13
ANYTHING, JUST ASK
HENRY
W e’re on the seventh day of what has been the worst fucking experience of my life. Ivy’s more willful than I thought and she won’t give in. She’s fucking clever too and she thinks she’s found a way to avoid the inevitable. She stopped eating on day three and it’s heartbreaking.
She’s wasting away in front of me—and it’s completely unnecessary.
Any other pet would have caved by now. They should have given in to my will and Ivy shouldn't be fighting me. This should have been fast and this never should have hurt her. It shouldn't have hurt me either, and I'm left contemplating another decision I wish I hadn't made.
Ryan and Matt watch me, expecting an outburst. We all thought she’d give in by now and her defiance isn’t helping. Ryan’s concerned and Matt’s worried, and both seem to have forgiven her for attacking Matt.
“This has to end, Henry,” Matt says, carefully.
My eyebrow arches.
“She’s in agony,” he says, staring me down and refusing to budge. “You can’t leave her like this. It isn’t working.”
Ryan’s eyes flash a desperate plea for me to see reason. My second leans forward and I know that look. It means he thinks I’ve gone too far. He thinks I’ve made a mistake. He’s going to risk crossing me because he thinks it’s too damn dangerous not to.
Fuck.
“Matt’s right, Henry. Ivy’s hurting herself and if this carries on for much longer, she’s at genuine risk of harm. She’s barely drunk in days and she hasn’t eaten. Find another way.”
My jaw ticks and I watch the damn video stream. She’s lying on the straw, underneath a blanket that’s beneath her. She deserves better. She should be somewhere better. She’s subjecting herself to this and it’s breaking my heart.
“You need to make your fucking mind up,” I hiss at Ryan. He wanted me to be kind when she first arrived, and I followed his advice. After our binding, he couldn’t understand why I was being so tolerant, and he was downright murderous after Ivy attacked Matt. Ryan was demanding her blood and now he wants me to stop.
He’s wrong. All it would do is teach Ivy that her stubbornness can be weaponized. It would make things worse, not better. She’d learn she can win.
“She’s terrified, Henry,” he says slowly. “You threw my advice out the window when you made food an issue. She was never going to trust you after that. You committed yourself to taking the harder road but wouldn’t follow through.”
Matt crosses his arms and nods, agreeing with his partner. I bet the pair of them have discussed this, and I fucking hate the way they’re playing this. The whole damn mess is as much Ivy’s fault as mine, and the pair of them are at least partly to blame.
“She isn’t just a pet,” Matt says and Ryan sends him a look that suggests they’d agreed not to discuss this. “She’s your mate, Henry. Your equal. She’s brave, determined, and she’s telling you where her boundaries are. You’ll get further if you stop trampling all over them and start listening to her.”
I bang my fist on the table. Ryan reacts and Matt doesn’t. The amber in his eyes burns brighter and I’m about to receive a lecture I don’t want to hear.
“Try seeing this from her point of view. You’re asking her to trust you, but she doesn’t know why. Or whether she can. She sure as fuck doesn’t know how far you’ll go. She’s been forced into marriage and then you threaten her safety and keep changing your goddamn mind.”
I snarl and he shakes his head.
“You're kind and then you’re not. You’re soft and then you’re hard. You leave her for hours on end and then refuse to go. You tell her she’s beautiful and perfect, almost fuck her, but then don’t. It makes sense to you, but it makes not one goddamn bit of sense to her. She’s left reeling. She’s confused, disorientated, and rejected—and she won’t trust you until you fix it.”
My fingers tap the desk and Matt ignores my warning again.
“You need to be constant. Certain. Predictable. Ivy doesn’t understand your reactions or your rules and they’re irrational, unpredictable and terrifying to her. You’re moving wildly and she won’t anchor herself to someone so unstable.”
I turn my head back to the monitor and Ivy’s lying in the same position. She’s exhausted and she’s got to submit soon. She can’t go on much longer and as soon as she’s given in, we can start to rebuild. I can explain everything then, introduce her to my world slowly.
They’re wrong.
Both wrong.
She. Just. Needs. To. Break .
“See reason,” Ryan adds. “She’s your mate, Henry.”
“I FUCKING KNOW.”
My roar reverberates around the office and I ignore the fuck out of the two vampires sitting with me. Ivy shuffles a little and her fingers clutch the blanket tighter than before. She’s holding on and I pray it’s the final moments of fight before her surrender.
