Chapter 13
Google: Can I Have Sex on a Hay Bale?
Twenty-one Days Until I Have to Go Back to Work
It’s been two days since Selleck was born, and Jamie and I agreed to take turns watching him. Tonight’s my first shift. I’ve set alarms for every two hours. It’s midnight now—my second check-in. I won’t get any sleep for maybe the next week, but maybe that’s good practice if I ever do have kids.
I peer into the stall, and my breath hitches.
Jamie is sitting on a pile of golden hay, cowboy hat dropped over his face. On his lap is baby Selleck, who’s curled up on the fluffy green blanket that was lying over Jamie’s sectional just three nights ago. Arrietty's head is on Jamie’s forearm, and she’s snoring softly.
I snap a picture, then stare at this perfect scene.
Jamie isn’t shirtless, but this will definitely get social media traction. I’ll reach out to the web designer we used at Manhattan Vet Clinic to see if she can work some magic here.
“You staring at me, Doc?” Jamie says, cowboy hat still dipped low.
“Sorry, I was trying to be quiet.”
“Don’t be. I was waiting for you.” He gently settles Selleck next to his mom, then walks over to me.
“Why?”
“Come on.” He takes my hand and leads me toward the small office tucked into the back corner of the barn—the one I’ve barely spent any time in. The door groans open, spilling a slice of golden light across the hay-dusted floor.
Before I can ask what we’re doing, he snags a lunch bag off the spotless desk and heads to the far wall.
That’s when I notice it: a narrow wooden ladder bolted to the beams, half-hidden behind a rack of harnesses and thick blankets.
He tugs it free, the rungs squeaking in protest, and flashes me that boyish grin that makes rational thought temporarily impossible.
“Where does that go?” I ask.
“Afraid of heights?” he teases, already halfway up, the bag slung over one broad shoulder.
“Afraid of falling to my death at midnight? Yes.”
“You’ll be safe,” he promises, glancing down at me. “I got you.”
Fuck it.
I grip the rung and follow him up, the wood cool beneath my palms. When I reach the top, Jamie wraps his arm around my lower back and helps me over the ledge.
The loft is open, scattered with old boxes at one end, and at the other end, under a massive skylight, lie scattered cushions on a pile of blankets with tiny electric candles surrounding them.
“What is this?”
“Come see.” He walks me over and opens his bag. “Wine or hot cocoa?”
“Cocoa first.” I grin, and he hands me a cup, then serves me some cocoa from an oversized green thermos.
“Can’t forget your favorite part.” He sprinkles marshmallows on top.
“Not that I don’t love this, but what’s it for?”
“I gotta have a reason for doing something nice for you?”
“No.”
Jamie is a natural caregiver—the homemade dinners, volunteering at his girls’ school, cuddling up with the new calf…
Kiki and Honey are sure to have a life filled with love.
I want this.
“Look up.” He tilts my chin toward the skylight.
My mouth drops open at the view of the night sky above, where green ribbons of light slither, impossibly bright, against the stars.
“The northern lights,” I gasp, transfixed.
“Heard there was a chance they were going to show tonight. I was worried we might miss them, but of course you were right on time.”
“This is…” I’m speechless. I may cry again. “This is the nicest date someone’s planned for me.”
“You deserve it, Joy.” He pulls me back, taking my hot cocoa and laying me back to stare up at the night sky with him.
In New York, you’re lucky to see a handful of stars through the light pollution. But here? It’s like the entire universe has opened up just for us.
We watch in silence, and I’m acutely aware of every point where our bodies touch. The solid weight of him beside me.
“I had this Havanese patient, black and white, the sassiest little thing you’ve ever seen. She’d only let me examine her if I sang the nursery rhyme ‘The Man in the Moon.’”
“You sang to a dog?”
“Every single checkup.” I’m grinning now.
“And this Maine Coon, a massive gray guy named Mr. Aurora Catalis.” I chuckle.
“Who absolutely hated everyone except his owner. Would hiss and swipe at the techs, but the second this seventy-year-old man walked in, the cat would just melt into a purring puddle.”
Jamie props his head up on his elbow, watching me. “That’s why you do it, huh? The animals.”
“Yeah.” The admission comes easier than expected. “They’re honest. They don’t pretend. If they’re scared, they show it. If they love you, they show that too.”
“Reminds me of Kiki and Honey.”
“Tell me some stories about them?” I ask, and he does.
He tells me about when they were newborns and both had colic and how Kiki never crawled, just butt-scooted around the house.
The lights disappear from the sky, flickering in and out.
Jamie’s arm is wrapped around me when he chuckles.
“The girls pulled this scheme on me last year. Switched places for two entire days. Wore each other’s clothes, did each other’s hair.
