Chapter 16
Chapter Sixteen
“See that he is properly cared for,” Gabriel said, pressing a coin into the boy’s hand.
He swung down from his horse and handed the reins to a stable boy waiting outside the tavern. He arrived shortly after midday, grateful for the excuse to be away from the estate.
“Yes, Your Grace,” the lad replied eagerly.
Gabriel turned towards the tavern door before anyone else could stop him from attending to estate business.
The village street bustled with activity as farmers, merchants, and laborers moved between shops carrying baskets and parcels.
The warmth of the tavern greeted him as soon as he walked through the door.
Thick wooden beams crossed the ceiling above rough plaster walls stained by decades of smoke from the hearth.
The scent of roasting meat, ale, and wood smoke hung heavily in the air, mingling with the murmur of conversations from local farmers crowded around scarred oak tables.
Several patrons glanced up as Gabriel entered, tipping their hats respectfully before returning to their meals. In one corner, a fiddler played quietly while a pair of elderly men argued over cards. The entire place felt wonderfully ordinary.
“Well, there you are.”
Gabriel turned at the familiar voice and found John Hunt seated at a table near the fireplace. The physician lifted his tankard in greeting, amusement already dancing in his eyes.
Gabriel crossed the room and settled into the chair opposite him. “You look disappointed to see me,” Gabriel observed dryly.
John grinned. “Not disappointed. Merely curious. Why did you wish to meet at the tavern?”
Before Gabriel could answer, a plump serving wench hurried over, wiping her hands on her apron.
“Your Grace,” she said with a curtsy, “what will it be?”
Gabriel glanced towards John. “Stew, bread, cheese, and ale.”
John nodded. “The same for me. If we’re dining with a duke, we may as well do it properly.”
The woman laughed and hurried away to place their order.
John folded his arms across his chest and leaned back in his chair. “Now answer the question.”
“I merely needed to get away from the house for a while.”
John’s eyebrows climbed. “From your own house?”
Gabriel shrugged. “Stranger things have happened.”
John continued studying him in a way Gabriel found deeply irritating.
Unfortunately, the physician knew him too well.
I have no intention of admitting that the true reason involves a governess with a dangerous smile and entirely too much courage.
The mere thought of Amelia standing between him and a charging bull would not have surprised him in the slightest. Worse still, the image of her occupied his thoughts far more often than was appropriate. A man of his standing should not be contemplating kissing his governess.
“You are avoiding something,” John said knowingly.
“I should have been avoiding you.”
“No, that is merely a pleasant joke,” John said with an arched brow.
Gabriel sighed heavily while John looked entirely pleased with himself. There were moments when Gabriel questioned why they had remained friends.
“I’ve been cooped up too long, and that is all. I needed a good ride, some fresh air, and to see to some accounts,” Gabriel said finally. “Besides, I’ve invited you to dine here with me because I’ve come to extend an invitation.”
That captured John’s attention. “An invitation?”
“A ball.”
John blinked. “A ball?”
“Must you repeat everything I say?” Gabriel groaned.
John laughed loudly enough to attract several curious glances from nearby tables. “You are hosting a ball? Have you suffered a head injury? That is not like you at all.”
Gabriel resisted the urge to throw a drink at him. “It is for Valerie. Her debut is approaching. I thought it might benefit her to spend time among country society before London.”
John nodded thoughtfully. “A sensible idea. Better to practice among neighbors before being thrown into the lion’s den.”
The food arrived moments later: steaming bowls of thick stew accompanied by fresh bread, wedges of cheese, and ale.
Both men turned their attention to the meal. Gabriel realized he was hungrier than expected and ate several spoonfuls before speaking again.
Around them, the tavern continued buzzing with conversation and laughter.
Gabriel delighted in overhearing the chatter as people discussed tenant concerns, crop yields, repairs to cottages, and several village disputes.
It was all wonderfully straightforward compared to the chaos currently unfolding in his household.
I could listen to this all day instead of the bold words of a certain woman with golden hair.
Eventually, John set down his spoon and fixed Gabriel with a suspicious look. “I find myself wondering something.”
Gabriel immediately regretted coming.
“What?” he asked flatly, setting down his spoon with more force than necessary.
John smiled over the rim of his tankard, looking entirely too pleased with himself.
