Chapter 38 #2
Twice.
Three times.
Then he whirled around, bowed his head, twined his fingers against the back of his neck, and delved deeper into that blasted room of his.
Just like that.
Leaving me open mouth, confused, and–honestly–offended.
“Hey, you don’t turn your back on me.” I rushed to the doorway and grabbed hold of the wood to keep from running after him. “Don’t think you can just end a conversation when you feel like it and run into your room–”
He turned back toward me, eyebrows frowned and upper lip twisted in confusion. “You know there’s no magical shield keeping you on that side of the door, right?”
“You respect my space, I’m giving you the same courtesy.”
“You can come into my room whenever you want, Allie.”
“Oh.”
Oh .
Well, didn’t I feel a bit stupid at not asking before I assumed.
Still, I hesitated on the threshold, like on that first day in the crater, when I held onto the door on top of the roof for dear life, scared the wind might fling me into the pine trees.
Now I feared what these few steps into Ryker’s most private world could mean.
Back when I’d first stepped foot into the fortress, I’d been more worried about him dragging me into this room while I clawed at his face. It had been a minor worry, drowned out by the endless ache I’d been trying not to drown in, but it had crossed my mind.
Now he’d invited me in, I wanted to enter, and, still, I wavered.
Following him into his bedroom felt like breaching a new barrier.
One I didn’t know if I was ready for.
There were just a few steps, but the trust behind allowing me access to the place where he slept, completely vulnerable, was a show of faith nobody in the Clan world could take lightly.
This man had his tongue in my mouth, his hand on my hips, and his whispers in my ear, and yet this gave me pause.
It was a room.
Just a room.
His room.
So I took the offering for what it was–confidence that I wouldn’t betray him when he was unguarded.
“Thank you for trusting me,” I said, completely serious, and stepped forward.
I hadn’t even allowed myself to focus on his room last time we’d opened the door.
Now I couldn’t stop staring–and I was vividly aware that Ryker was staring at me, his gaze a caress on the side of my face.
The carpet was bloodred–obviously–and soft like mine, with a golden trim that looked to have been weaved out of star rays generations before Clans had even been established, the mark of centuries weaved through every strand.
Other than the display of Blood Brotherhood loyalty–and luxury–the room was almost bare.
An old wardrobe to the side, doors open so I saw a row of the same uniform he always wore, plus what looked like a dark-blue ceremonial robe flecked with silver.
A chair waited right by the door, his boots placed perfectly upright next to it.
The walls were bare, except for a portrait of his mother as a young woman, barely older than me, holding a blond, rubby-cheeked Ryker in her lap, both smiling.
On his window, he had thick blue drapes that couldn’t have let any sunrays in even if this Solkar god would have thrown them himself, and to their right, a small table next to his–
Oh.
Oh .
Now that was a bed.
It was three beds, all in one, judging by its size.
It took up almost half the room with zero modesty, angled on the corner so that it slanted straight toward the door to my room.
The sheets were the same midnight blue as the drapes and somehow looked even softer and more inviting than mine.
The bed had four posters carved out of dark wood, which ended in a canopy that looked ripped straight out of the forest, branches intertwining and coiling above.
He probably could fit the entire fortress in it.
A jab of ugly curiosity reverberated inside of me as I wondered how many had been in that bed.
But I suffocated that haunting thought as soon as it sprouted.
It wasn’t my business who he’d indulged before we met.
It wasn’t like he or anyone in this crater had mentioned one of the Commander’s great big loves.
Yet, after how Waden had screwed my trust to pieces, old wounds instantly unscabbed.
But Waden wasn’t enough of a man to even wipe the blood off Ryker’s leather uniform and he definitely never was man enough for me.
Meanwhile, Ryker, my supposed enemy, had never made me feel unsafe. After so many betrayals, my heart rebelled at trusting even that.
But Waden was the past and I had to focus on the present to have a future.
The longer I stared at the bed, the more I became aware that I wore nothing but a silk slip–and that Ryker only had a towel on.
A different kind of danger than the one I was used to, but a danger nonetheless.
Too late to go back.
The air was colder than my room, but my skin was hot.
But I had more important issues to deal with than misplaced jealousy and nerves.
“This bedroom feels very you, in a strange way,” I said.
“In what way?” he asked, tense.
“It’s very sparse, especially compared to mine.
I barely had room to walk to my bed from all the books spilling from my shelves onto the floor.
” I was an absolute fiend when it came to books.
My mind was constantly thirsting and no amount of pages could quench it.
“But it’s all about comfort, with the barest, isn’t it?
You care about the essentials, but those essentials are very important. ”
Like the entire city of Solkar’s Reach. Crisp and clean and efficient in every beam and shingle.
“Guilty.” He cracked a smile, but it felt forced and only for my benefit. “I need all the energy I can get and I like to sleep well when I get to.”
“Yes, you need your energy. It must have been hard for you,” I found myself saying. “Having to take the reins of an entire Clan right after your mother’s passing.”
“It was very difficult.” His gaze trapped mine and didn’t let go. “It will be easier for you.”
I scoffed. It still sounded like a cry. “Silas made sure he cut the reins before I had a chance to catch them. And he sure as fuck doesn’t know what to do with them.”
“It’s temporary,” he said with absolute conviction.
“How do you know?”
“Because I’m starting to know you and I don’t envy Silas for when you come after him.”
I nodded. The Protectorate crown might have been out of my reach forever, but my revenge on Silas would come.
I didn’t know how or when, but the usurper needed to pay.
One long sigh later, I turned to face him once more. His entire body tensed instantly, as if he was readying for battle.
“Ryker…your realm will become mine,” I began, as gently as he’d done to me when I needed it. “If Solkar’s Reach is in danger, for any reason, I need to know.”
He nodded grimly. “Yes. You truly do.”
His shoulders bunched up, as if the truth was trying to hide itself in any crook and cranny in his body, just to not spill.
I tilted my head to the side. “I’m listening.”
“What if you don’t see me the same after you find out?” he asked, catching me completely off guard. For the first time since we’d met, he actually sounded unsure of himself.
Vulnerable.
So at odds with his powerful warrior body put on full display without a second thought.
I was struck with the impulse to hug him.
My body actually swayed from wanting to lurch forward and being held back.
“Only one way to find out,” I muttered. “Let me decide what kind of monster you are.”
Until I knew what this whole situation was about, I couldn’t make any promises. Some actions had no excuse.
“Very well.” He licked his teeth, gaze darting to a spot just above my shoulder. “I had to see them today because they entered my realm unannounced and uninvited.”
My stomach clenched. A Clan trespassing on another’s territory was a grave crime. “Why?”
“Because they’re arrogant idiots.”
“Apart from that. Why now?”
That damn silence fell between us again. I wanted to cleave in two, but only he could do that.
“Because,” he said, words sounding forced and heavy. “They feel like they’re not getting their share and that I’m stiffing them.”
I frowned. “Share of what?”
Possible Clan war? Snow? Arranged marriages?
Because the Blood Brotherhood wasn’t in the best political state right now. Better than the Protectorate, for sure, but not great from what Ryker had told me.
“Share of what I promised them.” He swallowed deeply. “In order to secede peacefully from the Northern Alliance and protect all bloodshed, I promised them continued access to the fallen star’s magic–and now they want more.”