Chapter 7
CHAPTER SEVEN
ASHER
S he denied me. The sting of rejection pierces deeper than I anticipated, leaving me raw and aching. I shouldn’t be surprised, yet the hurt lingers, a stark reminder of my irrationalities. I have no right to feel this way, especially after the spectacle I made earlier. I crossed lines that shouldn’t have even been approached, let alone breached. I forgot who I am and acted like a bloody idiot.
My hands, trembling with a mix of anger and regret, clutch the short strands of my ebony hair, pulling slightly as if the physical pain might distract from the emotional turmoil churning inside me. I pace the length of my room, each step echoing the tumult in my heart.
Gods, I know better. Centuries of restraint, of reining in my emotions in the face of all challenges, and yet mere minutes with Isla unravels me completely. It’s as if her presence resets all I know, all I’ve disciplined myself to be. Despite this, or perhaps because of it, I know one immutable truth: this woman is the most important thing in all the worlds to me .
Acknowledging this only sharpens the guilt. The instant I confirmed it was truly Isobella standing before me, not some imposter seeking to usurp my throne, I should have enveloped her in the reverence she deserves.
Instead, I let my anger cloud my judgment, and I unleashed it upon her—a royal blunder. Isobella, the woman whose soul now resides in Isla, never tolerated my darker moods. Why would Isla accept them now?
A deep, cleansing breath fills my lungs as I force myself to pause, to reflect, to acknowledge my mistakes. The panoramic window in my bedroom offers a view of the sea turning ink-black under the night sky, its depths mirroring the disorder I feel.
“Tomorrow will be different,” I vow to the reflection in the glass. “I will apologize, and whether or not she forgives me, I need to at least try to understand her struggle.”
Hell, she doesn’t even know who she truly is. Her wolf must be miserable, trapped within that human body. Unless Isla knows what she is and just hasn’t revealed her true self to me.
I’m tempted to show her my wolf first, but maybe I should wait until she doesn’t hate me nearly as much as she does now.
A soft knock at the door pulls me from my thoughts, and I brace myself as Malimorte, my trusted advisor, enters. His golden eyes meet mine, carrying a weight of unspoken words. His habitual stroke of his auburn goatee signals unease, a prelude to unwelcome news.
“What is it, Mali?” I ask, shoving my hands into the pockets of my slacks as I face him from across the room.
“Princess Isla had dinner with Grayson tonight, Your Majesty,” he reports with a neutral tone, his gaze steady. “And your father awaits outside. He refuses to leave without speaking with you.”
My father. The man whom I’ve always trusted above all others…except I haven’t gone to him about Isobella’s, I mean Isla’s—I’ve asked others to address her with her new name, yet I can barely manage the task—return to Polaris. He wished for me to take a chosen mate, one who would at least produce an heir for our kingdom, but I never could. Something I know disappointed him.
Now, I expect him to question every aspect of my mate’s return, infuriating me—and I’m not ready for that. I need to find my composure again, not be even more riled up.
“And your mother is with him, Your Majesty,” Malimorte adds, adjusting the lapels of his royal-blue vest over the white, long-sleeved collared shirt, his choice of attire while on duty.
Though I’m not sure I’ve ever seen him not working. I know he takes time away from the castle at least once a week. Yet the man is elusive, keeping his thoughts and feelings private and sticking to the shadows. Almost in a meek way, but my wolf senses Mali’s strength and that’s enough for me, even if others don’t always agree.
I know Malimorte would die for those he cares about and after two hundred years as my advisor, I have no doubt that I’m one of those people.
“Send them in,” I instruct, turning toward the bar cart to prepare three drinks. Intuition tells me this will be a night for strong spirits.
He disappears back out the door without another word to me and I take the tray of drinks to the sitting area of my master suite. The front area of my living quarters consists of a large, rock fireplace, two couches, a desk for me to work at when I don’t feel like being bothered, and a sitting area where I normally have dinner by myself. Also, where I sit now, waiting for my parents to enter.
I position my mother’s wine and my father’s whiskey on the table, nearest to the two seats across from me before taking a long drink of ice-cold water. Much to my father’s dismay, I’ve never been a fan of his aged whiskeys, or any alcohol, for that matter. The bar cart I keep stocked is merely for guests.
