Chapter 31
When Jamie entered the chamber, Sheena was asleep in the chair by the fire, still dressed, her hair flowing over the side of the chair to form a shimmering red pool on the floor.
Her arms were crossed over her breasts, her feet tucked under her skirt.
Had she just fallen asleep there, or was she making a deliberate point by not sleeping in the bed?
Jamie added wood to the dying fire before he sat down at Sheena’s feet to stare up at her. She looked so peaceful without the glimmer of tears in her eyes. Aye, he had seen the unshed tears, and the pain. But how to make it right with her?
He picked up the dark tresses lying on the floor and fanned them through his fingers. Their wedding day! What an utter fiasco, except for that little time together. How could she forget that time? Didn’t it matter at all?
He wasn’t going to wake her and hear more accusations.
Enough angry words had been thrown at him that night.
Colen had accused him of being ten kinds of a fool, and Aunt Lydia had had her say, as well, upbraiding him severely for letting the feud start again.
But neither of them had made him admit he might have made a mistake.
It was actually Black Gawain who had made him consider the possibility.
His cousin showed not a whit of remorse for what had transpired, enjoying himself on Jamie’s wedding day though Jamie no longer could.
Jamie’s temper finally got the best of him, and he ordered Gawain from the hall, sick of the sight of him, sick over the fates that had turned Sheena against him again.
Sheena woke to see Jamie sitting on the floor near her, her hair entwined in his fingers. She stiffened and yanked the hair away from him.
Jamie turned to her, his eyes gleaming brightly in the firelight.
He stood up and held out his hand, but she made no move to take it.
He sighed. “Come to bed, lass. It has been a tiring day, and we can both use the rest.” She still didn’t move, so he added, “I’ll no’ be bothering you, if that has you worried. ”
Her eyes rose slowly to meet his, and when he saw how much anger was there, he wondered again if he could ever make it right with her.
“I only waited here to tell you I’ll no’ be staying in this room with you,” she said.
“You will indeed stay here,” Jamie replied adamantly.
She glared at him. “I want the tower room repaired, Jamie!”
“Nay! Dinna force it, Sheena,” he warned her. “I’ll no’ be gossiped about as my father was whenever my mother got the sulks. I warned you ’afore there’d be no doors ’atween us.”
“You’ll sleep on the floor then!”
“I’ll sleep on the bed!”
“Then I’ll—”
“You’ll cease this blathering now!” he stormed. “I’ve said I’ll no’ bother you. Leave it be.” She seemed ready to continue shouting, and he said tiredly, “Go to sleep, lass.” He began to remove his clothes.
Sheena turned away from him and stared at the fire, still standing in the center of the room. They had both carefully refrained from mentioning the real issue. Sheena knew that if Jamie dared to try to justify his doing nothing to Black Gawain, she would say things she might regret.
Jamie wasn’t going to discuss it, he had decided. He didn’t have to explain himself to anyone. Sheena had no right to question him. If he let her sway him now on any issue, it would always be so. He couldn’t allow that. She was only a wife—albeit a beautiful, tempting curse. Be damned to her!
He lay down on the bed but couldn’t rest.
“I’ll no’ stand for this, Sheena.”
“What?” She turned to face him, and he sat up. “This anger ’atween us. This room is no place for it.”
Her eyes narrowed. “This room is the only place for it!” she hissed. “Or would you rather I be telling you what I think of you in front of your kin?”
“Tell me now and get it over with,” he said, bracing himself.
“You’re a coward!” she cried. “You didna dare pass fair judgment for fear your kin would cry favoritism on my behalf. You couldna bear that, to be accused of being partial to your wife. So you did what was wrong in order to save yourself that!”
“I didna do wrong, and partiality had naught to do with it, Sheena.”
“For me, nay, but for Black Gawain it did. You canna tell me otherwise.”
“Would you rather have seen your kin forced to arms?” he asked.
“The atmosphere was too heated, Sheena. My kin would never have stood for a judgment against Black Gawain. Why should they? They believed him. They would never have considered the word of a Fergusson, two Fergussons, a dozen, no’ over a MacKinnion.
Too many years of hatred have made it so. They believed Gawain.”
“Nay!” she cried. “If you had waited till Iain recovered, you’d have seen his story would be the same as my kinsman’s—without Iain’s having heard it. That would have been proof. You could have waited, Jamie.”
“It is done. I canna bemoan it now.”
“You could,” she said bitterly. “But you willna because you dinna care.”
“Och, Sheena, it wouldna make any difference to change my mind. Can you no’ see that? All that matters is further bloodshed.”
“I see only that my father will never forgive you for the injustice you dealt my clan.”
“I saved them any more fighting!” he returned sharply. “Is that injustice?”
“So a Fergusson is never to be dealt with fairly? Is that what you’re telling me, Jamie?”
