26
NOT FORGIVEN
HENRY
I decapitate another vampire and it’s fucking tedious. I’ve been fighting for hours and Rowan’s coven will be depleted. It was a mistake to rush to attack him when Ryan first noticed the threat. Rowan lured us out and we’ve had to work to hold our ground and regain our advantage.
Rowan’s coven isn’t weak. They’re strong and well-trained. They’re vicious, but the lower-ranking vampires are stupid, and once we’d stabilized the situation, we’d started picking them off.
The arrival of a second coven was a surprise. I should have seen it coming. Rowan’s usually predictable and some of his moves haven’t been. I should have realized someone else was working with him—or pulling the strings.
We’ll figure it out later.
Now’s not the time .
We need to finish this and I need to get to Ivy. Matt kept her safe in the room until the castle was attacked and made the mistake of letting himself get lured out. He never should have left her and when this is over, I’ll make my feelings on the matter quite clear.
But now’s not the time.
She’s had to run and we’ve been pinned down for far too long. Thank fuck Ryan slipped away and went after her. She’ll run for the woods and if we can finish off these final few fuckers, then I can catch up with them.
Matt launches at a vampire and my coven surges forward. We’ve got the numbers now and they’re attacking as they’ve been trained to—effectively, efficiently, and viciously.
I roar and it’s over minutes later. The remaining members of Rowan’s coven are reduced to dust and I catch a single breath, relieved my coven’s safe. For now, at least.
Even with two large covens, we’ve done enough damage that it’d be suicide to launch another attack. A pact between two covens is unusual, one between three is impossible with all the rivalries, and Rowan and his ally will need to count their losses and rebuild.
Matt stares at me and his eyes dart to the woods.
“Go,” he says. “I’ll hold here.”
I hesitate. He’s made a mistake already and my trust has been eroded a little. Matt catches it and I’m sure it stings. I don’t give a damn. He put Ivy at risk and now she’s out there, possibly fighting for her life.
“Go. For fuck’s sake go.”
My body turns and I call for some of the coven to follow me. I should be more than capable of dealing with whatever lies ahead, but I’ve been caught out once already today.
This was supposed to be Ivy’s day. It’s become a goddamn mess.
I race through the castle grounds, sweeping through the courtyards and formal gardens as if they were insignificant. I'm faster than the rest of the coven and I’m already ahead of them by the time I’m sprinting across the lawn.
The woods loom and I catch Ivy’s scent. She was afraid when she ran and she was moving quickly. For a human. Not for a vampire and if anyone was chasing her, they’d have caught her by now.
It’s enough to cause a flash of panic and I run faster, charging past trees and through the undergrowth. I’m gaining ground and her scent gets stronger, but other smells catch my attention. In a fucking bad way. There’s dust and dirt. Sweat and tears. The smell of iron and copper.
That means there’s blood.
Human blood.
Its metal tang is invigorating, and there’s a hint of ecstasy in the subtle mix of the smell of blood. Fuck, it’s Ivy’s. That’s why it’s so damn intoxicating and it’s setting me alight. I’m exhilarated by the scent of my mate’s blood, even though she’s injured. I’m caught between my primal excitement and my self-loathing and disgust as I run toward her, praying she’s alive.
I charge into a clearing and see a sight I never thought I’d witness. It shocks me to my fucking core and I stare in disbelief. I blink, questioning whether I’m seeing what the fuck my eyes tell me I’m seeing.
Ryan is cradling Ivy, and her lifeless body hangs in his arms. There’s blood dripping from his face. He’s full of color when she is pale. He’s alive and she’s barely breathing—and there’s blood on her wrist.
He’s fucking holding her .
He’s fucking fed from her .
He’s taken what’s mine and he’s fucking hurt her .
“WHAT. THE. FUCK?”
His eyes snap to mine and they’re red. Far too red. He’s drunk and now he’s sated. He’s had his fill and Ivy’s heart is beating so faintly that I’m struggling to hear it.
My anger rises. It’s worse than anger. Worse than rage. I’m beyond furious. I’ve never felt this fucking livid and I don’t know if there’s a word to describe the sheer fury sweeping through me.
“It isn’t what…”
“GET. AWAY. FROM. HER.”
Ryan lowers her to the ground as I charge forward and he backs away in time to avoid my wrath. He’s fortunate I’m occupied with Ivy, and I grab her, pulling her against me as I try to keep her warm. Try to will her to pull through this.
“She gave willingly...”
I turn my gaze to my best friend, the man I’ve lived with through centuries of hell, and my expression is ice cold. He’s betrayed my trust, stolen the most precious thing from me, and risked my mate’s life—and I won’t forgive him.
“I was dying, Henry…”
His voice trails off as my glare cuts him short.
“Do you think I give a fuck?”
Ryan’s head sinks and he drops to his knees, offering his submission. He’s my second and I command him—and now he’s giving me the choice to end his life. The one he’s claiming Ivy saved.
“She stabbed herself, Henry. She dripped her blood into my mouth. I’d be dead if she hadn’t.”
I pull her against me as I tip my head back and roar. Ivy wouldn’t have known the danger she put herself in if that’s what happened. She couldn’t have known a bloodlust would consume Ryan. It’s so potent he’d be unable to hold back. He’d have roused and turned on her, drinking until he’d had his fill or she was dead.
