her. Trusting in Him had taken her on a journey that opened many doors.
She had always kept a journal, but when she created a website and posted those entries online, she acquired a following that took her by surprise. She collected the entries into a book and published it.
Shortly afterward, she started a podcast. She recorded it live and took calls, which attracted more listeners. When advertisers asked to sponsor the podcast, she didn’t think twice. More than once she wondered where this was leading and thanked God for giving her the courage to trust Him.
Life wasn’t without roadblocks. Chad had remarried and started a family, but that didn’t keep him from pressing Belle to ask her parents to gift him with a sizable sum. Apparently giving all the proceeds from the sale of their home hadn’t been enough. Because she had quit working when he was hired by the law firm, depending on his salary alone had subjected him to emotional and financial stress.
When Belle didn’t buckle to his demands, he filed a lawsuit against her and her parents.
Her father had faced tougher opponents than Chad. When his team of attorneys countersued, Chad and his lawsuit miraculously disappeared.
Belle knew that wouldn’t be the end. Chad didn’t give up, but that he realized the heavy price he’d pay for having her father as a foe opened his eyes to the battle he would face.
The money meant nothing to Belle. She would pay any price for Chad to spend time with his children. He ignored her requests. That made Belle’s heart ache and brought Kelsey to tears. Lyle put on a brave front, though Belle knew he was breaking inside.
Because of God’s blessings, she wasn’t bitter. God had given her a heart to pray for God’s protection over her ex-husband and his family.
Each time she spoke with Aaron, she invited him to stop by the house for dinner the next time he was in town. He cited other commitments. Why was he keeping his distance? Was it her commitment to let go and let God? He was a man of God. Maybe God was leading him in a different direction. She’d trust Him, too, but she never felt led to give up on Aaron. Whatever was God’s plan, she’d trust in Him.
The next time Aaron called, she invited him for dinner—again.
“What a coincidence,” he said, amusement in his voice.
She thought she hadn’t heard him right.
“I’m flying in tomorrow if that isn’t too soon,” he said.
Belle took a breath and looked around the house. It was clean but looked like a house occupied by a working mom with two children—an easy fix. She’d throw everything into her bedroom and close the door—and hope he didn’t want to see the rest of the house.
The next day at school, Belle started her day filled with joy. When the principal stepped into her classroom, she knew things were about to change.
The school was closing because of low enrollment. She would be laid off.
If ever this was the test of her trust in God, this was it. She returned home but said nothing to the children. She was determined to enjoy her evening with Aaron. She had plenty of time to think about other things. With more enthusiasm than she felt, she and her children straightened the house and cooked dinner—fettucine, steamed broccoli, garlic bread and Caesar salad.
She’d been so busy cleaning house and cooking dinner, she hadn’t given herself time to be nervous about seeing Aaron again. When the doorbell rang, she fought the anxiety rising in her throat. Aaron was her friend. She’d never forget the intimate moment she’d shared with him, but that was a lifetime ago. Now they were friends, weren’t they?
“Mom, are you going to answer the door?” Lyle rushed into the living room and glanced at her frozen form in the kitchen doorway.
“I’m on my way.” She forced a smile.
Knowing she was about to see Aaron’s friendly face was the panacea she needed to take the edge off the day.
She crossed the living room, but Lyle swept past her and opened the door—to Aaron’s powerfully built form filling the doorway. She skidded to a stop. Her jaw tight, she tried to ignore the jolt of heat flooding her face. Judging from Lyle’s puzzled expression, he noticed the burning color.
Her gaze dropped to the bouquet of roses Aaron held.
“They’re beautiful.” Belle touched her fingers to her throat. She lifted her gaze to Aaron’s deep blue eyes, which made her stomach flip over.
“Mom, are you going to invite him in?” Lyle’s confused voice broke through the turmoil churning in her mind.
