27
LEFT STANDING
HENRY
I stare at the video feed again, watching Ivy move around my bed. I refused to let her sleep anywhere but in my room. Even its comforts haven’t stopped her from being stiff and sore, and really fucking tired. The doctor assured me she’d sleep for the entire day, even after all the blood he’d given her.
Fuck, yesterday was close.
I’ve listened to the high-ranking coven members and I issue instructions. Like Rowan, we need to rebuild. Unlike him, we’ll be back to strength quickly and then we’ll take whatever goddamn steps are necessary to ensure we’re not caught off guard again. We need to be stronger and our security will be ramped up.
This is a war footing and I’m not taking chances again.
My orders are clear and my intentions are unequivocal .
We’re going to tackle Rowan head on and we’ll need to increase our numbers. Fighting is an unpleasant business and they have numbers. We can build fast, but I’d rather be a little discerning, especially given how vampires turned in haste or error tend to come back to bite you in the ass.
Ryan and I destroyed our sire in the end, and I won’t exchange one enemy for another.
Ivy sighs and moves, adjusting herself against the pillow. Damn, she’s awake and I’m not there. The doctor saved her life but he was wrong about her recovery and now she’ll wake to see Matt at her side.
“GET. OUT.”
Vampires race out of my office, departing with their instructions. They know better than to cross me when I’m riled and my anger inflames as Matt moves closer to Ivy. I flick my eyes to his partner, who’s resting uncomfortably against the wall. Ryan’s suffering and I don’t give a single shit.
Ivy smiles at Matt, and he has the decency to look flustered.
“Rough night?” she asks, jokingly.
Matt doesn’t smile. He looks awful. His hair’s ruffled and his eyes are sunken. There are no wounds or bruises, but he’s cut up inside and Ryan’s situation is killing him. Silver is an apt punishment, and the constant burning will remind Ryan to never forget who and what Ivy is to me.
“How bad?” she asks.
“Henry will be here in seconds. He’s fucking furious. With Ryan. He’s my partner, Ivy. You might not understand what happened, but I’m begging you. Please. If there’s anything you can do for him…”
I snarl, irritated by Matt’s pleading with my wife. I gave him specific instructions and he’s disregarding them as flagrantly as Ryan. Matt’s hands are shaking and he’s staring at Ivy like she has the power to save him. He wears the look of a man begging for his life and after yesterday, I understand the emotion ripping through him.
I simply don’t care.
It's the morning after the night before, and we’ll have quite the reckoning by the time I’m finished.
Ivy whimpers and I’ve heard enough. I race through the castle, and everyone has the sense to get the fuck out of my way. Seconds later, I’m flying into my bedroom, racing across it as I head for my bed.
Her head lifts and she looks at me. Eyes wide. Eyes bright.
Thank fuck.
Damn. I should have been here. For her. It’s another mistake that’s cost me and I’ve got to stop making them.
“I’m sorry, lea. I had to deal with something. For you. To keep you safe. I wouldn’t have left your side otherwise.”
I’m here now, and it’s a dream and nightmare rolled into one. She’s beautiful and terrifying, soft and hard around the edges. Throughout the night I prayed for this outcome and now we’re here, I’m terrified I’m imagining it.
My hands tremble as I reach for her, patting her arms as another sense tells me she’s alive. Awake. Still here. With me. She looks down and gasps, noticing the bandages for the first time. A plaster covers where the drip was, but there’s a large one wrapped around her wrist, concealing a much nastier wound.
The one Ryan says she gave herself.
Ivy runs her fingertips over it, tentatively touching it, and she’s afraid. She remembers last night and she doesn’t understand much of it. Not fully. The confusion and doubt will make it hurt more .
My fingers wrap around her forearm and I try to reassure her. She ought to find my touch calming, and I’m relieved when she sighs and settles. Ivy isn’t the only one needing closeness right now.
“The doctor said you’d sleep today,” I mutter. “He assured me you’d need at least a day, despite the transfusions.”
