Chapter 13 #2
“Not yet. I want you desperate for it first.”
“I’m desperate, sir.” I place his palms over my breasts.
He fucks me shallow at first, just a couple of inches, each thrust precise and hitting me right in that sweet spot. Next, he flips me over so I’m on my knees in front of him. He wraps one hand around my throat and the other gently tugs on my bob.
“Look at you,” he murmurs, almost reverently. “So fucking perfect like this. Taking my cock so well. You want your ass slapped, Doctor?”
“Yes.”
His palm smooths over my ass, then delivers a sharp thwack that makes me gasp.
“God, I love seeing you marked by me.”
I moan, thrusting my hips back, loving this angle. I can take him deeper, so deep.
“Jamie—”
“You want to come?”
“Please. Please, please, pl—”
“Reach back. Touch yourself.”
My fingers immediately find my clit, and the added stimulation makes me see stars.
“That’s it,” he encourages, thrusting harder now. “Make yourself come on my cock. Show me how needy you are.”
I work my clit frantically, and the orgasm builds fast—too fast—cresting like a wave about to break. My vision bursts into Technicolor, mixing with the stars and the northern lights swirling above us.
“Jamie—I’m—”
“Do it. Come for me. Let me feel it.”
I shatter, crying out into the blanket, my whole body convulsing. He doesn’t slow down, fucking me through it, prolonging it until I’m shaking and oversensitive.
Then he pulls out suddenly, and I make a sound of protest.
“On your back,” he commands.
I flip over clumsily, boneless and spent, and he’s right above me—kneeling between my legs, stroking himself.
“Open your mouth.”
I do, and he leans forward, positioning himself over me.
“You know what I want to do?” he asks, hoarsely. “I want to come all over those pretty tits. Mark you up. Would you like that?”
“Yes,” I gasp. “Please—”
But he doesn’t. Instead, he pushes back inside me, and we both groan at the sensation.
“Changed my mind,” he says, bracing himself on his forearms so we’re face-to-face. “Want to see your eyes when I fill you up. Want you to know who’s making you feel this good.”
The angle’s different now, the position more intimate.
“You’re so fucking tight,” he groans against my mouth. “Squeezing me so perfect—”
I wrap my legs around his waist, pulling him deeper. “I want you to come inside me,” I whisper. “Want to feel it.”
His rhythm falters. “Jesus, Joy—”
“Do it,” I urge, nails raking down his back. “Fill me up. Make me yours.”
He thrusts hard three more times, then goes rigid, burying himself deep as he comes. I feel the pulse of it, hot and wet inside me, and it triggers another small orgasm that has me clenching around him.
“Fuck,” he breathes, collapsing on top of me. “Fuck, that was—”
We lie there, tangled together, both of us panting and sweaty. Through the skylight, the stars keep watching, indifferent to the earth-shattering things that just happened beneath them.
After a while, Jamie rolls to the side, pulling me with him, so we’re facing each other.
“So,” he says, grinning lazily. “How was the view?”
I laugh, surprised I still can. I feel drained and happy. “Which view? The stars or…”
“Either. Both.”
“The stars were nice. But I was a little distracted.”
“Yeah? By what?”
I flutter my eyelashes at him before I tuck my face into his chest. “By you telling me what to do. I liked it. A lot.”
“I noticed.” He strokes my hair. “You surprised me. Calling me sir.”
“Too much?”
“The opposite.” He holds me tighter in his arms, kissing me soft and sweet. “Did you like that I made you wait?”
“Yes.” The admission feels vulnerable somehow. “I liked…not being in control. Not having to think.”
“What else do you like?”
The question hangs between us, loaded with possibility.
“I don’t know,” I admit. “I’ve never really explored this stuff. Parker was very vanilla.”
“Vanilla’s not bad.”
“No. But this?” I gesture between us. “This is better. Natural. Makes me stay out of my head.”
“We could explore more,” he suggests carefully. “If you want. Find out what you like. What makes you feel good.”
“What do you like?”
He’s quiet for a moment. “Honestly? I like being in charge. Making you beg for it. Hearing you call me sir.” He pauses. “But I also like this. After. Holding you. Making sure you’re okay.”
“I’m more than okay.” I snuggle closer, feeling brave. “I like it when you’re rough with me. When you pull my hair. When you tell me I’m taking your cock so well.”
