Chapter 10 #2
I nod, and then I shake my head, and then I realize I’m a complete and utter mess.
The thought of being manhandled, of being taken that hard and aggressively is the most disturbing, filthy, arousing thing I’ve ever heard and I want it.
I want to know what that feels like; I want to experience all that pleasure, all that pain.
All of that helplessness and surrender. But I don’t want my first time to be like that, and I’m just not ready.
Not yet. Not now. It’s too big a step, too much to ask.
And we both know it.
“Fuck, you do,” he hisses. “Tides, if you were ready, I would. I’d shove my cock so far up your ass you could feel it at the back of your throat, and I’d use you like the fucking slave you are.”
I whimper and he smiles, his body leaning in against mine.
“Let’s get a few rules straightened out, pretty boy,” he says, his anger still ebbing away. “First off, you obey me. Unequivocally. Immediately. You eat when I tell you, you sleep when I tell you, you kneel when I tell you, and you fuck me when I tell you.”
I nod.
“Words, Jude. You have a mouth, and you know how to use it.”
“Okay.”
Lorien’s eyes narrow and he isn’t pleased.
“Second, the only title I will accept from you is Master. That is it, Jude. You will use my name only with my specific permission, or if you feel the need to scream it as you come.”
My lips part and I know they’re forming a perfect circle. I’m too stunned to reply, but that won’t stop Lorien. Not when he’s in this mood. Not when he’s in any mood.
“I own you, and you’ll address me properly. You’re my property, my toy, my slave, and my lover. That is your place and you will serve me in all ways, in all things. As I ask, and as I see fit. And in return, you will be treated well and indulged, and you will escape punishment.”
Lorien arches his eyebrow, and he won’t ask again.
“Fine,” I grit.
“Not fucking fine,” he snarls back. “Fine, Master. Yes, Master. Of course, Master. It’s my pleasure, Master. But not fucking fine, Jude.”
I nod. Frantically. Repeatedly.
While trying to ignore the throbbing of my cock as it hardens.
“Yes.”
Lorien waits, his stare a warning that any more disobedience won’t be tolerated.
“Now?” I ask.
“Don’t try my fucking patience, Jude. You don’t want to discover how cruel I can be.”
I swallow, and Lorien stares at me, practically daring me to challenge him. He’s taunting me, exerting complete control and taking away any illusion that I have any sort of power at all.
“Yes,” I mumble and swallow again. “Master.”
“Good boy,” he says, running his hand through my hair. “That was harder than it needed to be. You’ll get rewarded for things that please me, punished when you disobey. I will decide what an appropriate punishment is, and you will thank me when it is over.”
He moves closer and our bodies press against each other.
“You will only come when I give you permission. If you come at any other time, you will tell me, and I will deal with it. Do you understand?”
I don’t know if I want this.
My head doesn’t, but my cock isn’t so sure. It’s getting harder with the thought of being controlled, and I’m already getting dangerously close to being aroused.
“Answer me,” Lorien sighs.
“Yes.” I wait and he tilts his head by the slightest fraction, and that’s all the threat he needs to exert. “Master.”
He presses a kiss onto my forehead, and I almost melt like an idiotic schoolgirl. Lorien has me exactly where he wants me, and it’s confusing. It’s insane. It’s so damn wrong that it’s right and I don’t want anything else.
“I know I am harsh,” he says, carefully.
Far too carefully. “And I know I have a temper. But you will find a way to tell me what you need. You’ll tell me what is bothering you, what you enjoy or do not, and what you are interested in trying.
We will find our way together, and you will not lie to me, Jude. ”
Lorien drops his head and plants a gentle kiss on my lips.
He sighs against them. “I’m not unreasonable, Jude. I know this is difficult for you. The last part, especially. But you will do this, or you will suffer the consequences of your choices.”
Every word he speaks settles over me like a chain, tightening around my neck and wrists.
My body responds in ways I don’t understand, a blend of fear and twisted desire that makes my skin prickle and my mouth dry.
The way he lays claim should horrify me, reducing me to property, a toy, and yet there’s a heat low in my stomach that coils tighter with every command.
It’s wrong, perverse, and I hate myself for the way my pulse thrums, betraying my desire.
But my pride is still there, buried under the weight of his dominance, and I don’t know if I dare to let it go.
“Jude, this world, my world, isn’t safe.
The water here connects to the ocean, and there are more threats in it than you can imagine.
You don’t realize how easily you could get yourself killed.
You could’ve been attacked, ambushed, dragged off by something worse than me.
Follow my rules, Jude, and learn what I’m trying to teach you.
And you’d better have a damn good reason for disobeying me. ”
His lips curve into a faint, humorless smile.
“Don’t disappoint me, Jude. I won’t be lenient next time.”
The word hangs in the air between us, heavier than any threat. I swallow hard, nodding again.
“I understand.”
“I understand, Master,” he corrects, brushing a strand of wet hair from my face in a gesture that feels tender. “Now, let’s get you dressed. You’ve wasted enough of my time this morning.”
He leaps from the pool and offers me his hand, helping me out of the water with breathtaking ease. We stand there, dripping and staring at each other, and the bitter truth is that I’m shaken.
I should hate him.
I should fear him.
I should fight him in every way I can.
But all I feel is the weight of his presence lingering in the air around us and an undeniable need to follow him. To discover the possibilities of him. To surrender to the madness that he offers and experience all that it might lead to, even if that’s to something as terrifying as us.
This world may not be safe, but Lorien will never let anything happen to me. That thought is as terrifying as it is comforting, but it’s time to accept that he is inevitable and undeniable, as is the acceptance I’m discovering through him.