19
MAKE HER HOME
HENRY
I vy sleeps and her soft snores count the time until she wakes. I’m running out of time. I’m running out of reasons not to tell her. She’s regained the weight she lost and her stamina’s improving. She’s trying to obey me and when she gets it wrong, it’s because she misunderstands me or can’t do what I’ve asked. Yet.
Ryan calls through the door and my second won’t let me ignore him. I know that tone of voice. It means a fucking lecture.
I slip out of bed and Ivy doesn’t notice. I check one last time before I creep into the corridor, shutting the door to face Matt and Ryan’s glacial stares.
“Have you told her?” Matt asks.
I shake my head.
“Why not?” Ryan asks, hissing.
“She isn’t ready,” I whisper back.
“Bullshit,” Matt snarls. “You’ve taken her out. Without a fucking collar on, Henry, and put her on display like the precious, perfect creature you think she is. She’s your mate, not a fucking toy. Stop making excuses.”
I snarl and both step back. They should know better. They do know better. They’re risking my temper and I’d be more than a match for them. Especially with Ivy beyond the door.
It’s Ryan who steps forward. “Henry, she’s ready. It’s you who’s not.”
I huff and it’s unbecoming.
I’m better than this, in more ways than one. Ivy ought to know but I can’t bring myself to tell her. It could undo everything we’ve done, everything she’s done. We’re so damn close to being there it fucking hurts to have it within reach but be unable to touch it.
I just need a few more days.
She’ll be ready in a couple of days. Ivy’s asking for more and giving more back. She’s more compliant. She’s much more willing. I’m certain she’s going to let me fuck her and she’ll be marked as mine as soon as my come paints her cunt.
It’s an unusual quirk I’ve never fully understood, but the submissive’s scent always changes after the pair has fucked. Ivy’s has changed now I’m coming on her and in her mouth, but it isn’t quite there. Until it happens, another dominant might try to steal her.
I just need a few more days.
“Don’t fuck her before you’ve told her.” Matt leans against the wall and glares at me like I’m despicable for even thinking about it. “We’ve all used venom or blood to manipulate them into getting what we want. You wanted things to be different with her. ”
“They are.” My fangs extend and I’m close to losing my shit. “She has a choice.”
“Then give her one,” Ryan says. “A proper one. It isn’t if she doesn’t know, Henry.”
“She’ll struggle, but it’ll be worse if she finds out afterward.” Matt’s trying to be gentle and it’s coming off as patronizing. “You know I’m right.”
I growl and he remains unmoved. “She’s my mate, Matt.”
He steps forward and his head tilts. He’s pushing his luck and the only reason I haven’t lashed out already is because he’s doing this for Ivy. For some misguided reason, he’s decided he knows better than me. About my mate.
“Then treat her like it. You said she was your equal, but she isn’t. She’s way above you.”
He marches down the corridor, leaving me standing as Ryan follows his partner. I watch them walk away—together—leaving me desperate for what they have. It’s total acceptance of each other. Complete openness. Absolute trust. Safety. Security. Home.
I creep into Ivy’s room and slide into bed, pulling her against me. Her little warm body nestles on mine and the thief who’s stolen my heart and soul nuzzles into me, giving me back more than she’s ever taken. More than she could ever take.
Hours pass and I stare at the ceiling, wishing I could sleep. Wishing Matt wasn’t right. Wishing I could have what he has with Ryan. Praying I can do this without hurting the most precious thing in the world.
She stirs. I stiffen.
She moans against me. I cling to her.
She stretches and wakes up. I close my eyes and pray.
“Did you want breakfast, lea? ”
Ivy pulls herself upright and rubs the sleep from her eyes. Her hair is a tousled mess and her make-up is slightly smeared. She’s fucking beautiful. Stunning. More so than any of the masterpieces I’ve acquired over the centuries I’ve lived.
She shakes her head.
“You need to eat, lea.”
She pounces onto me and peppers kisses over my chest. Gods, she’s changed. She’s grown. She trusts me and she plays with me, pushing the boundaries in a way she knows delights me. Every touch is a moment of bliss and a stake through my heart.
I’ve got to tell her.
I’m not ready to tell her.
I’m not ready to lose her.
Fuck .
Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck.
