Chapter 9 #3
I jerked my chin toward the bag of pistachios I was crushing in my hand and then looked back at him.
“Can I come in?” I asked uncertainly.
It wasn’t exactly what I’d planned to say, but at least I got my point across. I realized something then: Neil had done nothing but ignore me since I arrived. He didn’t give me the warm welcome that everyone else in his family had. At lunch, he hadn’t even looked at me.
Had he known that I was coming back?
Did he know I was going to be there for two days?
I assumed he did because Matt always called ahead to announce my arrival because he couldn’t contain his excitement.
But Mr. Disaster hadn’t even acknowledged my presence.
I tried to keep those fears at bay and focused on Neil, who was looking me up and down. I could never tell if he liked what he saw or not. He was good at concealing his thoughts. After a moment that felt like an eternity, he stepped aside and gave me his answer without words: Yes, you can come in.
I stopped a few steps inside when I heard the door slam behind me. I flinched, swallowing hard.
There was no one else in the pool house.
Everything was in perfect order.
Silence enveloped us.
I sniffed the air, and…there was no fruity Jennifer smell. No sex smell.
Neil was alone, and a part of me delighted in that and felt relieved.
I felt him lurking behind me then, and I turned to face him.
I considered the breadth of his shoulders, the toned arms that spoke to his incredible power, and his defined pectorals.
His body had changed; it had become somehow even more powerful and vigorous.
Had he stepped up his training?
I watched him admiringly—I really couldn’t help it—and frowned when I spotted a purple bruise near his ribs. It was a true hematoma, spreading out into a visible darkened spot.
Who did that to him? What happened?
I took a couple of steps closer and reached for him.
Neil did not reject my touch by any means.
So, I gently explored the spot with my fingers, and his abdomen twitched in pain.
Once the immediate stab of pain faded, I stroked his smooth, warm skin.
My hand looked very pale on his luminous, bronzed chest.
“Did you get this looked at? It’s a bad bruise.
” I continued touching him, and he breathed gently through his nose.
I had to tilt my face up to look him in the eye.
He was staring fixedly at me, and he still hadn’t said anything.
Maybe he didn’t want to talk to me. I chewed my lower lip, more embarrassed now than ever, and I timidly handed him the bag of pistachios.
“I brought these for you. I noticed that you seem to like them, right?” I whispered, staring into his luminous eyes again. Neil just watched my hand, and for a second, I thought he was going to go into a rage. Maybe I was pushing too hard? I could never be sure of anything with him.
To my surprise, though, he snatched up the bag. He looked it over, frowning, and I couldn’t tell if he was pleased, surprised, or irritated. Then, he tossed it onto the couch, leaving me uncertain.
He hadn’t appreciated my gesture.
I shook my head, trying to push past him, but I didn’t get far before Neil, with his characteristic dominance, grabbed my face with both hands and stopped me in my tracks.
His eyes bored into mine, and I knew immediately what he was going to do next.
Despite my previous angry outburst, I had always felt protected when I was with him.
I could feel his warmth and his desire, and it was enough to have me melting in his hands.
He licked his lower lip and breathed in deeply, closing and opening his eyes. He looked like he was struggling with something insurmountable. There was so much in his eyes, so many things that Neil would never tell me but that I would nevertheless try to learn.
My heart began to throb in my stomach. I was at his mercy, not only physically but mentally as well. He had gotten into my soul, and I belonged to him. It was over for me every time when he looked at me like that: lusty, angry, fragile, and confused.
With a groan of exasperation, he surrendered to his desires. He bent down until he could reach my lips and kissed me urgently. He pressed his mouth hard against mine, and I felt it, warm and lush.
He closed his eyes, and so did I. I was starving for him.
We were both starving, starving for kisses, for bites, tongues and touches, for an embrace. We were starving for sex and for love, dreams, feelings, and unspoken words. But Neil immediately broke contact, even as he remained way too close to me.
I looked at him in confusion and put my hand around the back of his neck to stroke him there. He hadn’t taken everything he wanted, but in his gleaming eyes, I could see what he was feeling.
