Chapter 10
Break point
JUDE
I wake slowly, my mind heavy with the haze of sleep. My first thought is confusion. This bed isn’t mine. The sheets are softer, smoother, and they smell of the richness of the earth and the freshness of the first rain, a scent that’s both unfamiliar and comforting.
It’s only when I shift slightly that I realize I’m not alone.
There’s a weight beside me, and an arm loped over me. The warmth of a body radiating against my side.
Lorien.
I freeze, my breath catching in my throat. I’m relieved it isn’t one of those shadows that haunt me, but memories from last night flood back, fragmented but vivid.
His hands on me.
My hands on him.
The way I didn’t resist, didn’t fight, and how terrifyingly natural it all felt. I remember the heat in his golden eyes, the satisfaction in his voice as he guided me, and most of all, the way I responded to him.
Not out of fear, but out of want.
And the promise I made to fight less.
I swallow hard, my throat dry, my heart pounding.
The room is quiet, save for the soft sound of Lorien’s breathing, steady and unhurried.
I glance over at him, careful not to move too quickly.
He’s lying on his side, facing me, his dark hair slightly mussed, his face softened by sleep.
He looks almost human like this, almost vulnerable.
It’s a stark contrast to the predator I’ve come to know, and I can’t decide if it’s comforting or unnerving.
I can’t decide what I’m doing.
I should be afraid. I should feel shame, certainly regret. I should feel anything other than this strange restless calm that settles over me.
But I don’t.
Instead, I feel safe. Safer than I’ve felt in a long time, and that thought is almost more unsettling than anything else.
There’s only one thing more disturbing, and that’s the fact that I’ve found acceptance.
This hellish kingdom is dark and unknown, but I’ve found something in the few days I’ve been here that I couldn’t find in my world in all of my lifetime.
Carefully, I slide out from under the sheets, making sure not to disturb him.
My muscles ache as I stand, a reminder of how tense I was last night and how much I gave to him.
The air is cool against my skin, and I realize I’m still naked.
My clothes are still nowhere to be seen, but there’s a robe draped over a nearby chair.
I put it on, tying it loosely around my waist and enjoying its softness.
I need to clear my head, to wash away the lingering weight of last night. My gaze falls on a doorway at the far end of the room, slightly ajar. Steam wafts through the crack, as does the faint trickle of water.
A bath.
Another one.
The idea is tempting enough to drown out any second thoughts and the shadows lurking at the edges of my vision.
They’ve been darkening and I find myself jumping at nothing, turning to find that there’s nothing waiting for me instead of the presence I expect to find.
I’m losing my mind, seeing things that aren’t there and I need to find my center, find some calm.
So I wander into the enormous bathroom, still struck by the opulent black marble shot through with veins of gold and the massive pool.
Everything is shimmer and sparkle, everything is perfection, and it’s all as dark as night.
The air closes around me, thick with the scent of rosemary and herbs, heavy with the weight of the steam rising from the pool.
I step to the edge, shrugging off the robe and letting it fall to the floor. The water is as perfect as yesterday, and my body aches for its soothing heat. I slip in slowly, its warmth enveloping me, and yet again, the rest of the world melts away.
I close my eyes and let out a long sigh, enjoying the release as my muscles begin to unravel. My mind too, and it wanders back to last night.
To Lorien.
And his touch.
His kiss.
His cock.
The merman is a monster, but he’s a beautiful one.
His rules don’t make much sense and yet there’s a reason for everything he does.
He’s cruel and harsh, and soft and tender, and his words stir my soul in a way that no one else’s ever had before.
He’s good at controlling and manipulating others, but I feel freer with him than with anyone else, or at any other time.
A strange calm settles over me and I sink into the water, letting it rise as I drop into its warmth.
And my peace shatters in an instant.
The door to the bathing room bursts open with a thunderous crash, and I nearly jump out of my skin.
Lorien storms in, his eyes blazing, his entire body radiating fury.
He glances around and those golden irises burn with anger as they lock onto mine, their heat as volcanic and dangerous as any explosion or force of nature.
“What the fuck are you doing?” he roars, his voice echoing off the marble walls.
I blink, frozen in place, as he strides towards me.
“I asked a fucking question. Answer me.”
“Taking a bath?” I mumble.
