Chapter Twenty #2
Considering they got off to a fairly rocky start, getting Oliver up in the morning went surprisingly well.
Brian got him changed and dressed with no problem.
Because he’d been so tired last night, they’d skipped tubby time, but Siobhan said she’d given him a quick shower after daycare to get the sunscreen and bug spray off before the car ride.
They brushed their teeth together, and Brian brushed Oliver’s hair before running the brush through his own.
He’d jump in the shower…later, he guessed. He’d have to remember to ask Siobhan or his mother how an adult who was alone with a toddler got to go in the bathroom alone and be naked under running water and unable to hear what was going on in the rest of the house.
He walked sideways down the stairs, holding Oliver’s hand while the child held the railing with the other.
Brian wasn’t sure his nerves could take it, but he knew navigating stairs was an important thing to learn.
About a third of the way down, Oliver gave up and butt-bumped down the rest, still holding Brian’s hand. That worked for him.
When he saw Siobhan sitting at the kitchen table, sipping her coffee in her pajamas, with her hair a messy cloud and one of his zip sweatshirts open over her sleep shirt, Brian’s heart ached in a way he hoped never stopped.
This was what he wanted.
It felt so right, her smiling at him and then at their son, who was a lot more interested in what Stella was doing than the adults. This felt like home to him, and he busied himself taking Stella out so Siobhan wouldn’t see the depth of emotion in his eyes.
Although, that would be hard for her to do since he realized once Stella was finished that Siobhan wasn’t actually meeting his gaze. They made eye contact once, and she’d blushed and looked away.
Maybe it was just typical morning-after shyness.
This was the space where they’d probably have a conversation about what happened, how absolutely perfect it was—in his opinion, of course, but he was sure she’d also enjoyed it—and where they went from here.
But between his near-death experience trying to save his son from absolutely nothing and then going through a very new-to-him morning experience, there hadn’t been a time for talking.
“I usually give him some water in his sippy cup when he first wakes up,” Siobhan told him. “I’m going to get dressed now and then we can do breakfast.”
She was gone before Brian could say anything, not that he had any idea what those words would be. They’d talked about a lot of things in front of Oliver because he was little and didn’t grasp a lot of concepts, but there was a line.
Brian got Oliver’s sippy cup from his bag and filled it with filtered water from the fridge.
Oliver thanked him in his little voice, making Brian smile, and then the boy toddled off to the living room, where he flopped down on the oversized dog bed that didn’t get a lot of use.
Stella joined him there, and Oliver ran his fingers through her fur while having his drink.
It took Siobhan longer than Brian expected to get dressed, but he supposed she might be enjoying having the freedom of Oliver being watched over.
She smiled at him when she finally came down the stairs, but it didn’t look like a smile to tell him she’d had a great time last night and wanted to do it again.
It looked like an I have a very amusing secret smile.
“Oliver, what do you want for breakfast?” she called, again delaying any kind of adult conversation.
“Eggs!”
She looked at Brian and shrugged. “Usually he likes oatmeal, and I brought a box. But I guess today, he wants scrambled eggs.”
“I can do that. How about you?”
“Scrambled eggs works for me.”
They worked side by side, him scrambling a skillet full of eggs while she fed bread into the toaster and buttered it when it popped.
Brian noticed after the first round, she nudged the dial toward darker toast a bit, but he kept his mouth shut.
He could live with darker toast if that’s how they liked it.
They’d just sat down, Oliver in a booster that was strapped to a chair, when his phone started blowing up. “Sorry. Usually I wouldn’t have my phone at the table, but that’s the family group chat and there’s no reason why they should all be on right now.”
She shrugged, that playful smile flirting with her lips again. “No problem.”
That’s when he realized hers was vibrating, too, almost in time with his, and he unlocked his screen to find a ton of messages that seemed to have come through after Siobhan posted a video link.
He clicked on it and was treated to watching Oliver sitting up in bed and yelling for him.
Then it sounded like a tornado swept through the downstairs, destroying everything in its wake—and oops, he hadn’t meant to say that word out loud—before he stumbled into the camera frame.
And it ended with his cute son telling him he was awake.
Realization struck that she’d taken so long upstairs because she’d figured out how to rewind the video and then captured the playback with her own phone. He lowered his phone, staring at his betrayer. “What did you do? How are you in the family group chat?”
Siobhan shrugged one shoulder, a sly smile curving her lips as she scrolled. “It’s a new one with basically just your immediate family, so we can share Oliver updates. Like waking up for the first time in Daddy’s house.”
Brian opened a video message and immediately regretted it as he watched a video—taken from the doorbell camera at the campground—of Rob watching the video and then laughing so hard he dropped his phone and had to start it all over again.
He put his hand over his heart and sighed. “I can’t believe you would do this to me. You’re supposed to be on my side.”
She snickered. “Oliver has some catching up to do when it comes to being a Kowalski. He’s still little, but I can give him a head start.”
He laughed. “Brutal.”
“Yeah, I know. Kowalskis can hold a grudge forever. Blah, blah, blah.” She pointed her finger at him. “Be honest. How long would it have been before you sent the video to the family group chat?”
He tried to scowl, but he couldn’t hold it and chuckled. “I would at least have finished eating my breakfast in peace first.”
Scrambled eggs weren’t great cold, so they both silenced their phones and concentrated on breakfast. Once she realized toddlers weren’t the cleanest of eaters, Stella fell even more in love with the small human.
