Chapter 8
CHAPTER EIGHT
ISLA
D inner with Grayson was incredible. There was something about the food tonight that made me wonder if maybe the chefs have woven some sort of enchantment into their recipe. Or maybe it was just the company. Either way, everything tasted rich with bursts of flavor unlike any meal I’ve ever had back home. So much so, I opted for dessert, even though I felt as though I was going to explode.
“It’s your turn to help me with the stairs,” I tease, groaning and rubbing a hand over my stomach as we prepare to go back to our rooms.
Grayson’s laughter is deep and comforting, a sound that’s become pleasantly familiar over the course of the evening. Although I’m still unsure of our relation, his presence has an undeniable ease to it, soothing yet poignant, especially as he fights to keep his eyes open.
“I’ll do my best.” He yawns. “Sorry. It’s been a long day for me. ”
Concern flickers within me as I notice his weariness and place a hand over his on the table. “I can’t believe Asher won’t heal you.”
He looks down at his lap, then back up at me with an expression I can’t identify, but it’s almost tortured. “King Asher is doing what he believes is best and I won’t lie to you, Issie. I agree with his choice since it means getting more time with you. I know this is all a lot for you and there are so many things that you don’t understand yet, but I hope before you make your final choice to leave that you’ll consider all the facts before deciding to go back to Earth.”
He speaks as though there could be a single thing to keep me here. As much as I want to save Grayson, I can’t and won’t choose him over Elodee for more than the promised four weeks, especially when he’s agreed to leave with me. I need to go back to her. Outside of that, there isn’t anything in this place that makes me want to stay and I can’t see that changing.
“You’re partly right,” I concede, squeezing his hand. “There’s a lot I don’t understand—like how I could possibly be someone from centuries ago, or why I’m even here. But I know where I belong, and it’s not here. Hell, I don’t even want to know how any of this is possible. I just want to save you and get back to the family I left behind.”
He grimaces. “You have a family?”
Well, this is awkward.
“I have a person,” I say. “Elodee. She was my foster sister and has been my best friend and soul sister since I was a toddler. I can’t abandon her. Not for any reason.”
His previously tired eyes start to brighten and he nods. “ No, you can’t and we won’t let that happen, I promise you. Now, if you don’t have any questions that I can answer for you, then how about we head to our rooms? This old man needs his rest.”
As Grayson starts to stand, I move to help him, but he pushes his chair out on his own this time. He at least takes my offered hand and loops an arm through mine. As we ascend the stairs together, I marvel at how naturally our movements synchronize, his steps steady beside mine.
Pausing at his door, Grayson’s voice lowers to a whisper. “Issie, I know we’ve just reconnected, and this may be too much to ask, but…”
The unexpected vulnerability in his voice sends a shiver down my spine. My intuition screams that this connection, however inexplicable, matters deeply.
My hands squeeze his and my skin gets goosebumps. Maybe I should start asking questions because there has to be more at play here than me having some sort of doppelg?nger from the past. Feeling this connection to this stranger, even if it’s not as intense as it was the first time our eyes met, isn’t normal.
I’ve never allowed my walls to come down with anyone so fast, but I can’t deny that I want to give Grayson anything he wishes for. Well, as long as it’s not staying in this place past the four weeks that I’ve agreed to.
Which is why I find myself smiling warmly at him and saying, “You can always ask.”
He hesitates, emotion warring in his eyes as he looks toward the wall on our left. “I’m sorry. Your moth—my…wife used to say that same thing. I wasn’t expecting that. ”
Without thought, I hug him because regardless of how unreal all this is, my heart breaks for what this man has lost. A daughter, a wife, and who knows what else.
He accepts the embrace, his body tensing before relaxing and pulling back to look at me. “About that favor. Please, keep an open mind and when you’re ready to talk, don’t be afraid to ask any question that comes to mind. There is nothing you could ask that I won’t answer as long as it has nothing to do with King Asher. Any curiosity you might have about him needs to be handled between the two of you.”