Her eyebrows move and she sinks back into the bed, moving over so I can sit next to her. I stare down at her, waiting for her to say something. Anything. Gods, anything other than this agonizing silence.
“Are you okay?” she asks, quietly.
I snort as I catch my breath. Fuck, she’s surprising.
“I’m fine. I’m not the one who almost got themselves killed.”
I’m an idiot. A fucking idiot. Ivy’s been through an ordeal and almost died—and I’m about to give her a lecture. She tenses and prepares herself for the tirade she’s expecting.
This isn’t reasonable. I’m aware my anger is a mask for my fear. She deserves better from me and I sigh, forcing myself to cool. My shoulders sink as I relax and she looks surprised, prompting a smile to break across my face.
Ivy’s not the only one full of surprises.
“Never again, lea. Never do anything so fucking stupid.”
My smile widens and I catch sight of Matt lurking in the shadows. He’s rigid and tense, keeping his distance and doing everything he can to avoid provoking me. My temper’s running hot and even being near to Ivy might not stop me from lashing out at him.
“This isn’t my fault,” she says, defiantly.
I purse my lips.
“You were told to stay in your room. You didn’t. ”
“I didn’t have a choice.”
“You did and you chose badly.”
Ivy pulls her hand away and crosses her arms. The little girl who defied all expectations huffs and the muffled sound is as devastating as an earthquake.
“Matt should have stayed. He should have kept you here. You were safe.”
Ivy’s eyes narrow. “He didn’t. He couldn’t. I wasn’t.”
Maybe it’s the blood running through her that’s made her so defiant, or perhaps she’s lashing out after coming so close to death. Ivy knows I won’t tolerate bad manners and normally she’d be pushing her luck. But there’s nothing usual about today and I tilt my head, asking her to tell me what it is she’s holding back.
“Are we going to talk about it?” she asks.
I don’t want to. I want to hold her. Breathe her in. Touch her and stroke her. Smell her, taste her.
“About what?”
Ivy stares at her hands and presses them together.
“The part of last night where Ryan saved me.”
I growl and she jumps. I don’t mean to scare her, but my reaction is primal. I’m a possessive asshole. It’s my nature and I can’t change it, even if I wanted to—and Ryan’s interference has made me territorial.
He’s the last thing I want to talk about and my wife is raising a topic that’ll only make me more vicious. More possessive. She’s looking at me, well aware of the emotions flooding through me—the anger and jealousy, the hurt and fear—and she’s pressing on, taking this conversation onto a topic others wouldn’t dare discuss.
“We don’t have to talk about him. ”
I’m deflecting. Offering her an out in the hope she takes it and saves me from this gods’ awful conversation.
“I think we should.”
If she was standing, she’d be stamping her little foot in protest. All my experience is swept aside, counting for absolutely nothing as Ivy refuses to have any of my excuses. She’s breathtaking like this. Fierce. Confident. Determined.
It’s what saved her life last night.
“Why?” I ask.
“Because you’re pissed as fuck with him,” she snaps back. “And because he’s loitering in my doorway looking half dead and I demand to know what is going on.”
My mouth falls open. I turn my head around and stare at Ryan, who is indeed standing in the doorway, looking half dead as he leans against the doorframe. The silver’s taking its toll and yet he’s dared to follow me up here, dared to taint this room with his presence.
After yesterday, he should know better.
He does know better.
He’s here and it’s an affront.
But it’s not the most shocking thing about what just happened. Ivy demanded to know what was going on, daring to swear as she insisted I answer her. And my heart moved, shifting on its axis as all the stars in my universe shifted for her.
Just for her. Because she asked it of me—and without hesitation, I rewrote the laws that govern me and rearranged the constellations in my orbit. For her.
She commanded me and I obeyed.
The Master obeyed the pet.
It’s unheard of it. It’s unthinkable. It’s unnatural .
I wouldn’t have it any other way.
“Ryan made a mistake and needs to pay for it. Atonement is part of a coven, part of our culture. This is Ryan’s and he accepts it because I am Master here and I have decided it is right.”
