Chapter 16 #2
The afternoon sun cast long golden shadows across the gardens of Anderton Manor as Amelia wandered along one of the winding gravel paths.
Roses climbed stone walls in bursts of color while carefully trimmed hedges framed beds overflowing with summer blooms. The air smelled faintly of lavender, and for once, her thoughts felt pleasantly quiet.
She had begun to think of the gardens as a refuge whenever the house became overwhelming.
Unfortunately, her peace lasted only until she heard a burst of laughter drifting from somewhere ahead.
Curious, she followed the sound around a hedge and discovered Valerie seated on a stone bench beside Trixie.
The two girls immediately looked up as Amelia approached. Valerie had a rare smile on her face while Trixie appeared to be in the middle of sharing some particularly entertaining story.
“Join us,” Valerie urged, gesturing for Amelia to sit with them.
Amelia settled onto the bench beside them.
For several moments, they chatted comfortably about nothing important at all.
Amelia found herself increasingly grateful that Valerie no longer regarded her as an enemy.
The young lady still possessed enough stubbornness to challenge a regiment of soldiers, but beneath it, Amelia had discovered kindness, intelligence, and surprising vulnerability.
Valerie tucked a loose curl behind her ear before suddenly fixing Amelia with a curious look. “May I ask you something?” she said.
Amelia immediately became suspicious. “That depends entirely upon the question.”
Valerie’s smile widened slightly. “Why are you truly not married yet?”
Amelia groaned. Trixie burst into laughter at that response.
“Straight to the execution,” Amelia said, placing a hand dramatically over her heart. “Not even a warning first?”
Valerie looked entirely unapologetic. “You have been engaged approximately a hundred times.”
“Three,” Amelia corrected. “That is not nearly enough to qualify as approximately a hundred.”
Valerie waved a dismissive hand. “It feels like a hundred.”
Trixie clasped her hands together dreamily. “I cannot wait to be married,” she declared with complete sincerity.
Amelia and Valerie exchanged amused looks.
“I want love,” Trixie continued. “A good husband. A cottage. A garden. Perhaps six children.”
“Six?” Amelia repeated.
Trixie nodded enthusiastically. Valerie looked horrified.
“That sounds exhausting,” Valerie said.
Trixie laughed. “It sounds wonderful.”
Amelia smiled despite herself. There was something refreshing about Trixie’s certainty.
The maid spoke about marriage as though it were a grand adventure rather than a complicated negotiation between families and fortunes.
For a moment, Amelia envied that innocence.
She had once imagined something similar for herself before reality had intervened.
Unfortunately, reality had been exceptionally persistent.
“That is exactly what I wanted,” Amelia admitted quietly.
Both girls looked at her.
“Love?” Valerie asked.
Amelia nodded. “Love and a husband of my own choosing.”
She folded her hands together in her lap and stared towards the roses. “Instead, every decision seemed to belong to someone else. Every conversation became another arrangement. Another plan. Another gentleman selected because he suited my family rather than myself.”
Trixie’s expression softened. Valerie remained silent, listening carefully. Amelia found herself speaking more honestly than she intended—perhaps because neither girl seemed interested in judging her.
“I have never been in love,” Amelia confessed.
Trixie sighed dramatically, pressing a hand to her chest as though she had just heard the saddest tale imaginable.
“That is tragic,” she declared.
Amelia rolled her eyes and shook her head.
“It is not tragic,” she replied.
Trixie pointed at her accusingly. “It sounds tragic.”
Amelia laughed despite herself and brushed an escaped curl behind her ear. “Very well,” she conceded with a smile. “Slightly tragic.”
Valerie tilted her head thoughtfully and rested her elbow on the back of the bench.
“If you want love so much,” she asked quietly, “what are you afraid of?”
The question caught Amelia off guard. Her smile faded slightly as she looked down at her hands folded in her lap.
For a moment, she considered giving a simple answer.
Something polite and forgettable. Yet the longer she sat there, the more she realized she was tired of pretending.
Tired of shaping herself into whatever version other people preferred.