When my parents enter, I rise from my chair and smile at the two people who gave me life. “Mother, Father.” I nod, stepping forward as my mother’s arms spread out and her light blue eyes fill with love and concern.
I settle into her embrace, the familiar scent of lavender and sage enveloping me, momentarily comforting. “I’m glad to see you’re doing well, considering.”
“Considering what?” I query, my head tilting in a mix of confusion and apprehension as they exchange a loaded glance.
“Well, there’s been talk. Isobella is here to reject you,” she says, her voice a soft blow to my already fragile state. The mere suggestion jolts through me like a physical assault, confirming my deepest fears.
Isla doesn’t want me and I only have four weeks to salvage the connection that once defined us. My wolf bristles at the thought, a primal reminder of what’s at stake. We’ve weathered her absence before; the notion of enduring it again is unbearable yet unavoidable.
“That’s not accurate,” I say calmly. “Isobella has been reborn and her name is now Isla. She doesn’t recall her time here and, from my understanding of the situation, believes that she is human.”
My father’s dark-cobalt eyes widen beneath his greying brows. “I know I had my suspicions, but to know that she actually chose to forget you… It’s shameful. When does she leave? We must consult the gods about finding you a new mate.”
My jaw tightens and fists clench, anger and defiance stiffening my posture. “I’ve told you too many times to count, I don’t want a new mate, Father. Isla is still mine, and she’s not leaving.”
He starts to protest, but I cut him off. Composure is a luxury I can’t afford at the moment. “You heard wrong,” I state firmly.
Mother’s hand presses gently against my chest, her touch a balm to my simmering fury. “It’s okay, Son.” She then addresses my father. “Gideon, I warned you.”
Now, I understand why my mother is here.
“Don’t Gideon me, Sosheena.” He stands taller, like the king he once was. “We’ve known for centuries now that Isobella abandoned our son. Why am I the only one who is capable of accepting this and who is ready to move on already?”
I roar, unable to contain the beast of my anger. “She didn’t abandon me!” I take a step back, distancing myself from my mother’s presence. “Just because Isla doesn’t remember doesn’t mean it was her choice. Something must have gone wrong. Why else wouldn’t she have been reborn on Lunara?”
My father shakes his head and lowers his voice. “Not in a millennium have I ever once heard of a reincarnation going ‘wrong.’ I’m not trying to hurt you, Asher. I’m trying to protect you. Why must you fight me on this after all this time?”
“She is mine , Father,” I seethe, staying several feet away from him. “And I am hers. I always have been. I don’t care what you think you know or what anyone else has told you—my mate didn’t choose to leave me. I know that more than anything else in this world.”
Now, if only I’d remembered that when she first arrived, this situation wouldn’t be as screwed up as it seems to have become.
My father holds his hands up in surrender. “I’m sorry, Son. For all of it. I didn’t realize that’s how you perceived my opinion of Isobella.”
“Call her ‘Isla,’” I insist, seeking at least this small concession.
“Isla,” he agrees, nodding. “I can do that, but more importantly, I need you to know that I would have loved nothing more than for centuries of happiness between the two of you. You shared a love that was stronger than anything I’ve ever seen between two wolves so young. Anything I may have ever said was done so out of love and protection for not only you, but our kingdom.”
I can’t deny the truth in his voice. I know he’s always had my best interest at heart. Yet I’ve allowed myself to believe that’s been true with everything other than my mate, considering how many times he’s wished for me to replace her, as if that would be an easy feat.
Maybe I owe him an apology as well. There’s a reason I’ve avoided my father since yesterday and realizing that it has nothing to do with him and everything to do with me is almost paralyzing.
I’m so terrified of losing Isla again that the thought of speaking with anyone who would question our bond, even if for my own benefit… I just couldn’t do it.
Instead, I’ve stood by as rumors have clearly begun to take root and hid away, trying to force everything to be fine when in all honesty, we’re so far from fine that it’s not even funny.
“I hear you, Dad,” I tell him more calmly. “But you need to give Isla time. What’s being said isn’t true. She just needs time to understand. She’s agreed to stay for at least four weeks.”
He raises a brow and grins, instantly lightening the mood within the room. “If you hadn’t been avoiding me since she arrived, I might not have needed to count on the gossip mill of our staff to learn what’s what.”
I chuckle despite myself. He’s not wrong.
