Chapter Twenty-Two #2
He wasn’t sure what he expected her to do. Had their fling even meant enough to her so she’d cry? Or rage and throw things at him? Curse him out?
Hannah looked at him, the crinkle smoothing out as her face lost all expression. It was as though she turned to stone in front of him, cold and hard. It was so much worse, and he silently begged her to call him names—to pick that heavy pottery mug up off the counter and hurl it at his head.
Anything but look at him with her chin up and her shoulders back, and nothing but disappointment and dismay in those eyes.
“Okay,” she said, and her voice was so quiet he could barely hear her over the hum of the air conditioner. “I guess we’re done distracting each other, then. You should get back to your job. You don’t want your brothers to think you’re slacking.”
“I’m sorry,” Rob said, because he couldn’t wrap his head around her reaction—did she care or not—but he was definitely sorry to be ending their relationship.
“Nothing to be sorry about.” She gestured toward the notebook. “I have work to do, too.”
Rob nodded because there was nothing else to say and then left her camper for the last time. Tears stung his eyes and he wasn’t sure how he managed to walk out of her site without walking into a tree, and then up the hill to the woods where he could be alone to mourn what could have been.
Hannah hated humidity. Heat, she could roll with, but she wanted nothing to do with the outside while the air was just this side of being actual liquid.
She was afraid if she left her camper, she’d instantly be sticky.
Then some of the never-ending parade of ATVs would go by, throwing up dust, and she’d look and feel like she’d rolled in the middle of the dirt road.
But mostly, she was hiding. It was Saturday, and she’d been hiding from the world and all the happy people running around the campground for days. She was hiding from Rob and anybody else with the Kowalski last name.
She wasn’t hiding from the pain, though. There was no escaping the broken heart she hadn’t seen coming. Burrowed into her nest, she cried and then got angry, and then she cried some more.
Under both emotions was a constant confusion, though. She’d had her heart broken before—though never like this. It wasn’t the first time she’d been more invested in a relationship than the man and not realized it until he walked away.
But that wasn’t what had happened here. She wasn’t sure why he’d said those words—we had a fun summer fling, but I think it’s run its course—but he hadn’t meant them. What they’d had was real, and she believed down to her very soul that Rob felt the same way.
With a sound that was part angry growl and part painful crying out, Hannah threw back the blanket and climbed out of her bed.
Then she adjusted the AC, which she’d cranked to make it cold enough so she could nest properly.
It took her a few minutes to wash her face and brush her hair into some semblance of a ponytail.
Hannah was tired of feeling sorry for herself. And she was absolutely tired of thinking. She didn’t want to think anymore. She wanted to act.
After unplugging her phone from the charger, she opened the door of her camper and stepped out into the soup that was passing for air this week.
Then she turned and walked up the hill. Even though there was a sense of urgency humming through her, she took her time because after being in a chilly camper, pushing herself in this heat would be a bad idea.
When she got to the fallen log, she pulled out her phone and pulled up Erika’s number. Then she took a deep breath and hit the FaceTime button.
Her friend answered on the second ring, looking her usual cheerful, put-together self. When she focused on Hannah’s face, she did a double take. “Holy hell, Hannah. What’s wrong?”
She barked out a mirthless laugh. “I thought I did a good job of scrubbing away the evidence.”
“How long were you crying?”
“Three days, I think?” She sniffed, determined to get through all of it without breaking down. “So, confession—my summer fling wasn’t a fling for me. It was real, but apparently it was only a fling for him and it’s over. So I’ve been crying.”
“Oh, Hannah.” Erika’s face crumpled in sympathy. “I don’t understand. He was super into you. Even though you guys were trying to play it cool, it was so obvious.”
“Yeah, I thought so, too. We were wrong.” She took a deep breath and blew it out. “That’s not why I called.”
Erika gave her a sad smile. “Listen, before you say anything, I want you to know I love you no matter what.”
“You already know my answer, don’t you?”
“I do.” She sighed. “I tried. I mean, I tried hard, which you definitely know, because we were talking about a lot of money. But right from the start I knew you wouldn’t be comfortable with it and we’d have this conversation eventually. I’m sorry I pushed so hard.”
“I love you no matter what, too. And you wouldn’t be you if you didn’t push. I’m sorry I’m letting you down.”
“I have options, Hannah. But you’re my number one.”
Hannah smiled through yet another round of tears.
“I want you to take the option that gets you where you want to go. You bring your podcast magic to a producer with deep pockets, and I’ll keep being a historian who tells quiet stories about true crimes that happened before our grandparents were born. ”
“And we’ll still be best friends.”
“We’ll definitely still be best friends.”
They were quiet for a long moment, both of them breathing without the pressure of this decision hanging over them. Their gazes were virtually locked and as the anxiety faded and their pulses slowed, they smiled.
“When are you coming home?” Erika asked. “We’ll get a massive tub of ice cream and watch movies about handsome guys who get murdered.”
Hannah actually laughed, which she hadn’t been sure she’d ever do again. “I’m not sure yet. I’ll text you as soon as I have a date. And you better keep me updated on your meetings, okay? Don’t agree to anything or jump at big numbers without running them past me.”
“Why, Hannah Shelby, are you implying I’m impulsive?”
“Implying? No.” She smiled. “Look, it’s so hot and humid right now I can barely breathe, and I didn’t bring water with me on my trek to the cell signal. I’m going to go, but I’ll talk to you soon.”
“Okay. And, Hannah? He never deserved you.”
Hannah disconnected and stood, relieved to have that call behind her. She wasn’t sure what the future held for either of them, but at least they’d still be friends. Right now, she didn’t have the emotional strength to lose anybody else she loved.
The sound of male laughter drifted to her, and she closed her eyes, trying to pick out Rob’s. It was impossible, she knew. All four of the Kowalski brothers had laughs that were similar enough so even their mother might have trouble telling them apart.
It hurt to think he might be somewhere in the campground right now, sharing jokes and laughing so freely.
It hurt to think of Rob at all, and maybe it was time for more action.
As far as she could tell, she had two options.
She could stay here for another few weeks and leave on the date in the agreement.
She’d be miserable and lonely, and her heart would probably break all over again every time she saw Rob—which would probably be from a distance because she had a hunch he’d avoid her.
Brian would probably take care of anything in her part of the campground.
Or she could pack up and leave early. She wouldn’t get a refund on the site, but she wouldn’t be stuck living in Rob’s world without Rob.
She didn’t want to be here without him.