Chapter 22
SET HER SOUL ALIGHT
NIA
Lyall isn’t slowing down and her anger burns hotter as lactic acid builds in our thighs.
My stomach tightens and Lyall growls, pushing harder and harnessing the pain.
She’s used to agony and what my body’s enduring isn’t coming close to threatening her endurance.
She’s taken over my body because she can’t use her own, and my legs obey her command, oblivious to my instructions.
Thank fuck we can’t shift.
My wolf growls at me and I shake my head, praying she didn’t hear me. Her aggression surges as Luke’s wolf calls after her, refusing to give up or surrender an inch of ground. He’s fast too and Lyall isn’t pleased, infuriated that he isn’t letting her get away.
“He’s a fucking cunt.”
I smirk before I pull myself together and tell my wolf that she needs to fucking stop. My being claws at the boundary between my person and my wolf, barely making an indention on the barrier keeping us apart.
Lyall howls and races into the woods, channeling all of her rage now she’s finally free. She pushes even harder and tries to force a shift, growling as she tears at the tendons and asks my body to break. It can’t obey her and its refusal only heightens her rage.
The years of hurt have taken their toll and Lyall lets it all pour through us.
She’s borne more pain than I could imagine and I realize she was never weak.
My wolf suffered in silence, unable to turn the tide against a force she didn’t understand, fighting to stay with me every fucking day.
And every day a little more poison dripped into me, coursing through my veins until it weakened her.
She never abandoned me.
She never left me and never stayed quiet out of choice.
She never gave up fighting for me and she’s still fighting now.
My wolf doesn’t know how to rest, and she doesn’t want to learn now.
Lyall doesn’t know how to trust anyone except me and she’s having a hard time hearing me as her panic ignites.
She’s too confused and distressed to listen and the pain of our exertion agitates her more, reminding her of everything that she’s endured.
We’re caught in a vicious cycle. I can’t reach my wolf and she can’t break free. Not from this.
Lyall's emotions explode through us and it's all a jumbled mess. The detonations of pain and despair, longing and forlorn hope shatter my soul and I realize how much she's protected me. I've lived a charmed life, and it was a lie.
The idyllic countryside and beautiful gardens with our festivals and tea served their purpose, and it was dark and sinister.
They covered the horrors lurking beneath the serene surface and Lyall suffered in the shadows as I basked in the summer sun.
Every step we take is another stride away from the fiction of my past and Lyall drives us forward, too damn hurt to do anything but run.
The trees blur as we move past them, becoming as confused as the thoughts and emotions swirling through me and my wolf. I’ve got no idea where we’re going but it’s away from where we were, and Lyall wants to take us deeper into the woods and explore the wild she’s never known.
“What does he want, Nia?”
“We both know what he wants, Lyall.”
She growls. “And what about what I want? When do I get what I want? When will someone finally give a fuck about what I want?”
I swallow and she shudders as guilt and shame ripple through me.
My wolf thinks I've betrayed her and I can't find the words to tell her how I feel.
I've been lonely and miserable, so sad it's hard to describe how bleak it's felt and the easy smiles and carefree laughs were always an illusion.
Just as the perfect pack with the perfect Alpha was an illusion my father constructed.
“Lyall, you've got to slow down.”
“I’m so fed up with you telling me what to do, Nia. It’s always you. It’s always about you and what you want. I’m done being quiet and I’ve had enough of being told what the fuck to do. It’s about time we did what I want, and you’re not going to stop me.”
My wolf growls and we race past more trees, clambering back up a now familiar rock face.
We're heading back to where we started and I can smell Luke all around us.
I can smell myself too, and the scent of us fucking mixes with the dark, damp earth and the rotting leaves that will renew the soil.
This place smells like it's ours and I tremble, unsure if it will calm or rile my wolf.
“You're such a slut, Nia. You didn't even make it hard for him.”
I'm not about to take a lecture from my wolf and the spark of rage causes her to hesitate.
Lyall knows she's gone too far and she sees it through her fury.
She's lashed out at someone she shouldn't have when I didn't deserve it and the tinge of guilt flowing between us comes from her.
It's slowed Lyall down and made her catch a breath, and it might be able to bring her down from her rampage if I can keep her attention.
I've never done this before. I've never even tried this. I've heard other werewolves talk about soothing their wolves but I never thought I'd need to do this. But now we're here and I've got to try because we cannot keep running like this and I can't let her stay in charge.