I scoff before he’s even finished speaking. “I assure you, I know all I need to about that man and there will be no reason for questions where he’s concerned.”
“Sometimes we don’t always make the best first impression,” Grayson adds, his lips seeming to be fighting a smile. “You might change your mind.”
Doubtful.
“Well, goodnight, then,” he says, offering me another smile that has deep lines forming around his eyes.
“Sleep well.”
He steps into his room and I head the short distance to my door. Inside, my bedroom is quiet and I throw myself onto the mattress, stretching my body out and groaning. Not only because I’m ridiculously full, but because Grayson has made my mind begin to churn.
I don’t want to know more about this place. I just want to do my time here and go home, feeling proud that I’ve helped save a man’s life, one my heart tells me deserves at least that.
Our conversation replays through my mind and when I remember his reaction to me saying, “You can always ask,” I sit straight up in bed.
“Holy shit.” My head shakes and I struggle to breathe. How could I have been so…stupid, aloof, na?ve? None of those feel right, but oh, my God .
“These people are centuries old.” The words tumble out in a jumble, but that doesn’t make them any less real.
I know I’ve said and heard “five hundred years” several times now, but it’s as if my mind had been protecting me from truly understanding what those three words meant to the bigger picture. Unless there’s something else that I’m missing…
Grayson says I’m his daughter and he looks about eighty, but Cain said the photo was from five hundred years ago.
How could I not have questioned that then? I mean I was overwhelmed with the surly king, having just been transported to a world that shouldn’t exist, and everything else in between, but still.
Five freaking centuries? I can’t un-know this now that the information has been highlighted within my thoughts.
This is something I need to ask Grayson about now. Even if I intend to leave this world behind and never think of it again, I know I won’t be able to let this go. Plus, Elodee will kill me for not finding this information out once I explain what the hell has happened to me. I might not have wanted to tell her everything before, but this isn’t something I can keep to myself any longer.
Before I can get up from my bed, there’s a soft knock on my door. Maybe the answers are coming to me instead of me going to them.
I expect to see Grayson on the other side, but when I twist the handle and open the door, I jump back. There’s a regal woman standing in the hallway, smiling sincerely at me as if I should know her. “Hello, Isla.”
“Uh, hi. I was, um, just headed to, um, see Grayson.” I’m not sure what to do and I probably look like a blubbering idiot, but I don’t really care after this latest revelation.
Taking in her appearance, I try to guess her age and can’t help but wonder if she’s much older than the fifty or so years she appears to be.
Her light-blue, almost-silver eyes are soft with fine wrinkles at the sides that seem to only be there because she’s grinning at me still. Her greyish-blonde hair is pinned up on her head with braids and twists. I can’t begin to understand how they’re even staying in place. She wears a silk gown, much like the one I arrived in, but silver in color, and a diamond heart pendant sits on her chest, glinting under the light from my room.
“I’m Sosheena,” she says, then adds, “Asher’s mother.”
Of course she is.
“May I come in?” she asks politely, glancing behind me.
“Sure, I guess.” Apparently, my questions for Grayson will have to wait until after whatever this is.
She enters with the grace of a queen, practically gliding over the floor as she walks past me. Hell, she probably was the queen before, considering she’s Asher’s mother, but maybe the hierarchy here doesn’t work like it does in England. Though they have similar accents, so maybe. Another thing to ask about. I should probably start making a list.
Sosheena takes it upon herself to sit at the small table on the other side of my room and waits patiently for me to take my own seat. Yeah, this is weird.
“I wanted to come by and personally welcome you to Polaris.” She smiles again, but this time, the action doesn’t quite reach her eyes as she adds, “I was friends with your mother.”
