Chapter 17
Chapter
Seventeen
“No more bullshit!” Sebastian yelled across the arena as he took his position on the mat. “Tonight, you're trying to use your power to its full ability.”
“Ugh,” I groaned. I saw that coming. He’d been trying to convince me to perform more difficult commands on him for a while now.
The past two weeks had been rough, to say the least. Though wielding had gotten easier with practice, I still struggled with the aftermath. I had been putting off using more complicated compulsions in fear that I'd show Sebastian how fragile I was, but tonight he would get his way.
“It's going to be fine,” he assured me.
“What if I can’t do it?”
“Only one way to find out.”
“What if I accidentally compel you to jump off a cliff and then we have the crab incident all over again?”
“We’re inside. And you're really hung up on that crab, aren't you?”
“Well yeah, I don't particularly enjoy taking innocent lives.”
“That's good. I’d be a bit concerned if you did.”
I crinkled my nose. “Well what if—”
He held a hand up to silence me. “Enough.” Realizing that he wasn't getting anywhere with this conversation, Sebastian came towards me.
“First of all, you didn't kill the crab.
You told it to jump and it did. It's not your fault that it had bad aim.” He took a step closer.
“Second of all, I have very effective mental shields.
They're always up, except for when I'm training with you.
If I don't want someone's magic affecting me, it won't.”
“Why do you keep them up all the time?” I knew he had to let his guard down while we trained, but he even kept his shields up with Sawyer and Kohen?
He ignored my question, moving his body to stand behind me. My blood rushed to my core, sending my mind into a frenzy. I gasped as he brushed my braid over my shoulder.
Then, time froze for a moment. All I could feel was the rise and fall of his chest against my body, and all I could think about was how badly I wished he’d spin me around and pull my lips to his.
I trembled so obviously at the thought that there was no way he didn't notice how my body shook from his touch.
“Third of all,” his words slipped into my ear, his breath tickling the back of my neck, “you're going to want this back.” With a flick of his wrist, he unclasped the star pendant from my neck then rushed back to his place on the mat.
Asshole.
He waved the silver chain in the air. “Whenever you're ready,” he taunted with a wink, knowing damn well what he just did to me. “And don't just tell me to give it back. Make it more complicated. No more simple commands.”
I rolled my eyes. What did not simple mean to him? Asking him to give the necklace back was too basic. Telling him to drop it on the ground was quick and easy.
I contemplated my options and when ready, allowed my powers to flow through my soul. My cheek prickled as magic pooled into my bloodstream. “Put my necklace back on,” I commanded.
I held my ground as Sebastian did what I instructed, the feeling of his fingers creating the same reaction as before.
I've got to get control of myself.
He finished and I released him from the grip of my powers.
“That was perfect,” he exclaimed with a smile.
“Thanks,” I mumbled, trying to pinpoint any part of me that felt weak from using my powers. So far I felt fine.
“Ready to try something else?”
“No, but sure. Any ideas?”
“Whatever you want.”
My shoulders slouched. “I hate when you say that. The free range stresses me out.”
“It's fine, I trust you.”
I sighed, but focused on my powers again. I didn't need to, but closed my eyes while I thought about Blythe and how she chose me to give a fragment of her soul to. Though I may have felt weak, the stones on my face were enough proof that I wasn't. I had a goddess within me.
My command played on repeat in my mind before I spoke it into existence. “Run a lap around the arena.”
My eyelids flipped open to watch Sebastian take off running. This command was difficult because I had to maintain my focus on it the entire time, and the arena was large.
His leg muscles rippled as he ran. His biceps tightened and released with the movements of his arms, and I bit my lip as I watched him. How did he make something so simple look so appealing?
He was almost finished with the lap, but my magic slipped as I became more focused on how his arms would feel holding me down against his mattress.
“Shit,” I muttered, flustered.
“It's okay.” His breathing was labored as he leisured towards me. “I could feel when the pull of your magic broke. But that was a good start. Try it again.”
I kept my eyes closed this time and was able to hold my control over him for the entire lap.
“Nice. Let's take a break for a minute. I need some water,” Sebastian said as he made for his bag.
I bent down to tighten my shoelaces, and when I stood up, my head started to spin. I braced my hands against my thighs, pushing myself upright as my vision blurred and my whole figure wobbled. I blinked through the dizziness and tried to find my center of gravity, praying Sebastian didn't notice.
“You good?” he called out to me.
Gods damnit.
How was he so observant?
“I'm fine!” I yelled back over my shoulder, the words slightly slurred.
Get it together, Maeve.
I tucked my hands into my pockets so he wouldn't notice them shake, then returned to my spot on the mat, keeping my mouth shut about what just happened.
“That went pretty well, so I'm thinking we should try something a little harder,” he said.
Great.
“Sounds good,” I lied. “What are you thinking?”
“How about trying to compel me to use my magic? I know you stopped Pia from using hers, but I would think controlling someone to use theirs would be more challenging.”
I didn't blink. He had to be joking. That was way too much for me after what just happened.
He stared back, waiting for my answer.
“Seriously?”
“Why not?”
“That sounds pretty complicated.”
“Scared of a challenge?”
“No. I just—”
“Sounds like you are.” He smirked tauntingly.
“I’m not. But I already did what you asked. I tried some harder commands and was successful. Let's just accept the victory tonight.”
A cocky grin appeared across his face. “It’s okay to be scared, Maeve. No need to lie.”
He knew exactly what he was doing.
“I’m not scared,” I growled, staring him down.
One of his shoulders shrugged. “If you weren’t scared, then you would do it.”
