Chapter 21
OF BLOOD AND BONES
NIA
My legs stopped working a while ago and my throat lost its ability to do anything more than scream or rasp. Luke’s been insatiable and the night’s been long. Enjoyable too, a mix of pleasure and pain that’s set me on fire and kept me warm.
There’s still a lot to talk about and even more to figure out.
Luke’s difficult and I’m not easy, and our needs and wants don’t align perfectly. He’s fucking me bare and I don’t want a pregnancy, although my head seems to have accepted this if it happens. My body’s prepared to bend to his will, desperate for more of whatever he’s got to give me.
And the asshole knows the effect he has on me.
He knows I’m already a fan of his cock. And his fingers. And his mouth. Goddess, the things that tongue does when it isn’t spilling filth, and even his dirty words send blood coursing through my clit.
“Do you have one more in you, pretty girl?” Luke asks.
I shake my head and he laughs.
It’s deep and low. It’s a fucking menace.
“Okay, Nia.”
Luke smothers me in kisses as I roll in the dirt beneath me. He’s careful and soft, a contrast from the way he’s been through much of the night. He fucks hard and my body is wrecked, tired in a damn perfect kind of way.
“I’ll let you have a rest,” he says, picking me up as if I’m weightless. “We’ll go back home and get you clean.”
I nod, throwing my arms around his neck and dropping my head onto his shoulders.
“I’ll be getting you dirty afterward.” Luke throws his head back and laughs, carrying me back toward his house. “You’re so pretty painted with my come.”
Vibrations ripple through him into me and I curl against him, enjoying him taking care of me.
It’s comforting. He’s nice. It’s strange when not so long ago Luke was threatening to force me into what I’ve just accepted without hesitation and holding me against my will.
And then there’s the force-feeding and restraints, and there’s not a chance I’m letting him get away with that shit without some major groveling.
I need Luke to know he can’t do that to me. Never again. He has to respect me and he has to listen.
More than that, we need to find a way to trust each other and move past whatever divides us. We need to heal our wounds and understand each other. We need to work out how we didn’t see each other and learn, and I don’t know if Luke’s able to change.
“You okay there, pretty girl?”
I nod.
“Don’t lie, sweetheart,” Luke says. “I sense your anxiety. You’re wondering if we’re going to find our way. You’re wondering what we look like from here.”
“I can’t do it again.”
He grunts. “I know, sweetheart. We’ve got a lot of shit to figure out, but we’re not going back.” His arms tighten and his heart jumps. “You’re going to have to get used to the pack, Nia. They’re going to want to meet you.”
Our hearts race against each other, both fluttering at a frantic pace.
“The female wolves will be keen to get you settled into your role.” He pauses and the moon dips behind a cloud. “They’ve been missing a Luna.”
“My wolf…”
“Lawson will keep calling her, Nia,” Luke says, without any trace of doubt.
“You wouldn’t have felt our bond if she was gone completely.
She’ll be recovering or giving you that space you think you need.
She’ll bond with Lawson and when we trust each other enough, we’ll share each other the way mates should. ”
My weight sinks against Luke’s broad chest.
“What’s her name?”
“Lyall.”
Luke snorts. “Well, that’s appropriate. She’ll come around, Nia. She’s probably a little contrary if her host is anything to go by.”
I lift my head and look through the trees, staring at the clouds as they move over the night sky.
The stars are so much brighter here and their dazzle is a stunning display that is obscured by the deep, dark grey that dares to obscure the heavens.
The shades of darkness fall on me and I lose myself in their dim and confusing shadows, wondering how my wolf was so badly wounded.
“We don’t have to talk about this now, Nia,” Luke says, softly, “but we both know who did this and I won’t let you lie to yourself about it.”
“It doesn’t make sense, Luke.”
His chest rises harshly. “It does if your wolf is enough of a threat to him that he’d rather have you weak than try to use your strength to his advantage.”
My wolf came earlier than most but she’s never been very strong.
Except that one day that I needed her to save us.
She was phenomenal that day but we needed her to be, and one moment doesn’t necessarily mean she’s strong.
It was a crazed and desperate act of survival that was extraordinary and nothing close to it has ever occurred again.