“Sheena, ’twill all take time. The feud is over, it ended when I made you my wife. I’ll no’ be starting it again, no matter what. In time, old grudges will be forgotten. We’ll even visit your father and make it right with him. It will just take time.”
“And what of Black Gawain?” she demanded. “Is he to get away with what he did?”
His face was set in a hard tine. “I’ve no’ said I agree with you that he’s guilty.”
“But he is!”
“Then if he is, I’ll deal with him in my own way!” Jamie replied in exasperation.
“Will you? Or will you just forget about it once you think I have?”
Jamie sighed. “You have to understand about Gawain, Sheena. His sister was killed in the spring, when your father saw fit to resume the feud. Gawain was—”
“What?” She cut him short. “We didna begin the raiding again. You did!”
“Och, Sheena, no more lies.”
Jamie watched the play of emotions cross her face, from hurt, gone quickly, to anger, there to stay. He became incensed. Why was she holding on to that ridiculous claim? Was she really so ignorant of her father’s treachery?
Her blue eyes flashed dangerously, and she began to speak, but he stopped her.
“Enough is enough, Sheena,” Jamie warned darkly.
“Enough? Aye, and ’tis I who’ve had enough of you!” she cried.
Swinging his legs off the bed, he reached for her, but anger gave her the strength to jerk away.
He reached for her again, and her temper exploded, knowing how futile would be her efforts to fight him off.
While she had the chance, she slapped him with all the strength she had.
Even when Jamie raised his hand to hit her back she regretted nothing.
But he didn’t strike her. Her eyes were shooting great sapphire-blue sparks at him, daring him, yet he couldn’t.
“Why do you hesitate?” she demanded, her voice a whip. “I dinna fear you anymore, Jamie. You couldna hurt me more than you already have.”
“I canna hit you.”
“Why not?”
His chest ached as if pressed by a great weight. “Because I think it would hurt me more than you,” he said, furious with himself for feeling that way. “Now why is that?”
She didn’t know. Her throat constricted tightly, and she didn’t understand that either. And then he was kissing her, crushing her in a powerful embrace, and she understood at last.
No sooner had the kiss begun than there was hammering at the door. Jamie broke away and wrapped himself in his plaid before bellowing, “Enter!” After the irascible welcome, the entering was most hesitant.
Sheena sank down on the bed, dazed. She was amazed to feel her anger vanquished by the simple touch of Jamie’s lips. How was that possible?
“I didna want to be disturbing you, but ’twas necessary,” Colen was saying to Jamie.
The portentous tone drew Sheena’s full attention.
“Be done with it, lad,” Jamie prompted when he saw Colen’s hesitation.
“There’s been a raid, Jamie. Hamish and Jock were wounded, and it doesna look as if Hamish will recover.”
Jamie’s face turned to stone. “How many livestock lifted?”
“None. All were killed, and the croft fired.”
Sheena drew her breath in sharply as Jamie’s eyes pierced her. She knew what conclusion he had drawn.
“Nay!” she cried, coming off the bed to stand before him. “Nay, he wouldna have done that.”
“But he did,” Jamie said. “’Tis the same as in the spring—no’ a common raid, but slaughter and perverse destruction. And I let it happen. I didna think he would have the effrontery to exact revenge for what happened today, so I put no extra guards around.”
“But you’re wrong, Jamie!”
He turned to Colen again. “How many in the attack?”
“Jock swears to at least half a dozen.”
“Did he see them well?”
There was a lengthy silence before Colen mumbled, “Well enough.”
“Then tell my wife, if you will, the colors they wore,” Jamie commanded.
Her eyes pleaded with Colen, but he could not lie. “I’m sorry, lass, but the colors were indeed your father’s. I wish I could tell you different.”
She looked at the two of them, Colen doleful, Jamie holding on to his emotions tightly.
“Your kinsman was mistaken!” she raged at them. “And you’re detestable, both of you, to think otherwise!”
“Leave us and ready my horse!” Jamie ordered Colen.
“You canna do this, Jamie. You canna ride against my clan!” she shouted at him.
“You are presuming to know my intention,” he replied harshly, turning to dress.
“I suppose you feel your father was justified?” he asked her after a silence.
“I didna say that. But put yourself in his place. If my father hadna given you justice where it was deserving, would you have sought justice on your own?” He glared at her, and she added bitterly, “You would have, and you know it. But my father canna afford to, and you know that, too. He wanted no more of this feud. He did everything he could to protect himself against it.”
“You forget the alliances he’s made through your sisters. They were all wed soon after you were banished, I was told. Your father may feel he now has the strength to continue the feud against me.”
“Then why did he give me to you as wife?”
“I forced him to it!”
“Did you?” she shouted. “Then what of the strength you say he has now? If he is so powerful that he can fight you now, Jamie, then he would have fought you then. Instead, he agreed. And he argued till he was blue in the face to get me to agree. I wish to God I had defied him!”
“I’m beginning to wish you had, too!” Jamie retorted furiously, before storming out of the room.