Chapter 15
Amanda awoke with a stretch and a yawn. It had been difficult to get to sleep at first, to get used to the presence of another.
Logan had quirks of heavy breathing and deep snores that sounded like a giant’s rumbling bellow, but eventually she had fallen to sleep.
In the morning she awoke before him and watched his chest rise and fall.
The more she looked at him, the more impressed she was, and she felt a little foolish for having denied herself the pleasure of his body.
The tight knot had not been loosened within, but she knew that it had been the right decision.
Now, more than with Hamilton, she was angry at her body for being cursed with the inability to bear children because it was going to prevent her from being with this man.
Logan was many things she desired, but she knew that she was not.
With Hamilton, she wanted to do her wifely duty, but it was never to make Hamilton happy but rather to have a child herself so that she might enjoy some boon in life.
With Logan it was different. She wanted to make him happy as well as herself, but she knew that he needed a child.
He had lost one already, so his next marriage needed to be with a healthy woman in the prime of her life who would not fall victim to the rigors of childbirth.
Logan awoke not long after she did and smiled at her.
She feigned a smile and pretended that she had nothing on her mind except pleasant thoughts.
He kissed her lightly on the lips. She thought for a moment that she could get used to this before she remembered it would not last forever. He then began to get dressed.
“Where are you going?” she asked.
“I’m gaeing tae gather the men and ride tae see if we can gather any information on Bram.
I cannae sit here for another day and wait.
If I can track down some of the merchants, they might be willing tae share what they know with us.
Merchants always know more, and one of them told me that Bram haes been active.
Now that we know children are involved, they might hae more information,” he said.
Amanda nodded and said that it sounded like a good idea. While he was gone, she would spend time with Lillie and try to ease the girl’s concerns.
Amanda walked to Lillie’s room and found her eating breakfast. Lillie stiffened when she sensed the door opening but relaxed when she saw that it was Amanda.
“It’s only me. How are you feeling today? I’m sorry that I didn’t come by and see you yesterday. I thought you would like to get some rest.”
Lillie nodded. “I was sleeping for most of the day. Some of the things Deirdre gives me makes me sleepy as well. I’m feeling a wee bit better. I dinnae hae a headache any longer, although I still get a wee bit woozy when I try and stand up. Food helps.”
“Food always helps,” Amanda said, smiling warmly. She approached the bed and took a seat, glad to see that Lillie did not move away from her. “Did Deirdre tell you what’s going to happen?”
Lillie shook her head.
“Logan and I are going to return to my estate with you if you would like to come with us. It’s still safe, I promise. Then we’re going to try and find out more information about Bram MacGavin. If we can find out where he took you, then we can rescue the children, including your sister.”
Lillie’s face lit up at this.
“Dae ye think it’s possible?!” she asked with a gasp.
“I believe so. Logan has already gathered his men. All we need to do is know where he is, and then you shall be reunited with your sister. You must miss her.”
Lillie nodded, and her head drooped. A somber look came upon her face.
“I tried sae hard tae protect her. But Bram still haes her. I hope I see her again. She’s only wee…”
Amanda’s heart was filled with concern again.
“Lillie, may I ask what happened to your parents?”
Lillie pursed her lips and then shrugged.
“Da got ill and died. Ma waited for a while, and then she told me that she haed tae leave because she could nae afford tae live where we were living. She then left us with some coin and bread and told us that we haed tae find a job somewhere. The bread didnae last long. Neither did the coin. People dinnae want tae hire two runts like us. But then one day this man approached us. He said he could give us some food if we ran a wee errand for him. It was only taking a package tae someone waiting in the forest. Then we went back and we haed the best meal we’d haed in ages.
It seemed good at the start. And then…” she trailed away.
Amanda could see the haunted look in her eyes, and her heart was filled with pity. She reached out and took Lillie’s hand, squeezing it gently. Lillie seemed to appreciate the gesture, although she did not allow her hand to linger in Amanda’s palm.
“Well, let’s talk about something different, something a little more cheerful. Do you know of my estate?”
Lille nodded. “The big house.”
Amanda smiled. “That’s right. And when we get there, you can have a look around.
I know you have been stuck in this room, but if you ask me, the keep here isn’t very homely.
It’s very grand, of course, but there’s so many bricks around and so many stairs.
It needs a splash of color in the gardens.
I think you’ll like my gardens. I have planted a variety of plants, most of which are from the Highlands.
I like sitting in my study, looking out at the flowers swaying in the breeze.
The scent is marvelous as well. It’s all very relaxing,” Amanda said, hoping that this would show Lillie that there was still hope out there for her, that there was still a better way for her to live.
“And then while we spend time in the estate, brave Logan is going to save your sister and all the other children, and then you can be reunited. We’ll have a grand feast—the grandest feast that this village has ever seen.”
“Will yer children be there tae?” Lillie asked.
The words cut through Amanda’s good mood; her smile faltered. It was not Lillie’s fault, though. Being a child, she would have assumed that every adult woman was a mother.
“I don’t actually have any children, but I have always wanted some, so I’m glad to know you. Perhaps when we reach the estate we can spend some time reading together.”
“I cannae read,” Lillie said with a sense of shame.
“That’s no matter, I can teach you! And we can do lots of fun things,” Amanda said, smiling widely.
Lillie looked uncertain, but Amanda had no doubt that she could make Lillie happy.
The thought of having children, even just one, in the estate made Amanda overjoyed.
This mood only increased when Logan walked into the room to come and check on Lillie.
As he entered, Amanda looked at both of them and thought that it felt like a family.
It may not have been a genuine one, but she was determined to enjoy it for as long as it lasted.