Unfortunately, Oliver figured out very quickly that the dog loved snatching up dropped bits of food and it became a game.
Siobhan had to break out the mom voice to put an end to it.
“So that’s a thing,” Siobhan said once Oliver went back to munching on his toast. “I know you’re going to want everything to be happy and fun because you’re getting to know each other and you want him to love you, but you will create a monster if you don’t set boundaries.
There will be times you have to tell him no.
He might cry. He might pitch a fit and need to sit quietly on his bed for a few minutes.
But a no has to be a no, and he will still love you. I promise.”
“Okay.” He wasn’t looking forward to that. “I know there’s going to be a learning curve, but I have way too much respect for you to put us in a fun parent versus the stern parent situation with him.”
Once they were finished, Oliver went back to hanging out in the dog bed with Stella, and Brian frowned. “Should I get one of those little stuffed couches for him? A beanbag? A little rocking chair?”
She laughed and shook her head. “Don’t bother. He’ll still hang out on the dog bed. That’s money better spent on lint rollers.”
They were laughing together as they cleared the table, and he started filling the sink with hot, soapy water. He imagined starting every day this way—or at the least the weekends—and smiled as he dropped the plates and silverware into the water and turned off the faucet.
“That appointment’s only like ten days away,” Siobhan said, sounding serious again. “Should we just meet there?”
“It would probably be easiest because we can’t meet at your place without you driving north and then turning around and going back into the city. But maybe we can take Oliver out after to celebrate?”
“That sounds great.” She handed him the sponge she’d used to wipe the table down.
“I’ll be so happy when it’s done, not just because we’ll be settled with regard to Oliver, but I can’t keep taking time off of work.
Just the week of the wedding was a big ask because it was short notice, and since then, I’ve had to take multiple days and half days off, plus even when I’m there, I’ve had a lot on my mind.
Obviously. But I’m going to lose my job if I don’t get it together. ”
“You know, you and Oliver could move in here.”
The words fell out of his mouth and they felt so natural to him, but Siobhan stared at him for a long moment as his heart pounded in his chest. “What?”
“If you think about it, it makes sense.”
“It makes no sense.”
Panic welled up in Brian’s chest. He was blowing this. “You can get out of the city. Oliver will have a yard, and Stella. And you said you hate your job and the commute. You could find a job you want around here, and the childcare is so much less expensive. And he’d have both of his parents.”
“Stop talking.”
He stopped talking. Siobhan was so still, except for the rapid rise and fall of her chest. His heart was pounding in his chest, and he heard Stella’s nails on the floor and then Oliver giggling.
Siobhan’s expression gave him nothing and the blankness on her face made him realize what a terrible error he’d made.
“I think you have everything under control here,” she said quietly. “I’m going to go talk to Oliver and explain again that he’s sleeping here, and then I’m hitting the road.”
He sucked in a breath, his brow furrowing. “You’re not staying?”
“I don’t think so.” She inhaled sharply through her nose, her lips pinched together.
“Brian, Oliver doesn’t come with a ready-made family.
He’s your son. You’re going to spend time with him and have a hand in raising him.
But us? Our job is to co-parent him and what we did last night makes that messy and we absolutely shouldn’t have done it.
And I’m going to go home so it doesn’t happen again. ”
“A ready-made family?” He took a step toward her. “You’re going home? What are you talking about?”
“We’re not going to live here together as one happy little family.
This is your time with him. I brought him here and spent the night to help him be comfortable.
He did really good and I know you’ll be fine so I’m going home.
We’ll come up with a time and place for you to hand him back off to me tomorrow. ”
The pain was so intense, he wasn’t sure he’d be able to take a deep breath. He’d totally misread the situation and apparently for her, the sexual chemistry between them was only that. Chemistry. She didn’t want him.
He was afraid to speak while his emotions were in turmoil because he didn’t want to say anything that would make it worse. After the positive news from Kevin, a personal conflict between him and Siobhan would be a huge setback. “Sure. Okay.”
Then he turned his back on her, returning to the sink, because it was anything but okay.
He listened as Siobhan went to Oliver, who was sitting on the floor, playing with his trucks with Stella curled up next to him.
“Did you like sleeping at Daddy’s house?” he heard her ask, and he squeezed his eyes closed so they couldn’t tear up. “Good. Remember Mommy told you that sometimes you’d sleep at Daddy’s and it would be just you and Daddy?”
“And Stella?”
“And Stella. You’re going to sleep at Daddy’s tonight and then Mommy will get you tomorrow, okay?”
“Okay.”
“I’m going to go upstairs and get my stuff and then I’ll come kiss you goodbye and you can have fun with Daddy and Stella today.”
He must have been okay with that because a moment later, Brian heard Siobhan’s footsteps on the stairs. During the time she was up there, he did his best to reset himself—he’d been wrong about what was between them and because of that, she was going to distance herself.
And he had to let her. He couldn’t make her feel something she didn’t, and trying to would only complicate their tender new balance with Oliver. Their son was number one. Always.
Siobhan left twenty minutes later, after giving Oliver a huge hug and covering his face in kisses.
Brian heard the tremor in her voice, despite her obvious effort to sound positive and upbeat for their son.
He assumed it was because she was leaving her baby overnight, because when she turned to Brian, her face was blank again.
They agreed on a time and place to meet tomorrow and that was that. He listened until he couldn’t hear her car on the road anymore, and then he emotionally dusted himself off and went into the living room.
“Who wants to go for a walk?”