Chapter 19 #2
My body was trembling by the time the sun cleared the horizon, heavy with exhaustion.
Shade supported my weight and lifted me into his arms so smoothly my body barely jostled.
He tucked me back into bed, then dragged a large armchair from the corner of the room to sit beside it.
Taking my hand in his, he brought it to his mouth and kissed it.
His lips lingered, the hummingbird in my stomach soaring as a wave of warmth flooded me, heating my skin.
Our eyes met, and I knew then he felt it.
The same pull I did. The incessant need to be close.
It was more than fate, more than the deep magic connecting us through the lamp.
My soul recognized something in his. We were tied together, unable to be separated.
I knew from the first moment I laid eyes on him, he would destroy me.
If I fell into this feeling, what would it do to my future?
To Eleanor’s future? How could I protect her if I was so thoroughly distracted by Shade, wrapped up in him.
“I heard you.” His voice was husky, full of an emotion I couldn’t identify. “In the lamp, I heard you sing to me.”
“I wasn’t sure,” I whispered, satisfaction warming my heart. I had given him something more than loneliness in those moments. Then I bolted upright, hissing as the movement tweaked my injured ribs. “Did you hear? When the king …?”
Gods, if he had heard, been witness to the shameful way Terym had attacked me …
“No.” Shade placed his hand on my shoulder, lowering me back so I was more comfortable. “I didn’t hear.”
Relief flooded me, and I relaxed back against the pillows. “Then how did you hear me sing?”
“I think because you wanted me to.”
We were silent for a moment, letting everything those words implied settle between us. His eyes roved over me, tightening when he took in the dark bruises. “Why did he do it?”
Voicing it would make it real, and I wasn’t sure I was ready for that. I wanted to luxuriate in this small moment with Shade, pretend the world outside these doors didn’t exist, but I couldn’t do that. Eleanor was counting on me, and to keep her protected, I needed to find a way to escape.
“Terym, he—” I swallowed thickly, trying to find the right words. To admit how severely I destroyed my own path. “He ordered me to marry him and didn’t take it well when I told him no.”
Shade went still, even his swirling smoke didn’t move as pained eyes searched mine. “Will you marry him?”
“Not if I can help it.” I would need to play my part; I couldn’t risk Eleanor being hurt. “He wasn’t worried about the wishes; he implied that my … virginity didn’t have a bearing on them.”
A pained growl escaped him at my words. The sound so anguished it took me by surprise, shooting straight to my heart, piercing through my carefully crafted walls to the soft center within. He leaned his forehead onto our joined hands. “Use a wish. Let me protect you.”
“Do I have to remain a virgin?” The momentary hope filling my chest diminished when Shade’s agonized eyes met mine, the swirling silver the brightest I had seen from him. The smoke surrounding his body took up agitated movements, their previous stillness forgotten.
“Virtue is only a requirement of the initial retrieval of the lamp. Using them could last a lifetime if you wanted them to.” His words were so quiet I struggled to hear them, the pain coating them evident. It was clear he hated the stipulation, that it endangered me.
“But they must be tangible? And I must be in the sun to make them?” If I could find a way outside, even with my guard, I could make a wish to get away, to take Eleanor away.
“Only at its highest point does the sun provide enough energy from Vanimalis to grant a wish.”
“Could I wish us away? Me and Eleanor?”
He tilted his head slightly as he considered this. “If I were touching you both, I could fly you a distance. But I couldn’t simply make you disappear in one place and reappear in another.”
“What about the king’s power, could I remove him from the throne?”
Shade shook his head. “It would involve manipulation of an entire kingdom’s people, changing minds and laws. It’s not possible.”
Flying away was the best option. I just had to get Eleanor and be outside, in the middle of the day, without the king knowing.
“I can get you out.”
I was shaking my head before he finished speaking. “I can’t leave without my sister, but we’ll find a way. Until then, I have to go along with the king.”
Shade closed his eyes for a moment, and my heart shuddered. This hurt him. We could never happen, not with my responsibilities bearing down on me, but I couldn’t stand hurting him like this. When they opened again, there was no judgment there. Only clear understanding.
“I can still protect you. Don’t send me back into the lamp, and I can stop him from hurting you again.”
So many questions filled my mind at his declaration. I didn’t voice any of them, didn’t want to ruin this moment of closeness between us.
“If he orders me …” The rest of my sentence hung unsaid between us. He knew I would have to do it. It was clear he suspected more to my reasoning for protecting Eleanor, more than just sisterly protection.
“Then keep the lamp close. If you’re in danger, release me.” His eyes pierced mine, and I couldn’t deny him. Not this. Not when I couldn’t give him anything else.
“I’ll do what I can.”
His shoulders loosened, and I just hoped this promise would be easier to keep than the last one I made.
The storm in his eyes calmed, and I leaned closer to him. After the past day, I was drained, with no energy left to fight the attraction always consuming me when it came to Shade.
He didn’t pull away. We were so close our breaths intermingled in the air between us. I inhaled his intoxicating scent, so strong with our proximity, it was all I wanted to breathe for the rest of my life.
Gods, I wanted him closer. I wanted to touch him. Kiss him.
I shouldn’t, it would only hurt us both, but I couldn’t resist temptation. Not today.
My eyes fluttered closed when soft lips brushed mine. A light touch, like he wasn’t sure if he should. Sparks flew the moment our lips made contact, and I whimpered desperately. It snapped Shade’s control, and he pressed forward, deepening the kiss.
Logic fled. My entire being zeroed in on the feeling of his lips as they caressed my own. The sharp sting of pain from the split on my lip only heightened my need, and I gripped the back of his neck, tugging him closer and drawing a low groan from his throat.
I opened for him, and he invaded my mouth, his tongue a searing exploration. A claiming.
Gods. His touch was everything, and I craved more. I wanted his skin on mine. I wanted him to touch me in ways no one else ever had. To feel him under my hands.
I shifted, intending to climb onto his lap, and the door burst open.