Ryan’s rambling, trying to explain and justify his actions. He’s talking about an ambush and how they were outnumbered. It sounds vicious, but he never should have let it happen. He never should have accepted this from her. From my mate. My wife.
“Ivy,” I whisper.
Her breathing’s shallow and her pulse is quick and faint. She’s clinging on and fighting. She’s brave. Exceptionally brave. But maybe not strong enough to make it through this.
“How long?”
“I stopped a few moments ago,” Ryan says, looking down and away as he shrinks from me in guilt. His shame is deserved and I won’t relieve him of it.
I’ve got more important things to attend to.
The first few minutes after drinking determine the outcome, especially when food’s drained like this. Ivy will either find the strength to pull through this or her heart will give up, buckling under the strain of trying to keep going.
“I’d have turned her if I didn’t think she’d make it.”
I snarl and Ryan shudders.
He’s right though.
Turning her is an option.
One to seriously consider at this point. She’s got little left and letting her drink our blood would save her, albeit in a different form. She’ll turn unprepared and experience the same horror Ryan and I did when we were turned. It’s painful, terrifying and soul-destroying. It scars you in ways you can’t imagine, and I wouldn’t wish it on my worst enemy.
Now, I’m contemplating turning my wife like that because it could be the only thing that’ll keep her alive.
I promised I’d keep her safe.
I promised to protect her.
I failed and now I’m on the verge of breaking another promise. One I made to myself. One I never thought I’d have to break.
There’s often clarity in a crisis and this is mine. I’d do anything to keep her with me. Give anything. Break any and all rules or codes. There’s nothing I wouldn’t do and I’d face anything. I’d walk through the darkest night and valleys of hell for her—and if turning her without her permission is the price I pay to keep her, then my selfish heart knows it’ll do it without hesitation.
“Ivy, stay with me,” I plead.
It’s all I can do. I’m holding my wife and willing her to keep fighting. Praying she finds the strength to pull through this. Most wouldn’t. Most would have succumbed by now.
I pull her sweater back and watch her carotid, noting the faintest flicker of a pulse on her neck. Gods, she’s fighting and she’s slipping from me. Her breathing pattern changes and there’s no rhythm. She’s snatching breaths, gasping for air.
“Henry, I didn’t…”
“SHUT. UP.”
I don’t tear my eyes away from Ivy, staring transfixed as she fights to stay alive. Ryan needs my forgiveness and I don’t have time for it. Not right now and probably not ever. Ivy’s pulse flickers and her heart judders. Fuck, she’s on the verge of giving up and the agony of being this close to death has to be unbearable.
I lift her and sweep her hair back, cradling her head against my chest. I can’t wait much longer and my nerve won’t hold for more than a few seconds. She needs to start recovering or I’ll open my wrist and feed her, forcing her to drink until I’m certain she’ll turn.
She takes a deeper breath and I still.
Her heart jumps and she takes another deep breath.
Ivy’s turning the tide and she’s fighting back, refusing to let her life slip from her. Gods only know how she’s found the determination to claw herself back from the edge and my foolish pride flickers. She’s strong in ways that can’t be made and as her pulse steadies and her heart starts to pump with force, I wonder where she gets it.
My jaw ticks as I wonder if it’s from us.
I’d like to think it is but there isn’t time to indulge my hubris. Ivy’s still in danger and I wrap my arms around her, rocking her as I try to warm her fragile little body.
Ryan strips to his waist and offers me his clothes. I don’t like it. I don’t want it. His scent is faint but it isn’t mine and my possessiveness screams. It’s another abominable violation. But my head is smarter and Ivy needs their warmth, and begrudgingly I wrap them around her.
Ivy’s going to need medical care. Human medical care. We’d stocked up on supplies and Ryan made sure we had basic training. I doubt that includes blood transfusions. We’ve got a vast supply, but I don’t know if we can get it into her—and she’s lost too much to carry on for long.
“Get the doctor.”
Ryan’s on his feet and backs away, bowing his head as he retreats. He knows this isn’t done and he’s not forgiven. He stares one last time and turns, racing back towards the castle and leaving me holding Ivy.
“Why did you do it?” I whisper under my breath .
I stand and start carrying Ivy back, talking to her as I pay attention to her every movement. She warms a little but not as much as I’d like and although her heart’s still going, it’s far from strong. Ivy’s still loitering on the verge of another collapse and our progress isn’t as fast as it could be because I’m forced to stop and plead with her to keep fighting.
The terror washing through me is unlike any I’ve known. She could die and I can’t bear the thought of being without her. Turning her will save her, but I doubt she’d forgive me and the next few centuries would be agony. She’d suffer and I’d hate myself.
I’ve already made my decision and I keep watch, making sure she stays on the right side of near death. I can’t afford to make a mistake. Not when there’s this much at stake. Not when Ivy’s future depends on it.
We emerge from the woods and I carry her into the castle, relieved and afraid of what we’re going to face. She’s made it this far, but that’s no guarantee of survival and human life is fragile.
Ivy’s fought hard and now it’s my turn to fight the demons that haunt me and I’ll need the same strength as her to make it through tonight.