Chapter 34
Chapter
Thirty-Four
Ishot upright in my bed, my eyes glued to Sebastian as he slipped into my room. Jaw clenched and white knuckled as he approached, my heart pounded, trying to escape from the dungeon of my ribcage.
He looked the same as when he’d left, aside from his hair desperately needing to be cut.
The metal armor plate still covered his chest, which led me to believe that he came straight here when he got back.
His battle leathers creased around his thighs as he inched towards me.
“Hey,” he announced himself, his voice hoarse and dark.
I climbed free of my sheets and stood at the end of my bed, leaning back against the footboard. Everything that had been building up inside of me for months tried to break free. My body tensed, but this was a battle I shouldn't fight.
Anger. Grief. Depression. Fear. Love. All built up so high that I couldn't control myself. The emotions begged to scatter out of me, so I stopped fighting myself and set them free.
All of my strength came through my biceps as I took a long stride towards Sebastian and shoved him in the chest. He stumbled back a few steps, losing his footing.
“How could you!” I screamed, salty tears pouring from my eyes like rivers.
Sebastian held his arms up in surrender and tried to approach me again. “Maeve, let me explain—”
“NO!” I wailed, pointing a finger at him. “You just left, without so much as a word! Better yet, you volunteered!” My fingers grasped at my scalp, tangling in my hair. He reached a hand out for my shoulder, but I turned to avoid it.
Every cell in my body was conflicted, unable to process this. I was relieved that he was back, alive and in one piece. So unbelievably relieved. But I was also so fucking angry that he left in the first place.
“Three months,” I whispered, raising my eyes and three fingers to him.
“Three fucking months, of not knowing if you were alive or dead.” I shouted the words, then sucked in a few shuddered breaths to console myself.
My body fell onto my mattress, sagging down so that I could place my head in my hands.
He came back.
He was safe.
That was all that mattered right now.
I heard a clang of armor as it hit the floor, then the mattress shifted underneath me. Muscular arms wrapped around my waist, pulling me into the chest of the man I had missed for months.
He held me tightly, stroking my hair as I sobbed into his chest. “Shh, baby. Everything is okay.”
He is alive.
I wept in relief for what felt like an hour, though it was only minutes.
“I'm sorry,” Sebastian whispered, and I knew he meant it. “I had to go. I’m one of the best soldiers Caelestis has, and I needed to ensure things were done right. I needed to keep you safe.”
I breathed him in. Despite all the death he just endured, his skin still smelt fresh and crisp, like frost.
“You didn’t have to leave. You chose to,” I contested.
He breathed deeply, pulling me in closer to him. “I didn't make that decision lightly. I didn’t want to leave you, but I knew you would be safe here with Sawyer.”
I lifted my head up, letting him see the gleam in my eyes. “You didn’t even write.”
“I couldn’t. It’s so much worse than you even realize, Maeve.” Sebastian shook his head. “The Draemornian soldiers retreated for now, but this is not the end of it.”
“What took you so long to get back?” I sniffled.
He pressed his lips together, hesitant to answer me. “I had some things to take care of before I left.”
“Things?”
His brows furrowed, and his face filled with sorrow as he hung his head. Bodies. He meant bodies. He had to bury the corpses of his fellow soldiers.
“Oh.”
He looked back up at me, faking a small smile to show that he was okay. I saw right through it. He fidgeted with his thumbs and looked at me as if he had more to tell me, but didn't want to.
I wasn't sure that I wanted to know, but asked anyway. “What is it?”
“Beaumont still wants revenge against Caelestis, but he wants you more. He desires your powers, and it seems as though he will go to the extreme to get what he wants. We don’t know how to stop him without full blown war.
” Sebastian looked stressed as he continued.
“The things I heard over there…about you…” He shuddered, as if he couldn't stomach saying the words. “The entire Draemornian army has a one track mind to get to you, and the things they are saying they’ll do to you if they get their hands on you…I can’t even—” His skin paled and he looked as though he might be sick.
His arms loosened so that I could sit up, using the back of my hand to soak up my tears.
He didn't want to elaborate on what he heard, and I was fine only being able to imagine what would be done to me. The news of more war didn't surprise me—I’d never expected King Beaumont to simply give up, and my visions showed me a glimpse of what was to come.
I may have been hurt that he left, but Sebastian was right. I’d been safe here at the castle while he went through something unimaginable.
