Chapter 10 #2
The craftsmanship is something I would’ve imagined to have come from the caves, not the forests. It looks like something a metal-bending Enduar could create, which makes me even more curious.
Especially since most diamonds on this continent come from a single region.
I point to one of the clusters of jewels.
“Are these…?”
“Enduar diamonds, my lady,” the final dressmaker says.
I swallow hard. This feels like a test. This whole gown is beautiful, much more to my taste than the other two, and yet I can’t help but think that if I pick it, I will be making the wrong choice.
I can’t let any sort of allegiance give these people a reason to dislike me more. Fixing my posture, I step away from the gowns.
My heart is drawn to the blue, and my chest tightens over the pink—especially knowing it is made by one of my own people. I wish I could speak with her, learn more about her life in this mysterious place.
But won’t that be the wrong choice, too?
My gaze settles on the final dress. Arion loves green. The colors of Arion’s insignia are green.
“I pick this one,” I say softly, reaching out to touch the velvet again.
“Excellent choice,” Thorne says, then claps once. The women begin boxing up their creations and leaving the room. For some reason, there is a distinct tension in the space. The air shifts, and something churns in my gut.
If the quirked corners of his mouth and the eased tension of Thorne’s forehead are any indication, I’ve made the right choice, but something still feels wrong.
Once we are alone, and only the dress I picked is left, I turn to face Thorne.
“Strange that they already had my measurements. Not just for this, but all the dresses you brought,” I say casually. “Just how many times did you invade my home before you finally left that horrible serpent to kill me?”
He rolls his eyes.
“You were on that boat with me for quite some time—it wasn’t hard. Besides all that, my dear, the plan was never to kill you. It was to give you a minor controlling curse. You’re being dramatic.”
Minor, Cursed One scoffs.
“And you are lying, untrustworthy scum,” I shoot back. I had meant to keep my cool, but the first time being alone with him since arriving is making the ugly emotions I’ve been storing inside me bubble up again.
He freezes. “This again?”
“We welcomed you into our home. You took advantage of the kindness offered freely, from the king and queen, from the Enduares and humans as a whole, from Ulla,” I spit out.
He narrows his eyes at me. “A place to stay and food to eat is quite literally the least that could’ve been done.
Do not pretend that the Enduares do not have their own prejudices.
They view humans as a gift, but elves have a long history with them.
It is not a gift to be met with mistrust as a whole. ”
I bite my lips shut, remembering that I had read just that in several scrolls. In my time going through the royal library, I can’t pretend that there weren’t several xenophobic statements and ideas, either hidden in metaphor or declared plainly.
It wasn’t right; it is something we fight with as we integrate older members of the race back into our people.
Damnit. I am feeling something for Thorne’s position.
But…
“Unkindness and a lack of welcome or proper manners don’t justify the idea that you would wipe out an entire people.”
“The Enduares and Enduvida were never in any real danger. Think of it, there are now around eight thousand souls living in a city that once housed well over a hundred thousand. Think of all the elves you’ve met so far.
The Sisterhood. Shvathemar. That charming city in the mountains that tries to hide from Arion’s eye.
There are millions of us, like the stars in the sky and the leaves in the forest. I knew the king only wanted you, as the great experiment to see how quickly an heir could be produced.
I knew that if we threatened you with war, you would eventually come, with the help of the curse, and bring the tracker.
You have too much of a heart to say no.”
So it was all…for nothing? I stand there, a little dumbfounded. I had known I was a pawn.
But this goes beyond that. I feel stupid. I feel manipulated. There was a long period of my life when I believed that the best part of me was my heart. It is my strength. The thing that keeps me sane even through the worst of times.
Now, I feel the pull of cynicism. I feel those bits of myself slipping away, and if my goodness is not a foundation upon which to build a life, then who am I?
I curse the week spent alone on the boat ride over here. I curse the time that has slowly but surely shifted my mind. Once I saw certain things, certain ideas in a new light, I couldn’t seem to go back.
“So you have used my conscience against me.”
He smiles. “Now you see why it is much better to do without one. As far as the elves knew, the Enduares would die out in a hundred years more, and then we would be free to claim the remnants of ruined cities. The gems, the machines, the weapons, they would all be for us.”
My head spins. “When Teo reached out to make an alliance, he spoke about how elves had long favored relationships with the Enduares over giants. I thought that meant that your people, particularly because of the long-held belief of your species being kin somewhere in the distant past, would soften their demeanor toward us.”
“I highly suggest you eliminate the words ‘our,’ ‘we,’ and ‘my’ when you refer to the Enduares, for the longevity of your time here.” When I don’t respond to his attempt to deflect, one very clearly veiled in a threat, Thorne shrugs and sits down on the upholstered bench at the foot of my massive bed.
“And to answer your question, that was when the Enduares posed a real threat. There is power in numbers, and the giants had the one thing that the Enduares could never really offer: humans.” Thorne smooths the fabric of his pant leg.
“What did King Teo really promise? A handful of humans for matehood?
“Elves do not care about matehood anymore. We haven’t in centuries.
Even before the eruption wiped out entire cities where women and children were being safe-housed during the war, matings became rare.