Her lips twitch. “It isn’t.”
Ivy’s eyes shine with an emerald so vivid it’s startling. She’s furious and a pulse of jealousy as green as her irises pours into me.
“You’re taking your anger out on him. You’re punishing him for your mistake, Henry. How is that fair?” She pauses. “Or reasonable?” She swallows and makes a dangerous choice. “Or justifiable? Or worthy? Why should any of us obey you when we don’t respect you?”
Fucking hell, she’s tearing into me.
Anyone else would have my hand around their throat right now. I’d be squeezing the life out of them if they drew breath. Heads would be rolling, quite literally. But I’m staring at the girl who commands my heart, unable to bear the agony she’s inflicting on me, certain I want nothing more than to make her happy.
“It’s more complicated than you think, Ivy.”
“Try me, Henry.”
I stand and pace, trying to find the words to explain to her how this works. She’s so innocent, so na?ve. So damn trusting and this isn’t straightforward. It’s not simple and I don’t want to scare her.
I don’t want to scare myself—and, fuck, I don’t even know what it is I’m most angry about. I’m so damn livid I can’t make head nor tail of the mess, and I’m seething, irritated I’m justifying my decision. Justifying my feelings.
It’s been a long time since this happened .
I never explain myself and even Ryan doesn’t hold me to account. Yet this fragile human with the heart of a lion dares to roar, challenging me and forcing me to confront the unenviable, undignified truth.
I’m angry Ryan took something from me. That she offered him something she hadn’t offered to me. She let him drink from her, willingly, and without fear, going off her current behavior.
He risked her life, but he wouldn’t have had much control and I could forgive him if it wasn’t my wife. My mate. If she hadn’t given him her blood and memories, sharing that connection with him instead of me.
“Ah,” she says and her eyebrow arches, accusing me of everything stirring inside me. “Start talking, Henry. Before I do it for you.”
I’ll be damned if she labels me a coward as well as a liar.
“He risked your life, lea. He’s bound to me and sworn to keep you safe. Ryan broke his word and actions have consequences.”
Ivy adjusts herself. “I broke my word when I left the room. Matt broke his word when he went to check on what was happening. I don’t see either of us being punished…”
Dear gods, Ivy’s vicious.
Heaven help the soul dares to cross her. Ivy’s meeting me as an equal, standing toe-to-toe with me despite all my years of experience, and she won’t be moved. She might be the submissive, but there’s nothing timid about her.
She’s magnificent. She’s found her claws and she will not be quiet. She hasn’t even needed to accuse me of lying to strip away all pretense that there’s anything else going on.
“Did you want to try again?” she asks.
I don’t .
But I turn and my eyes dart between her and Ryan. Both of them are locked on me and at least they’re not sharing anything more after yesterday.
“He almost killed you. He almost took you from me, Ivy. You almost died and I cannot allow that to go unpunished.”
Her head tilts. “He also saved me. Risked his life for me. I’d be dead if it wasn’t for him, Henry. We both know I couldn’t have survived against six vampires on my own.”
Matt and I shift our weight, and I snarl at him. He retreats to the shadows and leaves me to my seething as I pace the floor, trying to find a way to explain to Ivy precisely what has me so riled.
I’m not even sure I know myself.
“He drank from you.”
She exhales and waits.
“Do you understand what that means, lea?” I continue. “He had access to your memories and could take any of them from the amount he drank. It’s a fucking violation—and now he refuses to tell me what he learned.”
She nods as my hands tighten into fists.
“Was it willing, lea?” I ask, bitterly. “Did you let him drink from you freely? Did you offer yourself to him?”
Ivy’s gaze meets mine and there’s no shame, no remorse. She looks me dead in the eyes and doesn’t flinch, making my stomach tighten. Everything hinges on this moment and I can’t bear the agony if she breaks my heart.
“He was dying, Henry. Ryan’s head was almost separated from his body. I had to do something, try something.”