Valerie and Trixie waited patiently while she gathered her thoughts. Finally, she exhaled slowly.
“I am afraid of disappearing,” she said.
Both girls frowned. Amelia smiled faintly.
“I want to be seen as capable,” she explained. “Not handled. Not arranged. Not managed like a household account.”
She shook her head. “I want to make my own choices. I want someone to choose me because they genuinely wish to, not because our families decided it was convenient.”
Trixie nodded slowly while Valerie watched her intently.
“And I do not wish to lose myself to a husband who believes his opinion is the only one that matters as he locks me away to do his bidding and have no freedoms of my own.”
Valerie looked away for a moment, her gaze drifting towards the flowerbeds as though the answer might be hidden among the roses.
Then she said quietly, lowering her voice, “I want that too.”
The admission surprised Amelia. Valerie rarely revealed her fears so openly.
“I think,” Valerie continued, twisting her fingers together in her lap and avoiding Amelia’s eyes, “that every girl worries about becoming trapped.”
Amelia nodded gently and brushed a stray curl behind her ear. “Perhaps.”
Trixie brightened, sitting up straighter on the bench.
“My future husband shall be perfect,” she declared, clasping her hands dramatically beneath her chin.
Valerie laughed and shook her head. “Then you had better start praying now,” she said dryly, lifting an eyebrow.
Trixie gasped in mock offense while Amelia covered a smile with her hand. The three of them dissolved into laughter.
Yet even as Amelia smiled, she found herself reflecting upon her own words.
They were truer than she cared to admit.
For most of her life, she had survived by pleasing others.
She had learned to be agreeable. Polite.
Accommodating. Every decision had been filtered through someone else’s expectations.
Running away had been reckless and foolish, but for the first time in her life, she had acted entirely for herself.
“I think,” Amelia said thoughtfully, “that I became very skilled at ignoring what I wanted.”
Valerie glanced towards her. “And now?”
Amelia smiled. “Now I am rather desperate for independence after having a taste of it here.”
Amelia excused herself. Valerie and Trixie remained in the garden while she followed one of the paths leading towards the open meadows beyond the house.
The late afternoon sun painted everything in warm gold, and a gentle breeze stirred the grass around her. She walked slowly, enjoying the quiet. Her mind lingered on everything she had shared. It felt strange to speak honestly after spending so many years carefully guarding her thoughts.
Then she heard the distant thunder of hooves. Amelia looked up, and her breath caught. Gabriel was riding across the meadow.
His powerful black stallion moved effortlessly beneath him, racing through the tall grass with elegant strength.
The setting sun illuminated him in gold and bronze, catching the broad lines of his shoulders and the dark wind-tossed hair that refused to remain perfectly neat.
He sat his horse with complete confidence, as though horse and rider belonged together.
The sight was unexpectedly breathtaking.
Amelia had seen handsome men before, but somehow, Gabriel seemed carved from the landscape itself.
The horse surged forward. Gabriel leaned slightly into the movement. Amelia felt an entirely inappropriate flutter low in her stomach. This was becoming a problem.
A very serious problem.
Because she was no longer merely noticing that Gabriel was attractive.
She was noticing everything. The way he moved.
The way he looked at people when he thought they were not paying attention.
The rare smiles that transformed his face completely.
Even his ridiculous habit of pretending not to care while secretly caring far too much.
“Oh dear,” Amelia murmured.
The horse carried him closer. For one alarming moment, she thought he might have seen her. The possibility sent a rush of heat straight to her cheeks.
Amelia turned around. That seemed like the safest possible solution. If she could not see Gabriel, perhaps her heart would stop behaving absurdly. She gathered her skirts and headed briskly back towards the house. The entire walk, she resisted the urge to glance over her shoulder.
By the time she reached the manor doors, she was thoroughly annoyed with herself. Because the truth was becoming impossible to ignore.
She had come to Anderton Manor determined to build an independent future.
Finding a stubborn duke with trust issues to be the most attractive man I have ever known definitely was not part of the plan.