Chapter 16 #2
I didn't lift my head to look at Sebastian as he slumped to the ground next to me. He put one of his arms over my shoulders, pulling me close to him. “I told you that you don't need to worry, and I meant it.”
The gesture was comforting, and pretty unexpected from a man who seemingly never showed this type of emotion. The strength of his biceps holding me sent chills throughout my core, and although I would have much rather focused on the feel of his body against mine, I couldn't right now.
Just a few months ago—hell, even a few weeks ago—I would have slapped his hands away if he laid a finger on me.
We’d been so on and off that I was almost surprised at myself for accepting the contact now.
I wondered what he truly thought of me—the girl who had given him so much trouble since she crashed into his life.
The girl who was cowering against his father’s castle.
“What are you thinking?” he spoke softly.
I heard his words, but was still as motionless as the statue of Blythe in the courtyard.
“Look at me.”
I didn't want to. Didn't want the man I’d developed feelings for to see me like this.
Mortified, I shook my head between my knees. “Leave,” I whispered, doubting he ever lost control of himself in this way. He must have thought that I was a pitiful excuse of Caelestis’ greatest asset. And he would be right in thinking that—I was pathetic.
“Please look at me,” he pleaded.
I didn't.
“Please leave,” I begged.
He didn't.
I shuddered when a drop of rain fell on my head.
Or maybe it was snow. It was still fall, but with the temperatures lately it wouldn't have surprised me.
Whatever it was tumbled from the sky, dampening my hair and cloak.
I tried to ignore it, but my body began to shiver uncontrollably.
Shouldn't the tower have prevented the weather from hitting me?
I looked up from the comfort of darkness to see the snow Sebastian created as it fell over us. With my emergence from my knees, the snow vanished.
I turned my eyes to him, despite the puffiness of them. “That was mean,” I said in a hush.
He grinned apologetically, then rotated his torso so that he faced me more directly. His arm slid off of my shoulders, drifting beneath my cloak and landing on my forearm. “Breathe,” he said, taking a deep breath of his own in an example.
I sucked in a shuddered inhale.
“What are you thinking?” He stared at me, trying to decipher my thoughts from the look on my face.
I ran a hand over my face, removing the dampness from my cheeks and wiping my swollen skin. “The king would be wise to follow through with Draemor’s proposal.”
“My father is not a wise man,” Sebastian tried to joke, but I wasn't in the mood.
I met his eyes with my own, finally accepting the ease he offered me.
I absorbed the qualities of his face, soaking in every detail of his skin, my own body calming in response.
Maybe it was the adrenaline, but I so badly wanted to be rash and put my lips on his.
By the way he was looking at me, I wondered if he wanted the same thing.
He squeezed my arm gently. “I’m not going to let anything happen to you. You have my word.”
I nodded, and he took his hand off of me, leaving an unsuspected emptiness where it had laid.
Why was he the catalyst that caused a full body reaction inside of me? I didn't think I'd ever understand it, so I brushed the feeling off, reminding myself why we would never work.
Something told me that I'd be reminding myself of that until the day I died.
Once I collected myself, Sebastian and I grabbed a quick bite to eat from the kitchen before parting ways. I would be accompanying Pia to the archives, and he would meet us there when he finished his meeting.
Picking at my muffin, Pia and I wandered through the corridors of the castle. I didn't have much to say after the news I’d received this morning, and she noticed. “You okay?” she asked.
“Mhm,” I muttered through a mouthful of my pastry. I wasn't too hungry, either, but knew that I’d regret not eating tonight at wielding practice.
“You're awfully quiet this morning.”
“I'm just really tired from all of the extra training.” I hated lying to her, but I promised Sebastian that I wouldn't tell anyone what he told me until the king made it known to the rest of the kingdom.
“Yeah. Okay,” she scoffed, but dropped the subject.
We arrived amongst a set of towering golden doors. Pia pulled one towards her, and I entered the archives for surprisingly the first time since I arrived at the castle. My mouth fell slack as I took in the thousands of books before me.
The room was cylindrical, manuscripts lining essentially every inch of the walls.
Any space that didn't have a bookshelf was filled with glass panes that overlooked Caelestis.
In the center, past the oversized wooden desk, was a staircase that led up to four more floors, each one just as open as the first. There was absolutely no privacy in the room.
“This place must give Sebastian wet dreams,” I quipped. I’d never met someone who admired books as much as he did.
“Ew.” Pia grimaced, then laughed. “But yeah, you’re probably right.”
We climbed all the way to the fourth floor. I threw my bag down in an armchair then explored the archives for a while, roaming aimlessly through the floors and studying the curved walls of books that seemed to have no end.