“I'm here,” I whisper.
“Of course, you're here,” Lyall growls back. “You're always here, Nia.”
I swallow and my mind goes blank. I just don't know how to do this and the bitter truth is that I don't understand my wolf well enough to know how to soothe her. She's usually timid and quiet, presumably because she's been exhausted.
Lyall slows and my chest burns as my body grabs oxygen and tries to repay the debt our exertion has built up.
I try to send soothing thoughts to Lyall and her temper flares again, the heat and fire of her hurt and anger clashing against the soft calm I'm trying to instill.
I plead with her to stop and listen and she catches another deep breath, and then pain erupts through our body as we're tackled to the ground.
My shoulder smarts and my chest heavens, while my hips scream in agony and my back starts to spasm.
Lyall roars and her aggression explodes. I scream as my arms thrash and she claws at the man who's taken us down, punching and slashing at Luke.
Luke isn't in control and the dark blue eyes darken as his wolf becomes even more vicious. His face twists and his teeth bare as the wolf snarls and roars in fury.
“MATE.”
Lyall howls and my hand whips across as she tries to punch Luke. He pulls his head back and his hand catches her fist, wrenching our arm down to our side. Lyall growls and Luke's wolf shakes his head, slowly lowering his head as my wolf protests.
“You are my mate.”
“NO,” Lyall screams and thrashes underneath the weight pinning us down.
Luke’s wolf growls and Lyall snarls back, both posturing and refusing to give an inch.
“Lyall?” he asks and my head shakes in a vain attempt to deny an absolute truth. “Stop fighting this. You’re only making this hard for yourself.”
“FUCK. OFF.”
Luke’s wolf presses down and those dark blue eyes turn to midnight, their specter haunting my soul as they capture our attention. I stare through Lyall’s eyes, seeing what she sees as Luke’s wolf pushes past her defiance and demands that she hear him.
And Lyall isn’t having any of it.
She forces my back to arch and she finds the strength to force Luke off us, somehow clambering out from underneath him. Lyall’s rage boils over and the molten heat of her wrath pours into my movements as she propels me forward and I scramble over the ground.
I’m almost on my feet when a hand grabs our ankle, yanking me back down again.
“Come back here, mate.”
“Fuck off,” Lyall rails, kicking out.
“You’ve got to stop,” I scream at her.
“You don’t tell me what to do,” Lyall screams back.
“Not a chance, sweetheart,” Luke’s wolf says, smirking as his head moves out of the way of every kick Lyall sends his way. “You’re my mate and you’re going to behave like it.”
“Not a goddamn chance,” Lyall screams, thrashing against his hold.
Luke’s face twists into a confident sneer and I shudder, aware his wolf is certain he’s going to win this.
Lyall’s reacting too, fighting harder as her anger retakes control and her pain dictates her movements as they turn wild.
She launches us at Luke and he grabs my arms, easily bringing me under control and forcing me back onto the ground.
Lyall screams and cries, cursing the wolf holding her down.
I push toward the barrier keeping me inside her and Lyall forces me back down, refusing to let me take control.
“He’s our mate.”
“He’s a cunt and he’ll hurt you, Nia.”
Lyall screams again, ranting as she tries to dislodge the weight holding us down. She’s tiring now but her anger isn’t cooling and her cries grow frantic as she rants and raves, cursing the wolf who won’t let her go.
“Are you quite done?” he asks.
“FUCK. OFF.”
Lyall still has some fight in her and she throws our weight against Luke, shifting him enough to roll out from underneath him.
We tumble on the ground, both of us scrambling for control.
Pain shoots through me as Luke’s hands shove my shoulders into the ground and I gasp as my knee connects with Luke’s groin.
His eyes shoot wide and his wolf growls, enraged and in pain.
Lyall brings her knee up again and Luke shifts, forcing his hips between mine and pressing my thigh onto the ground.
He’s still sore and angry, but his expression hints at something else: a dark and twisted sense of admiration and arousal.
Luke’s wolf didn’t want a weak mate and he’s discovering that Lyall is far from placid, and it’s turning him on.
“You’re perfect, Lyall.”
“Fuck off,” she grits back, still writhing and spitting.
