Chapter 37
This is not good.
Dread and adrenaline wreaking havoc in my mind and body, I try to scream for Serra, but my throat is constricted and no sounds are coming out.
Suddenly, I hear a cackle behind me.
I watch Serra slowly walk around me and peer into my eyes — as if inspecting me — a smug smile plastered on her face.
Serra… Pain and anger wash over me as my mind flashes with memories of all the times I let her help me, all the times I believed her, all the times I actually felt sympathy towards her.
My lower body is paralyzed, and there is strange energy in the air.
“What did you do?” I ask in a hoarse voice.
She looks at me and then stands straight. This is no longer the frail old woman I’ve come to know. She’s someone else entirely. She’s standing upright, her cane nowhere in sight, a strange energy emanating from her body.
It’s in a cool voice that she says, “The paralysis will take a moment longer, and it’s only then that the deep sleep will start setting in.” A smile dances on her lips. “Don’t worry, Anna, you should definitely get to see it.”
What the…
“It won’t be much longer now until I make you shift, and everything will fall into place.”
“Why are you doing this, Serra?”
“Why am I doing this?” she snaps as she gets in my face. “You are absolutely annoying, you know that? How many times have I had to play the poor weak old Serra and listen to your bullshit? You know nothing of the world, girl.”
I grit my teeth. “I thought I could trust you, I thought we shared the same values.”
She just looks at me for a second, obviously pissed. Then she lets out a laugh and goes to sit on the pedestal. “You think the two of us are the same?” she asks in an incredulous voice. “I know I told you things that day in the cafeteria, but you don’t really know what my life was like. You don’t really know what’s it like to be the only weak one in a dynasty of mighty people,” she says.
She gets off the pedestal and starts approaching me with this unsettling spark in her eyes. “But then one day everything changed. Imagine a little girl working her way through her family’s library, and finding something more fascinating than anything she’d ever laid eyes on before. An image of Baldur.”
She keeps silent for a moment, still looking at me but seeming as if her mind is elsewhere.
“It spoke to me, Anna,” she says, her voice hushed and swelling with longing. “For some reason, I knew this man — this god among men — was my destiny. He will give me all the power I never had.”
Destiny… It makes me remember what she told me that day in the cafeteria — how it’s you making it, not the stars. She was talking about the prophecy, she wants to insert herself in it.
“Everything I did from that moment in time,” she says with a pensive laugh, “I did to get closer to Baldur. Eventually, while I was still studying at the Academy, I met this old fae who knew where the pieces were buried. It was the happiest day of my life.”
She pauses, seemingly snapping out of it and really looking at me again. “Until I found out I had no way of using the information to awaken him. Until I found out I needed someone called the Aurora.”
There’s bitterness in her voice and her eyes as she says this.
Slowly, she walks over to me. “It only took me ten years of working at the Academy to find out about the Order and make Lorcan initiate me into it. Then another twenty of sucking up to the man, waiting for you to show up.”
Despite knowing I won’t be able to do it, it makes me try to back off, when she slows to a stop in front of me. “Imagine my surprise,” she says, her eyes roaming all over my face, “when I learned that the famed Aurora was our little Scion Librarian.”
She’s not taking her eyes off me, but I can tell she’s done talking so I ask, “But how did you…” I don’t even know where to start.
She lets out a scoff. “How did I what? Manage to trick you into doing my bidding?”
I don’t say anything. I just keep looking at her, bile working its way up my throat.
She shrugs. “It wasn’t that hard,” she says, looking me up and down as she starts walking back to the pedestal. There, she takes a seat again, folding her hands on her thigh. “After all, I had spent three years working alongside you, Anna. I knew you were a smart girl with more than a healthy dose of distrust in others. Which is why I understood I had to make you think every step you took was your idea, no one else’s.”
I grit my teeth. “Yeah?”
“Yes,” she says with a smile. “The book, for example. I couldn’t just give it to you. Of course, it was supposed to be you who stumbled on it, not your little vampire friend. But it did find its way to you eventually.”
How could I have been this stupid? My nostrils flaring, I remain silent, but my silence only makes her laugh. “I also needed you to keep unlocking your powers,” she explains, “which is how Warsaw happened.”
My eyes round. “It was you who killed those people,” I say in a voice that’s barely above a whisper, “not the third piece.”
“Exactly,” she replies with a nod. “You were becoming too enthralled with your little mate, so I had to give you a little nudge, to reshift your focus.”