And now? There are too few women left. Who cares about love or divine blessings? We need children—a new generation.”
I blink. “So you wish to enslave us, too?”
“No, not at all. Arion worked with Rholker, as I’m sure you remember with stark clarity.
We saw how you were treated like animals raised for their meat.
The living conditions sound dreadful, in particular.
Along with the punishments.” He grimaces.
“Some of you may become trades workers, but most of your women will have a good life. We wish to marry you off to the most affluent families, and then you will be given titles, places, homes to run, and families to care for. Men and women alike.”
My head swims with facts about women in Shvathemar.
Perhaps the titled men would find it easier to navigate this world, but women were not allowed to be seen without their husbands’ permission.
They were rarely allowed to pursue careers, and when they were, the choices were seldom their own. Just like my ladies-in-waiting.
Among these women, some might find bliss in such a life. I knew that to be the case even in my own life.
But…with the Enduares, men and women alike had control over their homes, their partnerships, their lives, and their bodies.
In marrying Arion, it is already very clear to me that my body belongs to him, and not in some way that might be considered a romantic gesture of submission. He will not belong to me at all, but I will be his.
“You promise there are no humans enslaved here?”
He doesn’t pause. “None.”
I bite my lip. “If you think that marriage is a step up from the cruelty of living through slavery, then you would be correct. However, it is only marginally better, and for some women, maybe even some men, it may be just as bad.”
Thorne considers my words. “Then it will be what any of us have to confront in life. But you are smart—I hope you see now that the Enduares are, and have been, inconsequential in the grand scheme of the elven empire. But you, the one that the king feels drawn to. If this experiment works, then we will improve our birth rates in no time.”
I nod slowly. “And what do the elves think about such widespread blood mixing?”
He flinches, and I remember that he is a Peredhel. A halfling: half human, half elf.
“Oh,” I say dumbly. “The king has already elevated you above others. Do you experience unkindness here?”
He sighs. “Do not try to analyze my mind, Arlet; it is not so deep or moldable as you might wish. The reason I am here is to guide you, and ensure that you are the perfect bride in manner as you already are in form. This place is not as it appears, despite being beautiful and relatively civilized, as some say. It is just as savage as the bloody ruthlessness in the giant court.”
I am surprised to hear his words, and a part of me returns to the feeling of wrongness that came over me with the dressmakers.
“And you, human, have your own secrets to protect. Do not think I have forgotten the stories told to me in Enduvida. I know that you lost a child. I know you have lain with men. I know that your womb is deficient.”
I blink, yet again taken off guard by his harsh words. My cheeks burn and my lungs freeze. If he knows all of this… “Then how am I here? How am I still alive?”
“Because you are the one Arion wanted. I have let him believe convenient lies, and you will work with me to ensure those lies remain undiscovered. Understood? If you die, I die.”
Before I am able to make a comment, Thorne stands.
“Your ladies-in-waiting will be back soon to help you dress. I see you trying to endear yourself to them. Do. Not. Trust. Them. Do you understand?”
My face is still burning.
“But my—” I cut myself off, lowering my voice as much as possible. “I need someone to help me prepare my womb for Arion’s child.”
He frowns. “You think I brought you here for everything to fail? I’m afraid, you are going to have to trust me.”
I stare at him, completely disarmed. “Understood,” I say and swallow.
“Good. Now, once you are ready, then you will be taken to dinner with the king. I believe he used the words ‘intimate meal,’ but you can expect at least two dozen royal court members in attendance. Remember that these courtiers do not function like those in the Enduar Court—they are not appointed because of expertise, but because of wealth that has persisted in their families for generations. They control things because of who they know, and they will all want to know you. To watch you, like some rare species of deer. Put on a show.”
I feel more uneasy by the second.
“What does that mean? They don’t want to know about my life in poverty, or me serving in a court of people that they seem to think of as lesser than?”
Thorne chuckles. “Being the pet of someone with power means just that. They want to know about the pitiful, degrading, ugly experiences of your time as a slave. Don’t let their poise fool you—they want to hear of your suffering and use it for their own personal entertainment.”
I shift. “But my time with the Enduares was…”
“Yes, yes, so perfect. So freeing. Spin it. Make them believe you were taken from one place and forced to work. The more that they see you as a charity case that the king has brought in out of the hidden goodness of his powerful, seemingly unfeeling heart, the more they will feel comfortable with this experiment.”
I nod slowly. “And what shouldn’t I talk about?”
“Your opinions. They don’t need to know your thoughts on the different types of people you’ve met, on the government, on women, or, gods forbid, education.
Keep compliments surface-level. ‘The most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen,’ ‘I am so impressed with how clean and bright things are.’” He considers his words for a second.
“Remember. You are a helpless doe. Make yourself as nonthreatening as possible.”
I bite my lip. I almost have it in me to ask him if these are all pieces of advice that he has taken himself, but remember what he said. He knows the truth about my virginity and my womb. He could expose me at any time.
But…as he’s admitted, our fates are tied.
The more time I spend with him, the more I feel like he is a puzzle I cannot unravel.
Let it be, then.
I let him continue to guide me through instructions, soaking up every detail with as much exactness as I can muster.