“Of course.” She stepped back, giving Aaron room. He turned slightly and stepped inside, his broad shoulders dwarfing the tiny living room. He greeted the kids.
“You had me worried.” Aaron’s smile made her warm inside.
She tightened her jaw. She didn’t want to have feelings for this man. God was leading her on the way she should go.
“Where should I put these?” Aaron held the roses but looked around.
“I’ll take them.” She felt flustered when she took them. Why did seeing Aaron again make her nervous? She couldn’t believe she’d made him hold the bouquet that long. Where was her head? Aaron was here as a friend. He wasn’t a date, though the flowers were a nice touch. “I’ll put these in water.” She inhaled deeply. “They smell heavenly.” She turned to the kitchen. “Would you like something to drink?”
“Water’s fine,” he said. He followed her.
Her children followed him.
In the kitchen, she set the bouquet on the counter, then filled a glass with water and set it in front of him.
“Have a seat.” She indicated a chair at the dinette set pushed against the wall.
“It smells good in here.” He sat.
“Thanks.” She searched the drawers for a pair of scissors. “We’re having fettucine, but promise me you won’t compare it to your mother’s cooking.”
“Something that smells this good has to be delicious,” he said.
“Thanks for the vote of confidence,” she said with a laugh.
Lyle and Kelsey sat across from Aaron and asked about the ranch. He answered every question. The stories he told made Belle miss the ranch, the animals, Sweet Mountain and his family more than ever.
While staying at the ranch, her children joyously rose each morning. They worked hard at their chores.
Belle would treasure the conversations she and Aaron had when they sat on the deck.
And she’d miss the moments he took her in his arms and kissed her.
She snipped the roses’ stems. She wouldn’t think about those moments when she’d been so close to Aaron.
“How was your trip?” A change of subject was the relief she needed.
“Good. Productive. I visited your parents a few times.”
“Yes, they told me,” Belle said. They had been thrilled that Aaron had taken the time to see how they were doing.
“Unfortunately, this project will last a few more months,” he said. “I’m ready to get back to the ranch and enjoy the quiet.”
“You have been busy. Every time we’ve visited the cabin, you’ve been out of town,” she said.
The stillness coming from him made her wish she’d thought before she spoke. She didn’t want him to think she was keeping track of him.
“So your mom and dad and brothers are good?” She arranged the roses.
“They’re fine.” If her question amused him, he didn’t show it.
Belle moved through the archway that separated the kitchen from the rest of the house and set the bouquet on the dining room table. She turned to him. “If you want to have a seat, I’ll put dinner on the table.”
“I can help.” He rose, his broad shoulders filling the room. Once again she was reminded that nothing small fit this man. He’d never survive in this bungalow she’d called home for the past few months. He needed open spaces.
Dinner was a reminder of the times she’d spent at the ranch. Though she had joined the McSweeneys for dinner when she visited the cabin, Aaron hadn’t been there. She missed those moments with him.
After dinner, her children had homework to finish so she told them to work on that. She’d cleaned the kitchen, then they could all play a game. She was surprised and grateful when Aaron offered to help her.
“How do you like living in Denver?” he asked as he helped her dry pots and pans.
She hesitated. What was God’s plan? Could she stay in Denver? The easy out would be to move her family to her parents’ home in Florida.
God hadn’t given up on her. She wouldn’t give up on Him.
The income she received from her podcasts and blog was still small. Was it enough to support her and her family? Was she ready to take that step of faith?
“You’re not saying anything,” he said.
She felt his curious look and lifted her gaze to his. It was as if her eyes were open and she understood what lay beneath her fa?ade of pretending she was strong. Pretending everything was all right wasn’t enough and neither was pretending she was depending on God. She was still looking to herself for strength, not God.
Hot tears welled in her eyes.
“What is it?” Aaron threw the dish towel to the counter and moved to her. He seemed uncertain as to what to do.
Her heart ached to have him hold her. Would that mean she wasn’t depending upon God for her strength?