“If I didn’t use the moon stone to reestablish my connection with my wolf…”
“The third piece would have remained dormant.”
I know it would be smarter for me to come up with another question, another little distraction, but the paralysis is starting to reach my neck and my head is ringing, images of streets full of dead people flashing before my eyes.
She killed them all just to get me to take another step in actualizing my powers? It makes me significantly more afraid of what else she’s capable of doing. Is her Divine Magic that strong?
And then the realization hits me. It was a lie, that time she came to return the book and tell me what the central symbol is about.
It’s not Baldur, it’s the Aurora. It’s not Baldur the Bringer of Suffering, it’s Aurora the Bearer of Suffering.
It’s my own Aurora powers she made me block.
“What’s the plan, Serra, huh?” I demand through gritted teeth.
She keeps looking, waiting. My eyebrows pull down. Will she just be waiting for the fourth piece to come to life?
“The plan, my dear,” she says as she comes closer, “is to make you…” She leans into my ear. “Shift,” she finishes as blinding pain sears through my side.
A knife. There’s a knife in my stomach.
The past, the present and the future — they’re all colliding in my brain into an explosion of destruction, death and pain. Summoning the ultimate evil. All of which I will have caused myself, again, by avoiding facing hard truths and trusting the wrong person.
I shut my eyes, desperation filling my entire being and making a single image come into focus in front of me.
Jericho.
I squeeze my eyes tighter while they fill with tears. I pushed him away. But now it’s all becoming so clear to me. I don’t care about anything that’s happened so far. I just want to be with him.
I hear her cackle in my ear. “We’re crying now, are we?” she asks mockingly. “Oh is this about your little shifter mate? He won’t be able to hear your thoughts, the bond isn’t complete.
Fuck you.
Pain sears through me, making me close my eyes shut, my teeth gritting as the blade enters deeper into my body.
“Shift, I said,” she spits out.
As I feel the knife get pulled out and hot blood pour out of me, I open my eyes and I give her a venomous smile. “Oh you think a little bit of pain will make me give in?” I ask, determined despite struggling to stay in control of my voice.
There’s a flash of surprise on her face.
My jaw clenching, I narrow my eyes at her. “You’ve no idea who I am or what I’ve managed to go through without even flinching. So bring it on. You’ll kill me before you make me help you.”
“I’ve let you stall long enough,” she comes to whisper in my ear, making my breath turn shallow and my nostrils flare. “And he won’t be coming to save you, you’ve made sure of it yourself.”
With the corner of my eye, I spot her lift her hand and I feel the blade’s edge press into my neck. “Shift, now. Or I swear on the Holy Word, I will make you suffer.”
“On the Holy Word, you say?” I ask with bitterness in my voice. “As if there’s something you find sacred.”
“I do,” she says forcefully, getting in my face. “You know what it is? Power instead of weakness.”
But her words are drifting to me as if through water. Slowly but steadily, the paralysis is starting to spread to my neck and I find myself in a growing haze, barely keeping my eyes open as my heartbeat starts slowing down.
Am I dying?
I no longer seem to see her or hear her. I’m turning blind to the world around me, my mind filling with images of Jericho.
This is it. I’ll never get to see him again, touch him again, smell him again. I’ll never get to find out what it would be like, to be with him for real. The very thought rips through me, more devastating than anything I’ve ever felt, its echoes alone strong enough to make me fall apart.
My heart breaks into a million pieces.
Then my mind fills with images of past lives, of all the things I’ve had to go through as the Aurora only to find myself failing all over again.
Then again, what does it matter…
In every lifetime, I try to take on all their pain.
In every lifetime, they only choose to create more of it.
It’s with that thought that I let go. The paralysis now spreading to my jaw, I let my gaze drop, my eyes filling with tears I’ll never see fall to the ground.
Still, at least I’ll finally get it — the promise of absolute nothingness.
Who knows?
Maybe this time’s the charm. Maybe this time…
I’ll stay dead.
***
I’m coughing something up, feeling the slight waning of the paralysis even before I open my eyes. My heart explodes as soon as I see him. Jericho, standing right before me, having forced a bitter liquid into my mouth.
My voice is a hoarse whisper when I say, “I thought I told you I’d kill you if I ever saw you again.”
“Sure,” he says in a tense voice. “And I’ll get on my knees for you to do it.”
