Chapter Twenty-Three
After a long holiday weekend of working his ass off in what felt like record heat in a futile attempt to wear himself out enough to sleep without dreaming of Hannah, Rob was done.
Her camper had been closed up since the last time he was there, just like everybody else’s because the air conditioners were on.
By midday on Monday, he hadn’t had so much as a glimpse of her, which was both a blessing and a curse.
He skipped the store and went straight to the house after fixing a fire ring some guys had tried to move, hoping he’d be alone.
It was just his luck that Brian had the same idea and was sitting on the couch with an old rickety fan they’d found in the basement blowing on him.
Stella was stretched out on the floor, trying to soak up the barely cool air from the AC in the window.
Rob stopped, not wanting to lock himself in the hot oversize closet that was his room, but not wanting to stay here. He didn’t want to go in the store. He was about to grab his truck keys when Brian looked at him and did a double take.
“You look like your...” Brian paused and looked at Stella. “Like your cat just died.”
Rob shook his head, unable to manage even a weak smile at the joke.
He sank into the chair, and Stella immediately trotted to him and rested her chin on his thigh despite the heat.
Usually scratching behind her ears and giving her a good belly rub made him feel better, but he wasn’t sure even Stella’s love could help today.
“What happened, Bobby?”
“You were right the whole time. Fraternizing with our campers is a really bad idea.”
“She’s not leaving until the end of the month. I don’t... What happened?”
“I knew that by the end of the month, I’d be so damned in love with her I wouldn’t be able to stop myself from asking her to stay.
I thought it would be easier to just break off our summer fling now, so we’d already have some distance and separation between us when she pulls out, so I told her it was over. ”
Brian let his feet fall to the floor with a thump. “It was too late like a month ago.”
“Yeah.”
“You said you wouldn’t be able to stop yourself from asking her to stay. Why can’t you?”
“Because she can’t stay. And I can’t go. It’s that simple.”
Brian made a really annoying but is it, though sound. “People move. It’s a thing that’s possible. People even did it before trucks were invented and they had to carry their shit on their backs.”
“Erika has all this data and growth projections and business plans. Hannah’s been going through it and sorting into pros and cons and comparisons and all that. They’re making plans—big ones—and based on what I saw, not the kind of plans you just toss out the window on a whim.”
“But Hannah doesn’t have all the data, does she? You can’t feel like she’s leaving you out of the decision if she doesn’t even know you’re part of it.”
Rob’s hand—the one not rubbing Stella’s head—was balled into a fist so tightly his knuckles ached, and he forced himself to open it and rest his palm on his thigh. “She told Erika I’m a summer fling. That’s the data I’m working with.”
“I’m sorry, Bobby.” Brian blew out a breath. Then he leaned forward and rested his elbows on his knees. “But have you thought—”
Rob pushed to his feet and turned his back on his brother. He wanted to walk out the door, but he had nowhere to go. “I’ve done nothing but think about this for weeks.”
Brian stood and put his hand on Rob’s shoulder to spin him back to face him. “I’m going to finish my sentence.”
“Why? Shouldn’t you be the last person to be fighting for love?” As soon as the words left his mouth, Rob regretted them. “I’m sorry.”
Brian was quiet for a long moment, his eyes sad in a way that battered at Rob’s broken heart.
“I don’t even know what went wrong with Kelly.
One day she just decided she didn’t want to be married to me anymore.
But that doesn’t mean I don’t believe in love, Bobby.
Do you really think I can look at our family—at our parents and our grandparents—and not believe in it? ”
Unable to meet his brother’s eyes, Rob looked down and gave Stella a sad smile. She cocked her head, probably trying to figure out why her favorite humans were upset with each other.
“Joey found it,” Brian continued. “I want it for all of us. I want it for you. I even want it for myself again someday. If you really love her—if she’s the one—you can’t just let her leave without telling her.”
“I’m not sure if I can survive Hannah telling me she doesn’t love me enough to stay.”
“Sit back down,” Brian demanded, and since Rob had no idea what else to do with himself, he listened.
“You can’t frame it like that, man. She either stays or she doesn’t love you.
It’s not like her family lives a few hours away, so that’s not fair.
She might love you, but also love her family and her home and the life she’s built. ”
“I know.” Rob dropped his face to his hands, giving it a good scrub.
