45. Chapter 45
Chapter 45
I don’t know what kind of magic this is, but I actually manage to enter the Lexarcanum, my breath held in anticipation.
As soon as I do, it all happens again, just like it did years ago, when the same cat led me to this exact same spot — my eyes dart to one of the top bookshelves to my right, a book wriggles its way out of it and I watch it land on the pillar at the center of the room.
Only this time, when I walk over and touch it, there are no visions knocking me unconscious. There’s just the feel of a dusty leather cover under my fingertips.
Still, it’s the exact same book. I’d know — the image of it has been forever burned into my brain.
And when I try to open it, nothing stops me.
It just… opens.
That alone would be enough to render me speechless, but then my eyes land on the enclosed letter, and I recognize the handwriting.
My heart stops. Then, almost instantly, tears well in my eyes, accompanied by such an acute feeling of longing, I can barely breathe.
I don’t hesitate. With shaky hands, I grab the book and take it with me to the floor. Holding my breath and trying to blink the tears away, I open the letter.
My dearest Anyi,
Thank the gods, because if you’re reading this, it means Nymeria has found you alive and well. The original intention was to leave you my diary, but after some recent events, there has arisen a need to preface it with this letter.
There’s nothing I wouldn’t give to be by your side right now, my love, but there’s something potentially unsettling I need to divulge, so if you could just imagine me holding you in my arms? I myself will take comfort in the fact that the information I’m about to share will be of use to you, protect you from harm and help you lead a long, happy life.
Long story short, I’ve recently had another encounter with Serra. Her intention was obviously to kill me. I’m happy to be able to say I’ve taken her life instead, but in the days that followed, I’ve managed to unearth another one of her endeavors.
Serra had been researching the nature of your mate bonds, my love. She had figured out that there is an order in which we — your mates — reincarnate, and had been trying to find ways to identify us. Or maybe not ‘us’ per se, because her search seemed to have been limited to vampires specifically.
I don’t know if this means anything, but I’m afraid that, despite my having succeeded in killing her, she had in turn already succeeded in setting some plan in motion.
There. I hope that this helps you somehow, my love, and that you stay safe from any harm that might befall you.
Now, before I leave you with the diary, I just have the need to tell you, once again, that none of this is your fault. As I suspected, the nature of time is such that things that have happened can never be changed. Neither you going back in time and finding me, nor you traveling back to your own time and leaving me.
And I sure as hell don’t regret anything. A single day with you, my love, and it would still all have been worth it.
Yours forever and ever, throughout both time and space,
Orpheus
By the time I finish the letter, I’m sobbing, sitting on the floor and clutching the letter with Nymeria sitting by my side. My mind is reeling and my body is restless — I want to read the letter again and again and again, until I’ve memorized every stroke of the pen, but the need to find out how he’s lived his life urges me on.
Dread and hope clashing within me, I put the letter back and open the first page of the diary.
My dearest Anyi,
This will not be a sad book for you to read, I promise. It’s been a couple of months since you left and I’ve spent that time locked up in my workshop — grieving, raging and drinking myself into oblivion.
But I urge you not to be cross with me yet, my love, because that’s not how my story ends.
It hit me a couple of days ago, how sad you’d be if you saw how poorly I was handling being without you, and I’ve since decided to come to my senses. This led to a conclusion I take great comfort in — that you being in a different time doesn’t mean I can’t be of any help to you.
So yesterday, I started my own research on Baldur and arranged to become the next Grimm Academy Archivist, so I can leave a book for you in the Lexarcanum — the very one you’re reading right now — as a means of communication, however one-sided, across time and space.
Though, to be honest, the thought occurred to me mostly because of how desperately I miss you, with every breath I take, and more so with each day that passes.
But I did say this wouldn’t be a sad book for you to read.
On a lighter note, you’ll be glad to hear that becoming the Archivist wasn’t the only thing I did yesterday. I even visited my mother in prison and had dinner with my sisters. Sylmarilla and Farryn miss you as well, but they’re closer than ever before. I know how much you wanted us to be a real family, so I’ll be putting effort into becoming a better brother as well…