I didn’t figure it out until Kiki—pretending to be Honey—asked for pepperoni pizza.
Honey’s been vegetarian since she was six. ”
I laugh. “That’s diabolical.”
“They were so proud of themselves.” His smile is pure affection. “But I got them back. Started giving them tooth fairy money in a thousand pennies. Took them forever to count it.”
“That’s really beautiful, Jamie.”
“I just want them to feel loved.” He meets my eyes. “Even when things are hard and I can’t always afford to buy them new winter coats. Even when I screw up. I want them to know they’re loved.”
“They do.” I say it with certainty. “Trust me. They absolutely do.”
My body wants a replay of two mornings ago. I bite my lip, staring at him. He stares back.
“You know what I’ve been thinking about?” There is a glint of passion in his eyes.
“What?”
“All the things I want to do to you.” His voice drops lower, rougher. “All the ways I want to make you fall apart.”
Instantly, curiosity tingles in my body. “Like what?”
“I liked it when you wrapped my hand around your throat.”
“Yeah?”
His eyes flare with lust. “I’ve always wanted to be a little rough but never knew how. You just let me take control.”
“It makes me stay present.”
He climbs above me. Behind him, leftover glints of green shimmer along his handsome face. I reach up to stroke his jaw, but he catches my wrist and shakes his head.
“That’s the thing, Joy. You’ve been in control all day. Making decisions. Being a competent, brilliant surgeon. I think you need a break, huh?”
The idea makes me instantly wet. It’s what happened last time we had sex: I got to shut off my brain.
“I do,” I answer, and it’s all the confirmation he needs.
“Take this off.” He removes my sweater. “No bra.” He tsks.
“I wasn’t planning—”
He kisses me, nipping on my lower lip. “No explanations.” I want nothing more than for him to be inside of me, but I have a feeling he’s going to drag this out. “Next, these.”
I slip off my sweats, ass bare against the blankets. Even though the barn is heated, the window above has a small draft that runs across my flushed cheeks.
I’m completely naked under him. “Now what?”
He pushes two fingers inside me without warning, and I moan. I was expecting slow, but the immediate pressure is welcome. “Right now, you’re going to let go. You’re going to be a good girl and take what I give you. Aren’t you?”
“Yes,” I breathe, digging my hands into the blanket under me, resisting the urge to reach for his dick. I know he won’t give it to me yet.
“Yes, what?”
“Yes, sir.”
The word slips out before I can think. He slaps my pussy, and I jolt under the pleasure.
“Fuck,” he mutters. “Say that again.”
“Yes, sir.”
“Did you come to this barn tonight without underwear because you knew you wanted me to fuck you?”
“No.”
He removes his fingers, and I gasp from the lack of friction. “Liar.” He licks me off his middle digit, and it’s so hot that I can feel myself getting wetter. “Tell me the truth. Good girls get rewards.”
“Yes.”
“Yes?”
“I came over here because I needed you.”
“My filthy, filthy girl.” He chuckles, stripping off his shirt, unbuckling his pants, and dragging out his cock. My mouth waters. “You’ve been so good that I have to make sure to reward you.”
“Please.” I’m aching now.
“You want me inside this pretty pussy?” The swollen head of his length rubs against my slick entrance.
“Jamie. I need you, please—”
“Please what?”
“Please fuck me.”
“Not good enough.” His hand fists my hair, pulling my head back gently onto the pillow. “Beg for it properly.”
Heat floods my face, but it’s not embarrassment—it’s arousal so intense I’m lost to everything but pleasure.
“Please, sir,” I gasp. “Please fuck me. I need it. I need you inside me.”
He draws a line across my lips, coaxing me open, and lets me taste the salt of his skin. “Don’t you taste so good.”
“I do,” I say, and he lets out a deep chuckle.
Suddenly, he thrusts inside me. Not slow like last time, but so fast I yelp, and he covers my mouth with his hand. The walls of my cunt hum around him.
“You can’t be loud. You’ll wake the whole town.”
I blink up at him, nodding as I moan into his palm, adjusting to the size of him.
He slams into me, and I cry out, making incoherent noises—from pleasure, from the stretch, from the sheer intensity of it.
“This what you needed?” He pulls almost all the way out, then drives back in. “Needed someone to fuck you like this? Make you take it?”
“Yes. God, yes—”
I’m so close, already so close. It’s the lack of oxygen, the way he moves, and his punishing hold on me.
“Don’t you dare come yet,” he warns. “Not until I say.”
“I can’t—I’m already—”
He slows down, pulling back until he’s barely inside me. I try to angle myself to take what I need, but he empties me completely. “What did I just say?”
A frustrated sound tears from my throat. “Please—”
“Please what?”
“Please let me come.”