“I admit I made a mistake. I underestimated you. Significantly,” he growls, far too aggressively for my liking. But my wolf seems pleased that he’s standing up to her. “I won’t make it again, sweetheart. Now, accept me as your mate and we’ll move on from this fucking nonsense.”
“No,” Lyall hisses back.
Fury sparks through the eyes of Luke’s wolf and they turn so dark they’re the color of the darkness after midnight.
“I’ll force the issue, Lyall,” he barks back. “Don’t think I won’t mark you here and now. We’re not leaving until you’re marked and mine and I’m losing my goddamn patience.”
A pulse of excitement ripples through me and Lyall warms, strangely unsure about what she wants to do.
She’s turned on by his dominance and the four of us are playing a dangerous game.
Luke’s wolf needs to lead and Lyall needs to follow, but she won’t do it without a fight and he can’t be too forceful.
The line is dangerously thin and I don’t know if we can walk it without falling into the oblivion below.
“Please, Lyall.”
“Shut up, Nia,” she hisses back. “I know what I’m doing.”
She hadn’t got a clue and my wolf’s working entirely on instinct.
Her emotions are all over the place and she’s practically overwhelmed, but her focus is shifting and her anger abates.
Just a little. It’s only a degree or two cooler but it’s stopped burning hotter and hotter, and I try pushing calm and pleasant thoughts into her.
“Lawson,” he growls. “If that’s what you’re so hung up about.”
“I’m hung up about you being a dick.”
He smirks. “Don’t pretend you don’t like it, sweetheart. You were meant for me. You’re enjoying pushing all my buttons and I’m getting a kick out of holding you down. You like this rough and that’s more than fine with me. I like a fucking good fight and you’re going to like coming on my cock.”
Lyall growls and purrs.
“Who’s the slut now?” I ask before I can stop myself.
My wolf glows and I roll my eyes, irritated that she’s putting up even less of a goddamn fight than I did. Lyall likes Lawson’s dominance and she’s enjoying fighting it, getting a fucking rise out of the game that’s setting me on edge.
“Now be a good girl and accept me as your Alpha and we’ll move on to something much more fun.”
His fingers trail down my body and Lyall melts like a pathetic girl who’s got fuck all intention of putting up any more resistance.
“You melted for Luke.”
“Shut up.” I roll my eyes. “I made him work for it.”
“You lasted all of five minutes.”
We hiss at each other and then a pulse of excitement ripples through us as Luke’s fingers start to play.
The electric sparks course over me and my core heats as he touches me, and I feel what Lyall feels, experiencing his wolf touching me through the prism of her view.
It’s strange to have no control but experience pleasure, and odd to watch yourself while being unable to respond.
“He’s good, isn’t he, Nia?”
I roll my eyes again and Lyall abandons all pretense she’s angry with him. His strength has made hers melt away, and a different kind of fire burns where the anger set her soul alight only moments ago.
“He’s powerful, Nia. He’ll keep us safe and give us strong pups.”
Luke’s mouth kisses my neck and the pleasure is unreal. It’s an explosion of heat that rips through me and I want more. I need more. I’d do almost anything for more and Lyall’s purring, writhing underneath his as she lets our head roll back and offers herself to him.
“Shit… Lyall… Stop… Are you…”
I don’t have time to finish my thought before pleasure turns to pain and my vision shatters.
White light explodes and my body crumbles as the shell that held it in place disintegrates.
There’s too much pressure, too much force and the heat and fire flowing through me turn me into ash, burning me until there’s nothing left.
I scream for my wolf and she howls back, calling for someone other than me.
We’re both in pain but for different reasons, both searching for a way to survive the overwhelming intensity of the havoc Lawson’s wreaking on us.
His teeth dig in further and I cry louder, clinging onto anything that will keep me sane. Anything that will keep me safe.
“I’m here, Nia,” Luke whispers, his voice a beacon summoning me through the hurricane engulfing us. “Reach for me. Reach for me and I’ll catch you, sweetheart. Always.”
My soul leaps without hesitation as the winds blow harder and the light burns brighter.
The world disintegrates as the force of our connection destroys everything I ever knew and my heart beats with Luke’s as my wolf joins with his.
Lyall and Lawson play, teasing each other as their souls chase through the bedlam, delighted they’ve found each other.
Luke and I cling on, holding each other as we descend into darkness and our wolves dance through the night.