Thank the Goddess.
Lyall’s been with me through more dark and lonely nights than I can count, but she’s only been that vicious once. She’s only been that violent once, and even when we fought back when Luke’s pack attacked, she wasn’t nearly as ferocious.
But maybe she couldn’t be.
Maybe her half-hearted, occasional appearances were all she could manage. It’s possible she was doing all she could despite the poison draining her strength and I shudder, suddenly aware of a sinister possibility that’s almost too horrific to be possible.
Almost.
And that’s the problem.
Luke wasn’t kind and his cruelty was brutal, but he came for me and even a callous mate wouldn’t be vindictive to the point of heartlessness. There’s a logic to the decisions he made and if I was that sick then the food he pushed down that tube kept me alive.
In contrast, my father was never warm but he wasn’t openly cruel.
His hardness was hidden and it was the kind of cold, distant detachment that’s calculated.
My father is ruthless and his malice knows no limits, and he’s got the patience to extract every drop of suffering while he gloats and delights in the pain he’s causing.
“I need to know, Luke.” I hesitate, afraid my question is going to hurt him. “Did you do this to me?”
“No, sweetheart.”
There’s no hesitation and even the dark can’t obliterate the shadows his answer casts over me. I’m certain Luke’s telling me the truth. I know it in the marrow of my bones and the blood that flows from them. My soul knows he isn’t lying and it weeps, screaming in agony as my world falls apart.
Fuck.
“Nia, it’s okay,” Luke says, his head curling down over me. “You’re here now and my pack will keep you safe. Your pack.”
They’re not my pack.
Not yet.
Luke’s offering me all he is but he hasn’t marked me and that’s a noble and stupid gesture.
He should have claimed me as his mate, making damn sure every other male knows I’m his mate.
It’s a mark of protection and warning, and he’s waiting to make sure I’m ready.
To make sure my wolf’s accepted the bond too.
We’re doing this on our own terms and while I adore him for giving me this choice, it means I’m still not part of his pack.
I’m still tied to my father’s pack, and if they were closer then I’d feel them through our bond.
We emerge from the forest and the stars shine, dancing a sad waltz as they swirl through the heavens.
They’re not unkind but their ethereal glow seems spiteful as they shimmer despite the harsh darkness seeping into my soul.
I’m sinking into a night of my own and it might be endless if I can’t escape its eternity.
“The stars shine brighter here,” Luke says, trying to soothe the pain he’s sensing. “It’s because we’re out in the wilderness. Why don’t I fetch a blanket and we can watch them before we clean you up?”
I nod and he places me down on a wooden bench, racing back to the house.
He’s as naked as I am, and just as filthy.
His ass looks spectacular and he’s completely unashamed, entirely free and uninhibited as he sprints over through the garden.
Luke disappears and I turn my attention to the sky above me, watching the stars swirl and the clouds drift.
My chest tightens and a ripple moves through me.
It’s a shudder of sorrow that snaps like a band, and I sigh, certain it’s because Luke left me too soon.
It’s been more than a few hours but that’s still early for mates and the intensity of our connection is meant to keep us together.
It’s meant to pull him into my orbit, just as it’s designed to make me circle him.
Another tinge of hurt washes through me and I sigh.
Luke won’t be long and his presence will ease whatever ache is taking hold.
My anguish grows and its sting smarts, growing more uncomfortable with every passing second.
My head begins to pound as my temple throbs and the beating of my heart deepens, each contraction timing with another wave of grief.
I stare up and count the seconds until Luke returns, certain this will pass as he comes back.
The stars pivot and their colors change, morphing from their bright white light into something more potent.
They’re violet and silver, orange and gold.
They’re neon candles burning through the heavens like fireflies dancing over a pond and the ripples of their reflections hit me, turning my breathing ragged and setting my pulse racing.
My senses heighten and my fingers tighten around the wooden bench, holding onto the only thing that makes any sense.
The world is changing, its pattern thrown out as a new one takes its place.
There’s too much darkness and far too much light.
The colors aren’t as vivid as they used to be and yet they illuminate my vision, lighting up the night with a spectrum I’ve never seen.
Smells change, and the deep, damp earth beneath me reeks of rain and stone, of blood and bones.
