Chapter 16
Chapter
Sixteen
Weeks had come and gone since Sebastian started training me privately. Fall was in full force now, and the colors of nature darkened with each passing day, preparing for the gloominess of winter to arrive in a few short weeks.
We had been steady with our wielding practice, and though exhausting, it was going well. I had solidified my skills on the basics of my power, but was yet to try more challenging commands. Sebastian kept pushing me to, but wielding took so much out of me that I didn't know if I could handle it.
Thankfully we said our goodbyes outside last night after our session, as I threw up the moment I got back to my room.
The overexertion was beginning to affect my whole body, and no one knew about it besides myself.
The whole thing perplexed me. None of the other students seemed to get nearly as depleted when they used their magic.
I had gotten fairly good at using my mental shields as well.
Most times I could keep my eyes open, not needing to concentrate nearly as hard as I did when I first began shielding.
I learned the hard way however, that losing my focus could be detrimental.
One evening Sebastian was summoning icicles for me to block, but I had gotten distracted and one pierced between my shoulder blades.
He felt horrible, but the ice shard only drew a little blood, which Pia was able to heal with hardly any effort when I got back to my room.
Sebastian had agreed to start doing our combat training in the morning and wielding at night.
This schedule definitely helped me retain my energy, but with classes in the mix, I still felt my body get weaker with each passing day.
I had shown some improvement though, having successfully blocked Sebastian from stabbing me with a training sword twice in a row.
He was dumbfounded when the weapon fell from his clutch, and the look on his face was one I wouldn't soon forget.
My week of classes had come to an end and I was looking forward to having some down time the next few days. Although I'd still have my nightly sessions with Sebastian, the days would be free to spend as I pleased—aside from a certain soldier accompanying me everywhere.
He was waiting for me this morning in his usual spot on the staircase. My heart fluttered when I saw him reading a book—like always.
I found it incredibly charming that one of Caelestis’ most talented soldiers had such a knack for reading. He could take an enemy down with a singular swing of his sword, but spent his downtime doing one of the most virtuous hobbies.
I smirked and made my descent down the stairs. “Whatcha reading?”
Sebastian slammed the book shut and tilted his head up. His eyes followed me down the spiral of the stairs. I sat down on the step next to him and though he tried to fight me, I tore the book from his hands.
My lips trembled to fight back a smile. “I didn't peg you for a romance reader.”
He shrugged as he took the book back, tucking it into his rucksack. “What can I say, I'm a hopeless romantic.”
“Yeah right,” I laughed with a roll of my eyes.
Sebastian smirked sheepishly and rose from his spot on the steps. “Breakfast?” he asked.
“What about combat training?”
“I’m giving you the day off.”
“Why?”
“I have something to do this morning,” he said, and I trailed behind him as we commenced our daily hike across the castle grounds.
Exhaling deeply, my heated breath turned to mist from the chill of the air.
I had my winter cloak on, which provided me a thick layer of protection, but it didn't block the frigid wind from blowing my hair in every direction.
I regretted not braiding it today as some strands got stuck in my eyelashes.
Sebastian noticed me quivering and sped up so that he could walk in front, blocking the wind from hitting me. It turned out he was hot and chivalrous.
“So do you read anything besides obscene literature or is that what really gets you going?” I broke the silence of our travels.
Sebastian stopped in place, pivoting to look at me. He bit his lip, smiling at me bashfully. “It's not obscene. It's a work of art that you are clearly too young and immature to appreciate.”
“I’m not that young.”
“You're only twenty-one.”
“You're only four years older.”
“Yes, and it shows in my ability to read mature literature.”
I raised an eyebrow. “You're really showing your age, soldier.”
Sebastian's eyes rolled up and with a shake of his head, he turned and started walking again. I trudged along behind him, appreciating how his large frame kept the wind from knocking me on my ass. I also appreciated the view of him from behind.
“What do you have planned for today?” I tried to make conversation to avoid dwelling on my skin that would soon be blue and frozen.
“I have a consultation with the other head soldiers and my father.” Sebastian looked over at me. “Then the rest of my day depends on yours, I suppose.”
