Chapter 24
‘Say hello to Bean, the newest star of the Dublin stage.’ Sive held the ultrasound picture up to her tablet screen.
She was sitting on Ben’s bed in his parents’ house.
Bridget had driven her to her appointment this morning, then brought her back here and made her an enormous lunch.
‘There’s the head, see,’ she pointed, ‘and the feet.’
Ben’s eyes went wide. ‘Wow! It’s like an actual person. I didn’t expect it to look so … human. It’s got fingers and everything.’
‘I know.’ Sive put the photo down and settled back against the headboard, the tablet propped against her legs.
She loved how easy and relaxed she and Ben were with each other now.
They’d been in touch regularly since he went back to Portugal.
He was sitting on a sofa in his Lisbon apartment, a bottle of beer in hand.
‘So the play went well?’
‘It was brilliant. You should come and see it – you and Anna. Your mum said you’re coming home for Christmas.’
‘Anna?’ He frowned.
‘Oh, I meant Inez.’ Damn, that was a hard habit to break.
‘Why do you keep calling her Anna?’
‘It’s how I used to think of her in my head,’ she admitted. ‘Anna Purna.’
Ben’s eyes twinkled in amusement. ‘First name Anna, last name Purna?’
‘Exactly.’
He gave a hoot of laughter. ‘I must tell her that.’
‘Oh god, don’t!’ Sive gasped.
Ben smiled around his beer bottle as he took a swig.
‘She’ll think I’m an awful bitch.’
‘She won’t,’ he said when he’d swallowed.
‘She’ll think it’s funny.’ He put the bottle down and fell silent for a moment.
‘You should meet her,’ he said then. ‘I think you’d like her.
’ His voice was soft, tentative, but she knew him well enough to tell he wasn’t as nonchalant as he was trying to appear.
He needed her to get on with Inez because she was his partner now, so she’d be in Bean’s life too – which meant she’d also be part of Sive’s.
She knew he was right, and she didn’t really have any reason to bear a grudge against Inez. It wasn’t her fault she’d fallen in love with Ben, or he with her, and she believed him when he said that nothing had happened between them in Nepal.
If Ben hadn’t broken up with her, Inez would have become nothing more than a distant memory for him, someone he’d had a brief connection with, who lived in a different country and was unlikely to cross paths with him ever again – someone he might think about once in a while, less and less as the years went on.
But nothing would alter the fact that a little bit of Ben’s heart would always belong to her.
It would have been wrong for all of them.
So she’d make the effort to get on with Anna – Inez.
She should probably start with calling her by her proper name.
‘I’ll email you the scan photo, so you can show it to her.’
‘Thanks.’
Sive shifted on the bed to get more comfortable, plumping up the pillows behind her.
‘Are you in my room?’
‘Yep. Your mother was fine with it. It’s not as if we can get up to any mischief on a Zoom call.’ She smiled. ‘Anyway, the damage is already done. Not that I’d call Bean damage.’
‘Show me again.’
Sive smiled and held the photo up again for him to see.
‘It’s weird, isn’t it? Does it feel weird?’
‘Knowing there’s a whole human being growing inside me? It’s beyond weird.’ She put the photo down again.
‘But everything’s okay?’
‘Yeah, it’s all proceeding as normal. My official due date is May eleventh. Though Bean might have other ideas.’
‘Do we know what it is yet? Girl bean or boy bean?’
‘No. They could have given me a fairly accurate guess, but they can be more definite at the next scan, so I said I’d wait until then. Do you want to know?’
‘Yeah, unless you don’t.’
‘No, I’d like to know.’
‘It’ll probably be a boy,’ Ben said. ‘It’s all boys in my family.’
‘Well, it’s all girls in mine. I don’t know if that’s how it goes anyway.’
‘Sorry I couldn’t be there with you.’
‘It’s fine. It was really quick and easy. And your mum drove me, which was great. They’re both being really helpful.’
‘I hope they’re not crowding you. Just tell them to back off if they are.’
‘No way, they’re being really lovely. Spoiling me rotten. Your mum’s so excited about the baby.’ Sive took a sip of the green tea sitting on Ben’s nightstand. ‘We came back here afterwards and she made me a big lunch.’
‘What did you have for lunch?’
‘Fish and chips.’
Ben groaned, licking his lips.
‘Yeah, your mum makes the best chips. And I got extra because I’m eating for two.’
‘Huh! That’s your excuse. Bean doesn’t look like she’d be a big eater at this stage.’
‘You’d be surprised.’ Sive seemed to be constantly hungry these days.
‘So what are you doing in my room?’
‘I came up for a nap after lunch. I’m just hanging out here, having a rest until it’s time to go to the theatre.’
‘Hmm, I’m not sure how I feel about you hanging out in my room without me.’
‘Why?’ she asked, sliding one of the nightstand drawers open. ‘Because I know where your chocolate stash is buried?’ She pulled out a Mars Bar, ostentatiously peeling off the wrapping.
‘Hey!’ Ben protested as she took a bite.
‘You wouldn’t grudge the mother of your child a Mars Bar surely?’
‘Nah. I’d even give you my last Rolo. You’re my best friend.’
‘Second-best friend, surely,’ Sive said, smiling wryly. ‘Inez has to be your best friend now.’
‘Well, oldest friend, then. Nothing will ever change that.’
Sive lay down and turned onto her side, propping the tablet on the pillow beside her. ‘Unless Superman flew around the world and turned back time, so you didn’t end up moving in across the road. And we weren’t in the same class at school.’
‘And you never offered to come home with me and help me with my English homework.’
‘And you didn’t ask me round to yours to watch Stranger Things with you.’
‘Yeah,’ he said wistfully. ‘That sounds like a shit time, to be honest. Look at all we’d have missed out on.’
‘Your debs.’
‘And your debs.’
‘Electric Picnic.’
‘Your eighteenth.’
‘Your twenty-first.’
‘That trip to Paris.’
‘Steak frites and cheap red wine in the brasserie opposite our hotel.’ She could practically taste it, transported back to the feel of a cool spring breeze and the tingling excitement of being young and in love for the first time, the whole world feeling fresh and new.
They’d have missed so much – all those memories they’d made together.
‘I wouldn’t be here now, having your mum’s fish and chips for lunch. ’
‘And eating my Mars Bars.’ Ben grinned.
Sive snuggled into the pillow, feeling snug and warm. This was nice – it was like old times, lying on Ben’s bed eating Mars Bars and talking nonsense with him. She had her friend back and it felt good. ‘There’d be no Bean,’ she said softly.
‘No Bean,’ Ben breathed. ‘That’d be a bit rubbish, wouldn’t it?’
‘I can’t even imagine it.’