Chapter 32
Sheena woke the next morning to find herself alone. She pulled herself up to a sitting position, but she didn’t have the will to do any more than that. She just sat there. Her eyes hurt, for she had cried herself to sleep. Her whole body seemed to hurt from the terrible sobs that had racked her.
A pointless thing, crying. It didn’t change anything. And it certainly didn’t make her feel better.
She stared out the window at the dismal sky, dark with clouds. Morning, and Jamie not returned. So he had gone to Angusshire. It was daylight now. The MacKinnion always struck in daylight. Was he attacking Tower Esk at that very moment?
A horrible image of a bloody battle came to mind, and she shook her head against it. But the image would not go away, and she began to hear screams and cries as well. Her father’s. Niall’s.
Her hands covered her ears, and she leaped off the bed and paced furiously to drive the image away.
She couldn’t stand not knowing what was happening at home.
And if the agony of wondering was not terrible enough, she would have to be waiting when Jamie returned, his hands bloody.
She would have to face him, knowing what he’d done to her family.
She wouldn’t! She would leave while he was gone. No one would dare stop her this time. She was The MacKinnion’s wife. She would take a horse and be well away before he returned.
But where would she go? She couldn’t ride straight for home and risk coming upon Jamie. She would go to Aberdeen and her Aunt Erminia. That was better. Together they would find out if she still had a home to return to, and a family.
She opened the door but stopped short, finding the servant Gertie there, about to knock.
“I’ve brought yer things, lass,” Gertie explained as she entered. “I thought yer might like to be changing ’afore yer come down to greet the guests.”
“Guests?”
“Aye, they’ve been arriving all morning,” Gertie said as she laid the gowns on the still-rumpled bed, tsk, tsking as she did so. “Did yer only just awake, lass? ’Tis late, you know.”
Sheena frowned. “How late?”
“Och, nearly noon it is. We were beginning to wonder if yer’d be coming down or no’. Doris was saying as how yer might be ’afeared to, after what happened. But I told her yer’ve more spunk than that. It wasna yer doing, what happened.”
Wasn’t it? Sheena thought ruefully. If Jamie hadn’t wanted her so badly, would he have kept her at Castle Kinnion?
Would he have wed her? There would have been no wedding, and no “accident,” as Jamie called it.
Her father would be safe at Tower Esk, and she would have been returned to Aberdeen.
Perhaps she might not have been whisked away by Colen in the first place.
It was all her fault, the fault of her looks.
Her beauty had always been a curse—would it always be so?
But here was a kindly soul who didn’t blame her, even though she blamed herself.
“Will yer be wearing this lovely blue gown, lass? It do bring out the color of yer hair, making it glow as if ’twere on fire.”
Sheena looked at the gowns, Lydia’s lovely ones and her own threadbare one. “I’ll wear the green.” It was her own.
Gertie’s look registered her disapproval. “As yer wish,” she said tightly. “But if yer dinna mind my saying so, yer should be telling the laird ’tis high time he was seeing to yer needs. “Tis no’ as if he doesna hae cloth to spare and wouldna give it gladly.”
“’Tis no’ for me to be asking,” Sheena said.
“Och, now, who has more right than yerself, eh?” Gertie clucked. “’Tis his wife yer are, or hae yer forgotten that sae soon?”
“I didna forget.”
Gertie didn’t hear, or chose to ignore, the bitterness in Sheena’s voice.
“Well, then, yer must be dressing as befits the wife of a Highland laird. Great beastie that he is. Sir Jamie doesna ken the needs of a wife. Yer could start by insisting he send for yer own lovely things. I’m sure yer father would no’ begrudge yer, even after what’s happened. ”
“I’d rather no’ be discussing this right now, Gertie, if you dinna mind.”
“Of course, lassie. I’ll be going.”
“Gertie, wait.” Sheena stopped her. “You said there are guests?”
“Aye, there are indeed. Keiths and MacDonoughs hae arrived, and Gregorys and Martins will nae doubt come ’afore the end of the day.”
Sheena turned sickly pale. Those were clans aligned with the MacKinnions, clans Jamie could call on for war. So he had not attacked yet, but was instead planning a full-scale slaughter! Why else would he send for all those clans?
“What is amiss, lass?” Gertie asked worriedly.
“He…he’s brought them all here to…” She stopped herself from going too far.
Gertie clucked again, misunderstanding Sheena’s distress. “Och, you’ve naught to fear meeting friends of the MacKinnions. Why, Thais is sae eager to meet yer, ’twas she who sent me up here to see how soon yer’d be coming down.”
“Thais?”
“Sir Jamie’s younger sister,” Gertie explained. “Fair fashed she was wi’ him, too, for no’ waiting till she and her husband arrived.”
Sheena was going to be wretchedly sick. Not waiting? So he had attacked after all!
“Och, what did I say, lass?” Gertie was at her side in an instant. “Yer wait right here, and I’ll be getting Sir Jamie.”
“He’s here?”
“Where else would he be, wi’ sae many wedding guests to attend?”
“Wedding…” Sheena was beside herself with relief. “Why did you no’ say so, Gertie? I thought the guests were…”
“Och, the celebrating will go on for days. Sir Jamie didna tell yer he’s invited one and all to meet his new bride?”
“Nay. After yesterday…”
“Dinna fash yerself about yesterday, lassie,” Gertie said firmly. “Sir Jamie’s no’ going to let it spoil the wedding, and neither should yerself.”
“When did Jamie return?”
“He didna leave the castle, except to see what could be done for Jock and Hamish. He wasna gone long.”
“Did…Hamish…?”
Gertie patted her shoulder. “He’s holding his own, bless him. He may recover. Now are yer sure about the green gown?”
“I’ll wear the blue after all,” Sheena conceded absentmindedly.
She had to talk to Jamie. This was a reprieve, but maybe only because so many guests had been invited and he could hardly turn them away. But when they left? She had to know what Jamie meant to do.