“Do you love her enough to go with her to California?”
Rob froze except for a tremor deep in his muscles as the emotions his brother’s question evoked threatened to overwhelm him. “I can’t do that.”
“Why?” Brian sat back in his chair and held up his hand. “Do you not love her enough?”
Heat prickled over his skin, and Rob looked down at his hands because he couldn’t bring himself to meet his brother’s eyes. Yes, he loved Hannah. But even if he could be happy so far away from New Hampshire, how could he leave his family? Would he get to see them once a year? Twice if he was lucky?
And there was no way he could bail on this campground before the first summer was over. He’d come into this hoping to earn his brothers’ respect so they’d take him seriously. That would never happen if he took off.
How did he end up in this place—having to choose between the woman he loved and everybody else he loved?
“Yeah, that shit you’re feeling right now?” Brian said. “If she loves you, she’s feeling the same thing. And because neither of you want to say it out loud because it looks too hard, you both might walk away from the best thing to ever happen to you.”
“I can’t leave,” Rob insisted in a hoarse voice. “I made a commitment to you guys. An even bigger commitment now because Joey’s having a baby and we’re going to take up his slack. You’re my brothers, and we’re in this together.”
“That means we’ll figure it out together.
” Brian shoved a hand through his hair. “And if we don’t.
.. Bobby, come on. There’s no business—no amount of money—that’s worth you throwing away your chance at a future with the woman you love.
We’d walk away from it and let it go bankrupt and all of us go back to rebuilding the lives we had before the campground before we asked you to do that. ”
Rob wasn’t sure he could speak even if he’d any idea of what to say to that. He looked at his brother, looking for annoyance or even anger. All he saw was concern and sincerity.
“I don’t know what to do,” he whispered.
Brian shook his head. “You already did it, dumbass. You shouldn’t have told her it was over. You should have told her you love her.”
“It’s too late now.”
“I’m pretty sure if Dad was here he’d say it’s never too late,” Brian said. “So would Mom. And literally everybody.”
“Don’t you dare tell Mom. Or Dad. Or literally anybody.”
“You know I won’t.” He sighed and leaned back against the couch cushion.
Then he grimaced and leaned forward again because it was an awful fake-leather material that was highly unpleasant when it was hot.
It was almost enough to make Rob smile. “You need to think long and hard about this, Bobby. I know it’s hard to imagine not living here surrounded by your incredibly handsome and funny family, but I like her for you.
There’s something real between you and even if you do go your separate ways, you need to tell her how you feel. ”
“I don’t know if I can. I saw those notes and I told her our summer fling was over because I don’t think I can take the pain of telling her I love her and having it rejected.”
“That pain will heal. But I think the pain of wondering will haunt you.”
Rob looked sideways at him. “I know older brothers are supposed to be wiser and all, but you’re treading really close to the self-help book line.”
“It’s the heat,” Brian said. “I’m suffocating and underoxygenated.”
“I’m getting a beer.”
“Get me one, too. It won’t help, but maybe it’ll make me care less.”
When Rob retrieved two and bent to hand him the ice-cold bottle, Brian captured his fingers along with the beer so he had no choice but to stay and look at him.
“Think about it, Bobby. No matter where you are, we’re your family and we’ve got your back.
We’re always here. You need to ask yourself if you’re ready to spend the rest of your life without Hannah because you were scared. ”
It wasn’t until he nodded that his brother released his hand, sliding the bottle out of his grasp.
Rob sat and twisted the cap off, but he paused before taking a sip. “I don’t want to spend the rest of my life without Hannah.”
“Then you better start thinking about what you’re going to say, little brother, because winning a woman back is always harder than finding her in the first place.”
“Okay, we definitely need better air-conditioning if this is what heat does to you. A few more degrees and you’ll have us all doing yoga.”
Hannah heard the footsteps in the gravel, but she was in the process of trying to stow the two camp chairs in the storage compartment and they didn’t want to fit beside the small grill. Since she didn’t care who was coming into her site, she didn’t bother to turn around.
“Hannah.”
She closed her eyes, allowing the pain of hearing her name from Rob’s lips to wash over her. Then, when she was fairly confident she could see his face without bursting into tears, she straightened and turned to face him.