26. Cora
Cora
We return from the gardens to find the castle full of activity and motion.
“You meant it,” I say, my voice coming out faint and soft. “You meant you were leaving now.”
“I did not mean you would need to ride with us,” Prince Jasper reassures me. “My brother and I will depart, and you will follow with your companion in a more comfortable carriage. That way, you will have time to relax and talk, and we will be there to meet you when we arrive.”
“But I don’t—” I am about to say that I would rather ride with them, but I know right away that it would be a mistake.
To be in a carriage with both men for any amount of time would be overwhelming to say the least, and I owe it to myself to think clearly about my situation.
Moreover, I need time to think. I owe it to myself to make a careful decision.
“Which companion did you imagine I would bring?”
“Isabel,” Prince Jasper says. “I sent for her last evening. I did not know how you would take the news of my brother’s identity.
If you took it poorly, I wanted you to have someone here with you that you could trust. If you took it well, then perhaps I could invite you to the castle.
But I would not insist that you come alone.
I am not ashamed of my brother or his scars, and I would not want you to think that your life would be isolated to hide anything.
All of your people would be welcome to visit as often as they wanted. ”
“You mean to give me everything, is that it?” I am teasing, but the words come out with more truth than I intended.
“I do,” he promises. “You don’t know what you’ve done for my brother and for me.
We truly care for you and would have your hand.
And now I shall leave you to make your decision.
Please, Princess, do not feel as if you must agree on my account.
You may take all the time you wish. I will not hurry you. ”
Then he takes my hand in his and kisses my knuckles. It is so chaste compared to all the times he has taken me, yet it fills me with desire and lust and many other emotions besides.
“Thank you,” I tell him sincerely. “I am grateful to you, Prince Jasper.”
“You cannot be more grateful to me than I am to you,” he says.
“It was a pleasure to meet you, Princess Cora. I hope to see you soon, but if I do not, then I wish you all the happiness life has to offer.” He struggles to remain cordial as the thought of me not following causes his expression to crumble.
He leaves me then on the bench outside, disappearing into the flurry of packing and preparation. His brother, Prince Casen, must already be prepared to leave. I worry briefly that I offended him with my reaction, and wish that I was left time to make amends.
Clicking of heels alerts me to my incoming friend and I do my best to stop any emotion from bubbling up any more than it already has.
Isabel comes to my side. “You received the invitation from the prince?”
“I have,” I agree, attempting to compose myself after the weight of what Prince Jasper has delivered. “And so have you?”
“Yes,” she says, her eyes bright. “It was so thrilling to receive such a message, with so little information, but of course I had to be here with you, Cora.”
My sweet friend grabs my arm with both of her hands, delight and excitement pure.
“This is what happened before Philip proposed,” she exclaims. Happiness of the memories of love dance in her eyes.
She smiles. “I feel like I owe myself a bit of a pat on the back, do I not? For you weren’t giving any of the gentlemen the time of day until I had it out with you.
” If only she knew how much time I’d given one of them…
“I’m truly sorry—” I start but she cuts me off.
“Hush hush, it’s behind us and I know the stress of falling in love. Either way, when I was asked to be your chaperone, of course I could not help but agree. What do you think you’ll do? I don’t want to tell you what to do, but I feel like you should go,” Isabel blurts out.
She takes both my hands in hers, and I realize I’m shaking. Perhaps there was some truth to my father’s words earlier. This is happening fast. But then, in other ways, it’s not. In ways no one can know, I’ve already fallen.
“I’ll go. We will go.” Confidence fills me. So much that what lies ahead may be new and frightening, but this is my only chance to see what this life could be like. “The prince and his brother…they are taking a separate carriage. I do not want to fall far behind.”
It seems the steward in the castle had already been preparing for a relatively quick departure.
Isabel herself had brought along a few trunks of items to travel, and my things are packed in the snap of a finger.
I worry that it is not enough, but surely the prince—the princes—intend to provide for me while I am in their care, and I know my father would not hesitate to send anything I lacked.
All the while my heart races. As if it knows forevermore nothing will be the same again. Isabel holds my hand tightly and I hold hers, wishing the simple act could tell her all my secrets.
