Chapter 24 #2
Fortunately, it’s evening, and that means we can’t talk freely in the tent.
We’ve been careless lately, growing too comfortable to remember we should only be talking in our heads, and I know it hasn’t gone unnoticed.
Fortunately, most of what we’ve said is during sex, and no one has too many questions about why that would be.
We can’t have a conversation about our plans and the queen though—that will have to wait at least until tomorrow.
I step into the tent and see Aurelia sitting on the bed, her hair comb in hand as she brushes her squirrel.
The little beast has burrs tangled in his tail.
She catches my eye and rolls hers, tilting her head pointedly toward the squirrel.
I can practically hear her thoughts: Do you see what I’ve been dealing with while you were gone?
I fight the insane urge to cross the tent and kiss her.
I need to get a fucking grip.
Instead, I stride in and start stripping off my armor. Underneath, I’m drenched in sweat and dirt. I need a bath, and I’m about to ask Aurelia if she wants to go with me, when she stands up from the bed and walks over to the paper we’ve been using to pass notes since we arrived.
She bends over, and I get a nice glimpse of her ass as she scribbles out a note and holds it up for me to read. I’m barely paying attention, only thinking about the hot springs and, more specifically, about her ass, so it takes me a second to process what she’s written.
What’s knotting?
I stare at the words, feeling a contradictory rush of heat and ice through my body—arousal tightening in my groin while something cold and leaden settles in my gut. I snatch the pen out of Aurelia’s hand, scribbling my reply so fast that the ink smears.
Who the fuck talked to you about knotting?
Liv and Inga.
I have no idea who Liv is, but Inga is Kai’s woman. They have seven damn children, I’ll just bet she had a lot to fucking say about knotting.
What did they say?
It’s dark so it’s hard to tell, but I think I see her cheeks flush.
Nothing really, they just mentioned it. What is it?
I run a hand through my hair, letting out a breath.
I still feel hot and sweaty, although now I’m not entirely sure that’s only from the armor.
I’ve been forcing myself not to think about knotting Aurelia ever since the insane idea occurred to me the other day, but now I can’t think about anything else. That can’t be a good sign.
Aurelia waves her hand in front of my face to get my attention and taps the paper impatiently waiting for my answer.
I take the pen back and write.
I can’t explain it like this.
Aurelia wrinkles her nose with annoyance and tries to grab the pen back from me, but I won’t give it back to her.
Instead, I write:
Come take a bath with me.
Her expression immediately clears and she nods eagerly even as I bite back a groan. I can’t decide whether I’m excited or terrified about this. Maybe both.
It’s dark as Aurelia and I walk through the woods. I wish I’d brought a lantern, but I wasn’t thinking that clearly when we left the tent. At least I remembered to bring the soap and towels.
I’m trying to think about how to explain knotting to Aurelia, while being far too self-aware of the fact that the only reason I would have to explain it to her would be if we were going to do it. I’m rapidly reaching a point of no return here, but I’m not sure how to turn things around.
I watch Aurelia counting her steps under her breath, her lips moving silently as we walk.
The moment we cross what must be her mental boundary line for how far she needs to be from camp before she can talk, she turns to me with bright eyes and speaks at full volume, as if we’d been mid-conversation. “So, what does it mean?”
I resist the urge to groan. “What did Inga say?”
“She didn’t really say anything. She and Liv were just asking about, er, well see both she and Liv are pregnant and…”
I hold up a hand to stop her. “I got it.”
We step into the clearing and see steam rising from the hot springs, the water’s surface glassy and undisturbed in the moonlight.
No one else is here. Part of me relaxes—privacy is good—but another part tenses.
Without other shifters around, I have no reason to delay answering Aurelia’s questions about knotting.
I rub the back of my neck, avoiding her gaze. “It’s...when shifters mate.” My voice drops lower. “The base of my cock would...swell. Lock us together.”
Aurelia blinks at me in the darkness. “Why?”
“Because then I…we…well, I wouldn’t be able to pull out for a while after.” My hands gesture vaguely in the space between us. “It’s to ensure...conception.” The last word comes out rough, almost a growl, and heat climbs up my neck despite the cool night air.
There’s another long pause while she seems to think about it.
“Huh, interesting,” she says in a bland tone, as if commenting on a footnote in one of her spell books.