Back on the fourth floor, I came across a small section with manuscripts about the gods and goddesses.
A row of narrow-binded books caught my eye.
There were eight of them in total, each a different color.
Sliding the green book off the shelf, I read the title, The History of the Goddess of Nature.
I flipped through a few pages, then pushed the book about Sloane back into its slot.
I ran my finger along the other bindings, stopping at a pale blue book and plucking it from the shelf before returning to Pia.
Aimlessly flipping through the pages about Blythe, I tried to distract myself from thinking about Sebastian's meeting. Just like writing, reading helped to clear my mind of the worries that took up too much space.
Blythe was known as the strongest of the gods and goddesses. She was granted this title from her ability to compel the brain matter of all things living. Blythe’s power is the most advanced of all the gods, and thus her gift of a constellastone is unheard of in a mortal.
They’d have to update that.
I glanced up and at Pia, who was hunched over and smiling while she scribbled on a piece of parchment. She giggled to herself, then looked up at the sound of my book slamming shut.
“What in the gods’ names are you writing over there?” I asked, my tone accusatory.
“I'm writing to Kohen.”
“What's so funny about writing to Kohen?”
Pia passed me the parchment, her cheeks flushing as she did. My eyes widened at the incredibly provocative words she had written.
“Pia!” I whisper-yelled.
She giggled and held a finger to her mouth. “Shh.”
Dumbfounded, I passed her erotic love note back to her. “I didn't realize you and Kohen were that serious.”
“We aren't. Well, not really.” She raised an eyebrow. “I actually don't really know what we are. But I do know he's good in bed.”
I smirked and shook my head. I wished for the nerve that Pia had, then maybe I could make something of my feelings for Sebastian.
I returned to my book, only to be interrupted seconds later by a very distraught Sebastian who just so happened to look over Pia’s shoulder at her letter.
“Oh my gods, Pia, what the actual f—”
“SHH!” Pia raised her finger to her mouth once more, her face turning the brightest shade of red that I'd ever seen.
“You and Kohen? Since when? He didn't tell me,” Sebastian stuttered, his eyes practically bulging out of his head.
Pia shoved the letter into her bag, crumbling it so much that Kohen wouldn't be able to read it, anyways. “Oh, please. Like you didn't see me go into his room a few weeks ago.”
“I thought that had something to do with classes!”
“Relax, Seb.” Pia rolled her eyes. “It's nothing serious, at least I don’t think it is.” She shrugged the situation off and her face returned to its normal hue.
Sebastian, however, looked awfully pale. “If that's what you write to someone you aren't serious with, then the gods help me if I ever see what you write to someone that you are.”
The disgusted look on his face was enough to make me burst out in laughter.
He murmured something while turning his attention to me. His face settled into an expression that told me he needed to talk to me. My pulse raced as I rose from my chair.
“I'll be right back,” I told Pia, and she flashed me a confused look as Sebastian and I walked off.
He led me out of the archives all together, down the hallway and into an empty corridor.
He glanced around to make absolutely sure no one else was there before speaking to me.
“I know that you won't meet with my father again for a while, so I wanted to fill you in so that you don't spend your week worrying.”
My heart fluttered at his act of kindness, but I forced it to return to its normal sinus rhythm.
You and him will never work.
“My father has no intention of going through with King Beaumont's proposal. You're much too important to him.”
My shoulders relaxed as relief washed over me. “Oh thank gods.”
“I told you not to worry.” He smiled and my insides melted like the wax of a burning candle. “Also the duke has a lead on where the traitor is hiding, and he solidified the plan for when he's in custody.”
He didn't need to explain the plan to me—I knew what happened to traitors when they were caught.
“Do you know who it is?” I doubted that I would know the name, but was curious who ratted me out to Draemor.
“Yeah um…something Fletcher. Edward, I think.”
“Shut the fuck up,” I swore, my eyes popping out of my skull.
Sebastian took a step back, eyebrows drawn together. “Excuse me?”
“I grew up with him. He's from my village. That prick! Why would he do that?”
“You’d be surprised what people will do for wealth. For power. I don't know his motives. It doesn't matter, really. He will be taken care of.”
Killed. He would be killed.
Sebastian changed the subject. “There was also more discussion about moving your housing for safety purposes, but I convinced him to hold off on that for now.”
“Thank you.” I sighed in contempt, having grown to like my room and not wanting to leave it.
“One more thing.” He took a step closer to me, leaving only inches between us.
My breath lodged in my chest. He had to know exactly what he was doing to me.
“I really need you to be careful. I know you hate having to tell me where and when you are going somewhere, but I need you to take this extra seriously now. Please.” His face was the most serious I'd ever seen. He was worried.
“I will,” I assured him, and meant it.