I’m human, Lord. Sometimes, I need someone with skin.
Her relationship with God was stronger than ever, but was she missing something? Was there one last thing she needed to release?
The void floating inside her brought the tears to the surface. One after another, the tears slid down her face. She was such a failure. She thought she was doing everything right. The taunting voice inside her head said she’d done nothing right.
As if he couldn’t stand her pain, Aaron gathered her in his arms and pulled her close. The heat pouring through her comforted and embarrassed her. She didn’t want to cry in front of Aaron, who’d been nothing but a friend. He’d come to dinner to share fellowship, not hear her tale of woe.
She should pull away, but the relief she felt in Aaron’s arms calmed her and stopped her tears.
“Are you going to tell me what happened?” His fingers at her chin, he tipped her face to his.
“I didn’t invite you to dinner to burden you.” She wiped at the tears that dampened her cheeks.
“Isn’t that what friends are for?” His gaze implored hers. His smile slight, his bright blue eyes stared into hers.
Her heart quickened. How she missed looking into his eyes and seeing his smile.
“Now tell me what happened,” he said, his gaze earnest.
“I lost my job today,” she said with a sigh of relief. It felt good to share what she’d been through. She still needed the strength to tell her children what had happened. They depended on her to take care of them, but sharing this news would make them feel helpless. There was nothing they could do.
If she told her parents, they’d insist she bring the children to Florida until she decided what to do next. If she did that, she’d never leave. She couldn’t use them as a crutch. She wanted to grow spiritually. She’d never do that if she let her parents take care of her. What example would that be for her children?
“I’m sorry, Belle.” He looked crestfallen.
“It’s funny,” she said, marveling at the ease that flowed through her chest. “All afternoon, I tried to keep busy so I wouldn’t think about what happened. Sharing this with you is the release I needed.”
“Good,” he said with a dry laugh. “If you need to talk about this or anything, please know I’m a phone call away.”
She opened her mouth to protest.
“As a friend.” He lifted his hand and touched a finger to her lips. “We’re allowed to have friends.”
“Thank you.” She relaxed in his arms.
His hand slid up the back of her neck, his fingers tangling with her hair. He pressed her head to his chest.
She closed her eyes, relishing the steady beat of his heart.
“Mom.” Lyle burst into the kitchen.
Her head came up. Kelsey stood next to him, her mouth falling open.
“What is it?” Belle stepped from Aaron. Her cheeks caught fire. Aaron’s arms slipping from her made her set her teeth. “Aaron and I were just talking.”
It pained her to give her children a vague excuse. They weren’t dumb—they could see Aaron held her and that she loved and needed his comfort—but she’d explain everything to them later, including that she lost her job. She hated burdening them with such things, but she couldn’t protect them from the cares of the world. Their help had to come from their faith.
“We set up the game.” Lyle’s hesitant gaze shifted from Belle to Aaron.
Thankfully, Kelsey had closed her mouth.
“That’s perfect timing.” Belle picked up the dishtowel Aaron had dropped on the counter and wrapped it over the oven’s handle. “We’ve cleaned the kitchen, so we’re ready to play a game.”
She moved to the door. With her hands on Lyle’s shoulders, she turned him to the dining room and guided him out of the kitchen. Kelsey walked by her side. They took their seats at the table.
“You go first, Mom.” Lyle set the dice in front of her. “Then we’ll move clockwise around the table.”
Belle looked at him, thanking God for the mature young man he was becoming.
“Thank you,” she murmured. She shook the dice in her hand and watched the cubes scatter over the tabletop.
She’d come a long way. God had blessed her. She had what she wanted—her children and her faith.
The void in her made her wish Aaron would be part of her future, but she was grateful for the strides she’d taken. She hadn’t turned to her parents for help. She’d trusted God.
As for Aaron? Who knew what God had in store for him and her? She only knew that God wasn’t finished with her yet.