He makes a strangled sound. “You can’t just say things like that.”
“Why not?”
“Because I’m going to get hard again, and I think we’ve traumatized the reindeer enough for one night.”
I laugh, glancing toward the barn below, where Arrietty and the others are presumably sleeping. “You think they heard?”
“Oh, they definitely heard. We’re going to have some explaining to do in the morning.”
The thought should embarrass me, but it doesn’t. Nothing about this feels shameful, just right in a way I’ve never experienced.
“Jamie?”
“Yeah?”
“Thank you.”
“For the mind-blowing sex?” He grins. “You’re welcome.”
“No. Well, yes. But also—” I struggle to find the right words. “For making me feel safe enough to let go. I’ve never done that before.”
His expression softens. “You can always let go with me, Joy. I’ve got you.”
“This is starting to feel less casual to me,” I whisper against Jamie’s chest, my fingers tangled in the coarse hair there.
“It is.”
“How do you feel about that?” I bite the inside of my cheek, bracing for his answer.
He exhales in a deep rumble that I feel against my ear. “Honestly? I told myself I wouldn’t get serious with someone who was leaving. But maybe…maybe that’s not how this works.”
“What do you mean?”
“Can I ask you something?”
I nod, my eyes closed.
“At Grandpa’s Basement, you said your ex cheated.” He pauses. “I keep thinking, how could someone cheat on you? You’re brilliant. Funny. Sexy as hell. So why were you okay settling for him?”
If I were Jubilee, I’d faint from that kind of directness. Instead, I force myself to answer.
“I never really let anyone in. Not fully.” My voice is barely a whisper. “My dad left my mom with nothing after the divorce. No career, no safety net. Just bitterness. She’s happy now—remarried—but watching her, I decided love would never be the thing I relied on.”
I swallow hard. “So, the guys I dated were just…proof I was trying. Because I want a family someday. But I didn’t care enough about any of them to risk getting hurt. Even Parker. I was mad when he cheated, but I wasn’t wrecked. Because I’d never actually given him that part of me.”
Jamie’s hand stills on my arm.
“But now…” My throat tightens. “I’m realizing that’s not normal. That’s just me being afraid. And the scary part is that I don’t want to settle anymore. Which means someday I might actually get hurt.”
“I get that.” His voice is pained. “Tessa and I barely started our adult life together, and then she was just…gone. For years I thought, why would I ever put myself through that again? Why risk it?” He shifts, draping a blanket over us.
“But I survived it. I can survive loss. What I can’t survive is never letting myself try again. Because I miss this. This feeling.”
“It’s scary,” I whisper.
“Terrifying,” he agrees.
But neither of us pulls away.
Silence settles over us. Comfortable, weighted with truth. Then Jamie breaks it with a question that sounds deliberately casual.
“You wanna come to Christmas? At my place?”
My heart stutters. “Yeah?”
“The girls will force you to watch them open every single present. Winnie’s gifts are always pranks.
My mom will corner you and ask your entire life story.
Fair warning, she’s relentless. Dad will love you if you ask about the Mariners.
” He grins against my hair. “But I make a mean green bean casserole. And a wild blueberry pie that’ll ruin all other pies for you. ”
“I’d love to.”
No overthinking. No hedging. Just yes.
“You hungry?” He shifts to look down at me, and I realize I love this, how we can talk about terrifying things and then slide right back into easy ones.
“Starving.”
“Come on.” He kisses along my collarbones. “I made garlic cheddar monkey bread and white bean soup. I can heat some up.”
I sit up, tugging his shirt over my head. “Do you deliver to New York?”
“No, but maybe I can visit next month. See your place.” He’s teasing, but there’s something hopeful underneath.
I laugh. “Technically, I don’t have an apartment. Still need to find one.”
“You could stay here. As long as you want.”
The words should feel premature, but they open a door to something inside me, and I’m not sure I’ll ever want it to close.
“Jamie—”
“I’m not saying move in.” He cups my face. “I’m just saying…don’t leave because you think you have to. Leave when you’re ready. If you’re ready.”
My breath catches. “And if I’m not? Ready to leave?”
His smile is slow and devastating. “Then I guess you’re stuck with me, Doc.”