I felt it too.
These shared emotions of ours sometimes pushed us apart, while at other times they drew us together like magnets.
With one hand, Neil grazed my thigh, and I shuddered. He smirked and kept going.
His hand moved along my flank and then around to my ass.
His fingertips delicately traced the contours of my spine, making me arch my back and exhale.
He stopped at the curve of my throat, his palm completely engulfing the nape of my neck.
His thumb moved to caress my lips, and his eyes lingered there.
He stared at my mouth like it was something entirely new to him.
He traced the outline of my mouth, and I kissed his fingertip, never lowering my eyes.
We were closely intertwined, perhaps for the very first time, and words had become superfluous.
As he moved closer, his breath moved over my face, and his lips touched mine again.
It was a light contact, just a hint, like the flutter of wings. But it awakened in me the desire for more.
I needed to feel him inside me, inside my soul.
I groaned in frustration when he pulled away and gave me a superior smile. Neil was really making a meal of this seduction. He made me believe that he was about to kiss me for real, crude and carnal, but instead he pulled back, just to drive me crazy.
“Quit it,” I muttered in a low voice. He drew closer again and licked my lips with the tip of his tongue. My knees went weak, and I had to hold on to his sides to keep from falling to the floor. The rush of arousal made my nipples stiff and sent chills down my arms. My head spun.
The taste of him, so masculine and intense, was an aphrodisiac.
I licked my lips clean so I could take it all in and even shut my eyes as I savored it.
“Feeling eager?” His baritone, slightly raspy, forced me to look at him.
Yes, I was eager to have him. I was eager to have all of him, in fact. I would no longer settle for just his body.
I stood up on my tiptoes to reach his mouth, and Neil didn’t pull back.
He dug a hand into my hair and wrapped it around his fist, pulling it slightly. I gritted my teeth against the minor pain, but I loved the violent, dominating way he touched me.
“Very eager, I’d say. Welcome back, Tinkerbell,” he whispered with a sensual smile before he leaped on me like an animal, kissing me. And this time he kissed me with all the fire that raged inside him.
He unleashed his true self: the greedy, possessive one. The one who was no shame and all lust. I could finally recognize the old Neil and, even more so, the old me. The one who struggled to keep up with his rapacious and all-too-expert kisses.
This was the way he’d always been.
He imposed himself on me and left me stunned.
While I’d been thinking, he’d been using his other hand to palm my ass, driving me closer to him.
I could feel his erection against my lower stomach, and I pressed my thighs together, fighting the pang of yearning I felt between them.
All the while, his tongue sent jolts of electricity all over, short-circuiting my brain.
Like always, I wanted more.
I felt his masculine power; I felt it in his lips, in his hands as they caressed me, and in the tension of his muscles. Without ever breaking our kiss, we began to back up. I was inundated with waves of desire, coaxing moans out of me.
God, how I wanted.
My stomach twisted, my chest grew tight, and the swell of lust became unbearable.
I clung to him, and he groaned when my nails bit into his skin.
This was all his fault—his alone. It was how he kissed and smelled and was so desirable. So magnificent. It was all his fault for hypnotizing me and waking up a part of myself I barely recognized.
It was all his fault that I had…fallen in love.
Neil fell back down on the couch and took me down with him.
I found myself straddling his pelvis, his swollen erection between my thighs.
He had one hand on my ass, the other clasping my hair in his tight fist. In turn, I put my hands on him, worshipping every bit of him.
I stroked his firm biceps and his powerful shoulders before traveling down to his pecs.
When I accidentally grazed his ribs, Neil squeezed his eyes shut and quit kissing me.
He let out a grunt of pain and let his head fall back, trying to catch his breath.
“Oh my God. I’m sorry,” I whispered in horror through swollen, painful lips. I was sweating, and my heart throbbed in my temples. I moved my hands up to his face and felt along his jaw, covered with the short layer of scruff that looked so good on him.
His fingers spread out over my hips, and his golden eyes opened slowly, coming back to me.
Neil was not in good shape, and that rictus of pain on his face was a clear sign of how much he was hurting.