“I wonder whether a certain governess is the true reason you wished to escape home,” he said, leaning back in his chair and folding his arms.
Gabriel closed his eyes briefly and pinched the bridge of his nose.
I should not have come and sent a written invitation instead.
“There it is,” John said triumphantly, pointing at him as though he had just solved a complicated medical mystery.
“There is nothing,” Gabriel replied, opening his eyes and reaching for his ale.
“There is absolutely something,” John countered, wagging a finger at him while struggling not to laugh.
Gabriel returned to his meal with deliberate concentration. Unfortunately, John remained undeterred.
“You’ve changed,” the physician continued. “The entire household has changed.”
Gabriel refused to respond.
“Miss Amelia has certainly caused a stir,” John said.
Still, Gabriel remained silent.
“And yet you haven’t dismissed her as I would have expected you would,” John said.
“John… do not,” Gabriel started.
“Do not what? Point out the obvious?” John continued.
Gabriel glared at him. John appeared delighted by the glare. Some people valued their lives far too little.
“Miss Amelia is a lady,” John continued. “There would be no shame in considering her as more than a governess. In fact, as your physician, I recommend it. She has brought a light to you I have not seen before.”
Gabriel’s expression hardened. “Do not do this,” Gabriel said sharply, setting his tankard down with a firm thud.
John lifted both hands in surrender, though the grin tugging at his mouth ruined the effect entirely. “I am merely observing,” he replied, leaning back comfortably in his chair.
“You are meddling,” Gabriel said, narrowing his eyes at him.
“I am helping,” John countered, reaching for a piece of bread and tearing it in half.
“You are absolutely meddling,” Gabriel said flatly, folding his arms across his chest.
John merely shook his head and laughed into his ale before taking a long drink.
The conversation might have ended there had Gabriel not felt a familiar heaviness settling in his chest. He stared down at the remains of his meal for several moments before speaking quietly.
“I will never marry. You know this already, so it grieves me that you imply such things,” he said.
For once, John did not joke. “Why?”
Gabriel’s voice remained steady as he continued. “My father destroyed every life he touched. My mother’s most of all.” He tightened his grip around the tankard. “I spent my childhood watching a man who should have protected his family become their greatest danger.”
John listened silently.
“I carry his blood. Every day, I wonder whether the same darkness exists in me, waiting to take hold.”
“It doesn’t,” John said firmly.
“You cannot know that; no one can,” Gabriel said.
Gabriel looked towards the tavern window, seeing memories instead of glass. His father’s temper. His cruelty. His selfishness. The damage left behind.
“If I ever lost control,” Gabriel said quietly, “if I ever became even half the man he was, I could ruin someone’s life.” His jaw tightened. “I will not risk that. Not with a wife. Not with children.”
John leaned forward, resting his forearms on the table as his expression turned serious.
“Gabriel,” he said quietly, tapping a finger against the wood to gain his attention.
“No.” Gabriel shook his head at once and reached for his tankard.
“Listen to me.” John pointed the handle of his spoon towards him for emphasis.
“I have listened to this speech before,” Gabriel replied, setting the tankard down with a dull thud.
“Then listen again.” John held his gaze steadily, refusing to back down.
Gabriel shook his head. “The children are my responsibility. Their safety comes first.” He looked back towards his friend. “If they think I am a tyrant, then perhaps I am doing my job properly, but I must remember that I have it in me to be a tyrant in more ways than just words.”
John sighed. “That may be the most ridiculous thing you’ve said all year.”
Gabriel shrugged. “Perhaps, but they are words to live by.”
The afternoon passed quickly after that.
Eventually, the two men parted ways outside the tavern, and Gabriel mounted his horse for the journey home.
The road stretched before him. As his horse carried him towards the estate, his thoughts returned once more to Amelia.
She had brought laughter back to David. She had coaxed smiles from Valerie.
Somehow, she had even convinced Gabriel to dance.
Most alarming of all, she has changed me. Not dramatically. Not completely. But enough that John noticed.
Enough that he could no longer pretend otherwise.
He still distrusted easily. He still believed rules were necessary.
He still carried fears he could not entirely escape.
Yet somewhere between custard, kittens, and impossible conversations, Amelia Shirley had begun altering the atmosphere of the house.
And, whether he liked it or not…
She has altered me as well.