As my mother takes a robust sip of wine and sets the glass down with a determined clink, she declares, “Well, it seems I’ve done my job and the two of you are going to talk like civilized beings. I’m off, then.” Her tone is light, but there’s an undercurrent of firmness in it.
Dad’s voice rumbles with a mix of jest and real concern. “And where does my mate think she’s going?” He’s never quite gotten over his old-fashioned belief that she should be within his line of sight at all times.
With a playful flourish, she blows him a kiss. “Wherever she likes, darling. But don’t worry, I’ll still be within the castle’s walls. You might just have to hunt a little harder to find me later.” Her voice carries the melody of their lifelong dance, a mix of independence and affection.
I watch her exit, the lightness of her steps contrasting sharply with the heaviness in my chest. I ache for the easy exchanges I once shared with my own mate. I miss Isobella and as much as I’m trying to respect this new version of her by calling her ‘Isla,’ I don’t know how long I’ll be able to handle having her so close yet so far away from me.
“Sit with me, Son.” Dad settles into the plush couch with his whiskey in hand. I can’t bring myself to sit; instead, I find myself tending to the remnants of the evening’s fire, poking at the embers that are dying out, much like my hope.
“Tell me everything that’s happened since Isla arrived,” he begins, seeming to try to bridge the chasm of my reserve. “I heard she appeared quite disoriented at the portal while Cain was present.”
Without looking at him, I nod and keep focused on the charred logs. “That’s right. Then he brought her to me per my request and I might have let my fury shine more than anything else, sending her to her room and not checking on her until earlier this evening.”
I glance at him and I’m surprised to see both of his brows raised. “I see. No wonder people are saying she wants nothing to do with you and that she’s demanding to return to Earth. How have you convinced her to stay, as you mentioned earlier?”
My face twists involuntarily at the memory. “I sought out Grayson, hoping he might sway her. But even his presence couldn’t deter her desire to leave. In desperation, I…” I hesitate, the words tasting bitter, “I used his lack of wellbeing as leverage to keep her here for a moon cycle.”
He gasps, dropping his glass onto the coffee table in front of him. “Asher Josiah Cromwell, you did no such thing. ”
“I know it was wrong,” I tell him, finally meeting his stare properly. “Hell, it’s the worst thing I’ve ever done, but she was going to leave me, Dad. Without answers. After all this time, I was desperate to make her stay no matter the cost.”
“And what has it cost you ?” His voice is tinged with a mix of worry and curiosity.
“She declined dinner with me tonight, so I’m certain she hates me, but I’d rather her be here hating me than back on Earth, pretending I don’t exist.”
My father gets up and comes to stand at my side. His firm grip clasps my shoulder and he smiles at me. “You love her as fiercely as ever—that much is clear.”
“That hasn’t changed, nor will it,” I affirm, my resolve hardening.
His grin only widens. “Then, no matter what people say or think, we’re going to find a way to make her see this is where she belongs. You don’t have to be alone in this, Asher. I may have given you the crown early, but I’ve always been there for you and my health isn’t going to get in the way of continuing to do so now.”
His health. I snort to myself. He thought he was dying, but his only issues, even all these years later, are a bum knee and a heart that beats a little faster than normal.
I’m certain he was just tired of his reign and I can’t blame him. Thankfully, he’s right. He’s been there, helping me every step of the way, ensuring our kingdom stays strong and united.
“Have you told Noen or Declan yet?” he asks, the question making my tension return.
Noen and Declan, my two closest friends and also royal delegates. They’ve been away, working on a trade deal with Selaris on my behalf. I’ve been tempted to send word to them a dozen times. Yet…I haven’t forgotten that I once believed Noen had an interest in my mate. I swore I was past that, but now that she’s here, I can’t help wanting him nowhere near her.
Petty, yes, but if I’m going to turn things around with this situation, I have to at least be honest with myself.
“No, you’re the first person I’ve really spoken to.”
Dad loosens his grip and steps away from me. “Well, maybe it’s time you changed that. You’re going to need support to figure this all out, especially if Isla has no memory of her time with us.”
He isn’t wrong, even if I’m not quite ready to admit that.
Still, I’ll do whatever it takes to get my mate back, to find a way for her to remember, to have the love I’ve never been able to let go of reciprocated once more.
I once promised Isobella that I would always find her and it’s about damn time that I followed through.