Chapter 36
I’m in the Main Hall, still waiting for Connor to come back. What was I thinking asking Alaric to set me up with someone for this? He’s only making me feel even more desperate for this whole night to end.
Not because of this unsettling feeling of being watched. Not because I’m dreading the very possibility of bumping into people I don’t want to see. Not even because I’m generally miserable.
It’s because of this thought that’s so unbearable to me, I can’t even make myself bring it to the surface. The thought that now that he’s gone, I’ll be spending the rest of my life walking around with a gaping hole in my chest.
It’s for all those reasons that it actually makes me smile, when I see Serra coming towards me.
The smile slides off when I see the serious look on her face. She’s holding out a piece of paper with a map of the Lycan Forest on it. “I just can’t believe it,” she tells me. “I think I know where to find the fourth piece.”
My mind threatens to explode. “Already?”
She gives me a nod and hands me the map. “Now we only need to find a way for you to finally shift.”
I finish inspecting the map and then look up at her again. My heart starting to race, I say, “Leave that to me.”
Her eyebrows shoot up, but I’ve made up my mind. I don’t care how much I need to push. I’m doing this, and I’m doing it tonight. “Give me ten minutes to change and I’ll meet you there.”
She doesn’t look entirely convinced, but she gives me a sharp nod.
I rush out of the Main Hall and head straight to the Lycan Tower, disbelief keeping my mind blank.
Could it really all be over so soon?
But when I find myself on the landing in front of my room, I find the door ajar and I hear these rummaging sounds coming from inside.
What the…
My eyebrows pulling down, I rush inside only to find him moving about the room, throwing stuff into the suitcase lying open on my bed. I stop in the doorway, throwing daggers at him even as pain rips into me at the very sight of him.
He knows I’m here, but he doesn’t even look up. He just keeps walking around, grabbing stuff and throwing it into the suitcase with this intense look on his face.
My suitcase, my books, my fucking underwear.
“What, no boyfriend?” he finally grits out, still not even throwing a glance in my direction.
I ignore this. “What the hell do you think you’re doing?” I demand as I march over to him.
“Getting you out of here,” he says without stopping, “what does it look like?”
“I thought I made it clear I didn’t want to see you again,” I grit out.
“I suggest you get used to it,” he snaps flatly, still not stopping, “because you’ll be spending a lot of time looking at me.”
For a second, I just stare at him, trying to summon the strength to deal with this.
Then it occurs to me — that I don’t have to. “Fine, take it all with you. I couldn’t care less.” And I grab some clothes out of the drawer he hasn’t managed to pack yet and move to get out.
But his body is now filling the doorway and his eyes coming to fix on me, and against my will, they’re taking my breath away.
For a second, we just look at each other, his chest falling up and down.
“I know what happened,” he says in a serious, but soft voice. “Did you think I wouldn’t find out, huh?”
So it was him who gave Lorcan those bruises. But I don’t care.
I just gesture for him to let me pass.
“You know what hurts the most?” he demands as he tries to get in my face. I retreat back into the room. “That you didn’t even want to hear my side of the story.”
Hurts, that’s what’s echoing through my mind as I stare him down. Yeah right. The lying, manipulative bastard.
“It’s a story I’m no longer interested in,” I reply flatly.
He follows me with cautious steps, his body tense as if he’s expecting me to dart around him. As he should.
“He lied to me, too, Anna,” he insists as he holds a hand out. “Trust me, I didn’t know you were the reason he blackmailed me into coming here. He told me that the Academy was bleeding money and that my presence would get the investors interested again.”
“I don’t believe you,” I tell him defiantly, ignoring the hand and instead motioning for him to get out of my way again.
A muscle in his jaw jumps. “I’m not dragging you to fucking prison,” he grits out. He moves for me so fast, I can’t stop him from grabbing me by the elbow and pressing me closer to him. “I’m taking you somewhere safe,” he leans to whisper in my ear as I try to break my arm free. “You’re in danger, Anna. Please.”
It’s the fact that he’s still daring to call me by my first name and that I actually fucking miss him so much, I want to die, that makes me snap.
“Get your fucking hands off me,” I warn as I look up to throw daggers at him.
His nostrils flare in anger. He lets go of me and takes a step back. “I guess I’m not making myself clear enough,” he grits out as he folds his arms. “You only have two options here, Anna. You’re either coming with me, right now, or you’re getting your ass tied to the bed until you get your wits about you.”
I let out a bitter laugh as I make bolts of electricity start shooting out of my entire body, crackling and snapping their heads in his direction. “Go on, I’d like to see you try.”
Surprise flashes through his eyes. He takes a step back.
“Now let me pass,” I tell him in a voice threatening to fall apart.
He does. Stopping in the doorway, I turn to look at him. “And if I see your face ever again… you’re a dead man.”
