25. Rule #24
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO PUSH ASIDE THE SENSIBLE FOR THE SENSUAL
CAI
From the moment I saw Sonny at GamerCon, I have been caught up in a whirlwind of disbelief.
The kisses, the embrace, the public declarations, and this moment sitting in a town car with him—none of it feels real.
Sonny talks on the phone and holds my hand as if I might disappear if he were to let me go; it’s a fever dream of the best kind.
He hasn’t stopped smiling. I have to remind myself not to push away or avert my eyes. I am worthy of this affection.
Sonny’s house is in an area called Ahwatukee, in a gated community, up on the hillside. It’s massive, a sprawling, contemporary Southwestern villa with graceful arches, warm stucco, and stone details that make my parents’ home look modest.
I stare up at it in awe as Sonny types on his phone. “All this… and it’s just you?”
He looks up at the house as if he’s forgotten what it looks like.
“Yeah. I have a team that comes and cleans and stuff, but mainly it’s just me.
” He reads the question on my face and adds, “Unfortunately, the houses with the biggest game rooms and theaters also have a lot of bedrooms. They don’t make a lot of luxury bachelor pads. ”
He takes my hand and leads me inside. The interior is marble and stone, tastefully decorated and devoid of much personality.
Sonny looks at his watch and grimaces. “I’m really sorry; I have to jump on this call.
I should only be an hour or two max.” He points to the end of the hall.
“Through there is the kitchen. I think Cleo said she was going to stock for me when I got back, so help yourself. There’s a pool outback and the living room has a big TV… just, you know. Make yourself at home.”
“Ok…” I say, still taken aback by all of this.
“Do you need anything specific? Are you going to be ok?”
I swallow and do my best to sound confident, “Yeah, totally good.”
He smiles, takes my face in his hands, and kisses me, long, slow, and full of promise. He pulls away hesitantly and leans his forehead on mine.
“I’m really happy you’re here.” Then, with one more quick kiss on the forehead, he takes the stairs two at a time and disappears.
I begin the slow, meandering walk towards the kitchen, not necessarily hungry but also unsure what to do with myself. I have never been in this situation, where a guy just laid the whole world at my feet and then told me to enjoy it.
I pretend I’m Belle, walking through Beast’s castle, looking for the library, except Sonny is no beast. He is all gentleness and affection.
When I watched him earlier during the panel, I could see how he looked as he spoke about something he loved.
The passion in his voice was infectious.
It makes me sad that on the days we spent together in Miami, I never gave him the chance to talk about what he loved.
I had been too caught up in my own mess to even stop to consider him.
I eventually find myself in the living room.
I sit down on the massive sectional couch and curl up under a nearby throw blanket.
I consider turning on the TV, but the remote looks daunting, and I don’t want to try to figure it out.
I sit there instead, gazing at the Arizona mountains through the window.
My little gremlin peeks out once more, a final attempt to be more relevant, sensing she’s on life support. I try to suppress her once and for all. To banish her from my life from here on out, but she keeps pushing the same thought over and over.
He has all of this. He’s kind, funny, successful, gorgeous… Why would he want you?
SONNY
The meeting had been an important one and took longer than I anticipated, but I need to give it the attention it deserves. Even so, in the back of my mind, I worry about Cai, alone in the house.
It’s not that I think she can’t take care of herself; I’m sure she can. It’s that Cai is used to a home of warmth and love, a living, breathing house with personality and its own story. My house is a sterile, cold shell that is designed to keep the world at a comfortable distance.
It’s never bothered me before, but now the idea of her spending time in it, thinking that this is something I like, or even prefer, feels embarrassing. What must she be thinking of a man who has a place like this? A place that suits my vanity and nothing else.
I also take the opportunity to text John to let him know how things have worked out. The response I get back was exactly what I expected.
John
I knew it’d work out!
Let me know when I can meet the woman who made you want to do something other than video games.
Sonny
It won’t be right away. I don’t want to expose her to your degeneracy too soon.
John
That’s fair
I am getting anxious as we approach the second hour, and I am glad when we complete the last agenda item.
I tear the headset off and bolt for the stairs. The house is quiet. For a terrible moment, I worry Cai has left. I can feel the panic rise inside me, increasing with every empty room I pass.
I almost miss her huddled in a ball on the couch, breathing softly and covered with a blanket. I sit beside her and brush a curl from her face. Her eyes flutter open, and she gives me a sleepy, shy smile.
“All done with your meeting?” She asks, sitting up.
“Yes, sorry it took so long. I hope you weren’t too bored.”
“Bored? No, not at all, but…” She pulls her knees up to her chest and hides her face slightly behind them.
“What?” I say, suddenly worried.
“I’m sorry to even ask, after everything, but I can’t stop wondering. You have all this. You are amazing and funny and hot and yet…Why would you want me?”
I can see tears in her eyes, and that makes me feel a little guilty as I start to laugh.
“I’m sorry Cai. I really am; I shouldn’t laugh. I was so worried that you would look at this house like some vanity project, think less of me for living in this mausoleum-style home, and decide that I was not good enough for you. I never expected you to wonder why I’d want you here!”
I lean in and grab her hands, wanting to make sure she believes what I tell her next.
“Since the moment I met you on the plane, the woman who choked on gum, who took me into her home, who shared her family with me, and did it all while being vulnerable with me, I’ve been gone for you.
You’ve made me want to be better. Not richer.
Not more successful. Just… better. You make me laugh harder, feel deeper, and dream bigger.
You are my favorite story, Cai. The one I want to keep adding to, every day for as long as you let me. ”
Cai leans in this time and kisses me, a kiss that spoke of gratitude and desire. The type of kiss you give someone when words just won’t do.
She pulls away and whispers, “Thank you.”
“You don’t have to thank me, Cai,” I say, moving her hand to my chest so she can see how she’s making my heart race. “I wasn’t just being polite; I’m completely smitten.”
Cai lunges forward this time, and the kiss she gives me isn’t sweet or gentle or nice. It’s hungry, and it demands more. A request I am happy to comply with.
I kiss her back with everything I have, hands sliding into her wild curls.
The kiss deepens fast. Her fingers fist in my shirt as I pull her onto my lap. The blanket falls away. My hands roam down her back, over the generous curve of her hips, gripping the softness I’ve been dreaming about for days.
“Cai,” I breathe against her mouth, “You have no idea what you do to me.”
She makes a soft, needy sound that echoes straight through me.
I tug her shirt up slowly, giving her time to stop me.
She doesn’t. The fabric whispers over her head, revealing smooth skin and the most beautiful, full breasts I’ve ever seen.
I groan, reverently, and lean in to kiss the swell of them, tasting her, worshiping every inch.
“You’re perfect,” I whisper against her skin. “So fucking perfect.”
Her head falls back with a gasp as my mouth finds her nipple. Her hips roll against me, seeking friction, and I meet her with equal hunger, hands sliding under her leggings to grip the generous curve of her ass.
We are lost in each other; hands exploring, mouths desperate, breaths mingling. When I finally pull back, it is just enough to rest my forehead against hers.
“Not here,” I rasp. “Not for our first time. I want you in my bed. I want to take my time with you.”
Cai’s eyes are dark with desire, lips swollen. She nods, breathless.
I stand, lifting her easily; her legs wrap around me, and she is held against me by her delicious bottom.
She protests and squirms briefly. “You can’t carry me! I’m too big! I’ll squash you!”
“I can think of worse ways to go,” I say.
There is no way I’m going to let her pull my hands away; I dig deep into her cheeks. I carry her upstairs, her laughter mixing with more kisses the whole way.