Breathing becomes harder and I tense, but I don’t know what to say. The woman in the photo next to the bed with Grayson, she isn’t my mother. Yet I still yearn to know more about her. I shouldn’t and I tell myself not to, but given the fragile hold I have on my previous revelations…there’s no stopping the words that tumble out of my mouth.
“What was her name? What happened to her? How is it possible for you people to be so damn old, but also not look that old?” I suck in a breath, then loosely cover my face as I mutter, “I’m sorry.”
She laughs and waves a hand in the air, like everything I just asked is completely normal.
“You don’t need to apologize, Isla,” Sosheena says comfortingly. “I’m not sure how much my son would appreciate me telling you, but after the bits I’ve pieced together since your arrival, something tells me that you deserve to know more, even if it’s overwhelming for you. No one should make important decisions with only pieces of the truth.”
Why does she make so much sense? As much as I don’t want to believe any of this can be real and would love to pretend that I’m still dreaming, her offer of information feels too intriguing to deny. Maybe it’s the way she’s said the words or the fact that I don’t feel anything for her—at least not the connection I do to Grayson or the irritation toward Asher—but I agree with her.
“I didn’t think I wanted to know. I’m even pretty sure I suppressed things that were outright spoken to me, but if you can tell me more, I would be very grateful now,” I say, still doing my best to breathe properly.
“Well, first let me ask this. How much do you know about reincarnation?”
I gape at her. “What now?”
I thought doppelg?ngers were weird enough before, but reincarnation? No, that’s not possible. Then again, I didn’t think being transported to new places and people being multiple centuries old was, either.
There’s no way I can sit here and take this information. The need to move is too strong, forcing me to stand up from the chair and walk halfway to the door before turning around. I cross my arms and tap my foot as I stare at the woman before me.
“I know what reincarnation is, but please tell me the panic attack I’m having in my mind right now is for nothing and you’re not saying that’s what you people are. Reincarnations.”
“No, dear.” Her words and light chuckle have my shoulders dropping until she adds, “ We are all reincarnated. You and us.”
My hands cover my face again and I groan loudly. “That’s not possible.”
Her laughter increases. Though I don’t feel like she’s laughing at me. I’m sure I seem rather ridiculous right now.
“Oh, it is,” she says. “You just didn’t know it before, and now you do. As for your questions before, your mother’s name was Florence. I could spend hours talking about what happened to her, but the short version, while devastating, is rather simple. She died of a broken heart and chose not to be reborn—a choice we can all make each time we die. We’re so old , as you say, because of the magic of this world. We age much slower than humans and for my son, as the king, he doesn’t age at all while holding his title. I could explain the whys behind those things, but we should probably stick to the basics for tonight, given the paleness of your face.”
I’ve never been much for vulgar language, but…fuck me.
I pinch my arm and while there is a harsh bite of pain from my longer-than-normal nails, I don’t wake up from this craziness.
How am I supposed to accept that this is all real? How do I leave here and pretend I don’t know these things now? This is why I wasn’t going to ask questions. I didn’t need to know the answers because they only lead to so many more questions.
Yet Sosheena’s earlier words now haunt me.
“No one should make important decisions with only pieces of the truth.”
I close my eyes and take a deep inhale. The action is sharp and jagged and burning, like swallowing fiery icicles that are breaking apart as the air is forced down my throat. Still, I take another breath, then another until the action becomes easier to manage.
“There you go, Isla,” Sosheena says. “Just breathe and everything will be okay. I promise.”
Looking back at her, I shake my head. “Don’t make promises you can’t keep. ”
A frown etches deep on her face and she looks away for the first time since appearing at my door. “You’re right.” Her gaze slowly returns to mine. “I shouldn’t make a blanket promise like that, but I can promise that whatever you’re feeling now, however shocking all this seems, it will get easier. That’s not to say it won’t get worse first, but your best chance of surviving all of this is knowing the truth.”
I really hate that she’s most likely right.