***
It’s dark outside and everyone else seems to still be at the Ball, so there’s no need for me to sneak around. I just rush down the Tower stairs and step outside, turning right to slip into the Lycan Forest, where Serra will be waiting for me by the entrance into one of the caves.
It’s before I even reach the entrance into the forest that I sense him.
Frowning, I turn around to find Lorcan slowing to a stop in front of me. It surprises me, my level of indifference at seeing him, especially considering what kind of reaction he got out of me just earlier today.
Then again, there’s something very important I have to do right now.
He folds his arms, his eyes darting behind my back. “Lycan Forest, Miss Novak?” he asks with suspicion in his voice. “Planning a stroll?”
I give the busybody a little smile. “What else?”
He just observes me for a moment, his eyes narrowing and his lips pressing tight. “It might not be the best idea right now.”
“No?” I ask softly.
“No,” he says with a shake of his head. “Those stolen magic supplies I mentioned earlier today? Someone at the Academy seems to be working on some really dangerous magic and I’m afraid it’s got something to do with you. So why don’t you let me accompany you back into the Main Hall?”
He moves to take me by the arm.
Shaking my head, I take a step back. “I don’t think so. But thanks anyway.”
I turn on my heel only to find him blocking my way. He really doesn’t want me to go.
Interesting.
“What is it that you’re planning, Miss Novak?” he demands with a frown. “Need I remind you you still can’t even shift?”
I dive deeper into his eyes, my smile growing wider. “You know what, Professor MacArthur?” I say in a sweet voice, “I think it was just today that I told you to mind your own business.”
I turn my back to him and start leisurely walking straight for the entrance into the forest. It doesn’t matter how indifferent I feel to his appearance here. He’s acting even more suspicious than usual and it would be stupid of me to do anything to blow this.
There’s a moment of tense silence before he speaks. “Whatever it is you’re about to do,” he calls after me through gritted teeth, “you won’t be able to do it without your mate.”
I stop midstep, my muscles frozen in place, my unseeing eyes fixed ahead.
It’s like a silent explosion in my head. The eyes, the scent, the glow.
“What did you say to me?” I hear myself whisper as I slowly turn to look at him, my chest starting to heave.
Lorcan keeps observing me for a moment. “As the Aurora, Miss Novak,” he tells me with this weird look on his face, “you always have a mate.”
My mind is buzzing and blank at the same time. Gritting my teeth, I keep staring him down, an urge to murder him in cold blood starting to boil underneath my skin.
“It took me years to find a way to identify him,” he just continues, despite his eyes narrowing at me even more, “and I had to use less than admirable means to get him to come here and set things in motion, but there’s not a shred of doubt that you and—”
I get in his face, making him shut his mouth, his eyes rounding. “Don’t you dare finish that sentence,” I hiss in a low, hoarse voice.
There’s a moment of silence before I take a step back and he clears his throat, his jaw clenching. “Fine,” he spits out, “have it your way, but there are greater forces at work here, Miss Novak, and until you complete your bond with him—”
“You lying son of a bitch,” I cut him off with such poison in my voice. Mates are people you trust most in the entire world, not lying, manipulative bastards. I let out a bitter laugh as I shift my focus back onto Lorcan. “Don’t think for a second you can fool me into believing you again, let alone buying into something as pitifully absurd as that.” My face twists in disgust and anger. “So get the hell out of my way, or I swear to all the gods—”
“You’ll what?” he grits out just before I see his marks glow beneath his robe.
Before I can react, he’s slamming his fists into each other and I’m rapidly losing balance.
Shit.
The ground beneath me caves into itself and the next thing I know, I’m on all fours at the bottom of a hole deeper than my height.
I’m fucking fuming even before I hear him grit out, “You’re making me do things I don’t want to do, Miss Novak.”
It seems he knows exactly what I’m about to do and he’s hell bent on stopping me, but yeah… That’s not how we’re going to play.
It’s with such ease that I jump to my feet, swing my arm back and summon a crackling swirl of bolts. Gritting my teeth, I direct them straight into the ground below me and let go.
The force shoots me up into the air, I do a backflip and land softly on the ground between the hole and the man who put me there.
It gives me such satisfaction, when I see the surprise in his eyes.
My lips curl into a smile, but he quickly collects himself, his teeth gritting as he stares me down.
I feel all my muscles clench when I see him tense up and disappear, a huge bear coming to land in his place.
The bear doesn’t hesitate, it kicks itself off the ground and lunges over the hole, straight at me.
Stumbling back, I summon a whip and manage to snap it at him even before I regain my footing again.
Just as he lands, the whip wraps around his neck, making me let out a laugh.
The laugh dies down when he doesn’t let it tighten. He growls and shakes his head to get rid of it.
He lunges before I can summon another one.
There’s a split second when time seems to come to a stop, this giant bear with fury in its eyes rapidly filling up my field of vision.
My heart pounds.
