Chapter 20
Chapter
Twenty
Sebastian must have left early the next morning, because Sawyer showed up in his place for combat training.
We never had time to figure out a plan before he left, so I would use my magic as little as possible until he got back.
I’d keep to the basics while wielding, which should work because Sawyer didn’t know any better.
Combat training left me completely defeated. Sebastian didn't take it easy on me by any means, but Sawyer showed me absolutely no mercy. He threw me on the ground too many times to count. I thought my offensive skills were improving, but maybe I was just learning to predict Sebastian's next move.
I collapsed to the mat, dropping my head between my knees while I tried to catch my breath. “Gods,” I said through labored breathing. “You’re a little too good at this.”
Sawyer huffed a laugh. “I’ve been training since I could walk, Willawood. I better be good at it.” He tossed me my rucksack and I removed my flask from it, finishing it off within seconds.
Sawyer had grown on me, which was good considering he was one of Sebastian's best friends. I sulked at the thought of him. He was so distraught yesterday, and I just hoped that he was okay.
“He’ll be fine,” Sawyer said, noticing the melancholy that had consumed me. He offered me his hand and I let him pull me to my feet.
I didn't bother trying to play dumb. “How long does it take to get to Craterra from here?” I asked him, trying to estimate when Sebastian might be back.
“Two or three days by horseback.”
I nodded, looking down at my feet.
“He should be back in a week or so.” Sawyer did the math for me. “In the meantime, you're stuck with me.”
“Oh joy.”
“Hey, you should consider yourself lucky to be training with me. I’m one of the best soldiers in Caelestis.”
I chuckled. “Best at what? Punching new students in the face?”
Sawyer pointed his dagger at me. “You had that coming. You were being a brat.”
“My whole life just got upturned. You would be a brat, too, if that happened to you,” I argued with a laugh.
“Yeah, yeah, sure.” He handed me my cloak and I threw it over my shoulders, wrapping it tightly around myself to prepare for the cold front that awaited us outside.
“Let’s go get some breakfast, Willawood, you’ll need to replenish your energy before I kick your ass again tonight.” Sawyer draped an arm over my shoulder and we started for the castle. “So, tell me a little more about yourself.”
“Pfft. What could you possibly want to know that Sebastian hasn’t already told you?”
His arm fell to the academy’s door handle, swinging it towards him and holding it open for me. “He hasn’t told me much to be honest. The basics, sure. And how much of a pain in the ass you were when you guys first met.”
My eyebrows sank.
“My words. Not his.”
“Okay. Well, um, I love the ocean and—”
Sawyer paused on the stone walkway, shaking his head. “No. None of that bull crap. I want the good stuff. Tell me the worst thing you’ve ever done, or your family’s dark secret, or about when you lost your virginity.”
A laugh shot out of me. “I am most certainly not telling you about my past relationships.”
Sawyer’s arms crossed under his cloak and his neck tilted. “Aw. Virgin? Cute.”
Scowling, I pushed past him, resuming my journey to the castle. “Not that it’s any of your business, but I am not a virgin. And as for dark family secrets, we have none. Worst thing I’ve ever done? Yet to be determined, so don’t piss me off.”
Sawyer’s laugh trailed after his boots as he scuffed the walkway to catch up with me. “Wanna know the worst thing I’ve ever done?”
“Is it the time you beat a new student up on the first day of training?”
“You hold a grudge, huh? But no. Not even close.” He chuckled as if my suggestion was so far out there. Still a hundred yards from the castle, he kept the conversation going. “How are you liking it here so far?”
“I hate it,” I said bluntly. “I want nothing to do with any of this. I don’t want to be living here. I don’t want my powers. And no offense, but I don’t want to be training with you.”
“Ouch.” Sawyer clutched a hand to his heart. “Tell me how you really feel.”
“It’s nothing against you. I don't want to be training with anyone. I don’t want to be training at all, or wielding, or going to galas, or living in an unfamiliar room, or—”
“I get it.” Looking over, he held a hand up to silence me. “If it helps, most people feel that way when they first get here. But I swear, once you graduate, it's really not all that bad. Aside from the battles and stuff.”
“Ah yes. Living the dream, huh?”
“Sure. Food’s decent. The girls are hot. Free room and board.”
“Decent food with a side of shitty rules and execution,” I snorted.
Sawyer shrugged. “You can’t have it all.”
“I'm exhausted,” I yawned when Pia and I arrived at the dormitories.