“Give her a bridge.” Matt leans forward and ignores the warning I flash him. “You’re asking for too much. She can’t trust you until she knows what’s going on. You’ve made it impossible, Henry. For the sake of all things holy, meet her somewhere in the middle.”
I snap and before I know it, my hand’s around Matt’s neck and he’s dangling in the air. Ryan’s on his feet and there’s sheer terror in his eyes. I could destroy Matt in seconds, and the precarious position we’re in is a sign of how far out of control I am.
Ivy’s not the only one being tested, and she might be faring better than I am.
“Henry, please,” Ryan says, pleading as his panic ignites. “He’s mine. Please.”
Fuck .
Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck.
“I’ll give you anything… anything you want… please, Henry… ”
I release my grip and Matt drops to the floor. Ryan rushes over and cradles Matt, patting him more for his reassurance than for Matt’s comfort. I know the goddamn feeling and it’s everything I want with Ivy, except I want so much more.
Fuck .
“Matt…” I stop short of an apology.
He raises his hand and blinks as he nods his head. “It’s fine. This is why this must end, Henry. You’re at breaking point and you’re not going through what she is. Imagine what it’s like for her.”
I walk back around to my side of the desk and stare at the fragile little girl who refuses to break and holds my heart in her hands. Her head pokes out from under the blanket and there’s barely any light left in those brilliant emerald eyes of hers. She’s fading and I’m letting her slip through my fingers.
If she doesn’t eat or drink soon, I’ll lose her completely.
Ivy’s got to give in. She can’t hold out much longer.
We can’t go through this again. She’s got to see reason.
I’ve got to see reason.
Dammit, I’ve got to see reason.
“I’ll talk to her.”
Ryan’s still running his hands over Matt while Matt feigns annoyance. They both freeze for a moment and then exchange worried looks. Matt stares at me with enough determination to burn through hell while Ryan fusses over him, deliberately putting himself between the two of us.
“Be reasonable with her. Be firm but kind. Explain things, slowly, carefully, patiently. She’ll give if you do.”
I glare at the screen as it flickers. Ivy’s moving and it doesn’t look easy. She’s stiff and her position isn’t comfortable. She’s holding herself awkwardly and when she shifts again, she whimpers.
I stiffen.
I fucking freeze.
She cries and my heart aches, screaming I need to rush to her.
She sobs a stuttered breath and her legs curl up underneath her. She flinches and she cries again.
“This is cruel…”
I cut Matt off with a flick of my wrist and stare, transfixed, at the video. Ivy’s arms move to her stomach and she’s fighting with herself. She’s on the brink of surrender, and this could be the moment I’ve been so fucking desperate for. Her resolve is weakening and it might be about to break.
“Henry.”
It’s a small whisper and a cacophony of change.
It’s too fucking seismic to believe and my eyes widen, frantically hoping I haven’t imagined it.
“You didn’t,” Ryan says, interrupting my thoughts as he inches closer, angling his head to see Ivy. I watch her move again and listen to her cry, pleading for it not to be a hallucination. Praying that the simple, complicated, perplexing girl who I’ve put through hell has somehow found the strength to save us both.
“Henry…”
The last syllable hangs in the air and she hasn’t finished calling my name by the time I’m out of the room.
“Be kind,” Matt yells.
I’m too far gone to listen to anything he has to say. Ivy’s called for me. She’s asked for me. For the first time since this awful ordeal began. Since Ryan brought her here. She’s accepted she needs me and I can’t afford to waste any time. I promised her I’d come. I promised her all she had to do was ask.
Fuck, I’m fast.
Fuck, I’m not fast enough.
I’m charging into the dungeons faster than I ever have before and my nerves are frayed by the time I’ve grabbed the keys. I fumble for the right one, cursing that I should have separated it in case of a moment like this.
Ivy could have asked for me again. She might have given up hope and decided I wasn’t coming. She’s been waiting long enough and I’m frantic, desperate to ease her pain and make this right. To cement our dynamic and get her out of her.
I can’t let her see me like this.
I’ve got to be calm. Composed. I’ve got to be measured. She won’t take this step unless I’m there to catch her and I’ve got to pull myself together. For us. For her. Almost entirely for her.
She’s still lying on the ground by the time I enter the cell and I hate myself. I’ve reduced her to something small. Something beneath her. She’s exquisite and she’s mine, and this is the only way I know how to keep her safe. I should be stronger; I should be better. I should have kept my fucking temper, but I didn’t, and here we are.