“Interesting?” I echo, feeling almost offended by her casual reaction to something so intimate.
“Yeah. Can you show me?”
I choke. “Can I show you?”
“Sure. If you don’t mind, of course.” She turns and practically skips off toward the spring, leaving me standing there with my mouth half-open.
“I really don’t know why you’re being so shy about all this,” she calls over her shoulder. “I think it’s interesting that you can all shift partially. Actually, is that why you’re better soldiers? Is there something…I don’t know…biological that makes you stronger?”
I have no fucking idea what to say, but Aurelia doesn’t seem to care.
She keeps mumbling to herself as she strips her clothes off, as if all of this is just an academic curiosity to her.
She drops her clothes on the bank before wading into the water, then turns around to give me a pointed look. “What are you waiting for?”
I shake my head in exasperation, and trudge after Aurelia with a resigned sigh. There’s no point in fighting it.
I can’t resist this chaotic, deeply weird little woman; and worse, I don’t think I want to. I think I might be obsessed with her.
I drop my clothes on top of Aurelia’s and wade into the water. It’s dark, so I can’t see much, but I feel the heat of her eyes.
She swims over, water rippling around her shoulders, and doesn’t bother to warn me as her fingers find my cock beneath the surface and squeezes. My vision blurs and I let out a hiss.
“I don’t feel anything unusual,” she says, her fingers exploring.
“‘Course not,” I grit out. I can’t focus while she’s stroking me like this. “I’m not going to do it if we’re not actually knotting.”
“Why?”
“Because,” I manage to say, but can’t finish the sentence.
Aurelia looks at me with those wide eyes, and pulls her hands back. It’s marginally easier to focus when she’s not touching me, but not that much when she’s still standing there wet and naked.
“Because,” I try again, “I don’t even know if I can if I’m not inside you.”
She blinks slowly. “Okay then. Do it.”
I splutter, nearly choking on my own saliva. “You want to get pregnant?”
She cocks her head, considering the question as if I’d asked her preference on dinner. I’d meant it sarcastically, but now I find myself holding my breath, heart hammering against my ribs.
“No,” she says after what feels like an eternity. “Not really. Not right now anyway.”
I let out the breath I’d been holding. This is fucking insane.
What was I thinking? We have no future together, let alone one with children.
Yet watching her eyes widen with curiosity about something so primal, it stirs something dangerous in me. The very impossibility of it all only makes the wanting sharper.
“You might not like it,” I grunt.
“Oh, is it uncomfortable?”
Truthfully I don’t know. Obviously I didn’t want children before Dyaspora so it’s not something I’ve ever done, but I don’t think it’s supposed to be unpleasant. Aurelia is so small though, I already have to make sure she comes first so I’ll even fit inside her—not that I wouldn’t anyway.
Ignoring her question, I turn her around and pull her back against me. I really want to end this fucking conversation, almost as much as I want to do something about the painful erection she just gave me with all her “curiosity.”
My palm glides over her hip, and she arches her back, pressing into me. Aurelia whines, and tilts her head, exposing her neck in silent invitation for my mouth to find that tender spot where her heartbeat thrums beneath the skin.
My hand continues exploring the curve of her ass, fingers drifting along the seam where her cheeks meet. Something primal stirs within me. Beneath the water’s surface, I trace lower, my fingertip finding and teasing around that forbidden entrance.
She lets out a soft moan “What are you doing?” she asks, her voice a mix of curiosity and arousal.
I already think I know the answer, but I ask anyway, my voice rough with desire. “Have you ever been fucked here?”
She shakes her head and her entire body tenses, then relaxes against my hand. A surge of possessiveness washes over me. Now I really want to do it, I want to own all parts of her.
“Do you want to?” I ask.
“I don’t know.”
“If you don’t like this, you won’t like knotting.”
“Oh, well in that case…” she says, light humor in her voice.
I press against that tight ring of muscle until it yields, just enough for my fingertip to breach the entrance.
Her sharp intake of breath catches in her throat as I reach around with my other hand, finding her clit.
My fingers stroke over her and her body jerks.
A sound escapes her—half-gasp, half-moan—as she relaxes back against my chest.
“Do you like that, little witch,” I breathe, fingers still tracing circles over her swollen bud.
She nods, letting out a breathless whimper.
“Do you want more?”
She gasps. “Always.”