He closes his fist, darkness now everywhere around me. Then the eyes appear, the darkness catching fire. “Just let me take care of this bitch first,” he comes to whisper into my ear.
There’s so much I want to say to him right now, but I’m still weak and groggy. “Jericho,” I plead just as he pulls back again.
There’s sadness, fear, something tender and a determination to hide it all in the wink he throws me. Then, as he tears his eyes away from me, I watch them overflow with hatred, the look sending shivers down my spine. I see Serra getting off the ground near the pedestal, an energy surrounding her.
“You,” his voice booms with that hard, bone-chilling cruelty I’ve only heard once before, the words gritted out, “are dead.”
His hands clench into fists and his body somehow gets bigger, tenser. “I will rip you to shreds,” he snarls as he gets moving. “But first, I make you suffer.”
There’s a movement I barely register.
Jericho stops midstep, groans and falls to his knees. Serra has her hand on the pedestal, this ominous glow emanating from it. She lets out a laugh. “You’re no match for me, Bane. Not anymore.”
For a second, I think all hope is lost, but then I see Jericho get up with a smirk on his face, taking something out of his pocket.
Almost too quickly for me to register, he throws something in the air, I hear the click of a lighter and I watch him blow into the flame, sending a blaze of wildfire in Serra’s direction, roaring as it illuminates the cave in an explosion of light.
I close my eyes. Instead of silence or sounds of struggling, what I hear is this faint, strange sound that reminds me of something spinning rapidly. I open my eyes, but Jericho is blocking my view.
“Fucking—” I hear him grit out and break off just as Serra appears in my line of sight.
She’s still far away from us, but she’s alive and well, smiling as she spins her cane in her hand with Jericho’s watchful eyes on her.
“It’s Air Magic, Jericho,” I struggle to warn him through half-paralyzed mouth, my heart plummeting as I realize she’s enchanted the cane to amplify her magic, allowing her to block the fire.
I watch her take a swing at the air with the cane, propelling a swarm of ethereal blades at him.
My eyes round, but he’s on his feet again and then there’s his hand in the air again, the click of the lighter and the explosion of wildfire, bigger than last time and fast enough to block the blades.
I breathe a sigh of relief, but the next thing I know, the fire is gone, she’s blocked it and she’s attacking again.
Then there it is again — the hand, the lighter, the explosion.
This time, though, before the fire clears out, I watch him turn to me, his chest heaving and these nasty gashes spewing blood down his shirt.
For a split second, he just stares at me, seemingly hesitating. Then he grits his teeth, this fiercely determined look in his eyes making mine round just as he tears them away and I realize what’s happening.
He’s going all in, for me.
The next thing I know, I’m watching his fox coming to land on all fours, its body tensing for a split second before it lunges.
Then there’s chaos filled with snarling, teeth snapping and short, staggered cries sounding from everywhere around me.
I struggle to keep track of Serra’s panicked movements as she tries to use her Air Magic to get away from the fox.
I spot her high on the wall to my right, pressing herself tight against it as she keeps trying to climb out of reach, but the fox is already kicking itself off the ground and digging its claws into the earth to her sides, its maw opening on a snarl.
It opens and closes shut around her neck, a blood-curdling scream piercing the air.
The very next moment, the fox jumps down, jerking its head with Serra’s broken body in its teeth. He’s finishing the job.
I watch him toss her onto the ground. He’s breathing heavily and his focus is still on the body on the ground before him, but he’s alive and well. My paralysis has dissipated a bit, and I breathe the biggest sigh of relief.
I open my mouth to call out to him, to make him come to me, when I hear it.
The fox hears it, too, I can tell by the way it tenses up.
The low, unsettling chuckle coming from Serra’s body.
She’s standing on broken legs, with the cane in her broken arms. Disfigured, but most definitely alive.
The fox growls.
It all happens so fast. Watching him lunge at her again, I’m yelling, “Jericho, please, no,” while she’s doing a movement with the fingers of her right hand, making her Runes glow and sending another, much more powerful swarm of blades at him. Her laughter is downright maniacal.
My head snaps to my right, where I see him being sent flying back and hitting the wall with a whimper.
I hear myself let out a pained wail.
As soon as he slides down to the ground, he starts trying to get up, but it hurts just looking at all the wounds on his body.
That doesn’t make Serra slow down. She tries to use her cane again, tossing it to the side when she realizes it’s spent, but that only makes her take something out of her pocket and throw it in his direction.