My knuckles whiten as my jealousy takes hold and I grip the wood of the bed hard, making it creak under the strain.
“So, you offered it freely? You deny me but give to him? ”
Ivy doesn’t move and she’s not shrinking away. I’m furious, on the verge of losing all control and tearing the world apart—and she’s taking it in her stride. It’s infuriating. It’s enraging me. It’s fucking magnificent and I can’t help but admire her. Her actions are reckless and stupid, but they’re brave as shit, and Ivy displays a rare courage that defies all expectations.
“What is it you’re upset about, Henry?” Her voice is scarily soft and it startles me. “Because this isn’t about Ryan. Not really.”
My eyes narrow and I lean my weight into my grip.
Ivy’s fucking right. She’s seen through all the bullshit and this comes down to one thing. One fucking thing.
“You trusted him when you wouldn’t trust me.”
She sits still. Perfectly still. In silence. The kind that screams I’d better keep going.
“You trusted him to drink from you, and I cannot forgive him for it. He accepted your offer and destroyed what we’ve built. He’s intruded on our bond, our connection, our relationship—and you trust him more than me.”
The room is thick with tension and even Ivy could hear a pin drop. Our eyes are locked and neither of us blinks, both determined to press our point. I’m hurt, wounded, and fucking devastated. She’s calm, controlled, and completely certain.
We’ve switched roles and the irony isn’t lost on me. In the storm swirling around us, she’s calling me home. She’s tethering me, holding the center as I spiral and my emotions collide with reality.
“Do you trust Ryan?” she asks.
I shake my head.
“Try again, Henry. Until yesterday, did you trust Ryan?”
I grit my teeth. “Yes—and he fucking betrayed it. ”
Ivy’s head tilts as she raises a finger and demands I stop talking.
This is pointless. She’s dragging the agony out and my temper’s flaring, about to break through whatever barrier’s holding it back.
“Absolutely?” she asks. “Yes or no?”
“Yes.”
She takes a breath and her expression softens. “Then why wouldn’t I trust him?”
Confusion.
I’m caught in pure confusion. It’s overwhelming. All-consuming. She’s telling me something and I don’t understand it. There’s a logic in her train of thought and I’ve lost the strands, unable to follow the path she’s asking me to walk.
“I don’t understand what Ryan is to you, Henry, but he’s more like a brother than a best friend. You’re inseparable—and you trust him. Absolutely.” She waits until she’s sure I won’t catch up with her. “So, if you trust Ryan and I trust you…”
Fuck.
Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck.
Far too late the pieces snap into place and I understand what the last few minutes have been about. She doesn’t trust Ryan more than me. She trusts him because of me. Ivy took a leap of faith, and she wasn’t taking it with Ryan. She placed her trust in me and my judgment, and that’s why she acted.
The blood drains from my head and I stare, astounded by the girl who clung to life last night and gave me mine back today. Ivy sinks further into the bed and my tension eases now the woman I didn’t want but is the only thing I care about sets me free. I’m at peace, certain of her devotion and sure it’s as strong as mine.
“Can we get those awful things off him now? ”
I dare to flick my eyes back to Ryan, wincing as he shuffles uncomfortably while the silver burns his skin and depletes his strength. Damn, I’ve been an idiot. A barbaric, vicious idiot.
And like the imbecile I am, I can’t find my words, and I resort to nodding. I obey as my human pet demands. I hand any keys over to Matt and stare in disbelief when he follows her command, undoing the shackles on his partner. Ryan collapses into his arms, and Matt wastes no time in picking him up and carrying him to safety.
I’m left standing in the middle of my room. There’s nowhere left to run. Nowhere left to hide. Ivy’s striped me bare and seen through all my layers. She’s exposed all my weaknesses, discovered all my flaws and seen me for all I am. Ivy doesn’t know all the terrible things I’ve done, but she knows what I’m capable of and she doesn’t flinch, loving me anyway.
She’s perfect.
She’s my rare and beautiful light in an otherwise dark and torturous lifetime.
She's startling and Matt was right. She’s way above me.