Chapter 24
Charlotte
Tip #24: Sometimes it’s better for your heart if you actually leave the office.
T he sounds of traffic exploded around us in the unloading zone by the departure gates. I hefted my pastel blue, hard-shell suitcase out of Ella’s trunk, the weight of it nearly toppling me over.
Ella steadied me with a hand on my arm. “Whoa there, world traveler. You sure you can handle that thing?”
“It’s fine.” I set it down on the sidewalk and extended the handle. “I’ve got this.”
Ella, folding her arms across her chest and, channeling my mother, mashed her lips together. “Right. Do you have your passport?”
I dutifully shrugged off my compact backpack and unzipped the front pocket, fumbling through its contents. My fingers brushed against the familiar leather booklet, and I held it up triumphantly. “Yep. I’ve got my flight information and hotel information too.”
“Good.” Ella nodded. “And you emailed me your itinerary, right?”
“Yes, Mom.” I chuckled “And because I know you’ll worry, I sent you the contact info for my guide in Zurich.”
“Right—she’s meeting you at the airport to give you your train pass, right?” Ella asked.
“Correct,” I said. “She’s also taking me to my first hotel.”
The guide was a lifesaver. She also happened to be the same guide Isaac had recommended, but I was doing my best to avoid thinking of him.
Ella took a deep breath and squared her shoulders. “OK then. It sounds like you’re all set. Have a good flight. I can’t wait to hear all about your amazing trip.”
“Thanks, Ella. And thanks for the ride.”
“Of course.” Ella’s expression turned serious. “But Charlotte… are you OK? Really OK?”
My heart clenched. I knew what she was truly asking about.
“I’m fine,” I lied, plastering on a bright smile. “I mean, I’m about to embark on the trip of a lifetime! What’s not to be OK about?”
Ella’s eyes narrowed. “That’s not what I meant, and you know it.”
My shoulders slumped as the facade crumbled. The ache I’d been trying to ignore came rushing back, threatening to overwhelm me. At least I wasn’t crying anymore, but that wasn’t because I felt any better. More like I’d shed so many tears over the past few days my tear ducts hurt.
“No,” I admitted in a small voice. “I’m not over it. Over him.”
Ella’s face softened. “Oh honey, of course you’re not. You and Isaac were friends for years. That kind of hurt doesn’t just disappear overnight.”
I nodded numbly. The memory of Isaac’s face—the gleam of his gray eyes, his perfectly styled dark brown hair, and his rare smile that always warmed me to the tips of my toes—hit me like a physical blow. My chest felt hollow, as if someone had scooped out all my insides and left nothing but an aching void.
“I know,” I said. “But this trip, I think it’ll help. I’ve wanted to go to Switzerland for years; this is the perfect way to start a new chapter of life.”
Ella gave me a sympathetic smile. “It is.”
I plastered on a smile, determined to change the subject. “Anyway, I’m more worried about you surviving without me for three whole weeks. Who’s going to keep you out of trouble?”
Ella laughed and slapped her hands on her jean-clad thighs. “Please, I’ll be fine. I’ve got plenty to keep me busy. I’m going to start sorting through all my crap and prepping for the move.”
I shrugged my backpack on and tried not to dread the future. Not only had I lost Isaac, I’d soon be losing Ella as my housemate and close friend since she would undoubtedly be moving out of state once Nate got his new orders.
Wow, this year was really proving to be quite awful. (Although I was happy for Ella’s sake that she’d finally be living with her husband again.)
“At least you finally got rid of those guppies,” I said, determined to sound cheerful.
“Oh yeah. They just wouldn’t stop multiplying, and I was sick of buying more Ikea furniture to put their tanks on.” Ella put her hands on her hips, then grinned in a way that usually made my sense of self-preservation roar to life. “Actually, I still have an empty tank I never ended up using. I was thinking of getting a new pet. Maybe a gerbil?”
My jaw dropped.
“Although, if I want a gerbil, I’ll have to get two because they do best in pairs,” Ella continued.
I must have looked absolutely horrified because Ella burst out laughing. “Your face!” She wheezed. “Don’t worry; I learned my lesson. If I get gerbils, I promise they’ll be the same gender this time.”
“Good,” I said emphatically. “The last thing I need is to come home to a gerbil sanctuary.”
Ella chuckled, then glanced at the line of cars crawling past. “I should get going.” She pulled me into a bear hug, squeezing tight. “Have an amazing time, OK? Don’t think about Isaac or work or anything. Be safe and have fun.”
“I will,” I promised, even as doubt niggled at the back of my mind.
Ella released me and jogged around her car, waving as she climbed into the driver’s seat. I waved back, then grabbed my suitcase and headed into the terminal.
I’d just walked through the doors when my cell phone beeped with a message—my flight was delayed by almost two hours.
Not ideal, but that was air travel. I’d drop my suitcase off and then take my time getting through security and to my gate.
As I searched for my airline’s check-in desk, I tried to ignore the growing knot in my stomach. I desperately hoped this trip would be the reset I needed. The past few days had been pure torture—seeing Isaac every day at work, pretending everything was fine when inside I was falling apart. Each glance, each accidental brush of hands as we passed files back and forth, was a stark reminder that I wasn’t enough. That we couldn’t make it work.
I swallowed hard, forcing those thoughts away. Three weeks in Europe. New sights, new people, new memories. It had to help. It just had to.