She freezes and sits up, confused and worried she’s done something wrong. Her fingers dig into my stomach as she perches on me, question whether she’s made a mistake.
We were attuned, and now the equilibrium’s disrupted.
“What did I do, Master?”
I steal a kiss, desperate to have one last taste before I shatter her innocence. It might be a long time before she lets me kiss her again and my tongue explores her mouth, claiming every corner of it and savoring her taste. She’s sweet and tangy and I’ll never have enough of this, never grow tired of her or her body or her mind.
Damn. This fucking hurts.
I break our kiss and Ivy knows something’s wrong.
“Did you want to know? ”
I’m terrified. The only other time I’ve known terror like this was when I thought Matt was attacking her. She’s got my heart and future in her hands, and she’s the one with control. She was always the center of my world but my orbit’s never been so erratic.
Ivy’s eyes widen and their green is electric. She’s proud, delighted she’s earned the right to know. She beams and nods, pawing my chest as she leans forward.
I take her hand and my fingers play with hers. They brush over her ring—my ring—and I adjust it, transfixed.
“You’ve never taken this off.” I sigh. “Even when I locked you away, you didn’t take it off.”
She smiles and it’s perfect, breaking my heart.
“Do you like it?” I ask, trying to delay.
Ivy smiles. “I do but it feels big. Too big. For me.”
“It isn’t. It was bigger. No one needs a ruby the size of an egg, and one day, lea, I will give the remaining stones to you.”
Adorning the collar I’m having made for her.
“What are you hiding, Henry?”
“Promise not to take it off?” I ask. “No matter how bad this gets, Ivy. Please don’t take it off.”
She nods.
It’s good enough.
“Did you see anything unusual when I thought Matt was hurting you?”
Her eyes shoot open and her heart accelerates. Fuck, she saw something. She pretended she didn’t or convinced herself it was a mistake. Ivy’s known something was wrong and her human brain refused to accept what was right in front of it, choosing to remain blissfully ignorant.
“Henry? ”
She’s shaking. The color drains from her face. She’s staring at me like I’m going to save her. She hopes I’ll save her. She thinks I’m her salvation.
“I’m the same person, Ivy. Still the same. Nothing is different.”
“I didn’t see anything.”
Ivy’s trying to deny what she needs to accept. For the first time, she’s faltering. She’s stepping back from something terrifying and my heart shatters, knowing I’m the thing she fears. I’d never hurt her, never harm her. I’d hope she’d trust me to feed from her, but I’d never risk her life.
Other pets, yes. Not her. Never her.
And clearly, she doesn’t.
“We both know you did, lea.”
She shakes her head. “I was panicking. I hadn’t had enough to eat. I was delirious.”
I tense as she repeats the lies she’s convinced herself are true. Ivy’s lived a lie to bring us together and now I must shatter it. Shatter her. I wanted to before. I craved the exquisite agony of breaking her down until she was mine to mold. I broke her. I destroyed her. And now I’d do anything to stop it from happening again.
“That isn’t true, Ivy.”
The silence is deafening. My heart that started beating for her stops and I don’t know what to do. I know what must be done. I know the path I need to walk. I need to find the courage to do it and to catch Ivy before she falls from my grasp.
Fuck, this is a train wreck.
Fuck, I’m still not ready.
Fuck, I’m going to lose her.
“This is where you tell me you’re not who I think you are, isn’t it?” she says very carefully. Too carefully.
I nod and pray she has the courage to do what needs to be done.
“It’s where you tell me you’re not a nice person.”
“To others, no. But I’ll always protect you, always keep you safe, Ivy. You shouldn’t fear me.”
Please don’t.
The little girl who’s sitting in my lap sweeps aside my confidence and experience, rendering me as helpless as a child. She’s everything. She’s all I want. She’s all I need. She’s home.
“You’re running some sort of criminal organization, aren’t you?”
My mouth falls open and tears flood her eyes.
I’m speechless.
I’m numb.
I’m reeling.
She’s fucking continuing before I can stop her.
“It’s why the castle is away from everywhere else, why those strange men live here with you. It’s why you have so much money and the goddamn paintings, Henry. It’s why you leave for hours and won’t tell me what you’re doing.”
Damn, it’s logical, but it’s completely wrong.