I’m too damn frightened to speak. It’s been centuries since I’ve known fear, let alone terror like this. One wrong word could ruin everything. Could break us apart. Could undo our progress.
“Henry?”
She lifts her head a little. Her perfect lips are cracked, her eyes are dull, and her skin is filthy. Her hair’s matted and she’s lost too much weight. She’s lost her curves. She’s beautiful. She’s perfect. She’s mine and I’ve done this to her.
“I’m here.”
Fuck .
I’m a cold, spineless bastard. I can’t bring myself to say her name and I refuse to call her pet.
“Please,” she whimpers. “Please, can I leave?”
Fuck .
If I had a beating heart, it’d be racing so chaotically I wouldn’t know if I was still alive. I take a step closer and force myself to keep my goddamn composure as I kneel beside her.
“I want to sleep. And eat. I want the pain to stop.”
I lean closer and stop myself from picking her up and carrying her away right now. I need to know exactly where we are. She’s done enough to leave here, but I need to know whether she’s accepted me as her Master.
“Let me take care of you.”
Ivy draws another stuttered breath and sobs as she exhales.
She’s misunderstood me.
Fuck, she thinks I’m demanding something more instead of giving her everything she wants. Ivy’s so damn used to being pushed that she’s missed the lifeline I’ve thrown her, and she’s still trying to swim her way to shore.
“You can trust me.”
Ivy stares at me like she wants to. Like it’s killing her not to. It’s as if she wants to trust me more than anything she’s ever wanted before. She’s in pain and, yet again, my words are interpreted as a challenge when they’re meant to provide reassurance.
“I can’t.”
Damn .
We’re heading backward. I’ve undone all the progress she’s made and now she’s lost again. This isn’t her fault. This is mine. It’s my mistake, my responsibility. I need to fix this, and I need to fix it fucking fast.
“Why not?”
My tone is relaxed and I’m anything but. I need her to tell me how to fix this. I need Ivy to help me. For a second time, the human girl who’s weaker than me needs to be strong enough to save us both.
“Because you’re lying.”
Her words cut like a knife and I hate myself because they’re true. She’s seen through all the pretense and Ivy’s figured out there’s something I’m holding back.
Matt was right.
Ryan was right.
Dammit, Ivy’s right.
She can’t trust me to provide for her when she knows I’m lying.
“You’re hiding something, Henry. Nothing here make sense. The castle. The wedding. The way you disappear and never eat. The goalposts keep moving and I can’t…”
Ivy’s voice fades away and her head sinks into the straw beneath her. She’s given up. She’s accepted her position. The impossible position I put her in that meant she couldn’t win. She couldn’t give me what I wanted because I didn’t give her what she needed.
This is my goddamn fault.
All of it.
And I’m going to spend the rest of my fucking life making it up to her.
“You can,” I whisper. “I promise things will be different. I promise I’ll tell you everything. Not today, not tomorrow. When you’re strong again. When you’ve eaten something. When you’ve had time to recover and you’re ready. Whenever you choose.”
Her eyes flick to mine and there’s a small spark of hope. It’s barely burning, but it’s fucking there and I refuse to let it extinguish. I swallow and she stares at me like it’s my turn to be brave. It’s my turn to make the leap of faith she made moments ago. She trusted me and now I need to trust her.
“Tell me what you want, Ivy. I’ll give you anything I can. Anything. Just ask.”
Her fingers move to mine and they grab them so damn tightly it would hurt if I were human.
“I’d like to go to my room and eat some food.” She stops and her fingernails dig into me as she starts shaking. “Please.” Her body tenses and she shuts her eyes. “Please, Master, I want to leave.”
I grab her and she squeals in surprise as I lose all goddamn reason. I’m planting kisses all over her and I don’t give a single shit about how disgustingly filthy she is and she’s so damn perfect that I refuse to let the dirt diminish her. She’s mine, all fucking mine, and I intend to keep every promise I made to her.
Ivy’s delicate little hands cling to my shirt and I wrap myself around her, stroking her and praising her, telling her how goddamn proud of her I am. I’m rambling, I’m practically incoherent and I don’t give one single shit. I pick her up and carry her out of the cell with as much reverence as I can, even though it will never be enough.
My perfect, precious mate might have given me control, but I know damn well she’s the one with all the power now.