My finger grazed across his jaw, edging along the sharp bone. “I’m glad you’re safe. But are you okay?”
“I’m fine.” He nodded, though a muscle in his jaw twitched under my finger tip.
“Are you really fine?” I asked him the same question he’d asked me too many times to count.
“Yes.” He pulled me back into his arms and dragged us down onto the bed.
I wanted to pry, but knew better than to try and get information out of him that he didn't wish to share. I’d ask him again at a later time.
“I’ve missed you more than you could ever imagine.” He leaned forward to kiss me softly. Our first kiss in months, and gods, was it worth the wait. His mouth was soft and subtle against my own, and he tasted just as I remembered.
“Are you sure? For a while I thought that you leaving was your last attempt to get away from me,” I teased, letting my lips linger against his.
Sebastian’s grin interrupted our kiss. “Never.”
In one swift motion, he pulled me on top of him and rolled onto his back. Straddling him, I hunched forward to press my mouth to his, this time more passionately as I released the longing that I’d been holding inside since he left.
Our tongues worked together in sync, as if no time had passed at all.
His hands roamed along my body, stopping at my waist and holding me down even closer to him. My lips moved to his neck, and he shivered in response to my touch. My stomach swirled with arousal, knowing that he reacted to me in the same manner that I did to him.
My teeth skimmed across his throat, then back to his mouth, reclaiming our kiss.
As his hands moved down my back to cup my ass, mine slid down his chest, stopping at the hem of his shirt.
My fingers looped underneath the fabric and I broke our lips apart to pull the barrier off of him, revealing his toned abdomen. I bit my lip at the sight of him.
“If you keep looking at me like that, there's going to be a lot more than just kissing going on in this room,” he warned, his gaze a tempting threat.
“Good.”
Our eyes captured each other, staring for a lust-filled moment as we recognized each other's needs. I could tell he wanted this as much as I did, but was waiting for me to give him the go ahead.
I pulled myself up on his lap, grinding my hips and causing him to quietly groan in response to the friction.
Not breaking our eye contact, I pulled my shirt over my head, leaving my breasts full and bare, showcasing my desire for him.
Though my self-consciousness told me to hide, there was no need to conceal myself with him.
Sebastian sat up hastily, careful not to throw me off of him. I could sense his arousal growing stronger as his eyes drifted over my naked torso. He hardened against my ass, and the feel of his desire caused my own to saturate my panties.
He clenched his jaw, breaking his gaze from my breasts and moving his eyes to my face. “Maeve, are you sure—”
I interrupted his words by leaning forward, settling my hips down into him as I did. My nipples grazed against his chest as I brushed my lips tauntingly against his neck.
“I've been waiting three months for you. Yes, I'm sure,” I whispered into his skin.
“I just don't want you to regret it if we—”
“I won’t.”
“I still think you deserve better.”
Was he serious right now? I appreciated the chivalry, but I wanted this—probably more than he did.
I sat upright on his lap, staring at him starry eyed. “Seb, just fuck me already,” I demanded.
His eyes widened with desire, and he wasted no time pulling me down over him and capturing one of my nipples with his lips. It stiffened as his tongue flicked over it. My hands weaved into his hair as he licked me, the dampness of his tongue sending shivers over my whole body.
I didn't know how he did it, but the next thing I knew, he was on top of me, his mouth claiming mine again as he worked my pants down my legs. I was so eager to have him that I kicked them off myself, not wanting to waste any time.
“Someone’s impatient,” he groaned teasingly into my mouth.
“I’ve been patient enough. I need to feel you. Now,” I pleaded, not caring how desperate I sounded.
He smirked as he forced his mouth away from mine, watching my reaction as his fingers dipped into my panties and began to massage my clit. My mouth fell open in pleasure as he stroked me.
“So wet already,” he said breathily, moving his hand down further. Two of his fingers pushed inside of me, and I gasped at the unexpected feeling as he slowly pulled them in and out.
“Is that what you were doing in bed when I arrived? Touching yourself while you thought about me?” Sebastian’s words lingered in the air as he taunted me. I couldn't respond.
I flailed beneath him, but the palm of his hand splayed on my stomach, holding me to the mattress. My neck strained to watch as he ruined me with his fingers, and he smirked when he noticed.
“Do you like watching me play with you?”