CHAPTER 19 #2
I kept him to myself because he was the one thing I had that the block couldn’t touch, couldn’t stain.
But Mia was my best friend, and not telling her felt wrong.
We shared everything or at least we used to.
But I couldn’t give this part of me away.
Not when she was being pulled deeper into the block’s gravity, spinning closer to something I was trying to escape.
I knew I wanted something different. Something more.
School let out and Marcus was still here. Solid. Same as always. One night, he asked me out to dinner.
“I want you to meet my parents,” he stated, like it was simple. It definitely wasn’t simple.
“Oh, wow. I’ve neva’ met anyone’s parents.”
He made a face.
“Don’t worry. They are cool.” That didn’t help.
Russell and Dr. Claire Blackstone have been together since high school.
Russell became an attorney, and he took cases people couldn’t afford to fight on their own.
Low-income families. Minority clients who didn’t have the money or the connections to be heard.
Work that didn’t always come with recognition but mattered anyway.
Dr. Claire Blackstone was a physician. A psychiatrist to be exact.
Her presence was calm, but firm. A woman who didn’t have to raise her voice, because her demeanor spoke for her.
Together, they built a beautiful life, with two sons.
Marcus’ older brother Michael was already away at college.
They spoke about him with great pride. A household where activities were planned, where futures were talked about because they were real and reachable.
The night came, and I fiddled in front of the mirror more than I needed to.
Fixing things. Refixing them. Trying to make sure I looked as though I belonged somewhere I wasn’t sure I did.
When I got there I spotted the contrast immediately.
In the way the room was clean and calm, controlled in a way I wasn’t used to.
His parents sat across from me, very well put together.
They spoke carefully, like their words had been practiced. His mom smiled, politely.
“So, Summer,” she started.
“Marcus talks about you…a lot.”
I sat up straighter with my hands folded in my lap so they wouldn’t show how nervous I was.
“Really?” I was shocked.
Dinner moved slow. Questions came about school, about plans, about what I wanted in life.
Questions nobody really asked on the block.
I answered the best I could. Honest. I was waiting for them to see through me.
For them to decide I didn’t belong there.
They didn’t. His dad nodded and grinned when I spoke.
His mom asked follow-ups, like she was actually listening.
The food, the conversation, the way Marcus looked at me, I was exactly where I was supposed to be.
When I left, his mom hugged me. Real and tight.
“Come back again,” she told me. I could tell she meant it.
His dad drove me home. On the ride, I sat quiet for a second, looked at Marcus.
“Do you think your mom liked me?” I asked.
He laughed.
“Duh, I told you she would love you, because I love you.” He kissed the back of my hand.
The words completely caught me off guard, sending a rush of heat through me. Hearing that validation from Marcus was everything. I was all the way in too, and tonight proved it.
“I... I love you too.” A massive grin broke across my face, giving away how happy I was.
I laid back in my seat, staring out the window as the city passed by.
Lights flickering, familiar streets coming back into view.
I dangled between two worlds. The one I came from and the one I wasn’t sure I fully belonged in yet.
But it didn’t feel impossible anymore. It felt…
new. Like maybe there was more than one way my story could go.
But… on my block, the peace never lasts. One minute you caught up in a perfect daydream, and the very next second, reality drops something so heavy in your lap that ruins everything you think you’ve built.
The summer of '99 changed the entire dynamic for me.
Up until then, I was just Summer, another kid hanging out on the stoop.
But these streets play a major role in deciding your future.
No matter how hard you try to fight it. No matter how big you try to dream.
Philly always has a way of forcing your hand.
I blame Nico. He still ran the corner with two or three boys always running behind him.
That night Mia crashed at my crib. We burned through the late night hours catching back-to-back episodes of Moesha.
The heat inside was completely unbearable, making sleep impossible.
So we escaped to the front stoop in our shorts, my tank top glued to my skin.
We both sat there drenched in sweat. Too hot to even gossip.
Tone, one of Nico’s boys, came sprinting down the block, wild-eyed, clutching a duffel bag. He spotted us.
“Yo, Summa. Hol’ dis fa me.”
Before I could answer, he shoved the bag into my lap and kept running. Disappearing into the night. The bag was bulky and heavy. I unzipped it enough to see stacks of rubber-banded bills. My heart skipped. Mia leaned close, whispering fast.
“Summer. Dat’s at least ten racks. Maybe more. Dis tha kinda money dat changes everythang.”
My palms sweaty against the canvas bag. The money smelled of smoke and risk, everything Mama warned me about. It also was freedom. New clothes, bills paid, a way out of the struggle. For one wild second, I imagined keeping it.
The next morning, Mama caught me staring at the bag, hidden under my bed. She didn’t know what was in it, but mamas always know. Her eyes narrowed.
“Whatchu got yo’self into, Summer?”
My mouth went dry.
“Nothin’ Mama.”
She stepped closer, voice low and sharp.
“Don’t you lie to me. I see it in ya’ face. Dat’s how it starts. A lil’ secret here. A lil’ lie there. Before you know it, you lost like Shay.”
Her voice cracked on Shay’s name.
“Mama, it ain’t even like dat—”
“It’s exactly like dat!” she snapped, tears welling.
“I already lost one daughter. I won’t lose you too.”
She wasn’t warning me, she was begging. But temptation speaks loud. Very loud.
That duffel bag stayed tucked under my mattress for a week. Every dollar was exactly where it belonged. Knowing that touching a single bill meant crossing a line I couldn't walk back from.
Come Friday, Me and Mia hit the skating rink on Elmwood, our spot when we needed to clear our heads. The bass rattled right through the floorboards. Neon greens and pinks cutting through the dark. Bodies flying around.
Nico held down the dark corner near the arcade machines, tracking every face on the floor. It was unsettling how effortlessly he established his presence. He could set up shop anywhere he pleased, and nobody would say a word.
His eyes tracked me down. A deliberate smirk on his face letting me know, I see you.
We barely cleared the parking lot before his Mustang crept up to our side, the dark glass sliding down to reveal his devilish look.
“Yo’ Summa,” he summoned.
“You holdin’ sumn’ for my boy?”
Panic hit my throat instantly, cutting off my oxygen before I could even process my response.
“Ummm… Yeah.” I whispered.
“Good girl,” he said, eyes flickering.
“Bring it to me tom’ma. You do dat, you won’t eva have to want fa nothin’ again.”
The way he said it was like a threat, it made my stomach curl. Mia gripped my hand as his car pulled off.
“Girl, do you know what dat means? He’s offerin’ you a spot. Like, fa real.”
I knew it, and part of me wanted it.
That night, I couldn’t sleep. The bag sat heavy in the corner. Breathing. Whispering. This could be yours. This could change your life. But Mama’s voice echoed too.
‘I already lost one daughter. I won’t lose you too.’
Daddy’s memory started tugging at me. Would he want this for me? Or was this the same hunger that pulled him down? I sat on the floor until the sky lightened, torn between two paths. Then the block made the decision for me.
Gunshots cracked outside just as the sun rose. Shouting, running, sirens screaming closer. I ran to the window and saw Tone sprawled on the pavement, blood pooling beneath him. Nico’s car sped off, tires screeching. My chest tightened instantly.
Damn.
If I keep this money, that could be me on the ground next. Me bleeding out while the block watched. I pressed my forehead to the glass, trembling. That was my warning. My only warning.
Later that day, I carried the bag of blood money to Nico myself. He opened the door shirtless, tattoos glistening, eyes cold. I threw it down on his table without a word. He smirked.
“Smart girl.”
His eyes lingered, thinking he already had plans for me. I walked away before he could speak again. My legs shook, but I didn’t look back.