I watch seeds fall around him, the ground almost instantly cracking and roots shooting out to wrap around his entire body. He’s snarling and thrashing, maybe even trying to shift back, but it’s useless.
“I thought I told you you were no match for me, kitty cat,” I hear Serra grit out as she starts approaching him, taking the knife out of her pocket.
“I have him inside me, almost all parts of him. None of you can stop me now. Though you were a tougher nut to crack than I thought you’d be, Bane. I’m going to enjoy killing you.”
I barely hear her last words. I finally see it — the strange, faint glow coming through the nasty wounds he inflicted on her.
The realization hits me like a cold wave. The graying strand of hair…
She used Divine Magic to fuse Baldur’s pieces to her own body.
Realizing how powerful she must still be, it makes all my hope turn to dust and sends my mind reeling as I watch her keep dragging herself over to him.
The fear is so overwhelming, but so is the determination.
I muster all my strength and manage to free my right hand.
Without a second of hesitation, I reach for the moonstone and I mercilessly yank it out, feeling my wolf take a lungful of air.
“I’m sorry,” I tell her, hoping she’ll feel how much exactly, “you were right about everything. I did horrible things and I never listened to a word you said and now it”s all—”
“Just let me out,” she grits out, albeit softly, “and everything will be alright.”
***
It feels right this time, when my paws hit the ground.
Mine. No one hurts what’s mine.
Just as a snarl begs to be let out and my body moves to lunge, this sickening energy makes me turn my attention onto the pedestal.
I freeze in place, my eyes rounding when I see it — the faint light coming from the hole in the top. The very next moment, I see a glowing fang slowly lifting into the air.
No no no, how could I have forgotten what would happen if I shifted? My eyes dart from left to right, my mind going straight back to reeling as soon as it hits me.
I look at Serra and see a smirk on her face.
“Thank you, Anna,” she tells me, “I knew you could do it.”
She does a movement, makes her Runes glow and lets her Air Magic get her to the pedestal. She is going to get the last piece.
My eyes dart from her to Jericho. If I choose to help Jericho, she will bring Baldur back to life. But the vines are constricting and my mind threatening to break at the very thought of losing him.
I don’t even throw another glance at the fang again.
I clench all my muscles and I lunge, blinding fear coursing through my body. I get to Jericho and I don’t waste time inspecting him closely, partly for fear of what it will do to me. I just start using my teeth to tear into the roots holding him down. It’s hard trying to be gentle and fast at the same time, but I think I’m just about to set him free, not even paying attention to what Serra is doing, when I feel the touch of a paw on my front leg.
I freeze. I look up at him, and as soon as I do… It’s like time stands still, the first time our animals look each other in the eyes. Something snaps in me, the most intense warmth spreading throughout my entire being.
Anna, I hear his voice in my head.
Jericho. I feel my power now, and it takes almost no effort to start taking his pain from him, making his body start healing in front of my very eyes.
It’s this mumbling coming from behind me that snaps me out of it. I jump on all fours, turning around to see Serra standing in front of the pedestal with her back turned to me.
I can see her Runes glowing.
I let out a snarl, but before I can lunge at her, she turns around, the look on her face making me freeze. She’s smiling this strange smile, her eyes as clear as they were before Jericho almost killed her.
She’s already absorbed the fang.
Snarling, I kick myself off the ground, opening my maw, delirious with thirst for her blood, only to have her send me flying back with a single wave of her hand.
It makes me whimper, the pain shooting through my back when it hits the wall of the cave and making me shift back.
Slowly, she starts walking over to me, her body twitching but that strange smile only growing wider. It’s right next to Jericho that she stops though.
“He sure is a handsome one,” she says in a voice that now has an ethereal quality. “I’d say I’d hate to kill him, but…”
I watch her lift her left hand in the air.
That same mix of unbearable fear and rage floods me.
Only this time, because I know exactly who I am now and I’m finally here, I let it light up every atom of my boundless being.
I close my eyes, concentrating all the energy in all of the nature around me into a single point.
I open my eyes, sending it all back into her body. A beat, two.
Her body explodes, torn from limb to limb. Pieces of her land all over the cave.
I look over to Jericho, still trapped and bloody.
Please be alright.
Don’t you worry about me.
I almost breathe a sigh of relief, when I hear footsteps drawing near, the sound echoing against the walls of the cave.
I see Lorcan’s figure appear before me.
Dread echoes through me, but only for that single moment before everything turns black.