“So, reincarnation?” I ask, still standing in the middle of my room, because there isn’t a part of me that doesn’t agree with her at this point. “That means that I’ve died before and come back to life. If this is something that all of you do, why is it that people remember me, but I don’t remember them?”
“Hm, that’s the golden question, isn’t it?” she muses. “One I can’t answer for you. I wish I could, believe me, but nobody was there with you that we know of when you died that first time. There were no signs of a struggle, no body, no blood, just nothing. You were gone and none of us knew why. Of course we could guess, but no answer was a good one.”
Well, that sounds pretty damn terrible.
“I’m sorry,” I start to say, but she cuts me off.
“You were once going to be the future queen,” she tells me. “You don’t need to apologize for anything, Isla. Fate is something we can’t control. All we can do is our best to adjust to the situation like we’ve done throughout the years and I hope you’re doing now.”
“Future…qu-queen?” I stutter. What the hell is she talking about? I know Grayson said Isobella was close with Asher and I might have assumed that meant they da ted, but being his queen ? Never once did that cross my mind.
Her fingers lightly cover her lips, but the action doesn’t hide her grin. “I’ve said more than I intended. How about something else? Yes, our memories. Typically, when those born in Lunara die and choose to be reborn, they eventually remember everything about their past lives. As their maturity grows, so does their memory. Oh, that gives me an idea. How do you feel about school?”
I lean against my bed now that I’m not losing my mind as much as before. Though I still want to know more about this future queen business. Maybe Grayson will tell me more tomorrow. I don’t think I’ll go see him after this conversation. My mind is already on overload.
“School?” I finally reply. “I was never the best at it, but I graduated.”
“You should join in on some of the classes,” she replies animatedly. “Yes, that would be a great idea. You can learn more about Lunara while you’re here because it’s not just the truth of your heart that you need to know before deciding to leave. You should know where you’re from, Isla. Even if you leave, this is important, no matter your choice.”
“You should know where you’re from, Isla.”
I thought I did. I thought that I was born in Salem, Oregon to my parents, Sandy and Blake Jessup. I thought I knew everything that I needed to know, but suddenly, I’m not so sure.
“Can I use a phone to call back…to Earth?” I ask because in this moment, with all these admissions, there’s nobody I need more than Elodee.
Sosheena’s grimace doesn’t give me much hope even before she answers. “We don’t have the technology to do so, but we can send a message to someone if you’d like since you’re not able to leave just yet.”
Of course I can’t. I’m sure even if I promised to come back, to let a guard or someone come with me, that prick of a king still wouldn’t let me call Elodee myself. Regardless, a message isn’t enough. Hell, not even a phone call is, but it would have been better than nothing.
“What happened to my car and everything in it when I…came here?” I ask next because if she’s going to send a message on my behalf, then it needs to come from me, on my phone, and not some stranger. Elodee has probably already filed a missing person’s report on me.
“The portal you came through was an ancient one,” she says thoughtfully. “I don’t have the answer to that question, but I can let you know tomorrow morning, yes?”
My body sags and I just want to crawl into bed. “I guess that will have to work. If you’re going to send a message for me, I’d prefer to have something texted from my phone that was left in my car.”
She gets up from her seat and stops in front of me where I still rest against my mattress. She grabs both of my hands and her warmth seeps into me, relaxing my muscles. “I’m not sure what a text is.” She chuckles. “But we will figure this out together and more than that, I will make sure your stay here is as comfortable as possible. If you don’t believe anything else, please believe that. Your mother was my dearest friend and I—” Sosheena pauses to clear her throat. “I know she would have done the same for me if our roles had been reversed.”
I watch as the former queen leaves my room without another word. As soon as the door closes behind her, I don’t even bother to undress. I push myself the rest of the way onto the bed, wrap myself in the comforter, and pray for sleep because my mind can’t take any other thoughts tonight.
Not of reincarnation, magic worlds, ancient portals, or anything else. I just want to shut it all off, even if for a few hours.