“Are you really trying to peer pressure me into this?”
“Is it working?” His eyes widened on me, matching my antagonistic glare.
“No. You—I—” My face scrunched and I stomped my foot down. “Fine, you jerk. Let's give it a try,” I agreed, knowing damn well it would be a mistake.
The pounding in my head didn't cease as I got back into position. I focused on the tingling in my face, using the familiar feeling to ignore the blood rushing to the surface of my skin as I harnessed my magic. “Use your magic to craft a dagger.”
Sebastian's hands got right to work, using his powers to form a blade of crystalline ice. He waved his hands like he was conducting an orchestra, crafting tiny icicles and carving details into the weapon he created.
My eyesight began to falter, tunneling into darkness for a moment before tearing me back into the arena’s bright light.
I held on to my power, only letting it go limp when Sebastian’s hand was outstretched in front of me, dripping as the weapon of ice melted from his body heat.
My vision blurred again when I reached out to take it, making me miss his hand by inches. My head pulsated, and though I could hardly see anything anymore, I made out the look of fear on his face.
“Maeve?”
I couldn't form the words to respond. I tried to grab the dagger again, but my body went slack and crumbled to the mat.
My eyes fluttered open. I rubbed the sleep away and glanced around my room. How did I get here?
The glow of the crescent moon poured over my skin as I rolled to my side in my bed. My gaze caught on Sebastian. He looked exhausted, lounging in my armchair reading a book.
I sat up and hung my legs off the side of my bed to try and stand, but his shadow appeared above me.
He looked worried. And kind of pissed.
He grabbed my legs, pulling them back onto the bed before taking his seat on the edge of the mattress. “How do you feel?”
“Um. I—” I cleared my throat. “Fine, I guess. What happened?”
“Does your head feel okay?” He peered around to the back of my skull.
“It's fine, why?” My hair crunched beneath my fingers when I felt where he was looking. There were flakes of dried blood on my hands when I pulled them back into view.
“Oh fuck.” My eyes widened as I recalled what happened.
He scooted a little closer to me. “What do you remember?”
“We were training. I compelled you to make a dagger.” I looked up at him for confirmation.
“Yeah. And then?”
I chewed the inside of my lip. I knew what happened, but didn’t want to say it.
“You passed out, Maeve. You wouldn’t wake up. I had to carry you back to your room. You’ve been unconscious for hours.”
“Oh.”
“Why didn’t you tell me?” he asked angrily.
“Tell you what?”
“Why didn’t you tell me that harnessing your power hurt you?” His eyebrows were furrowed as he questioned me.
“I'm sorry, Seb.” My cheeks flushed as I caught myself using his nickname. “I didn’t want you to think I was weak, and in all honesty, I didn’t know the extent of it.” I felt a little guilty for not warning him about how draining my power was, but never expected for it to knock me out.
Sebastian shot up from my bed. “Well shit, Maeve!” He started parading around my room, running his hands down the front of his perfectly chiseled face. “Does anyone else know?”
“No.”
He nodded slowly. “Good.” He sighed in relief as he roamed my room.
I gathered all of my strength and stood up as well. “Is it really that big of a deal? I'm sure with more practice I will—”
“Yes, Maeve, it is a big deal! You could get hurt! You could get killed!” He stormed over to me. “You can’t keep stuff like this from me! Not when I’m the one pushing you to your limits on a daily basis!”
“I'm sorry,” I said again, the anger in his voice triggering something in me. “That's never happened before. Usually I just get sick or get a bad headache.”
“Gods…I’ve been working you so hard and I had no idea it was hurting you.
” He hung his head, and not even the oceans in his eyes could hide the sorrow that took over his expression.
“How didn't I see this?” he asked himself.
“I mean, I should have known something was up by the way you were fighting back there.”
“I didn't want you to know.” I shrugged. “Why are you so upset over this?” He had never shown me any indication that he truly cared for me until now.
He pivoted so he could face me head on. His hands collapsed around my upper arms, his fingers so long that they wrapped all the way around. “Fuck, Maeve! If my father finds out, I'm worried that he’ll change his mind and go through with the deal with Draemor.”
My blood froze in my veins. Seeing Sebastian lose control caused instant panic to overwhelm me.
“I never thought of that…” My voice quivered. If King Hawthorne found out that I wasn't as powerful as he had thought, he’d have no reason to keep me here. My eyes started to gloss over.
Sebastian's expression softened when he realized that I was getting upset. “Shit, no. I'm sorry. It’s going to be fine, please don’t worry.” He pulled me into his chest, holding me there and resting his chin on top of my head.
I held my breath, trying to work through the weight of my emotions. I allowed the embrace to comfort me and wished it would never end.
Sebastian rubbed a palm over the back of my head, his fingers gliding slowly over my hair. “I’m not saying that would be the case, but we can't take any chances. It’s going to be fine, I promise you. I’ll think of something.”
I nodded into his chest. Being this close to him caused my heart to slow and my mind to calm. I breathed him in—his unique scent of pinewood and fresh snow.
He pulled away from me suddenly, and I found myself missing the warmth of his body against mine. We gazed at each other, and the way his eyes drifted to my lips made me realize that there was something between us—something more than just a soldier and his responsibility.
He sensed it, too. I know he did.
“You should get some sleep. I’ll check on you in the morning. Don't worry about training tomorrow. We’ll take another day off.”
“Okay.” I still felt frail and depleted, and sleep was the only solution to that problem.
I laid back in my bed, snuggling into the warmth of my sheets. Sebastian flicked my lamp off before the door locked behind him.
Pinewood lingered on my clothes as I drifted off to sleep.