Chapter 38
Garrick
I’m killing it on my times in this relay, my legs burning as I jump over the hay bale.
Catching sight of Juliet, my chest swells with warmth.
I flash her a grin, trying to decide when we can sneak out to Tyrone’s to get some alone time.
The weather is warmer today, almost like spring.
Maybe we can have a picnic – I wouldn’t mind impressing Juliet with my outstanding snack-packing skills.
That feels like something she’d be very into – all that organization.
I’m mid-leap over the final hurdle when a clatter behind the camera steals everyone’s attention. I catch sight of a pale Juliet as she wobbles on unsteady legs before collapsing to the ground.
The hay scratches and burns the back of my legs as I land on it hard, not clearing the mound. But I barely notice. Ripping over the relay obstacles and past the sidelines, I push through the crew before I think most people realize what happened.
‘Juliet!’ I skid to the ground, my knees banging into the cold asphalt. Everything is numb except her limp body in my arms. ‘Juliet! Help!’ I yell to the people behind me, heart thudding in my chest as I stare at them with wild eyes. There is an EMT on set, and they’re over within seconds.
Someone is pulling me away – I think it’s Ivor, but I’m thrashing against them to get back to her.
‘What’s going on?’ Ms Ripley parts the crowd. ‘Oh my god, Juliet.’
Minutes pass but they feel like hours … an eternity.
‘Let’s get her to the ER.’ I think it’s the EMT talking, but all the faces swim together in my vision. All except Juliet’s. She looks so helpless on the ground, so unlike the person I know she is. Her usually pink cheeks are pale, her lips equally drained of color.
Oh god, she looks …
I barely register what’s being said. The world buzzes as my skin tingles with a familiar sensation.
The pain topped with fear and nausea – the same thing I had when my mom got sick.
Bile burns my throat and I swallow in my dry mouth to keep it at bay.
I force myself to remain here in this moment – for Juliet – and not check out like my default setting is screaming at me to do.
‘I need to go with her,’ I say as they carry Juliet to the ambulance, her limp frame freaking me out. Please wake up, Juliet, please, god, wake up.
‘She’ll be OK.’ It’s Ivor beside me.
I turn to him. My tongue feels like rubber. ‘I need to be there.’ Cold sweat glistens on my skin and the warm day is suddenly icy.
He doesn’t wait for more. ‘My car’s out front.
’ He places a hand on the back of my neck and steers me away without a word.
I have no idea what everyone is doing – if they’re wondering what the hell is wrong with me, because I keep my gaze on the ambulance.
Even after it’s gone, my eyes don’t leave the space.
We get to the hospital in record time. Ivor isn’t one to speed, but he must have done. Not that I noticed. My mind is laser-focused on Juliet – and the burning in my chest when I think about all the things that could be wrong.
Pain radiates over my ribs, my chest tightens as we walk into the ER. ‘My … uh, friend Juliet Ripley was brought here by ambulance. I need to see her,’ I say to the woman at the check-in counter.
She glances at her computer. ‘I see she’s here, but I’m afraid that’s all I can tell you. You’re welcome to wait in the lobby and see if you can get the relative with her to give you more information.’ Her voice is kind, face sympathetic, but I feel none of it.
‘Look,’ I lean on the counter, trying to pull out my best charming smile. It hurts my face to do it, so I’m not sure how successful this will be, but I have to give it a go. ‘I understand you have rules, but I really need to see her. OK? So, please push that button and let us back?’
‘I understand your concern for your friend, but rules are rules.’
My blood pulses in my ears, and I think I’ve left my body.
I don’t know who’s controlling it now, but he’s pissed.
‘Concern? Of course I’m concerned. That’s why I need to get back there.
Now!’ I don’t realize I’m yelling until Ivor puts his hand on my shoulder.
The firm grip brings me back to reality.
‘Garrick, she’s in good hands. We’ll stay here and be ready the moment we can see her.’ When I don’t look at him, he adds more softly, ‘OK?’
The world is taking on a gray haze. The colors melt away in this hospital waiting room as the reality of my location sets in. I haven’t been to a hospital since my mom died.
People come here, and they don’t come back.
I squeeze my hands into fists at my side, trying to even my breaths.
What if she doesn’t make it? What the heck was I thinking letting myself do this again?
I can’t watch someone else die. I told myself – I made a pact with my brain – that I wouldn’t get into this situation.
I didn’t want love. I didn’t want to be close to someone just for it to end like this again.
‘Come on.’ Ivor leads me to a faded set of chairs to wait. I slump forward with my head in my hands, leaning against my knees. ‘She’ll be OK.’
I want Ivor to be right. And a large part of me knows that he is. This situation isn’t at all the same as with Mom. But what if it is? Juliet might appear healthy, but you never know. The body can so easily conceal and betray you, sneaking up when you least expect it.
I should have kept my heart locked up tight.
Love has no place in it. I was supposed to protect myself from this.
If Ripley and I had never got involved, I wouldn’t be sitting in a room that smells of disinfectant with other forlorn people, waiting for news that will – could – might – change my life forever.
And not in a good way. What was I thinking?
I wasn’t, but I need to now.
My phone buzzes in my pocket and I take it out, seeing a dozen texts from Tristian and Aldrich and a few missed calls from Dad.
I hadn’t even noticed it was going off in my pocket non-stop.
The screen shines in my face and then goes dark.
I tap the screen again with all the intention of responding, but I can’t make my fingers move.
Dark overtakes the device, and the messages left for me go unanswered.
What would I even say to them? I don’t know any more than I did when they carried Ripley away.
No one comes to Garrick for the heavy news.
I’m not the guy people expect to hear bad things from.
I hide it all away. That’s what I did with Mom.
I closed my eyes, buried my head in the sand and ignored the wails of anguish around me.
It was crappy of me, I see that now. My brothers were all hurting, but I didn’t know what to do. I still don’t.
Time passes as we sit there, then Ms Ripley comes out to see us. Ivor must have texted her to say that we were there.
I stand quickly, shoving my hands into my pockets. ‘Is she OK?’
Ms Ripley is exhausted, but doesn’t look like she’s seen death. ‘It’s appendicitis. It hasn’t burst, but it’s severely infected. They’re prepping to get her into surgery soon.’
I glance at my watch – it’s nearly midnight. ‘Can I maybe see her?’
She shakes her head. ‘I’m afraid not. But you’re welcome to stay in the surgery waiting room with me and we can see her after.’
A hospital waiting room is the last place I want to spend the night, but I can’t leave until I know Ripley is OK. ‘I’m staying, but you can go,’ I tell Ivor.
‘Not happening, G. I’m with you as long as you need me.’
I give him a tight smile, thankful to have him. Ripley is having surgery. An easy one, they say, but my heart still weighs heavy in my chest as we wait to see what happens.