Chapter 11
VANN
After showing Seraph to Teo and making sure the dragon was given enough meat to glut herself on, I headed to my dwelling.
While seeing Teo had been a comforting reunion, I also find comfort in solace. Especially in this place haunted by ghosts of laughter, warmth, and fire-red locks. I see her on the corner, walking with Estela. I picture her giving classes near Hammerhead Hall. Laughing after events.
Gods. I had everything, and I was too stubborn to realize it.
As I walk the street lined with the houses of the council members, I stop in front of Arlet’s home. It looks almost the same as the last time I saw it. A small, wilting garden is still out front. Crystals glitter in the wall directly behind it. I see woven curtains through the windows.
I remember how worried I was when I saw her standing over a bloody cave spider’s leg. Then, just days later, I remember how awful it had been to barge in and find her standing over the body of the poor man she’d killed while cursed.
Would she want to live here upon her return?
Would she have forgiven me enough to move into my home?
It’s a cold place filled with weapons. There is little warmth or coziness, unlike her home, which had been covered in pillows, blankets, and rugs.
Even my paintings mostly occupy Mother Liana’s shelves, not my own.
I drag my hand over my face.
Whatever she wants, I swear, I will do it.
As I stand at the gate outside her house, I consider going in, just to see if her scent lingers. To see if the room where the man died has been scrubbed clean.
But I hold myself back. To smell her again would be a privilege, one I will only have earned once I find her and bring her home.
For now, I take solace in the fact I have a plan.
All that is left is to gather supplies, bathe, sleep, and continue my journey. The clarity that comes with rest will lend itself to my strength, and I will find her.
I will prove myself to her.
When I finally enter my dwelling, I find Liana waiting at the table, staring at the wall of weapons on the opposite side of the room.
“You broke in?” I tease, half-heartedly.
She looks up at me. “I wanted to chat before you ran off after her again.” Then she sets a pouch on the table in front of her.
“This is from Mrath. I asked to be the one to give it to you, that I might have the chance to speak with you plainly.” I pick it up and open it, finding an actual godsdamned seed.
A large, brown one—a little bigger than an acorn.
It seems utterly unremarkable.
“How does this work?”
“Arlet must put it somewhere on the throne. It should work by itself, though.” Then she reaches out and puts another pouch on the table.
I raise my eyebrow as I hear the resonance that would only come from several valuable gems. “More gifts?”
She smiles. “I also wanted to bring you these for your journey, along with half a dozen speaking stones. Since I will also be leaving Enduvida for Shvathemar, it would be good that we have a way to stay in contact. There is something in there for me to communicate with you as well.”
I give her a half smile. “Last time you practically pushed me out of the caves after her.”
She purses her lips. “I sensed there was more to your relationship.” She leans forward. “And I was right. So tell me, why has the matehood finally decided to reveal itself now?”
I sigh. It was already bothersome enough to explain myself to Teo. But as I get the story out to her once again, she listens in total silence.
A few minutes after I finish, she says, “I too have made poor bargains in my time. Best not to dwell. Life must be lived moving forward.”
I furrow my brow. “Why did you volunteer to help Mrath?”
She hesitates. “I know Shvathemar. I used to spend a lot of time there.”
I frown. “What?”
She smirks. “In my youth, I was much more adventurous than you see me now.”
My brows rise. “Were you visiting someone?”
She narrows her eyes. “I was trying to find my parents. They were abducted during the skirmishes between the elves and Enduares and put in a prison camp.”
I swallow.
“Well, shit.” The prison camps had been deplorable places where our kind was forced to work to the death after losing their homes, families, and villages. Having family subjected to that must’ve been awful. “Forgive me.”
She shakes her head, brushing me off. “That city seems orderly and beautiful from the outside, but I think you will hate it. Its layer of extravagance and order thinly veils its rot. Not to mention, it is dangerous—especially for our kind, but even for the untitled, penniless elves.”
“Since you have been there before, what do you recommend?”
She looks me straight in the eye. “In your case, I recommend that you find someone who can glamour you before they try to impale you again.”
I nod, remembering how there had been elves in the Sisterhood who glamoured other Enduares for missions in the past. Thorne had a talent for it, but now, apparently, the fucking bastard has defected.
“Do you have a connection?”
She hesitates, as if thinking. Then shakes her head.
“But Mrath might. “ Let me ask,” Liana continues. “I want you to know that I will try to help you from a distance.” I will do everything in my power to make sure Arlet is safe if I arrive in the capital before you.”
My brows furrow in confusion, but I still manage a simple, “I thank you.” Surely, as a Fuegorra reader, she has the ability to have visions that might tell her where Arlet is at a given time. But how else can she help? Does she have connections within Arion’s court?
Then she stands. “Thank you for telling me what you had done.” She hesitates, looking down at me. “Try to sleep. Change your clothes. Come to me if you need something.”
I nod, and then walk her out the front door. Once she is out of sight, I go back to the table, finding a stone paper scroll with a bit of charcoal sitting on the corner of the table. I pick it up, finding Arlet’s likeness staring back at me.
Gods, I miss her. Her wild, full hair, perfectly shaped lips, small spots dotting her skin, and piercing brown eyes.
The love of my life.
My mate.
Something that has been so hard to accept since Adra’s death, and now suddenly, so easy. It wasn’t a betrayal of Adra to love again—it is the nature of life. I loved Adra with my whole soul. She was a good person and we were good to and for each other.
But that chapter of my life has ended, revealing a new chapter. A new adventure.
A mate.
Something I have never experienced before.
Despite the desperate need for sleep and preparation, I sit down and begin sketching anew. I draw on my memory to savor every detail of her beautiful face.
I think of all the other things I might need. Knives. Rope. It would be good to bring her some familiar things as well. A gown, and maybe one of her romance scrolls. Small offerings, but ways I can prove to her that I know her. That not everything was a lie.
I have a little time left to fix this or lose her forever.