Chapter 17 #2
“No buts. You’re going,” I told her seriously, and she smiled but did not, I noted, give me confirmation. She was definitely still too worried about me, and I didn’t want her to neglect her personal life because of it.
***
As I lounged quietly on the sofa the next day, I watched my mother come down the stairs with a small overnight bag.
After much back-and-forth, she had apparently decided that she was going to celebrate Betty’s birthday with her at the spa, and I wanted to make sure she enjoyed her trip to the fullest.
“I’m still not sure about this,” she said huffily as she approached me.
“Mom, you’ll be right back here tomorrow night. It’s one night.” I rolled my shoulders and leaned back against the armrest, stretching my legs out in front of me.
“I know, but I still don’t like it. I’ve already told Mrs. Kamper next door, and she says you can come to her if you need anything. I’m probably going to call you once every half hour, so you’d better answer,” she ordered firmly, making me grin.
“Have fun. I’ll go to school tomorrow, and I won’t even notice you’re gone.” I rolled my eyes at her, and she made a face.
“You’re almost too affectionate, sweetheart,” she teased.
“You know I adore you.” I got up off the couch and walked over to hug her.
Yet even her love couldn’t fill the emptiness I had inside me caused by Neil and his incomprehensible behavior. I tried not to let my misery show, though, until after my mother had left.
Once I was alone, I noticed my stomach was growling, so I went into the kitchen and poked around in the refrigerator.
I saw that it was almost empty and realized I should have gone shopping, but I didn’t feel like going out.
So I shut the door with a huff and went up to my room to take a shower.
When I was done, I sighed at the bathroom mirror and wandered around the house wrapped in a towel, my messy hair pulled up into a loose bun.
I was dripping all over the floor, but I didn’t care.
Then I rifled through my dresser and got out a pair of white panties and some black leggings.
I preferred to go without a bra because they were so damned uncomfortable, and I selected a plain cropped T-shirt that ended around my belly button.
It had an odd little illustration of a monkey in the center of it.
“You look horrible.” I babbled at the jungle animal like he was going to respond to me, but I decided to wear it anyway.
I completed the look with a pair of fluffy slippers and went down to the living room, ready to enjoy my alone time.
I winced when, almost immediately, the shrill sound of the doorbell interrupted the peace.
I pricked up my ears because I knew I was alone in the house.
So before I opened the door, I pulled aside the curtain in the window next to the door and peered outside. I couldn’t see anybody.
I waffled for a few moments about whether or not I should open the door, but curiosity got the better of me and I gave in.
My eyes opened wide as I spotted Neil in front of me. I went still—so still that I couldn’t even blink.
“How long does it take you to open a door?” His warm voice alone was enough to make a shiver pass through my lower belly. My eyes got stuck on his, just as bright and intense as they always were.
“Are you by yourself?” His question broke my temporary trance.
I’d forgotten that he was still just standing there on the porch, because I was too busy checking him out.
I was about to answer him when I saw his honey-colored eyes doing a similar slow inspection of my clothing.
Neil paused to ogle my breasts, the stiffened nipples like hard pebbles underneath the thin material of my T-shirt.
“Well?” he prompted, sounding annoyed, and then advanced vigorously on me, filling all the air around me with the smell of him.
“What are you doing here? My mom isn’t home and—” But I didn’t get to finish because Neil slammed the door closed behind him, and I immediately found myself pressed up against the wall, enclosed by his much more powerful frame.
His lips fell on mine and devoured me in the most overpowering way.
He thrust his tongue into my mouth and lashed it like a whip, demanding I reciprocate.
The tobacco taste of him mingled with the mint already on my tongue, but there was no care and no emotion.
This kiss of ours was all desire, want, and hunger.
“You’re not wearing a bra; you know what that does to me,” he murmured into my mouth, ignoring my question.
He continued to kiss me and snuck a hand under my shirt to fondle me.
I gasped, and his powerful, aroused body was plastered entirely against mine, letting me feel the hardness between his thighs.
My heart pounded furiously in my chest, goosebumps rippling over my skin, but I felt tense. Too tense.
Did he think he could just come and go whenever he wanted? Did he think that a domineering attitude and good looks were enough to make me forget what had happened?