My voice comes out smaller than I intended, and my words sound ridiculous, even to me.
His nostrils flare and the shimmer of his skin ripples with a darkness that could come from the depths of the ocean. He’s marching across the room with intent and in the blink of an eye he’s standing at the pool’s edge, towering over me with a presence meant to intimidate.
“Did I give you permission to leave my bed?” His chest heaves with barely restrained anger.
I shake my head.
“What the actual fuck are you playing at?” he snarls.
“I didn’t think I needed permission…”
His eyes narrow, and in an instant, he’s in the water, moving faster than I can react.
I was sorely mistaken if I thought he was powerful before now, on the ground, because in the water he’s insanely strong.
His body was designed for this world, built to cut through the water and withstand its pressure.
I barely have time to catch my breath before he pushes me back onto the side of the pool, his body caging mine in, his face inches from mine.
“You told me you’d stop fighting me.”
I back up and there’s nowhere to go. My back arches and I can’t get away from him, not when he has me trapped between him and the marble behind me. In the water. Where he is an unstoppable force.
“I wasn’t…”
He snarls and I shudder.
“I wasn’t…”
“Don’t. Lie.”
I whimper and his eyes narrow, their gold a threat of molten heat and the fires of hell.
“Well?” he roars.
“I was just cleaning up,” I mumble, barely able to hold his gaze.
His grip tightens, and it’s not painful, but it is enough to make his point. I shudder, my heart hammering against my ribs.
“You were sleeping and I didn’t want to disturb you.” I shudder again as he growls and leans closer. “I assumed this was fine after yesterday. I didn’t know this would be a problem. I just wanted to wash. That’s all.”
For a moment, he doesn’t respond. His golden eyes bore into mine, unrelenting, searching for some sign of deceit, some reason to doubt me. But I don’t look away. I can’t.
“You weren’t trying to escape?” he snarls.
I shake my head. “There’s no…”
He curls his lips back and I silence myself instantly. “You weren’t testing me? Disobeying me?”
I shake my head again.
My chest tightens as his words pierce the silence, their edge cutting through my already fraught composure.
I shrink under his stare, my breaths shallow, my heart a wild drumbeat of confusion and panic.
Lorien is no longer the composed, enigmatic figure from last night.
His rage is raw, untamed, like a storm ready to consume me whole.
Yet beneath the fury, I catch flickers of pain, or maybe even panic.
A darkness lingers in his gaze as he fights a war within himself, its effects spilling out in every tense muscle and sharp word.
His presence is suffocating, magnetic, and I can’t decide if I want to run or drown in it.
Gradually, the tension in his body eases a little. His grip on my arm loosens, and the storm in his eyes begins to subside. He exhales sharply, pulling back and running a hand through his damp hair.
“Lorien…”
“Silence,” he says, dipping his head and keeping his eyes locked on me. “Not one fucking word, Jude. Not until I’m calm.”
I nod.
My heart races and I stare at him, completely overpowered, and left floundering again. I don’t know what to do, but I don’t want to be this helpless. This useless. This inept.
My hand reaches for him and my palm presses against his stomach.
Lorien’s muscles tense beneath me and he growls, grabbing my wrist with a force that sends a pulse of pain through me.
“What the fuck are you doing?” he snarls.
“I thought…” I suck in a stuttered breath. “I thought it might help you relax.”
He moves my hand away and a ripple of shame spreads over me. I look down, unsure why I’m so hurt by a man I barely know.
“No,” he says, firmly. “You will not do this, Jude. You will not take this as a rejection. You will take this as the gesture that it’s meant to be, and that is one where I refuse to let myself become any more possessive than I am now.
I won’t let you touch me because it will arouse me, and I won’t fuck you for the first time because you’re feeling guilty or trying to avoid a punishment. ”
Lorien waits until my head rises and I meet his gaze, and we’re both as lost as each other. I’m hurt and he’s wounded. I’m confused and he’s dazed. We’re both on edge and I don’t know if either of us has the strength or sense to pull us out of the whirlpool we’re being dragged down into.
“If you were anyone else, I’d bend you over the side of this pool and fuck you until you beg for mercy and keep fucking you until you know your goddamn place.” Lorien leans closer. “Is that what you fucking want, Jude?”