For one beat, two.
Then, like the flip of a switch, my very existence in the meat sack I occupy becomes pure blinding pain and nothing else. It’s the physical anguish of suddenly being aware of everything that normally goes on in the background — all the bones moving in their joints, all the blood pumping through my veins, all the collisions of the world around me with my own senses.
Just as all the pain makes my entire body tense up to a point I feel can only be followed by it shattering to a million pieces…
This strange lightness sweeps over me like a soft exhale and I find myself standing on four paws instead of two legs.
I sniff at the air, catching a whiff of a familiar scent, the sound of the creature’s blood pumping through its veins pounding in my ears.
For a moment, I just keep standing there, my eyes lowering and narrowing at the tiny bear who seems to be frozen mid-movement in front of me, shock in its eyes.
Shock and this…
Awe?
I don’t wait to see its reaction. I can feel the power coursing through me, but there’s a strange, ominous silence as well, silence that makes me feel like I shouldn’t stay like this too long.
Just until I get away from the bear. I move for the forest again, its darkness and its smells and its inhabitants calling out to me, when I hear this low growl sound from behind my back.
I stop and turn around to see the bear lunging at me again, a split second before its maw closes around my hind leg.
The pain is searing, the blood is hot and the rage is blinding.
I shake the bear off and snap my teeth at him.
It doesn’t give up, moving to run around me and block my way.
I catch it mid-movement, closing my maw around its body and lifting it high up in the air, its legs thrashing as I dig my teeth deeper and deeper, this dark, shut-off part of me reveling in the pained sounds it makes.
I’m a hunter after all. It’s in my blood.
It takes effort, but I stop myself before I make its heart stop beating. I swing my head to the side and propel the bear through the night air, making sure it lands far away from me.
Then I turn around, I use my hind legs to kick myself off the ground and I dart into the woods, shifting back just as I start nearing the clearing with the cave.
***
“Ready?” Serra asks me as soon as I come to a stop in front of her. We’re in the clearing, the moon hanging low above our heads as we stand in front of a grassy mound with the mouth of the cave opening into the darkness below. I’m giving her my most expressionless face, fighting with all my strength not to think about anything that just happened with Lorcan — especially his lies — and focus on the task at hand.
It’s by the unmistakable, unsettling stench of the place that I know Serra was right. This is the spot where his last piece is buried.
“Yes,” I say with a nod. “Let’s go.”
She nods back and motions for me to follow. I have to duck to enter and keep my head down as we make our way through the dark, narrow passage.
My heart starts pounding long before we step onto the bottom of the cave and I stop, letting my eyes sweep over it all. It’s enormous and empty but shut off on all sides, the surrounding walls dimly lit with this unnatural, unsettling light and the dome above me swallowed by darkness.
I don’t take long to inspect it. My eye is irresistibly drawn to the rough pedestal at the front of the space.
Slowly, I get closer, sensing Serra following me. I get close enough to see it has a hole in its top and then a little closer still, to peer inside and find only darkness staring back at me.
The stench makes me grit my teeth and double back.
When I turn to my left to look at her, Serra’s looking at me with hesitation in her eyes. “Now that we’re here,” her voice echoes against the bare walls of the cave, “maybe you could try shifting again and—”
“Already did that,” I cut her off, choosing to ignore her hesitation for fear of it infecting me.
I don’t linger on the surprised look she throws me either. “I just want to get this over with,” I say with cold determination in my voice.
She doesn’t say anything. She just nods and gives me space, retreating out of my line of sight.
I stand straight, clearing my throat and closing my eyes.
Taking a deep breath, I visualize the first movement from my tattoos, for the vampire. Lifting my hands in front of my face, I make a cross sign with my two forefingers and start moving it in a slow circle.
It makes my breath catch, the energy that starts sweeping through my body.
It’s far from pleasant. In fact, it’s downright sickening, but it encourages me.
I jump straight to visualizing the fae movement. I use my forefingers and my thumbs to create a triangle and start tracing circles with that as well.
This makes me so sick, I have to stop. Gods, this is just… I grit my teeth, the world around me feeling a split second away from spinning off its axis. “I don’t feel good, Serra,” I hear myself girt out, a wince in my voice.
“Just push through it.”
I listen, clenching my jaw even harder, until I can force myself to take a deep breath.
I visualize the third movement, for the shifter. I make a circle with my hands and I start breaking it in two halves and putting it back together.
As soon as I do, it’s like I snap off the thread holding me in place and send myself shooting into a nauseating distance with growing darkness around me. It all makes me stop and bend, digging the heels of my palms into my thighs.
Wrong, this feels more wrong than anything I’ve ever done in my life.
Then this incredibly unsettling sensation starts creeping up my body, making my eyes round and my mind go blank when I realize what it is.
And it hits me, all at once, exactly what I’d done, my body surging with a sudden, violent dread.