Chapter 46 Sneaking Up on Me
SNEAKING UP ON ME
LUKE
The first spring flowers have risen now that the bulbs have woken and pushed their way out of the dark of winter's deep earth. The snow melted away a few weeks ago and life in my territory is returning to the warmer, better days of summer and autumn.
I've always adored the peace that winter brings. The cold doesn't bother me and the isolation is a relief, giving me and my pack time away from the madness outside our world. But I wasn't sure how Nia would take to it, especially with all the other shit she's been dealing with.
Nia’s grown, and all I’ve done is give her the space she needed. She’s still learning to trust herself and her wolf, and Lawson and I were right to be patient with her. She’s recognized my wolf isn’t a threat, just as she’s learned that my home—her home—is safe.
But it's been a long and dark winter.
She's cried and wailed, curled herself into a ball and clung on as her past haunted her present and held her prisoner.
I've hated it. Worse, I've hated knowing I was a cause of this effect.
I didn't start this but I didn't help and if I'd done things differently maybe it wouldn't have been so bad.
Maybe she wouldn't have suffered quite so much.
That's on me and I'll never escape that knowledge, certain some things cannot be undone. No matter how hard I pray for that miracle or wish for that dream, it will not come and I must bear the consequences of my choices. Of my actions.
I hope Nia thinks I've done a reasonable job of stepping up and dealing with my responsibility.
It's been a fucking fine line to walk, supporting her without overwhelming her.
Pushing her without shoving her. I've had to guide her through this without forcing it and I asked her for more without demanding something she couldn’t give.
I've comforted and cradled her, but refused to wrap her in cotton wool, refusing to coddle her or make her dependent on me.
I want her strong. I want her capable.
I want only good things for her and as much as I want to be the center of her world, I want that choice to be hers.
And she’s made it. I see it in the way her blue-grey eyes sparkle as they meet mine, and the times I catch her staring at me when she thinks she’s being subtle.
I hear it in the softness of her voice and the light and joyful beats of her heart.
I feel it in her touch and her kisses, the ones she peppers down my back when she thinks I’m sleeping.
I feel it in our bond, and I’m happiest when she clings to me, with her fingers and her feelings. My girl reaches for me when her past invades her present and I love being the certainty and safety that she needs.
I just wish she didn’t need it.
The nightmares are fading away and that’s almost a curse.
They catch her unaware now, arriving without a predictable pattern.
She’ll wake screaming and clawing at herself and anything around her, the flashbacks a cruel reminder of what she’s endured.
Of what she’s survived. Of things she won’t always share with me.
And that’s okay.
It isn’t, but it is for Nia and that means it has to be okay for me.
I’ve learned to trust my mate and she’ll talk about things when she’s ready.
She’s opening up about the things that happened in her pack, and every revelation brings another wave of anger.
Each one is a reminder that her father got off lightly, and I hate myself for not making him suffer more.
But this isn’t the season for regret.
I won’t let Nia or Lyall linger in the shadows, and I refuse to let the shrouds of their past haunt their present. Or their future. They’ve got brighter days ahead and I cannot wait to teach them to hunt, certain they’ll barely need any lessons from me or Lawson.
“She is perfect, Luke.”
“Almost.
Her mind is still healing and her body’s taking its time too.
I haven’t mentioned it but I’m desperate for it to recover.
I want my Luna pregnant with my pups and the need to breed her is becoming an inconvenient and unbearable burden.
My cock’s in agony, either sore from fucking her or desperate to be inside her, but it’s my problem to deal with.
My girl has more than enough shit to deal with, and I will not let my problems become hers—and Malcolm assures me that she will recover.
I watch her laughing with the other she-wolves, perfectly at home here.
Nia belongs here, and the pack hasn’t even questioned her, accepting her the moment that she took down three Elite Guards and defended her own.
The women seem happier now they’ve got a voice and the pack is calmer, more at ease.
It’s balanced.
She’s brought harmony to a discord I didn’t know existed.
The girl I didn’t want here is inextricably a part of home, more than that, she is home.
I sigh, content as I cross my arms and watch yet another shitshow happening around Nia and me. Today wasn’t meant to happen, but I get the feeling that Nia attracts this kind of trouble and I’m going to have to bite my tongue and learn to live with these unexpected surprises.