“It isn’t.”
She stiffens.
“Ivy, the world isn’t the way you think it is. It’s not pleasant. It’s full of people making their way through life, completely oblivious to what’s going on around them. To the reality hidden from them.”
She swallows.
“Not everyone is who or what they appear. There are so many things to tell you, so many things to show you. So much I wish I could protect you from.”
She sobs.
“Ivy, maybe it’s easier if I show you.”
Her fingernails dig into me and her lip trembles.
“I’m still the same, Ivy. I still adore you. I haven’t changed. You’re just seeing what’s underneath. What’s always been there.”
She nods.
I let my fangs extend and my face shifts. The features elongate and become harsher, sharper. More feline, like a panther. Beautiful, intoxicating, lethal. My nails turn into claws and the blue of my irises will have changed to reflect how well-fed I am. Right now, I’ve made sure I’m fed—and they’ll be as red as the ruby on her finger.
Ivy freezes, going into a flight or fight response. Her eyes lock onto me as she struggles against what she’s seeing. She’s confused, panicked and terrified. Her heart’s pounding and she reeks of terror. Of the unadulterated, primeval horror she’s experiencing as she realizes she’s sitting on the lap of a vicious predator.
“Henry?”
“Ivy.”
“What… are… you?”
I arch an eyebrow and she draws another stuttered breath.
“You don’t eat, you don’t sleep. Not much. You’re strong, too strong. Ryan too. And Matt. You look like that,” she says, pointing her shaking fingers at me. “But you go outside…”
“When you’ve been around for a few centuries, the light stops bothering you. ”
Her mouth forms a small but perfect circle and she nods.
Her eyes narrow and I’m losing her. She’s pulling away, retreating from me as her fear takes hold. I can’t risk losing her. I can’t bear the thought of being without her.
“Please, Ivy. Don’t do this.”
“Do what, Henry?”
I lean forward and she flinches. “Pull away from me. You’re my wife, Ivy. I adore you. I need you. Don’t hide from me.”
Her grip loosens and panic takes hold of me until she runs her hand down my chest.
“Like you hid from me?”
Fuck .
She drives a stake through my heart and I’m broken.
With five little words, she’s wounded me more than anyone else in all the centuries I’ve lived. Through all the pain of everything I’ve borne and witnessed, I’ve never endured this agony—and I’d bear it a thousand times over to make it right. With her. For her.
“I was trying to protect you. From getting hurt. By me. By this. At least that’s how it started and then I couldn’t risk losing you. You’re everything. Every-fucking-thing to me.”
She stares at me, emotionless.
“Why me?”
“Occasionally, we’re granted a soul to complete ours. It’s rare for vampires. Exceptionally rare, lea. You’re not my soulmate. You’re the missing piece of my soul. You’re the part of me I lack, the part I can’t be whole without—as I am to you. It’s why you’re drawn to me. It’s the pull you think is simple attraction. It’s more, so much more than that, and I…” I stare at her and take the leap of faith she took weeks ago. “I would give ev erything—anything—for you, Ivy. You’ve got to know. Tell me you know that?”
Ivy meets my gaze and the color of her irises changes as pupils dilate. She’s reached a decision and there’s only one way forward now she’s made her choice. She’s chosen her path and it will be as hard or easy as she decides it needs to be.
“I know. I’ve always known. In a way.”
Her words are ambiguous but they’re certain. Sure. As clear as a bell in the chaos of our emotions. My heart’s been dead for a thousand years, but it’s pounding in my chest, beating for her, to her tune. She’s given me a rare and beautiful gift, and her acceptance of who and what I am is more precious than any possession.
Her hand lifts off my chest and she holds it millimeters away from my face. It’s agony. It’s excruciating. It’s unbearable and yet I hold, certain one movement from me will destroy us.
This is my test and I’m damn well going to pass it.
“This hurts more than when you slapped me.”
“You were being an asshole.”
“Some would say I still am.” I pause. “Being an asshole.”
A hint of a smile emerges at the corner of her perfect mouth. Ivy sighs and the girl who holds the power to destroy me in a single heartbeat does the most remarkable, surprising thing I’ve ever seen—she blinks and runs her fingertips down my face, offering me redemption and letting me make her my home.