My father wishes me farewell, kissing my forehead and holding me in a tight embrace before finally letting me go.
“You have my blessings, Cora,” he promises. “I want nothing but your happiness.”
My throat goes tight with emotion. I love him dearly, even if the past years I’ve seen nothing but sadness in his gaze. “Your mother would do the same. She would be better at this,” he admits.
“I’m glad to have your blessing, Father,” I say, surprised to find tears coming to my eyes. “I miss her. I wish she were here for this moment and what’s to come.”
“As do I,” he says and his eyes go glassy. “But she would want nothing more than for you to be happy. And thankfully you’ve been picky just enough,” he attempts to joke and the small laugh that bubbles from me is proof the humor was required to lighten the mood.
“Are you sure you wish to go? Are you sure he…and his family and kingdom will suit you?”
“We will find out,” I answer him honestly.
“Do not be afraid to come home. You are my daughter and I will always love you as you are,” he says, and there’s a seriousness there that tells me he may know I’ve been taken by the prince or perhaps he has a feeling such has happened.
“And I love you,” I tell him. “I will see you soon. And I will write!”
He laughs and touches my cheek, then it is time to climb into the carriage and follow after the princes.
With a long exhale, I take my leave, knowing when I return, I may be planning my wedding.
My father’s squire opens the door for us and surely he will be the one to take us to this new kingdom.
Perhaps, a kingdom that will join my own.
Isabel and I wave to the Blanche and Alice who gathered to see us off.
They clutch each other’s hands and call goodbyes.
I try to promise them that I will bring them with me, if I am to move households, but there is not enough time, so instead I promise to speak to them soon.
Inside the carriage, we’re provided with a small basket in case of hunger or thirst. Pastries, a bottle of wine, and goblets.
We’re quiet as the countryside around the castle rolls past us. As soon as it is out of sight, Isabel turns her gaze on me, her eyes wide.
“I must know more, Cora,” she demands. “It has been…what, four days, and already he is whisking you away? I did not think you would be willing! All those other suitors, and you did not seem to show any interest at all. It’s quite a difference.
” The horse clopping and the sound of my racing heart compete with one another as I look my lifelong friend and confidant in the eyes and know I must come clean.
Even at the cost of risking everything. I don’t know if she’ll understand but I pray she will still love me regardless and keep my secrets.
And that she doesn’t judge the princes too harshly either.
“I know it seems like a change of heart since I’ve seen you last.” I hide my face in my hands and gather my thoughts, then face her again. “The truth is…things began the night of the ball.”
“I knew it,” Isabel says, looking pleased with herself. A smirk brings her lips up. “I knew something was different about you that night. Had he sent word of his interest? Did he write to you in secret?”
As if it was that civil…
“No,” I admit and swallow thickly. “I saw a shadow watching from the balcony above the ballroom. Once I noticed him, I could not stop looking for him. I’m used to being watched by the guards, of course, but this was different.
I felt his eyes on me all night. I could not pay attention to my dancing partners. ”
Isabel’s brow furrows in mock confusion. “Just as well, as those men do nothing but talk over you!” The carriage jostles over the rough terrain for a moment but I continue, afraid that if I don’t, the truth will never spill.
“They did,” I agree, laughing a little. “It seemed they barely saw me at all. But he—this strange man in the shadows—he did see me. So after my father closed the ball…”
Isabel gasps as if she knows what I am about to say next. “You went to him?”
“I pretended to go to my rooms, but I stole away. I thought he might still be in the balcony above the ballroom, and I was right. But he had gone down a passageway to another balcony, which was outside, but he stayed in the shadows. He did not say a single word, and I could not stop talking. I admitted that I did not want a husband who would attempt to control every move I made. I admitted…that I wouldn’t mind if my husband controlled me in bed. ”
Isabel covers her mouth. “You did not.” Her eyes are wide but more with shock than judgment. “Cora,” she stresses and then lowers her voice, “tell me this isn’t true. Have you told anyone else?”
I shake my head so she’s assured I haven’t told anyone. “It’s true and it is secret. I’ve never been so bold. I began to say more, but when I turned around, he was gone.”