“We can’t have her to ourselves all the time. The pack wants to spend time with their Luna. She’s happy, Luke. Look at that smile and the way she tosses her hair. Nia’s enjoying all the attention.”
My jaw clenches, irritated it isn’t on me.
I’d wanted to show her the woods as spring arrived, and I was planning on fucking her up against more than one tree.
Instead, she started chatting to someone and before I knew it she’d organized an impromptu get-together and the whole damn pack’s descended on my goddamn garden.
Cole walks over, his smirk irritatingly smug.
My best friend is a regular visitor and he’s claimed the credit for bringing us together, even though it had fuck all to do with him.
Even The Elders had more to do with it than him, but Cole’s managed to steal my glory, and every female in the pack thinks he’s a hero for helping their Alpha change his goddamn ways.
“Alpha,” he says, grinning like a Cheshire cat.
“Beta.”
“She’s doing well,” Cole says, his wolf content to greet Lawson and then retreat to the background. “The grill and beer was a nice idea.”
Children scream as they chase each other around my garden, tearing up the lawn I like to keep pristine.
Their fathers are enjoying themselves at my expense and I’ll be forced to restock my cellars.
But the women smile and giggle, and a few crates of beer and several vats of wine are a small price to pay for their happiness.
“It’s better, don’t you think?”
I nod.
“She’ll get through it, Luke.”
She might not. It might not ever go away, not completely. I won’t put that pressure on her and while it’s not fair or right, it’s another thing that I’ll have to be okay with.
Lawson growls and his hackles rise, and I sense Elias coming to the fore.
Our wolves have picked up on something they don’t like and their presence is a reminder that we can’t take Nia’s safety for granted.
She’s my mate and I won’t surrender her to anyone, but others might be stupid enough to try it on, and my head scans the horizon looking for the reason our wolves are on high alert.
I find him far too easily.
Paul’s leaning against a tree, barely using the shadows to conceal himself.
My father’s best friend has snuck up on us again and our security has got to improve.
Cole shudders, aware this one’s on him, and we turn, walking briskly over to the invited guest who’s disturbing my Luna’s unplanned party.
We all nod like we’re in some secret society and the grin that lights Paul’s face is unbecoming. It’s the same one my father used before I received a lecture. The one that says he’s far more experienced than me and I need to know my fucking place.
“I’ve spent the entire winter cleaning up your fucking mess,” he says, his arms crossing like he’s holding himself back.
“The winter might have kept you out of it, but there’s been quite the mountain of shit to wade through.
Those English cunts are a complete and utter nightmare, and thank fuck Carl’s finally got them under control. ”
I nod, mirroring his body language.
“The words you’re looking for are thank and you, Alpha,” he growls. “And that’s before we even start to talk about what I had to do with The Council. The rest of them were incandescent, and more than one of them wondered if Nia might be interested in a different mate.”
I growl and Paul’s dark eyes darken.
“It’s taken care of, Luke.” He pauses to watch the scene playing out in front of him, noting that my pack is lost in their easy afternoon and oblivious to the possibility of any threat. “They won’t be bothering you or your Luna, and the Elite Guards are content with the bargain you made.”
My eyebrow rises, silently asking him what bargain he’s talking about.
“In fact, they’re rather pleased you lobbied for one of theirs to be made an Alpha. You’d almost think they owed you a favor.”
We both know Paul’s pulled off a miracle, convincing everyone that Carl’s appointment was my idea. It’ll placate the Elites and Carl will consider our agreement fulfilled and any debt between us settled. It solves all my problems and leaves Nia and Lyall safe.
“And the other High Lords don’t want a woman around,” Paul says. “They seem to think she’d be trouble. Something about speaking her mind and not leaving any of them alone.”
I smirk, certain they’ve got my Luna down to a T even though they haven’t met her.
“So, that just leaves you and me, Luke.” Paul steps forward, his arms uncrossed. “You owe me and I want my pound of flesh, Alpha. Your father owed me too, and I want what he owes me as well.”
I swallow and Lawson growls. “My father let you have his seat at The Council, Paul. You wouldn’t be Deacon otherwise.”