There’s death in the garden and yet life pulses through me.
There’s a beat of something potent and I’m dancing to its tune.
A cacophony of hurt and emotion bursts open and my insides shatter, sending me hurtling through space. I scream and my head explodes, the bright light blasting agony through my consciousness as I slip away, sinking into an ether I don’t understand.
Fog descends and yet my vision is still clear.
The haze clouds my cognition but I’m still thinking and still certain.
I stare through the mist and scream, clawing at whatever barrier holds me back—and I scream again, more frantic as the hurt and pain take over in the avalanche of anger that descends.
“Nia.”
“Lyall?”
There’s a beat of silence. A moment of calm in the center of the hurricane. It’s too still and my heart races, certain an explosion is inevitable.
Lyall’s in so much pain that my heart shatters, fractured by the agony tearing through me. She’s broken out of whatever cage kept her contained and there’s no holding my wolf back now she’s free.
She’s found her calling and she is wild.
“He hurt us, Nia.”
“He helped us too, Lyall.”
My wolf snarls and her rage knows no limits.
I rail against the barrier holding me in place but it’s no use.
I’m stuck inside myself, forced to endure what Lyall must have borne.
I’m watching the world pass me by and I can’t change anything.
My actions have no effect. I’m inert, I’m inept.
The only thing I can do is scream and plead with her to see reason.
“He deserves to know what it’s like.”
Fuck.
Lyall’s teeth bare and her eyes lock on the man walking towards us.
Luke’s clothes in sweatpants, carrying a thick woolen blanket.
My wolf tracks him, following every fucking movement with the keenness of a predator lurking in the shadows.
She’s hungry for revenge, and she doesn’t care who bears the brunt of her rage.
“It wasn’t him.”
My pleads make her hackles rise and the hair on the back of her neck stands on end. “You’re defending him? After everything he did? You’re fucking choosing him over us?”
I shake my head and plead with her, begging Lyall to see reason.
But she’s feral and there’s no calming her down.
There’s no sating her need for vengeance and she’s in too much pain to hear me.
She’s wounded and finally free after years of torment, and she’s determined to exact her retribution on anyone who dares to cross her.
Luke races toward us, oblivious to the danger.
Lyall’s focus narrows and she counts the steps, marking the distance before she strikes.
She’s ready to attack and she doesn’t care if he’s our mate.
She’s going to claim her pound of flesh and my wolf waits, biding her time until she’s ready to strike.
“Please.”
My pleas fall on deaf ears and I watch in horror as Luke draws closer and the seconds pass far too quickly as everything slows down. Lyall growls and launches forward, her claws breaking through my hands as they sharpen and prepare to take down their mark.
I scream as Lyall flies through the air and Luke’s eyes widen, darkening as his shoulder pivots and his body moves out of the way. His arm whips around and pain bursts through me as his fist connects with our side and we’re sent hurtling to the ground.
We slide across the damp grass and Lyall sneers as she pulls herself upright. Luke growls back and I realize neither of us is in control. Our wolves have taken over and they’re facing each other, snapping and snarling as they posture for position.
“MATE.”
Lyall growls and shakes her head, grimacing as if the words offend her. She roars and Luke’s wolf steps closer, demanding his mate accept their bond.
“MINE.”
Lyall growls again, stepping back as she retreats from the threat of a dominant wolf who isn’t going to surrender.
“I SAID MINE, MATE.”
Her panic spreads into me as Luke’s wolf makes his claim and Lyall doesn’t know what to do. She’s overwhelmed and in far too much pain to do anything other than hurt, and she keeps moving back as Luke’s wolf tries to move closer.
They’re dancing around each other and not moving together.
Lyall can’t accept Luke’s wolf and her anger boils over as the agony of everything she’s been through becomes more than she can handle.
He reaches for her and it’s the final straw.
It’s the whisper that shatters the cut crystal and the drop of water that causes the dam to burst.
Lyall turns and runs, sprinting back into the woods as I scream at her to see reason and pray no one’s going to get hurt. My legs ache down to their bones and my blood turns to acid, and Lyall ignores it all, pushing into the darkness as we run wild, finally free but absolutely out of control.