“I know. And you're welcome, by the way. If I didn't wake you up, then you would have missed Stoll's lesson about combining mental shields with wielding.”
We pushed through Pia’s door. “Sebastian started teaching me that weeks ago. It wasn't entirely new to me, anyways.” I shuffled across the room that looked essentially the same as mine, and slouched into her armchair, releasing another deep yawn.
Pia took a quick shower, and I studied my kingdom history text while I waited for her.
She returned wearing loungewear shortly after, indicating that she didn't plan on going anywhere else this evening.
She flopped down onto her bed and turned her head so that she could see me.
I stared back at her, and we both released a sigh of exhaustion.
“Tell me some good news,” I said, closing my book. I needed something to take my mind off of literally everything in my life right now. “Something that doesn't involve your sex life,” I clarified before she could respond.
Pia laughed. “But—”
“The last thing I need is a reminder that I don't have one, so please spare me the details.”
“Ugh fine, let me think.” The silence that followed was deafening. “Guess things are pretty lousy right now, aren't they?”
I scoffed. “No kidding.”
Pia rolled to her stomach. “If you don't want to talk about my sex life, can we talk about yours?” she asked innocently.
I burst out laughing. “I literally just told you that sex is nonexistent in my life right now.”
She laughed as well. “Well, it doesn't have to be. Maybe a little action will lift your spirits.”
“I’m sure it would. But with who?” I rolled my eyes.
“I'm sure Sawyer would take one for the team.”
“Ouch. Would sex with me really be considered charity work?” I smirked and clutched my chest to dramatize my exclamation.
“I'm kidding about that part, but I'm sure he would, though.”
My head shook with my laughter, but my smile faded shortly after. I had no interest in sleeping with anyone except for one certain individual, and I knew that was never going to happen.
“You could just be straightforward with Seb. Tell him that you have feelings for him,” Pia suggested.
Sometimes I swore that she could read my mind.
“Nope. No way.”
“Come on,” she groaned. “Why not?”
I answered without hesitation. “There's too many reasons why he shouldn't know the way I feel about him. Hell, I don't even know exactly how I feel. Besides, it would complicate things too much.”
“Too many reasons? Care to elaborate?”
“Well for starters, if King Hawthorne found out, he’d replace Sebastian as my guard.
With my luck it would be with freaking Sawyer, and I don't think I could handle him full time.
He asks too many questions. And if I tell Sebastian how I feel and he doesn't feel the same, it would make for an incredibly awkward year and a half.”
Pia’s eyebrows rose. “Is that it?”
“No. He's like, four years older than me. I'm sure he would want someone who's closer to his age.”
“Four years is nothing, and I’m sure Seb would agree. Try again.”
“He doesn't break down over every minor inconvenience like I do, and he's seen me puke. That's gotta be a turn off for him.”
Pia gave me a sideways glance. “When did he see you puke?”
“Never mind that.” I puffed out my cheeks, then released my breath. “I guess that's all I got.”
Pia pulled herself up and slid off her bed, moving to stand in front of me. She crossed her arms over her chest. “Those are the absolute most ridiculous excuses for not telling someone you love them that I've ever heard!” she shouted in my face.
I jumped to my feet. “Who said anything about love?”
Pia gave me a knowing look, and I shook my head in denial. I was about ready to argue with her when I caught sight of the clock on her desk.
“Shit, I gotta go,” I said frantically. Sawyer was likely already waiting to collect me for wielding practice. I gathered my cloak and bag, and raced down the hall to my room.
I was right.
“You're late.” Sawyer tapped his imaginary watch.
“Sorry. Lost track of time.”
“I’ll cut you some slack this time, but don't let it happen again.”
“Oh, whatever. Let's go.” I made my way down the spiral staircase and led the way to the combat arena.
We both got situated then stood across from each other on the mat. He bent down to tie his boot, and I tried to mentally prepare myself for the outcome of this session. I had no idea what to expect.
Sawyer, along with mostly everyone else in the kingdom, didn't know much about the powers I had from my constellastones.
I should be able to get away with just using some basic commands on him, which in theory would prevent me from overexerting myself.
It worked on Sebastian—until it didn't. I’d have to find a balance though.
If I kept it too simple, I risked Sawyer asking questions.
“Alright, Willawood, let's do this!” Sawyer hollered with a clap of his hands.
Anxiety tried to creep up inside of me, but I shoved it down. If I lost my composure now, it’d be a dead giveaway that something was up.