“No, wait…” I groaned in pain when his hand moved too roughly on my breast, squeezing it in his hot palm until it felt like a balloon ready to burst. “Neil,” I said brokenly, managing to drag my lips away from his, which immediately slid down to my neck.
Then Mr. Disaster wrapped my hair around his fist and pulled back, forcing me to expose my throat for his pleasure.
He licked and sucked greedily at the skin, dragging another moan out of me.
After a moment of pleasure, however, I came to my senses.
“Neil, I said no!” I pushed him hard and watched him stagger back. A puzzled look came over his face as I watched him, breathless. Instinctively, I touched a finger to my swollen lips.
“What’s your problem? Are you rejecting me? Seriously?” He ran his hand through the unruly hair on top of his head and looked earnestly at me, waiting for an answer.
“What’s my problem?” I echoed, still gasping for air. “You didn’t even say hello! I’m not a blow-up doll, Neil!” I raised my voice, and he frowned like he couldn’t tell if I was serious or not.
“It was just a fucking kiss; I wasn’t going to rail you up against the wall. Chill out.” He looked me top to bottom, his expression condescending.
“You disappeared and left me with nothing but a crappy Post-it note on my desk. How dare you just barge into my home and demand my attention like nothing happened? Huh?” I straightened my T-shirt furiously when I noticed that he was staring at my breasts again.
“And look at my face when I’m talking to you!
” I ordered, enraged. I was so incredibly disappointed by his behavior and even more so by his incredible arrogance about it.
“First of all, chill out,” he repeated scornfully, looking me in the eye.
“I don’t take orders from anyone, least of all you.
Also, you shouldn’t get so worked up over a kiss.
The last few times we were together, you practically served it up on a platter, and I was the one who didn’t give in.
” He gave me a thin, mocking smile, and I stared at him in bewilderment.
I was going to kick him; I knew it.
“You are such a dick!” I spat at him.
“Because I kissed you just now or because I haven’t fucked you in so long?” He cocked an eyebrow and dug his teeth into his lower lip, extremely entertained by the entire situation.
“Enough with this shit, Neil. Since you’re here, we need to get a few things straight. Sit down.” I gestured toward the couch, and his gaze followed my hand, though his face remained just as smirky.
“Hmm. Feeling aggressive today, huh, Tinkerbell? I have to say, I wasn’t expecting this welcome.” He winked at me and didn’t move an inch. That’s when I completely lost my cool.
“Goddammit, stop being an asshole for five minutes! And if you can’t do that, then you better get your ass out that door before I kick you out.
And I won’t be gentle about it. Is that clear?
” I shouted, gesturing at the door behind him and watching his smile fade, replaced by the familiar shadow that moved across his eyes.
He gave me that bleak stare of his, black pupils catching the light.
“Watch it, Selene,” he warned me in a low, serious tone. I shuddered and gulped like I was trying to swallow a handful of nails.
“You need to listen to me for once,” I said, more calmly and, unfortunately, less decisively. Neil sat reluctantly on the sofa’s armrest, crossing his own arms over his chest.
“All right, hit me with your bullshit…” He sighed and I tried to ignore his inexplicably obnoxious attitude. He was acting jumpy, bored, and even annoyed with me.
“My bullshit?” I shot back, offended. I made sure to keep some physical distance between us. “You’re the one who ghosted me with a Post-it note. You do get that, right?” My shoulders slumped, and I sighed heavily. I needed to calm down, or we’d never find a solution to our myriad problems.
“Yes and I think the reason why I did that is pretty clear…”
“Do you think I’m in love with you?” I folded my arms over my chest and adopted a confident stance.
“I’m not. So you can rest assured—I just misspoke that night,” I lied, although I didn’t know whether or not Neil would believe me.
He was too smart not to at least suspect I was feeding him a flimsy explanation.
“Okay. In that case, I accept your apology,” he said with a shrug.
“I didn’t apologize,” I said, bemused.
“You should, though. The word ‘love’ is offensive to me,” he answered, staring back at me with his usual stern glower.
“But I didn’t say that to you,” I said impatiently, and he gave a slow, amused head shake.
“And, besides, you are the one who should be apologizing,” I went on, and Neil stood up and began walking toward me.
I took a step back. Each time he advanced on me like a big cat, it made me feel like small and helpless prey.