“Oh.” Guilt overwhelmed me. As annoying as it could be to have someone knowing my every move, it was arguably worse to be in his position. I liked Sebastian and didn't mind his presence, but I wasn't sure he felt the same about me.
“What is your meeting about?”
We took a corner on the cobblestone path, putting the wind behind us and allowing my hair to settle. Sebastian slowed his walk so that he was by my side.
“That's nothing for you to worry about.”
My eyebrows lowered. “I wasn't worried. But should I be?”
He let out a chuckle. “I just said that you don't need to be.”
“Well, it seems like there's always something for me to worry about nowadays.”
Everything went silent aside from the crashing of waves below the cliffside. I had been trying not to think about what the duke had said about the traitor, but a pit formed in my stomach when I realized that I hadn't heard anything about the situation in weeks.
“Do you know what it's like to constantly have a target on your back?” I asked out of nowhere.
Sebastian sighed. “I do.”
That was a stupid question. Of course he did. He was his father’s target.
“And I wish I could take that feeling away from you,” he said under his breath.
Me too.
“Have you heard any more about the traitor? Have they discovered who it is?” I asked the question that was really on my mind.
Sebastian audibly gulped, causing suspicion within me.
“Is that what your meeting is about?”
He glanced over at me. “Remember thirty seconds ago when I told you not to worry?”
“Oh gods.” Panic overtook my body.
He halted his movements and took hold of my shoulders, lowering his head so that his eyes were in line with mine. “My job is to protect you, and I swear to you that I am going to do that. You don't need to worry.” His eyes widened. “Do you understand?”
I bobbed my head in response.
“Good. Now, I'm not supposed to be telling you this, but I know if I don't that you'll spend the rest of your day agonizing over it.”
He was right.
“Duke Sinclair sent word that they uncovered the name of the traitor. They are in the process of trying to locate the individual now.”
I relaxed a bit, but not enough for him to release his hands from me. “Okay, so this is good news?”
His face told me that there was more before he even opened his mouth to speak. His lips sealed into a tight line, like he was trying to stop himself from telling me the rest of it.
“Tell me,” I demanded.
“There's been no mention of your name by any Draemornians that we’ve encountered, which is good. That means it's likely that word of your gift hasn't spread any further and that King Beaumont still doesn't know who you are,” he reassured me.
I let out a sigh of relief. That was also good news, but Sebastian's face still looked all too serious.
“What is it?”
He stared at me blankly and I stared back, not releasing him from my gaze until he blew out a breath and responded. “Beaumont has sent a letter to my father with a proposal.”
“Okay?”
“He wants Caelestis to turn you over to Draemor, and in return promises to remove their threat of declaring another war.”
“What?” I blurted out. My knees threatened to collapse beneath me as my entire body weakened with fear. I couldn't go to Draemor. I’d heard horror stories that I certainly didn’t want to experience on my own.
Sebastian lifted a finger to his lips, his eyes scurrying back and forth. “Shh.”
“I’m being used as a bargaining tactic?” Though I already had no control over my life, something told me that it would be so much worse if King Beaumont had me under his reign. I promised myself that I wouldn't lose my composure in front of Sebastian again, but I couldn't help but panic.
“Shit.”
I heard Sebastian curse. Clearly realizing that I was about to lose it, he grabbed my hand and practically dragged me along the rest of the pathway and to the side of one of the towers. I sank down against the stone, holding my knees to my chest and tucking my head between them.
If King Hawthorne handed me over, I'd never see Delani or my mother again. They would have no idea what happened to me. He would probably just tell them I was dead—that I had an accident in wielding class.
My eyes began to burn. I tried everything in me to keep my cheeks dry, but the tears spilled over them.
The problem was that King Hawthorne should give me up. It was the smartest thing to do for the kingdom. Sacrificing me would grant all other Caelestians safety.
“Maeve? Talk to me.”
I tried with everything inside of me to hold myself together, but my body shuddered when the power of my fear became too strong.
“Fuck,” I swore, frustrated with myself for being unable to control this feeling.
I had been doing well, using writing to help me cope throughout this whole transition.
I’d been able to stop the torment of panic before it consumed me.
I’d been able to work through moments like this and come out stronger on the other end.
I had been pretty damn resilient—until now.